oh my God. it hurts for me to have to type this. harboring my secret.
i relapsed. it became my security blanket again. if s*** goes wrong, fix it with a pill. knowing that it's there, i'm addicted to that. it doesnt make me high at all. it didnt really ever make me high. i haven't taken more than 4 a day. why the f*** can't i stay clean? i'm smart, i have so many good things going in my life. why do i need something to ensure that if s*** hits the fan, i can feel okay.
yes, i'm ashamed. it's my 3rd time relapsing. someone please help me understand this disease. i had a couple months clean & then i got a case of the f*** its. i just didn't care. now i'm in the middle of it again. and i know the road ahead is not an easy one. it certainly is not easy. i have to do something different. because MY WAY doesn't work. i'm not crying, i'm not going to say i hate myself, i hate my life, blah blah.... i just need some advice. i have so much s*** going on in my life - it's never a good time to kick. i have sub in my closet - but i hate sub. i don't want to take it. i need rehab. but that's not an option.
my way didn't work. i've proven that to myself now.
i'm so sorry to let my dear friends down, here. you know who you are.
i can only come forth & be honest & share my feelings with you. (i'm surprised some of you didn't catch on - i withdrew from this board completely). regardless, here i am. that's all i can do right now.
skeeter
Dear Skeeter,
We don't talk much but I just read your post...You are NOT alone. For some reason relapse is all part of recovery. I know I am not telling you anything you don't already know. Please ditch the shame...It took a lot of guts to come here and tell on yourself. Shows that you are still fighting this disease. I know when I quit I felt like I was giving up my bestest friend...Who the hell wants to do that...so of course you feel better knowing you have some in reserve...just in case...Forgive me but I don't remember if you go to counseling or attend meetings...New coping skills and others to depend on can help when I need someone to lean on...as you know the pills aren't in any way shape or form our "friends"...Keep trying Skeeter...you'll get there...
((((((((((((Hugs of Support))))))))))))
Jan
We don't talk much but I just read your post...You are NOT alone. For some reason relapse is all part of recovery. I know I am not telling you anything you don't already know. Please ditch the shame...It took a lot of guts to come here and tell on yourself. Shows that you are still fighting this disease. I know when I quit I felt like I was giving up my bestest friend...Who the hell wants to do that...so of course you feel better knowing you have some in reserve...just in case...Forgive me but I don't remember if you go to counseling or attend meetings...New coping skills and others to depend on can help when I need someone to lean on...as you know the pills aren't in any way shape or form our "friends"...Keep trying Skeeter...you'll get there...
((((((((((((Hugs of Support))))))))))))
Jan
Skeeter-I was wondering about you the other day.
You didn't let anybody down.I appreciate your honesty and I want to be real up front with you.
I think you need to make meetings.If this is your 3rd relapse,it might help.
I know you live in the Houston area and I would be glad to find some meetings for you and even meet you at one.
If your open to that suggestion,I can leave my e-mail for you.
Don't do the shame and guilt trip.It's a waste of time.Spend your energy on a new solution.
I'm not going to push this point.I'll let others share their advice.
I'm going to dinner with my sponsor,but will leave my e-mail if you want to chat.
Welcome back.I've missed you.
timlincoln@aol.com
You didn't let anybody down.I appreciate your honesty and I want to be real up front with you.
I think you need to make meetings.If this is your 3rd relapse,it might help.
I know you live in the Houston area and I would be glad to find some meetings for you and even meet you at one.
If your open to that suggestion,I can leave my e-mail for you.
Don't do the shame and guilt trip.It's a waste of time.Spend your energy on a new solution.
I'm not going to push this point.I'll let others share their advice.
I'm going to dinner with my sponsor,but will leave my e-mail if you want to chat.
Welcome back.I've missed you.
timlincoln@aol.com
Skeeter,ive noticed your absense,though i dont get here as often as i like myself.
The part of your post that really hit me,you said,im a smart person.Yes,and so am i and so are the rest of us here.Too bad that has nothing to do with it,or we would fix the problem with no troubles at all huh?
Help,f2f help,counseling,meetings,people to talk to,people with first hand knowledge,on a regular basis is the answer.
I finally went to a recovery center and they are helping me so much.It is the clear difference for me.(that and sub,which i hope to be off of soon)
I think you should do some research,find some meetings in your area,find some recovery center,councelor,whatever you think will help.
