Hey guys
It has been quite a while since I have posted.. I went to Birmingham and looked for my sister and I found her... It did not turn out how I had hoped but I thought that I needed to do it so that I would feel better and at least feel as if I did my part. But now I feel even more obligated to do something... Let me tell you what happened and any feedback that you guys can give me would be appreciated...
I went to the Truck Stop where she was last known to be working (hooking) I went inside the stop and asked around and found some people that knew her and they stated to me that she had be arrested and thrown in jail. So I called Birmingham Jail and they told me that she had been released on her on signature and had to be in court on September 11. 2007 for a hearing.. So I went to the next Truck Stop that she works in the area and low and behold there she was trying to work the Trucks in the lot. I was so excited, I rooled down the window and yelled her name and she then came over to the car and was just as happy to see me as I was her... I thought that it was going to be a fairy tale ending after that... Anyways, I asked her if she wanted to get help and she kept replying to me that she was not being harmed in any way and that these people here on the streets loved her. I told her that none of them loved her an ounce of what I did. She then stated that she was going to have to think about it and see if that was something that she was willing to commit to and then we talked a little about our lives as children growing up together and she then stated to me that she was not ready for the help and that her little boy knew that this truck stop is where she could be found and that our parents knew that is where she could be found if something happened with Blake (her little boy which my parents have) I told her that she could be a mom to Blake and that he needed her and that I would help her get to that pointl.. (I am estranged from my whole family by the way and I found out where she was through a uncle that I have recently been trying to rekindle things with.) So with that being said she then told me that she would always be at one of these two truck stops if I ever needed to see her... She was high and drunk during this conversation and I told her to come with me sober up and then think about this with a clear head, she refused.... I begged her and told her that I knew that I could do nothing until she was ready.She then wanted us to take her and drop her off where she could get out of the car and I let her go. I cried after she got out of the car I didn't let her see that it got to me and I was proud of that.. I know that this has to come from her but comments that she made make me believe that she thinks she is not worth the saving. And not to mention she tried to give me every bit of jewerly that was on her and I refused it..I didn't want to take those things but now I am thinking that she may have taken offense to that. I think that she was trying to give me something of hers to remember her by or something.. I am not sure maybe I am reading to much into that.... Anyway I gave my number to the owner of the truck stop which is a great guy.. He called me today after I got back to Panama City from Birmingham and told me that he had seen her and he wanted to know had I been able to find her.. He stated that he told her that I was looking for her and that she just said" Yeah I know" and then left the store.. He told me that he had been watching her do this for over 2 years now. And that he had tired to talk to her about getting clean due to the 8 girls that have died at this same truck stop in the last 2 years from this same thing (drugs and just being killed by the pimps). She has a pimp and I am not sure what type of hold he may have on her either... Anyways she has a court date on Sept 11th and I was wanting to call and see as a family member if there was anything I could ask the courts to do to try and safe her.. Like a mandatory jail sentence of a year to get her clean or a mandatory rehab for a year.. I am willing to help and willing to help with the money needed to do this.. Can anyone help me out with this delimia? I told myself that I only wanted to see and ask her once to get help and that would be the it of it. And now I feel I have to try something else.. And I do realize that i will continue to do that until I get her help or fix her so to speak. I will try to come to terms with that and have a stopping point where I make myself let it go... It just really hurts to watch this and to know that she is in this situation no matter why she is there or what the reason it still hurts no matter what the answers are the those questions... Thanks in advance for the feedback.... My hear aches for everyone that is effected by this terrible ordeal of addiction....
