Hello I wanted to share the life my 26 year old has chosen - it's been about 2 years now and my son has been using crystal meth. I have been called in the middle of my work day to pick up my son naked hidding in the bushes of a cemetery - next day after I thought he would consider slowing down (praying he would stop) he took off again and was woken up at 3am by my apartment manager the police again has my son halve dressed jumping from roof tops to top of cars. he has promised me no more he even started school but talk about unableling a person I pay for his court fees, car insurance, phone bill and now there gas for school lab fees - I know I
Not helping but I don't know how to stop and watch him go down hill even faster. Please help
Yoly
Hello,
I have a 23 year old son (first of 5 children)...addicted to just about anything he can get his hands on. He has been an addict since about the age 13. He also has erratic behavior such as your son's.
It is truly heartbreaking to see your "baby" behave that way. Quite honestly, embarrassing.
It has taken 10 years for me to realize I have done nothing to help him. I had to let him go. Not to say I don't struggle with enabling. I pray every day and struggle not to worry and to get some rest. He is now on the street. You know, the addicts that you see walking down the street and feel sorry for. It was my worst fear...but a decision he has made.
After sucking our finances and my parent's money continuously, it came down to the very thing we were trying to avoid. You can't get him out of this. He has to. I know you worry you will bury your son like I do. It's the worst feeling in the world.
My other children, and his own little girl, basically have seen the enabling and destruction all these years. It sucks you in. Like you are on the drug. I am desperately trying to learn to grab hold of my own sanity so that I can be there for myself and others that need me.
My advice is to let him go. No $. If he is acting this way, it is very evident to me that the drug is his priority. NOTHING else. All the money you give or enabling him only depletes from you or your loved ones that need it. They find ways of getting it even if you don't help. If he ends up in jail, it's better than dead.
That's finally where I am...I want my son in jail ;'(
Praying for your family and mine...
I have a 23 year old son (first of 5 children)...addicted to just about anything he can get his hands on. He has been an addict since about the age 13. He also has erratic behavior such as your son's.
It is truly heartbreaking to see your "baby" behave that way. Quite honestly, embarrassing.
It has taken 10 years for me to realize I have done nothing to help him. I had to let him go. Not to say I don't struggle with enabling. I pray every day and struggle not to worry and to get some rest. He is now on the street. You know, the addicts that you see walking down the street and feel sorry for. It was my worst fear...but a decision he has made.
After sucking our finances and my parent's money continuously, it came down to the very thing we were trying to avoid. You can't get him out of this. He has to. I know you worry you will bury your son like I do. It's the worst feeling in the world.
My other children, and his own little girl, basically have seen the enabling and destruction all these years. It sucks you in. Like you are on the drug. I am desperately trying to learn to grab hold of my own sanity so that I can be there for myself and others that need me.
My advice is to let him go. No $. If he is acting this way, it is very evident to me that the drug is his priority. NOTHING else. All the money you give or enabling him only depletes from you or your loved ones that need it. They find ways of getting it even if you don't help. If he ends up in jail, it's better than dead.
That's finally where I am...I want my son in jail ;'(
Praying for your family and mine...
Dear Yoly,
I suspect you've been introduced to a family program which is real good. Here is my standard advice to people who have an addicted loved one:
Codepdency is as much a disease as the actual addiction - and it requires a plan to treat.
I strongly encourage you to seek out a family support program such as Al Anon or NAR Anon. If your son goes into a treatment center, then they usually offer a family suppoprt program. You will learn that you are powerless over someone elses's addiction, and learn that enabling behavior is unhealthy for you and the addict. A "Interventionist' I know says that codepedency has killed as many addicts as the drugs themselves. In order to be as helpful as possible to your son, you need to be healthy and on firm footing.
I empathize with you and know it is a gut-wrenching situation. You are not alone. There are millions of us in the United States who are suffering because a loved one has fallen into addiction.
I hope this helps,
Flyboy
I suspect you've been introduced to a family program which is real good. Here is my standard advice to people who have an addicted loved one:
Codepdency is as much a disease as the actual addiction - and it requires a plan to treat.
I strongly encourage you to seek out a family support program such as Al Anon or NAR Anon. If your son goes into a treatment center, then they usually offer a family suppoprt program. You will learn that you are powerless over someone elses's addiction, and learn that enabling behavior is unhealthy for you and the addict. A "Interventionist' I know says that codepedency has killed as many addicts as the drugs themselves. In order to be as helpful as possible to your son, you need to be healthy and on firm footing.
I empathize with you and know it is a gut-wrenching situation. You are not alone. There are millions of us in the United States who are suffering because a loved one has fallen into addiction.
I hope this helps,
Flyboy