Youre not alone,we've all done it,yu know,and it does seem shameful to come bakc here and admit it,but...you admitted it,yuore ready to stop the insanity once again,and that is the best first step you can take.You can do this,reach out,find the help you need,you wont be sorry.IUt will make all the difference.Welcome back~KIM
The part of your post that really hit me,you said,im a smart person.Yes,and so am i and so are the rest of us here.Too bad that has nothing to do with it,or we would fix the problem with no troubles at all huh?
Help,f2f help,counseling,meetings,people to talk to,people with first hand knowledge,on a regular basis is the answer.
I finally went to a recovery center and they are helping me so much.It is the clear difference for me.(that and sub,which i hope to be off of soon)
I think you should do some research,find some meetings in your area,find some recovery center,councelor,whatever you think will help.
Youre not alone,we've all done it,yu know,and it does seem shameful to come bakc here and admit it,but...you admitted it,yuore ready to stop the insanity once again,and that is the best first step you can take.You can do this,reach out,find the help you need,you wont be sorry.IUt will make all the difference.Welcome back~KIM
okay i take all that back. your responses just made me cry.
thank you for writing me back.
when i said that i didn't care anymore- of course i care. it's my life and i only live it once. and i don't want to live it on pills. i'm just really in between this whole thing. one minute i just dont care about anything. and the next i want to wake up early & feel good (pill free).
i've never gone to a meeting. i know it's what i need. i kept entertaining the thought so many times, i looked up the times, i live near downtown and there's a place near white oak that i practically just sat in my car about to drive to it, but decided not to go alone. the guy i live with doesnt understand this addiction thing. by default (not intentionally), he made me feel silly about having to go to a meeting. i dunno - i can talk forever about everything. my life, how i relapsed, i'm very aware of how i got myself into this mess - found a cheap connect (hell 3 or 4 of them). i'm very aware of whats going on. i dont take tons of pills to get high, i just take one or two to make skeeter feel okay. it's actually just stupid. now i'm stuck with a physical dependence on them.
basiclly, i just got screwed.
thank you tim. i would like that.
thank you for writing me back.
when i said that i didn't care anymore- of course i care. it's my life and i only live it once. and i don't want to live it on pills. i'm just really in between this whole thing. one minute i just dont care about anything. and the next i want to wake up early & feel good (pill free).
i've never gone to a meeting. i know it's what i need. i kept entertaining the thought so many times, i looked up the times, i live near downtown and there's a place near white oak that i practically just sat in my car about to drive to it, but decided not to go alone. the guy i live with doesnt understand this addiction thing. by default (not intentionally), he made me feel silly about having to go to a meeting. i dunno - i can talk forever about everything. my life, how i relapsed, i'm very aware of how i got myself into this mess - found a cheap connect (hell 3 or 4 of them). i'm very aware of whats going on. i dont take tons of pills to get high, i just take one or two to make skeeter feel okay. it's actually just stupid. now i'm stuck with a physical dependence on them.
basiclly, i just got screwed.
thank you tim. i would like that.
i want to be clean.
Skeeter-Is it that group on White Oak in the little white house in the Heights?
Awesome group!!!!!They have an NA meeting tomorrow at 8:00 PM.
I'll double check that with my sponsor tonight.I haven't been there in about a year and a half but it's a small intimate group.
I'm so glad to see you back.
It's all going to be o.k.
You simply made an error in judgement.
I can't tell you how many times I relapsed before it finally sunk in.I had to suck up my pride and admit I couldn't be my support group.Maybe it was time to listen to those people.
Nobody's keeping score.
You hang in there.I would love to stick around but I have to run.I'm running late now.
Awesome group!!!!!They have an NA meeting tomorrow at 8:00 PM.
I'll double check that with my sponsor tonight.I haven't been there in about a year and a half but it's a small intimate group.
I'm so glad to see you back.
It's all going to be o.k.
You simply made an error in judgement.
I can't tell you how many times I relapsed before it finally sunk in.I had to suck up my pride and admit I couldn't be my support group.Maybe it was time to listen to those people.
Nobody's keeping score.
You hang in there.I would love to stick around but I have to run.I'm running late now.
Skeeter baby I'm so sorry honey. I have missed you so much and you are so not alone. I will be by your side through your entire journey. you have my number give me a call anytime. I have yours too so if you don't i'll track your butt down!! lol
Weren't you on sub at one point? Did you get off of it already a while back??
I'd really suggest you go to a therapist or addiction specialist, someone you can talk to and sort your mind out. That way you can find out why you want to use, what do you want to fix? You are a smart beautiful chick. You will get through this. I know you will.
