Hi Gary,
Just wanted to Thank you as I don't recall doing so. Early June I wrote a post and you got back to me quickly. I appreciate it. Late May I had asked my bf to leave as he had stolen money from me. He was totally out of control. Well it's two months later and things are much better. We spent a couple months apart, he stayed with his sister. He has been clean for 2 months now and I am happy for him. It's made a big difference that his family knows and little or no secrecy left. I know it's just the start and nothing is engraved, though he says that was his bottom. I am staying positive.We are working things out now. I truly beleive I had to make that big step as I was being dragged too deeply down, and he needed help I couldn't give him. Anyways thanks again you reassured my confidence! Along with so many others on this site you've provided a lot of support to people.Hope you are well! Dora
Hi,Dora
It really makes me feel happy that i was able to help you out a wee bit when you felt helpless in your situation but you should give yourself a pat on the back because what you have done is such a hard thing to do and as you now know its just the initial reaction from the family that is hard to deal with but now youve got that out of the way you and your boyfriend can concentrate on getting him better,, even though what you've done must have been hard for you maybe and hopefully it will have been enough for him to give him a wake up call and now he will realise that the whole world just wont wait for him and his addiction,, so congratulations dora ,, what youve done has given you stregnth and i mean he now knows that you have had enough and you're not going to let him do this to you anymore and the othher good thing is that youre boyfriend has some support from his own family so i hope everything goes well for you now
Love,,,Gary
It really makes me feel happy that i was able to help you out a wee bit when you felt helpless in your situation but you should give yourself a pat on the back because what you have done is such a hard thing to do and as you now know its just the initial reaction from the family that is hard to deal with but now youve got that out of the way you and your boyfriend can concentrate on getting him better,, even though what you've done must have been hard for you maybe and hopefully it will have been enough for him to give him a wake up call and now he will realise that the whole world just wont wait for him and his addiction,, so congratulations dora ,, what youve done has given you stregnth and i mean he now knows that you have had enough and you're not going to let him do this to you anymore and the othher good thing is that youre boyfriend has some support from his own family so i hope everything goes well for you now
Love,,,Gary
Thanks Gary, How are your kids? I think you said you were going to see them a while back!
Dora
Dora
Yeah Dora the kids are fine I had my son come over to ireland last month and we had a briliant time and then i went over to scotland for two weeks which was great because it was my daughters birthday so that was great as i really needed to see them because i was missing them soooooo much,, both my kids birthdays where in july and my wee boy wanted a gameboy advance and my daughter just wanted some dolls but instead of getting my wee boy a gameboy I just got a massive trampoline for them which is grrrrreat fun and its better than having him playing computer games all the time cause hes already got a playstation 2 so at least now i know thay are getting plenty of exercise on it,,, so thats all great,,
Unfortunatly though when i was in scotland my mum moved house to a different town which was all good but the town she moved to was a town where i have alot of enemies and when i was out at the pubs i ended up losing my mates and i got a kicking from a gang of lads so i ended up in hospital which was s*** because everything was going so well when i was back and it never even crossed my mind to use heroin but after i had been beaten up i was stuck in the house and i started to think about heroin again and guess what,, i ended up ussing again which was really s*** after all the hard work i had put in to staying off that s***,,, but luckily it was only a few times so its really pissed me off as i thought i was strong enough to cope back in scotland but to be honest with you i dont think i would have used if i had never been attacked but there you go ehh,, i wasn't as strong as i thought i was but never mind i'm back now and theres no way i would use in ireland,, but apart from that s***,, yeah my time with my kids was amazing
Love,,Gary
Unfortunatly though when i was in scotland my mum moved house to a different town which was all good but the town she moved to was a town where i have alot of enemies and when i was out at the pubs i ended up losing my mates and i got a kicking from a gang of lads so i ended up in hospital which was s*** because everything was going so well when i was back and it never even crossed my mind to use heroin but after i had been beaten up i was stuck in the house and i started to think about heroin again and guess what,, i ended up ussing again which was really s*** after all the hard work i had put in to staying off that s***,,, but luckily it was only a few times so its really pissed me off as i thought i was strong enough to cope back in scotland but to be honest with you i dont think i would have used if i had never been attacked but there you go ehh,, i wasn't as strong as i thought i was but never mind i'm back now and theres no way i would use in ireland,, but apart from that s***,, yeah my time with my kids was amazing
Love,,Gary
Hi Gary,
Sorry to hear about your slip. That really sucks about you being beatten up by those guys. Keep on truckin', don't let that fall stay in your way. You seem pretty determined and I geusse Scotland is not your best bet for now. I am happy to hear thet you went with the trampolene! Outdoor fun, I work with kids and see many soooo fixated on their gameboys etc... Good Choice! They can thinking and thanking their Dad each time the're having fun on it! I am from Canada though both my Grandparents immigrated from Scotland. I have never been to either Scotland or Ireland, though it is one of my travel goals for the near future. I'll keep in touch. Glad you're back in Ireland!
