I've had a bad week, really craving alcohol coz I've been depressed. I didn't go buy any though, I can't even envisage myself taking even a sip of alcohol anymore. I just don't want it, I despise the stuff... The thought of it actually scares me. All that in the space of one month... I never even thought I'd ever get this far and I have no intentions of quitting either. It's getting easier in some respects and in others I find myself getting quite depressed that I'll never be able to have a life that includes alcohol as so many activites and nights out are associated with the stuff. I've no friends left because they all drink and don't get me anyway coz of my Borderline, they just don't want to know me now. I'm pretty pissed at that but at the end of the day those people are not my friends anyway...
My sis came round the other night for something to eat with us, she's obviously drinking too much as she's put on weight, last time she came I had to go recycle about 30 bottles with her, she said it was about a months worth, one bottle a night. I used to be on that... scary...
I'm taking myself out on a day trip next week, my mum wont let me go on my own as it's quite far but I love the shopping, she's worried in case I take a turn or something, also it's a big city so there are all sorts going about. I'm looking forward to just moseying about and drinking coffee and doing a bit of treating myself. I promised my mum I would buy her favourite Charbonnel and Walker lemon truffles, they cost an arm and a leg but they are by far the best chocolates in the world! Lol! I love the Strawberry ones... ! Check the website...
http://www.charbonnel.co.uk/erol.html#1X0
Anyway, writing this has cheered me up a bit, I always forget the nice things, it's like I have to consiously repeat everything to myself... It'll come one day Lol!
ONE WHOLE MONTH FRIDAY 30th MAY!
Hey Izzy, great to hear from you.
You say you're finding things hard, well just sit back and have a think about what that means....you're finding things hard and you don't want to drink. My, my, that sounds like a heck of an achievement to me. You've discovered that some of your pals aren't as steadfast as you'd hoped and you don't want to drink...Izzy, that's got to be several leaps in a good direction and I hope you can feel the pleasure and relief and joy in the fact that you're walking - skipping! - towards the light and the life you deserve.
You'll make new friends, you'll find new and better ways fo enjoying yourself and your life will open uplike a flower in spring....keep in touch, 'cos as you've notced it helps to talk, to just let someone know how we feel...seems to take the pressure off and put everything in perspective.
I'm so happy you're feeling so strong at a difficult time Izzy, it's when things are tough that we're tested.....and today you don't want to drink. That's brilliant.
Enjoy your trip and get yourself some chocolates!
Love,
Martin
You say you're finding things hard, well just sit back and have a think about what that means....you're finding things hard and you don't want to drink. My, my, that sounds like a heck of an achievement to me. You've discovered that some of your pals aren't as steadfast as you'd hoped and you don't want to drink...Izzy, that's got to be several leaps in a good direction and I hope you can feel the pleasure and relief and joy in the fact that you're walking - skipping! - towards the light and the life you deserve.
You'll make new friends, you'll find new and better ways fo enjoying yourself and your life will open uplike a flower in spring....keep in touch, 'cos as you've notced it helps to talk, to just let someone know how we feel...seems to take the pressure off and put everything in perspective.
I'm so happy you're feeling so strong at a difficult time Izzy, it's when things are tough that we're tested.....and today you don't want to drink. That's brilliant.
Enjoy your trip and get yourself some chocolates!
Love,
Martin
Hi there Izzy. I am so glad and relieved to know that you are not drinking. I was gettin kinda worried cause I haven't seen you around lately. I know it's hard sweetie. Please tell yourself that this is what you have to go through if you want to become clean,sober and FREE but it's only for a while and it will pass. It's a small price to pay to have your freedom back,your health back and your life back. A life where the days belongs to you instead of a bottle owning you and having control of you. Day that you can enjoy with nature,your pets and yourself and do anything you feel like doing. I know how hard it is and so do everyone on this board. Our cunning baffling disease is not gonna give up on us without a fight therefore we have to be extra strong for a while. I have faith in you, I know that you will not drink because I know you want to be sober more than anything. I can see your strength growing by what you write in your posts. Anytime you get to feeling bad come on here and post because it really do help. As for your friends they werent real friends if they have left you. You don't need them anymore than you need the bottle. Life has a way of working out and you will find good true friends when the time is right. For now concentrate on YOU for you are the most important one . Be a true friend to yourself and Don't drink. 24 hours Izzy is what we all have. Just one day at a time. Don't think about the alcohol that you will never drink again. Think instead of the How you will be FREE from it in your sobriety.It;'s been 5 months just about for me now and last week Friday came and you know what? I didn't even think about that it was the weekend and that I wouldn't be drinking . It is so liberating to finally becoming free. I want the same for you Izzy. Hang in there and take care. (((( ))))) slyvester (my cat) sends you hugs lol
One Day At A Time, Izzy. Congratulations--and just keep your recovery in front of you. The little one-liners and buzz-words were corny--until I needed them. You're doing fine--keep sharing your progress and experiences. Others can learn from you, too.
Hiya Izzy,
You are doing so great. Just keep at it. You are going through all the normal feelings we go through when we put the drink down.
Hang in there. Positive vibes sent your way.
You are doing so great. Just keep at it. You are going through all the normal feelings we go through when we put the drink down.
Hang in there. Positive vibes sent your way.
| QUOTE |
| I've no friends left because they all drink |
quit the negative thinking,the longer you stay sober and get settled in,the clearer the big picture will become.....
stay sober and I'll bet in 6 months you'll look back at today and wonder why you were feeling like ya do......
it's all a process that has it's ups and downs...
keep in mind this too shall pass !
Hi all, thanks for the responses. I know it's silly to feel that I'm missing out on something if I don't drink, I guess I was in the self destruct mode again when I was thinking that. I'm remembering now how awful those nights out were actually, me pissed being hit on from all sides by awful men, me taking the piss out of them, them getting angry, I'm surprised I didn't end up in the Police station more than once...
Anyway, onwards and upwards, I'm not giving into my cravings, it's more psychological than physical, I'm trying not to stress myself out over silly things.
I just re read the book about Nancy Spungen, and I noticed how different my reaction was to her I used to really identify with Nancy, I behaved like Nancy, I could have been Nancy she was so unhappy, this time I felt like I was reading about a stranger. Just goes to show how much I've progressed in this past year.
Hope you guys are all well!
Anyway, onwards and upwards, I'm not giving into my cravings, it's more psychological than physical, I'm trying not to stress myself out over silly things.
I just re read the book about Nancy Spungen, and I noticed how different my reaction was to her I used to really identify with Nancy, I behaved like Nancy, I could have been Nancy she was so unhappy, this time I felt like I was reading about a stranger. Just goes to show how much I've progressed in this past year.
Hope you guys are all well!
Wow look how far you've come Izzy, way to go! Do you have 30 days? I'm glad that you are doing this thing one day at a time!
Looks good on you Izzy. Way to go girl! you got it in you to fight this thing. You are doing WONDERFUL and such progress! ((((( ))))))
Have a great day Izzy!
I can sense that your doing great! and you're good to go. Don't surrender. I know you will overcome all of those. Well in fact, I have seen your in progress already.
_________________
Ashley
Problem With Drugs or Alcohol? This Drug Rehab has Helped Thousands of Individuals to Recover.
http://www.drugrehabcenter.com Drug Rehab
I can sense that your doing great! and you're good to go. Don't surrender. I know you will overcome all of those. Well in fact, I have seen your in progress already.
_________________
Ashley
Problem With Drugs or Alcohol? This Drug Rehab has Helped Thousands of Individuals to Recover.
http://www.drugrehabcenter.com Drug Rehab
wtg izzy!