I love you skeetery!
XOXOXO
stac
Weren't you on sub at one point? Did you get off of it already a while back??
I'd really suggest you go to a therapist or addiction specialist, someone you can talk to and sort your mind out. That way you can find out why you want to use, what do you want to fix? You are a smart beautiful chick. You will get through this. I know you will.
I love you skeetery!
XOXOXO
stac
Skeeter,
The "guy you live with" (not sure if its a boyfriend or what), doesnt have to know you go to a meeting. Probably after you go to a few and get something out of it then you can explain to him what it is about. If you are saying yourself that your way doesnt work, then obviously you need a new way. Since you are just at 4 pills (for now - that will definitely increase in time) I would not think you would need sub, you just need to be given the strength not to take a pill - ever. See if the meetings are the way to go for you. I wish you luck. You are at a good stage to kick this - (Its always a good stage to kick this)
The "guy you live with" (not sure if its a boyfriend or what), doesnt have to know you go to a meeting. Probably after you go to a few and get something out of it then you can explain to him what it is about. If you are saying yourself that your way doesnt work, then obviously you need a new way. Since you are just at 4 pills (for now - that will definitely increase in time) I would not think you would need sub, you just need to be given the strength not to take a pill - ever. See if the meetings are the way to go for you. I wish you luck. You are at a good stage to kick this - (Its always a good stage to kick this)
skeeter
take tim's advice and go to the meeting with him as he offered. what a blessing to be able to have tim to mentor you, i wish so much i could have him for a sponsor.... he offers wonderful experience strength and hope for us here.i know the meeting thing is scary, i went to meetings all alone scared to death! i was forced to go by an addiction counselor who said he would drop me as a patient if i didnt attend meetings or if i dropped dirty. i was miserable....cravings, how can i live the rest of my life without a chemical?.... i relapsed, a few using years later went to rehab, relapsed with the same miserable feelings as before, a few using years later... rehab this time it worked, why? suboxone.... i know i never could have 6 mos clean with out it. why dont you like sub??? tell us what you didnt like about it.
i now enjoy meetings because i feel good as far as no cravings are concerned. it took many years for me to even share and i still have trouble with that, but i am starting to click with alot of the people there, just chaired my first meeting, got a sponsor and started step one, got into a fight with my sponsor and now i am at a stand still as far as stepwork goes. i am praying a new sponsor comes along.
swizzle, i have learned that this recovery thing is not just about quitting pills, there is much homework to do as far as making meetings, getting a sponsor and most importantly, learning a new way of living and thinking which is available thru stepwork.. this is what i see and have learned since going to meetings and listening. i guess our "stinkin thinkin" as they call it is what gets us into trouble, so i am going in as they say" honest,openminded and willing to learn this new way of living. baby steps for me and baby steps for you swizzle.
take up tims suggestions!!!! you have just been thrown a life preserver!!!! jewels/julie
take tim's advice and go to the meeting with him as he offered. what a blessing to be able to have tim to mentor you, i wish so much i could have him for a sponsor.... he offers wonderful experience strength and hope for us here.i know the meeting thing is scary, i went to meetings all alone scared to death! i was forced to go by an addiction counselor who said he would drop me as a patient if i didnt attend meetings or if i dropped dirty. i was miserable....cravings, how can i live the rest of my life without a chemical?.... i relapsed, a few using years later went to rehab, relapsed with the same miserable feelings as before, a few using years later... rehab this time it worked, why? suboxone.... i know i never could have 6 mos clean with out it. why dont you like sub??? tell us what you didnt like about it.
i now enjoy meetings because i feel good as far as no cravings are concerned. it took many years for me to even share and i still have trouble with that, but i am starting to click with alot of the people there, just chaired my first meeting, got a sponsor and started step one, got into a fight with my sponsor and now i am at a stand still as far as stepwork goes. i am praying a new sponsor comes along.
swizzle, i have learned that this recovery thing is not just about quitting pills, there is much homework to do as far as making meetings, getting a sponsor and most importantly, learning a new way of living and thinking which is available thru stepwork.. this is what i see and have learned since going to meetings and listening. i guess our "stinkin thinkin" as they call it is what gets us into trouble, so i am going in as they say" honest,openminded and willing to learn this new way of living. baby steps for me and baby steps for you swizzle.
take up tims suggestions!!!! you have just been thrown a life preserver!!!! jewels/julie
Skeeter I cant really say much except....sweety you fell off(heck huny)we all have at one point.FOGIVE yourself,& know you still mean so much to us.We are here(me in the morning)
Please know you do not need to feel alone as we all care & will help however we can.