Kristi
wow--what a tremendouse heartache--i am so gratefull not to be at that point anymore--keep supporting her in those ways you are doing all that you can --good for you if you can go see her let her feel your love--let her see your tears next time--she need to feel that love if you can of course--it may be too herd on your heart--i dont know how i put my family throught hose kinds of things, i had many guardian angels surrounding me i pray she finds the light--so many do not have family and others who love and care about them......a moment of silence for the addict who still suffers......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Kirsti, sorry to hear about your sis. Even though she refused your help deep down she will be pleased that you made the effort. As far as the jail/ rehab/ court? I'm in th Uk, don't know how it works in the states. All i can say is make sure she knows that you are there for her cause there will be a time when she has had enough and knowing someone is there for her will be a great help. Wishing you and your Sis all the best, Kev
WoW- Helluva reunion story. You have a big heart > be careful sis doesnt break it any more than it is. Your wanting to help her is admirable ,but if she doesnt want it- youll waste your money and energy. She is probably scared and confused, I would encourge her,just like you did ,to get some help- - but be careful , dealing with pimps and street people who need her for thier income can be dangerous for you.
all the best
jack
all the best
jack
WOW, Boggsy ya found her..........thank you for coming back to tell us.
The thing about the jewelry really got to me........can't speak just for your sister, BUT that meant alot of things I think..........despite however she seemed to act deep down we are embarrassed alot.......I'm sure that came in to play......but no doubt she was deep down thrilled you came looking for her.......somebody does care........it really hits ya when you know people care even though you are out there.
I agree with Jack too........your sister is a source of income.........on the street there's a code, and it shouldn't be broken.........however if she does want to somehow get out she knows she can call you......nice the owner of the place at the truck stop cares as well........I'll send up prayers for ya Boggsy.
The thing about the jewelry really got to me........can't speak just for your sister, BUT that meant alot of things I think..........despite however she seemed to act deep down we are embarrassed alot.......I'm sure that came in to play......but no doubt she was deep down thrilled you came looking for her.......somebody does care........it really hits ya when you know people care even though you are out there.
I agree with Jack too........your sister is a source of income.........on the street there's a code, and it shouldn't be broken.........however if she does want to somehow get out she knows she can call you......nice the owner of the place at the truck stop cares as well........I'll send up prayers for ya Boggsy.
Thanks gusy!! The prayers are appreciated.. I am bound and determined to give it what I can to an extent to help her. I know that she has to want this more than I do before it will help.. I was on the Family Board a minute ago and saw a post about a father that stabbed his addict son. I have to say that on the way home after seeing her that crossed my mind. I know that is a selfish thougth but sometimes I think that we get to a point that it would be better off for us the ones that love a addict to see that person dead and put a closure of some sort on it.. It is a minds way of protecting itself I think as well like a defense mechanism. I hate to say it but I would rather, if she stays on this road, see her die soon and not have to live a life with a disease that will take her life day by day and tear her and wear her body down or worse yet brutal killed by a pimp or a "john"... I know that sounds harsh and selfish.. I just don't want to see her suffer at all nor do I want to suffer.... I really can't make a lot of sense on why I am thinking in that way.... It is sad I don't want to think that way at all but I am wearing down myself and I know that I cannot continue to do that either... I just want a closure on this. Either for her to het help and be done of for me to not have to worry anymore about the ordeal.... I feel that I should not be thinking like that and that it is wrong.. I hate this??????????
But THANK YOU all for your post it really helps me get through this. I appreciate you guys more than you will ever know..........Look I am silly I am actuallly crying as I write this and thinking to myself "Kristi You know that even though you don't know these people on here you have a great bunch of love for them!" I hate that you guys are in this same boat as well..And I pray that you all stay clean and healthy and live long lives and speak of what you have been through to educate this ugly world of what and how this thing we call addiction can be overcome... I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But THANK YOU all for your post it really helps me get through this. I appreciate you guys more than you will ever know..........Look I am silly I am actuallly crying as I write this and thinking to myself "Kristi You know that even though you don't know these people on here you have a great bunch of love for them!" I hate that you guys are in this same boat as well..And I pray that you all stay clean and healthy and live long lives and speak of what you have been through to educate this ugly world of what and how this thing we call addiction can be overcome... I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Boggsy it's reading posts like yours i wish i had a magic wand to make it all better....If only, eh? Peace and positive vibes, Kev
