I have not got to post much lately. Still buzy with all 3 kids. The day before Easter my cousin and her bf both got some H cut with a Horse steroid both had massive heart attacks. They pulled thru but are still in the hospital on the cardic floor ICU. Docs say they did a lot of damage my cousin is 29 just got out of prison about 7 months ago. She has 4 kids who have JUST been gave back to her. Wondering how this thing is going to affect that arrangment. Poor darn kids their dads in prison now they can't count on him for another 3-5 years for anything. They need her I wish I could say this would wake her up. I KNOW HER she won't stop. My mom had a hard time with her recent cancer surgery. It was pretty gross. She had bowels removed she had colen rectal cancer. She's pooping in a bag for the next 6 weeks. After 6 weeks she has another surgery to reconstruct her butt. I feel bad for her that would be so Hard to deal with. She's a mess she's getting good pain pills she sounds out her mind every time she calls. My brother is in another mental hospital on a 3 day hold. He say's he's real scared he's going to die if he can't get treatment "he gets methadone". In a way I don't get WHY he thinks he can't quit without treatment. I never got treatment except 7 months of methadone. I have done the rehab thing when coke and the drink was my only problem. I know rehab is not a cure i do think people put to much faith in a rehab to get them clean. BOTTOM LINE IS it won't keep you clean that's something you have to do for your self. He's been to rehab he knows what not to do. I told him I support any effort he makes to get sober. I hope a rehab works for him he needs it. In general I think drug treatment canters are over used.
Dear Zero,
That is some really heavy s***. I can't beleive these people will still go out and seek dope even after they have almost DIED. My BF had some H cut with a drug that is used to tranquilize ELEPHANTS. He passed out cold, blue lips, not breathing.....thank God his buddies that were there saw him OD and threw him in a tub with ice. Do you know the sick part???? these same guys went out looking for the same DOPE!! Cos they wanted to get the same "high"!! It really is nuts.
Another thing I wanted to touch on is how painful it is to watch someone with Cancer. My Mom also had Cancer......she had a Colostomy bag too. Her bowels were damaged from too much radiation. It's very upseting and very embarrassing for a women to go through that. My Mom hated the bag. I hope that your Mom trusts in her doctors. Keep in mind how important it is for her to be free of un-necessary stress. You and she must focus on her health. If other family members want to mess with their lives by pumping drugs into their bodies while your Mom is trying to keep her body Cancer free........let them be. She doesn't need to worry about them. Trust me, if my Mom was alive right now, my BF's heroin problem would be the LAST thing on my mind. Concentrate on your Mom and those kids. They are what is important.
Hang in there....things will get better.
Danie
That is some really heavy s***. I can't beleive these people will still go out and seek dope even after they have almost DIED. My BF had some H cut with a drug that is used to tranquilize ELEPHANTS. He passed out cold, blue lips, not breathing.....thank God his buddies that were there saw him OD and threw him in a tub with ice. Do you know the sick part???? these same guys went out looking for the same DOPE!! Cos they wanted to get the same "high"!! It really is nuts.
Another thing I wanted to touch on is how painful it is to watch someone with Cancer. My Mom also had Cancer......she had a Colostomy bag too. Her bowels were damaged from too much radiation. It's very upseting and very embarrassing for a women to go through that. My Mom hated the bag. I hope that your Mom trusts in her doctors. Keep in mind how important it is for her to be free of un-necessary stress. You and she must focus on her health. If other family members want to mess with their lives by pumping drugs into their bodies while your Mom is trying to keep her body Cancer free........let them be. She doesn't need to worry about them. Trust me, if my Mom was alive right now, my BF's heroin problem would be the LAST thing on my mind. Concentrate on your Mom and those kids. They are what is important.
Hang in there....things will get better.
Danie
Danirgrl quote:"I can't beleive these people will still go out and seek dope even after they have almost DIED." my responce, I can & it's not that shocking acually. Just The way it works.... the nature of the beast. I still did it while in the hospital not knowing if they were going to cut my arm off from a infection. My only thoughts were how i'ld figure out how to shoot up with one hand.
Yeah it sucks to watch mom suffer. She's not even old she's only 49. Besides the cancer i'm watching her get addicted to the meds. She's a recovering alcoholic. I know in my head she needs pain pills "oxycottin" but, it's crappy to watch her slur and nod. I see her getting disconnected.
The cousin has went into surgery to have stints put in her heart. All this drama just brings me down. I'm getting sick of death, funerals and surgery.
Danirgrl thanks 4 the responce. People who are not addicts would not "get" the way addiction works. Nothing about it makes logical sense to the non user.
Yeah it sucks to watch mom suffer. She's not even old she's only 49. Besides the cancer i'm watching her get addicted to the meds. She's a recovering alcoholic. I know in my head she needs pain pills "oxycottin" but, it's crappy to watch her slur and nod. I see her getting disconnected.
The cousin has went into surgery to have stints put in her heart. All this drama just brings me down. I'm getting sick of death, funerals and surgery.
Danirgrl thanks 4 the responce. People who are not addicts would not "get" the way addiction works. Nothing about it makes logical sense to the non user.
Man, ZG I am so sorry.......I didn't know you had all that going on......I knew your mom was really sick, but didn't know they were going to do all that to her.