With much love
molly
Please know you do not need to feel alone as we all care & will help however we can.
With much love
molly
(((((((((((((((((skeeter)))))))))))))))))))))
i love u.
why dont u call me?
dont be skeered...............
this desease is terrible..........
i am here for u, i really hope you know that..........
edit...........skeeter, i am serious......did u ever get me message?
you helped me, you were the first one to post to me.......
you have a very special place in my heart........
thumper
Skeeter,
Relapse is part of this crummy disease! Don't beat yourself up. You are a incredible person to come here and tell everyone.
I truly believe no one can do this alone. Addicts understand addicts and we are the only ones that can help each other. I understand completly why you don't want to go to meetings. It's really a fear of the unknown. Please listen to Tim and just go to one meeting. Meetings are free and they are 24/7 and have the best track record around. Give it a shot, no one will bite you.
The suboxone will only work if you take it properly. Suboxone isn't a cure. In patient rehab isn't a cure. There isn't a pill or a rehab that will make this all go away.
You're stronger than you think you are. You can beat this!
Catherine
Relapse is part of this crummy disease! Don't beat yourself up. You are a incredible person to come here and tell everyone.
I truly believe no one can do this alone. Addicts understand addicts and we are the only ones that can help each other. I understand completly why you don't want to go to meetings. It's really a fear of the unknown. Please listen to Tim and just go to one meeting. Meetings are free and they are 24/7 and have the best track record around. Give it a shot, no one will bite you.
The suboxone will only work if you take it properly. Suboxone isn't a cure. In patient rehab isn't a cure. There isn't a pill or a rehab that will make this all go away.
You're stronger than you think you are. You can beat this!
Catherine
Skeeter,
I knew there was a reason i looked online today...
Okay, so you turned to pills to make you feel better...old habits die hard..but they DO die...in time..
You say you have done this 3 times ? Have you gotten right back on with your plan after using them??
Listen honey its not ideal, its not what you would have wanted to happen, but its not the end of the world either..this is just part of the journey you are making, part of figuring out just how you can live this life, and feel the bad feelings, and deal with stress, WITHOUT looking for peace or happiness from outside stimuli,,but with using everything you have WITHIN YOU ALREADY..
IMO, if you are immediately correcting the mistake, and dont keep using for months, then it doesnt mean your doing anything wrong so much as you need to journal down things that are happening in your life, how you were feeling when you reached for the pills..
If you TRULY feel your way isnt working...and in your heart you'll know..then look into different things....
Are you on an antidepressant? Could your brain still be short of endorphins, and such from the long time use?? It takes time for the brain to come back to its old self...and many find that GABA based anti-depressants make a huge difference...( DESIPRAMINE (Norpramin) )
Go see your therapist, your Dr, and look into meetings if thats something that appeals TO YOU....Your boyfriend isnt the one going, you are so dont let his opinion sway you...if you think it will help...do it...
ANYTHING you think will help...do it...be rigorous when searching for the triggers that made you reach for the pills again...was it circumstantial,.srroundings ( enviroment ); mental ( feelings that are hard to deal with ) or is there a chance that it could be physical...( chemical imbalance general malaise, no sense of real well being..)
Do you keep a diary??? Writing things down does help figure things out sometimes....
Keep posting here sweetie...you have a lot of people that will support you in any way you need to be supported...
You will ultimately succeed honey....follow your heart...
Hugs
Ali
I knew there was a reason i looked online today...
Okay, so you turned to pills to make you feel better...old habits die hard..but they DO die...in time..
You say you have done this 3 times ? Have you gotten right back on with your plan after using them??
Listen honey its not ideal, its not what you would have wanted to happen, but its not the end of the world either..this is just part of the journey you are making, part of figuring out just how you can live this life, and feel the bad feelings, and deal with stress, WITHOUT looking for peace or happiness from outside stimuli,,but with using everything you have WITHIN YOU ALREADY..
IMO, if you are immediately correcting the mistake, and dont keep using for months, then it doesnt mean your doing anything wrong so much as you need to journal down things that are happening in your life, how you were feeling when you reached for the pills..
If you TRULY feel your way isnt working...and in your heart you'll know..then look into different things....