Dora
Sorry to hear about your slip. That really sucks about you being beatten up by those guys. Keep on truckin', don't let that fall stay in your way. You seem pretty determined and I geusse Scotland is not your best bet for now. I am happy to hear thet you went with the trampolene! Outdoor fun, I work with kids and see many soooo fixated on their gameboys etc... Good Choice! They can thinking and thanking their Dad each time the're having fun on it! I am from Canada though both my Grandparents immigrated from Scotland. I have never been to either Scotland or Ireland, though it is one of my travel goals for the near future. I'll keep in touch. Glad you're back in Ireland!
Dora
Gary C
Just wanted to ask you a question if you don't mind regarding your recent slip with heroin......and of course i applaud your tenacity and strength of will not to have let the slip turn into a slide if you will...
I myself am a recovering alcoholic.....closing in on almost 17 and half years clean but to this day and thank God the desire to drink has well passed but of course there are times when you think "Gee wouldn't it be nice"....but of course reality always snaps back in pretty quickly....as they say in AA it is the first drink that gets you drunk and i know that even after these many years of sobriety that if i took A drink the progression of the way i used to drink would probably set in a day or two...
I have also encountered many tragedies throughout those 17years plus of sobriety...including the suicide of my youngest brother and i knew that drinking would not bring him back nor would it insure future coping capability in the mishaps in life that are yet to be.
I gather from the recent and numerous tragedies i have suffered with my heroin addicted ex- boyfriend....that heroin is a powerful and cunning addiction that is hard to beat......it baffles me and i have no desire to wrestle with that "demon".....alcohol was bad enough...
I am sorry that you were beaten badly by those gang members but to me tempting a worse fate by risking just a taste of that powerful old devil heroin for some temporary emotional relief just seems like the worst of two evils....
How will you "cope" when misfortune strikes again? I hope i am not hurting your feelings but it seems that you minimized the seriousness of your lapse with heroin in your post and that kind of scared me a bit....
Anyway thanx for taking the time to read this
MARY
Just wanted to ask you a question if you don't mind regarding your recent slip with heroin......and of course i applaud your tenacity and strength of will not to have let the slip turn into a slide if you will...
I myself am a recovering alcoholic.....closing in on almost 17 and half years clean but to this day and thank God the desire to drink has well passed but of course there are times when you think "Gee wouldn't it be nice"....but of course reality always snaps back in pretty quickly....as they say in AA it is the first drink that gets you drunk and i know that even after these many years of sobriety that if i took A drink the progression of the way i used to drink would probably set in a day or two...
I have also encountered many tragedies throughout those 17years plus of sobriety...including the suicide of my youngest brother and i knew that drinking would not bring him back nor would it insure future coping capability in the mishaps in life that are yet to be.
I gather from the recent and numerous tragedies i have suffered with my heroin addicted ex- boyfriend....that heroin is a powerful and cunning addiction that is hard to beat......it baffles me and i have no desire to wrestle with that "demon".....alcohol was bad enough...
I am sorry that you were beaten badly by those gang members but to me tempting a worse fate by risking just a taste of that powerful old devil heroin for some temporary emotional relief just seems like the worst of two evils....
How will you "cope" when misfortune strikes again? I hope i am not hurting your feelings but it seems that you minimized the seriousness of your lapse with heroin in your post and that kind of scared me a bit....
