Con, please don't take my rant at a dig for what you said earlier, I appreciate it. I have read a lot of posts and replies on here and I guess because this is honestly my first exposure to hearing someone meone else's experiences other then my own it is somewhat shocking and a lot to process. I have always known my story was not not a typical story but never cared enough to see what others experienced until my daughter became a user. I pray everyday that whatever I have inside me that made it possible for me to do what I did is inside her too... learned or genetic it would just be nice to know that as easy and hard as it was all at the same time that she would have just as easy and hard of a time. If that makes sense. In some ways because my experience was so unique I am like a very educated but completely clueless non user. I am not kidding when I say that I never looked back, I also never thought back. I never viewed myself as the person that I was when I walked away. I was a complete control freek and that included my thoughts..... but it worked. I never counted my clean days, although my daughter who was 13 when I quit apparently has been. I was shocked to learn that she has kept up with it all these years. I was also shocked to know that she finds me to be the most " inspirational, strong, and determined person" she has ever known. That is why she is so determined to come here and live at home. This scares me.... what if the knowledge I have ( that will only be given when asked for) is of no use to her and doesn't help her? This is the scariest place I have been in 12 years.
I firmly believe that there is a reason for every person who touches our lives to touch it. I have already learned a lot from you and the others who have replied. Something I learn here will be life altering for me at some point. No interaction is ever pointless.
I appreciate you and hope you understand and do not take it personal.
Paige
Paige and Mary, thanks for your encouragement. It's much appreciated. Paige, After many years in recovery, I stopped labeling myself an addict. That was my identity at one time in my life, but that is not who I am today. I am so much more than that. I am no longer in active addiction but I have not forgotten what that life is all about and I respect that. So I hear you. My son has, in my opinion, taken a geographical, for a fresh start. He immediately hooked up with same crowd from whence he left, almost 5 years ago. All I can do is pray, detach with love and let him live his life the way he needs to. There is always so much more going on than meets the eye. Thanks for listening.
@Paige..I completely understand your hesitation about meetings. I think 12 step programs are good in theory, but I found the rooms to be a place filled with sickness. You are right that a lot of people are court ordered. Not everyone is there to get well and I witnessed a lot of hook-ups..for drugs and other things. There are tons of meetings, so I'm sure there are good ones.
I personally found SMART recovery to be more helpful. It, to me, is more empowering. There is no requirement for a "higher power" and it is based on CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) which has scientific backing.
There are other non 12 step alternatives such as LIfeRing, SOS (secular organiztions for sobriety) and WFS (Woman for sobriety). I'm sure this board is sick of me listing these other groups, but I struggled greatly with 12 step programs and always felt I failed because I was doing something wrong. Instead, I discovered, that for me, it wasn't the appropriate place and I was amazed that alternatives exisited because I never heard of them before!
So, I list them just as information that I wish I had years ago!
Also, I agree with Con. I think addiction occurs on a continuum..kind of like cancer. Some get cancer and immediately go into remission and never look back. Some struggle with recurrance and need treatment multiple times before remission happens..and some die without ever getting better at all. Not to say addiction is cancer, but it does follow the same course..some addicts get better once and stay better, some get better and relapse frequently, and some never get better and die from their disease...it all ocurs on a continuum and no one is quite the same. I am very glad that you were able to walk away! Addiction is a b****! Plain and simple!
I personally found SMART recovery to be more helpful. It, to me, is more empowering. There is no requirement for a "higher power" and it is based on CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) which has scientific backing.
There are other non 12 step alternatives such as LIfeRing, SOS (secular organiztions for sobriety) and WFS (Woman for sobriety). I'm sure this board is sick of me listing these other groups, but I struggled greatly with 12 step programs and always felt I failed because I was doing something wrong. Instead, I discovered, that for me, it wasn't the appropriate place and I was amazed that alternatives exisited because I never heard of them before!
So, I list them just as information that I wish I had years ago!
Also, I agree with Con. I think addiction occurs on a continuum..kind of like cancer. Some get cancer and immediately go into remission and never look back. Some struggle with recurrance and need treatment multiple times before remission happens..and some die without ever getting better at all. Not to say addiction is cancer, but it does follow the same course..some addicts get better once and stay better, some get better and relapse frequently, and some never get better and die from their disease...it all ocurs on a continuum and no one is quite the same. I am very glad that you were able to walk away! Addiction is a b****! Plain and simple!