Are you on an antidepressant? Could your brain still be short of endorphins, and such from the long time use?? It takes time for the brain to come back to its old self...and many find that GABA based anti-depressants make a huge difference...( DESIPRAMINE (Norpramin) )
Go see your therapist, your Dr, and look into meetings if thats something that appeals TO YOU....Your boyfriend isnt the one going, you are so dont let his opinion sway you...if you think it will help...do it...
ANYTHING you think will help...do it...be rigorous when searching for the triggers that made you reach for the pills again...was it circumstantial,.srroundings ( enviroment ); mental ( feelings that are hard to deal with ) or is there a chance that it could be physical...( chemical imbalance general malaise, no sense of real well being..)
Do you keep a diary??? Writing things down does help figure things out sometimes....
Keep posting here sweetie...you have a lot of people that will support you in any way you need to be supported...
You will ultimately succeed honey....follow your heart...
Hugs
Ali
Skeeter, I am sorry this happened, but that's the way it is with all of us. There are several of us here vying for the Queen of Relapse crown, so don't feel alone. It's part of being an addict! If you could just quit, you wouldn't be!
You mentioned you have Sub. Were you on it? Did you w/d from it, and then start back on the PP? Sorry, I don't remember the details. BUT........you know if you flush your PP, wait 24 hours, and then start on the Sub., it will take away the cravings. Even if you just do a short Sub. run, since you said you hate it. I understand hating it, I almost do, too, but it does do the trick.
Regardless of whether you do that or not, going to that meeting is an excellent idea. Especially if you have Tim going with you! That would be great, to have a buddy with you the first time. (VERY nice of you, Tim!). Since you have never been, let me assure you it will be an awesome experience, and one that I bet you will be willing to repeat once you get the first one out of the way.
As for your BF......is he an addict? Do not let him keep you from doing what you need to do for you. This is your life, and only you can save yourself. If he knew more about NA and understood the program, I am sure he would want you to go and beat this thing.
Thanks Carol
Skeeter-I got home later than I thought last night but I did get your e-mail and sent one back with my cell phone number.
I got the schedule for The White Oak Group but it is all AA meetings now.The 8:00pm meeting tonight is CA.They would welcome you.In fact the lady said they have an all womens meeting at 6:30pm on Fridays.She said her daughter was in NA and had 7 years of sobriety.
However,there are over 100 NA meetings a night in the Houston area so we could probably find one near where you lived.I will leave it up to you.You call me when you're ready and I will hook you up.
Also,I know it might be a little uncomfortable because I am a man so I want to reiterate than my only intentions are to lend you an ear by phone or e-mail and meet you at a meeting.There we can get some women to help you.
Good Luck
Skeeter-I got home later than I thought last night but I did get your e-mail and sent one back with my cell phone number.
I got the schedule for The White Oak Group but it is all AA meetings now.The 8:00pm meeting tonight is CA.They would welcome you.In fact the lady said they have an all womens meeting at 6:30pm on Fridays.She said her daughter was in NA and had 7 years of sobriety.
However,there are over 100 NA meetings a night in the Houston area so we could probably find one near where you lived.I will leave it up to you.You call me when you're ready and I will hook you up.
Also,I know it might be a little uncomfortable because I am a man so I want to reiterate than my only intentions are to lend you an ear by phone or e-mail and meet you at a meeting.There we can get some women to help you.
Good Luck
bump for Skeeter.
Check in.
Check in.
hey there-
you guys are just so amazing. what an amazing place.
i feel like i should be reprimanded, I need to be!!!! but yes it is a disease...and i always stay clean for a couple months & then (i think) i get bored. i don't know. we all have issues. i know that.
suboxone - here's my opinion. i went to a doctor last year & he prescribed them to me. i took 2mgs a day. then took half of one the next day. half of that the next day. and was off by day 4 or 5. Basically, I did a quick detox. I still felt tired, chilly, diarrhea-y, extremely depressed & sad, no energy.... but I would say it wasn't as "painful" as cold turkey. my beef with sub is that it's still an opiate, and an EXTREMELY strong one at that. overall, i don't want to be hooked on opiates. period. sub is awesome for what it is, and the miracles it creates for many people, but for me (and those of you who are on sub long-term .. please don't be discouraged by my thoughts - because everyone's body is different) - but for me, i think it just prolongs the inevitable. period. i hate the way it tastes, too. LOL. I dunno, maybe i'm not giving it a fair chance - but it's super strong. and it has such a long half-life - i mean, we're talking days! regardless - i have it available to me - but it's almost my downfall - i should have trashed it when i got clean. that was a mistake.