Anyway thanx for taking the time to read this
MARY
Hi mary/Dora
I know that when i made my last post it may have sounded like i wasn't to bothered about my little relapse but thats because i'm not wanting to let it get me down anymore than it already has, I know that i'm going to have to put more coping statergies in place so i'm going to see my councilor on the 31st of this month and hopefully she will be able to help me do this as i really did feel i was now in a position to handle anything that was thrown at me but obviously i am not as strong as i first thought i was but as anyone will tell you,,, when you get off heroin and you ARE doing really well in keeping off it you just feel that now you are off it and you are having no urges to use again you really do feel quite invincable but at least now i know that there is still bridges for me to cross and instead of my usual 6 month relapse it was only a 4 day relapse and for me to be able to give myself a quick shake and tell myself what i'm doing is not right is still in itself an achievement for me as in the past i would just keep getting out of it and wallow in my own self pity trying to find something or someone to blame for the position i was in,, so just for me not to do that is really quite good for me
So it's not as if i have minimised the relapse as i've still had to lay in bed at night and try hard to think of new ways to deal with situations like this,, It's just i dont want to try and get sympathy from people by typing everything that i'm feeling,, what i'd rather do with this forum now is,, is try to pass some of my knowlege and expeiences with coming off the gear with other people who are either thinking of coming off H or in the early stages of getting off the H
You see mary,, when i first started using this forum i was in quite a bad way and i just did not think i was going to be able to cope with life without heroin and i really did feel that i was on my own even though i do have a good family behind me it felt as if i was the only person in the world who was going through all the s*** that goes with coming off heroin,, but one day when i was looking for some info on subutex i found this site and within a day i had fond lots of people who where in the very same position as me and just to know i could talk to people who where going through or had been through what i was going through really did give me hope and stregnth to beat my terrible afliction of heroin,, well it was a god send.. So now that i have came through my darkest days I dont want to burden people with my problems as i have a councilor to help me,, so instead of me asking for everyone to give me there support i would rather they give it to someone who did really need it,,, Its not that i have no need for other peoples advice because obviously i do and i do take good advice on board its just i dont feel i have things i need to vent just now,, so i would just rather help people and keep in touch with those of you's who have helped me in the past
So thats me over and out Mary,,,Love Gary
I know that when i made my last post it may have sounded like i wasn't to bothered about my little relapse but thats because i'm not wanting to let it get me down anymore than it already has, I know that i'm going to have to put more coping statergies in place so i'm going to see my councilor on the 31st of this month and hopefully she will be able to help me do this as i really did feel i was now in a position to handle anything that was thrown at me but obviously i am not as strong as i first thought i was but as anyone will tell you,,, when you get off heroin and you ARE doing really well in keeping off it you just feel that now you are off it and you are having no urges to use again you really do feel quite invincable but at least now i know that there is still bridges for me to cross and instead of my usual 6 month relapse it was only a 4 day relapse and for me to be able to give myself a quick shake and tell myself what i'm doing is not right is still in itself an achievement for me as in the past i would just keep getting out of it and wallow in my own self pity trying to find something or someone to blame for the position i was in,, so just for me not to do that is really quite good for me
So it's not as if i have minimised the relapse as i've still had to lay in bed at night and try hard to think of new ways to deal with situations like this,, It's just i dont want to try and get sympathy from people by typing everything that i'm feeling,, what i'd rather do with this forum now is,, is try to pass some of my knowlege and expeiences with coming off the gear with other people who are either thinking of coming off H or in the early stages of getting off the H
You see mary,, when i first started using this forum i was in quite a bad way and i just did not think i was going to be able to cope with life without heroin and i really did feel that i was on my own even though i do have a good family behind me it felt as if i was the only person in the world who was going through all the s*** that goes with coming off heroin,, but one day when i was looking for some info on subutex i found this site and within a day i had fond lots of people who where in the very same position as me and just to know i could talk to people who where going through or had been through what i was going through really did give me hope and stregnth to beat my terrible afliction of heroin,, well it was a god send.. So now that i have came through my darkest days I dont want to burden people with my problems as i have a councilor to help me,, so instead of me asking for everyone to give me there support i would rather they give it to someone who did really need it,,, Its not that i have no need for other peoples advice because obviously i do and i do take good advice on board its just i dont feel i have things i need to vent just now,, so i would just rather help people and keep in touch with those of you's who have helped me in the past
So thats me over and out Mary,,,Love Gary
Thank you for responding Gary and i am glad i didn't hurt your feelings and if you don't mind me throwing you a line from AA as i think it coincides with with you were trying to say about your little setback...."don't let the guilt of a slip turn into a major slide" and i know i am being a bit of a humorous twit for using this old time worn adage..."if the horse throws ya just get right back in the saddle and ride".....the "horse" being the animal in this case.....ouch!
Just a little recovery humor if you will....but hey sometimes you need a sense of humor to help you through the hard times...
MARY
Just a little recovery humor if you will....but hey sometimes you need a sense of humor to help you through the hard times...
MARY