"the guy i live with" is my boyfriend - but i've mentioned before on this board my situation with him. when i first got clean, i wanted to leave - but people say not to make any drastic changes..so i didn't leave. sigh.
anyway - i f***ed up. period. i should woulda coulda blah blah.
i'm serious - i need meetings, f2f support, the 12 steps, the everything. i don't see myself getting better any other way. period. i have tried it 3 times on my own, and each one failed.
i have dependency issues - like i mentioned earlier ... i'm not even taking 2 at a time or taking them to get high. i'm not high, i don't feel high. it's stupid. i'm sitting here obsessing .. "okay it's been 8 hours since i took one, i can take a half". then "okay it's been 6 hours i can take another half". then "i don't need anymore today, go to sleep, wake up - it'll be 12 hours" blah blah blah over and over and over again... it's actually ridiculous. i feel retarded.
I'm going to step it up this time. become accountable. ditch my way.
and do things the way they work.
i am disappointed. sucks to kick. no more excuses.
thank you so much for being here. i was hoping cowgirl would come kick my a**. ;o( dude.
you guys are just so amazing. what an amazing place.
i feel like i should be reprimanded, I need to be!!!! but yes it is a disease...and i always stay clean for a couple months & then (i think) i get bored. i don't know. we all have issues. i know that.
suboxone - here's my opinion. i went to a doctor last year & he prescribed them to me. i took 2mgs a day. then took half of one the next day. half of that the next day. and was off by day 4 or 5. Basically, I did a quick detox. I still felt tired, chilly, diarrhea-y, extremely depressed & sad, no energy.... but I would say it wasn't as "painful" as cold turkey. my beef with sub is that it's still an opiate, and an EXTREMELY strong one at that. overall, i don't want to be hooked on opiates. period. sub is awesome for what it is, and the miracles it creates for many people, but for me (and those of you who are on sub long-term .. please don't be discouraged by my thoughts - because everyone's body is different) - but for me, i think it just prolongs the inevitable. period. i hate the way it tastes, too. LOL. I dunno, maybe i'm not giving it a fair chance - but it's super strong. and it has such a long half-life - i mean, we're talking days! regardless - i have it available to me - but it's almost my downfall - i should have trashed it when i got clean. that was a mistake.
"the guy i live with" is my boyfriend - but i've mentioned before on this board my situation with him. when i first got clean, i wanted to leave - but people say not to make any drastic changes..so i didn't leave. sigh.
anyway - i f***ed up. period. i should woulda coulda blah blah.
i'm serious - i need meetings, f2f support, the 12 steps, the everything. i don't see myself getting better any other way. period. i have tried it 3 times on my own, and each one failed.
i have dependency issues - like i mentioned earlier ... i'm not even taking 2 at a time or taking them to get high. i'm not high, i don't feel high. it's stupid. i'm sitting here obsessing .. "okay it's been 8 hours since i took one, i can take a half". then "okay it's been 6 hours i can take another half". then "i don't need anymore today, go to sleep, wake up - it'll be 12 hours" blah blah blah over and over and over again... it's actually ridiculous. i feel retarded.
I'm going to step it up this time. become accountable. ditch my way.
and do things the way they work.
i am disappointed. sucks to kick. no more excuses.
thank you so much for being here. i was hoping cowgirl would come kick my a**. ;o( dude.
Hey Skeeter, If you really want to do it different this time, contact Tim and get to that meeting. You truly can not say you have tried to kick if you haven't been to a meeting even once.
"Nothing changes if nothing changes."
I totally understand your position on the Sub., and you are right. It is just another addiction.
BUT....it is controlled, and much safer than those pain pills.
You do what is best for you! But I would strongly recommend the meetings this time.
Good luck!
Skeeter, let go of the guilt. It won't do you any good.
Call Tim and step into the solution.
It took guts to come here but we all understand. I am right beside Carol vying for that crown...lol.
I am glad you understand about sub and switching; it can become just another proglonging of the inevitable.
Sometimes relaspse can teach us some very valuable lessons.....like using just isn't worth the pain/shame/remorse.
Today is a new day. You can do it...flush those pills and call Tim.
Call Tim and step into the solution.
It took guts to come here but we all understand. I am right beside Carol vying for that crown...lol.
I am glad you understand about sub and switching; it can become just another proglonging of the inevitable.
Sometimes relaspse can teach us some very valuable lessons.....like using just isn't worth the pain/shame/remorse.
Today is a new day. You can do it...flush those pills and call Tim.