I am so, so sorry........WOW, how you said too she's slurring and all.....I mean is that almost weird......that YOU are seeing that.........I'm sorry.
Ya know I always want to ask how your brother is.......then ya seem O.K.....ya have the kids keeping you so busy.......I figure let ya have a moment of peace from all that.......I apologize too as I should know better.......being a da*n addict.
How many people just don't ask???????? Right?
Hereing ya on the rehab deal........we all did it and been there and know the "tools" and ultimately it's all on US......so ya can what rest easy for 3 lousy days from worrying about him........meanwhile with the kids and the baby and your mom and your COUSIN?????????
Yeah, Danie she told ya right......we'd see a toe tag and ask where they copped.......true.......what we didn't do........I'm sorry about your cousin.....and the kids.......uggghhhhh......right how's that gonna go now........dope just so sucks........haven't heard of any of that in our city.......only one time they cut with that Scallo something or other.......before I did dope and I too remember on the news the cops had to go in abandoned houses........looking for bodies and still these people were right on TV saying.....Oh yeah we still need our heroin.
I couldn't fathom back then.......just like Danie.
Catch ya, ZG........again I am so sorry.......I admire you so much.......you're strong.........man, you took that life and turned it completely around......strong as s*it........and ya got your man and the kids........you're held in high esteem here, babes.......I can tell ya that.........you're an excellent mom, wife, daughter and sister.........something good gotta be coming up.
I am so, so sorry........WOW, how you said too she's slurring and all.....I mean is that almost weird......that YOU are seeing that.........I'm sorry.
Ya know I always want to ask how your brother is.......then ya seem O.K.....ya have the kids keeping you so busy.......I figure let ya have a moment of peace from all that.......I apologize too as I should know better.......being a da*n addict.
How many people just don't ask???????? Right?
Hereing ya on the rehab deal........we all did it and been there and know the "tools" and ultimately it's all on US......so ya can what rest easy for 3 lousy days from worrying about him........meanwhile with the kids and the baby and your mom and your COUSIN?????????
Yeah, Danie she told ya right......we'd see a toe tag and ask where they copped.......true.......what we didn't do........I'm sorry about your cousin.....and the kids.......uggghhhhh......right how's that gonna go now........dope just so sucks........haven't heard of any of that in our city.......only one time they cut with that Scallo something or other.......before I did dope and I too remember on the news the cops had to go in abandoned houses........looking for bodies and still these people were right on TV saying.....Oh yeah we still need our heroin.
I couldn't fathom back then.......just like Danie.
Catch ya, ZG........again I am so sorry.......I admire you so much.......you're strong.........man, you took that life and turned it completely around......strong as s*it........and ya got your man and the kids........you're held in high esteem here, babes.......I can tell ya that.........you're an excellent mom, wife, daughter and sister.........something good gotta be coming up.
Hi there Z-G, thanks for checking in. You got a lot of stuff going down there. But as long as you are keeping sane in the midst of the madness, that's the main thing. Your man come home from his trip yet? They don't realise you can go insane stuck in with the kids without another adult to keep you on the level!
And as for not understanding why someone would almost die and then just carry on, Z-G you got it right. It's what addicts do, it's just the way it is. A friend of mine went over on me a few years back. It was me who'd just injected her coz she couldn't find a vein. I did CPR on her for nearly 20 mins before the paramedics arrived, and she took a breath just as they were walking through the door. I went with her to the hospital. She turned down the Naloxone, spent 5 mins on oxygen and discharged herself. Then we went took the 200 mile round trip across the bridge to England to score the gear that was our livelihood. She died about a year later. She was 18 when she died. No happy endings there... I'm so glad that s*** ain't a part of my life any more. You have to go out and secure your own happy endings in this game...
love
Diff xxx
And as for not understanding why someone would almost die and then just carry on, Z-G you got it right. It's what addicts do, it's just the way it is. A friend of mine went over on me a few years back. It was me who'd just injected her coz she couldn't find a vein. I did CPR on her for nearly 20 mins before the paramedics arrived, and she took a breath just as they were walking through the door. I went with her to the hospital. She turned down the Naloxone, spent 5 mins on oxygen and discharged herself. Then we went took the 200 mile round trip across the bridge to England to score the gear that was our livelihood. She died about a year later. She was 18 when she died. No happy endings there... I'm so glad that s*** ain't a part of my life any more. You have to go out and secure your own happy endings in this game...
love
Diff xxx
THANKS everyone 4 the replys it means a lot to be able to get support. Belive it or not in real life i don't tell people about how I feel or what's going on. It's always been easier for me to write down stuff.
Mom was transported back to the hospital and admitted last night. They say she has some kind of blockage. Rob's friends mom passed away a few days ago. She had bone cancer. He went to her funeral yesterday. Made me think a lot about if my mom died. I'm "not" super close to my mom she's made a lot of stupid choices "who has'nt"?. I can always count on her to be on my side. I hope she pulls thru this thing. When I was younger my grandmother told me no one needs to live forever it would be to hard to bury everyone you knew. Damn i've seen a lot of people go i'm only 29 by the time i'm 60 i'll be ready to check out granny was right. When it rains it pours.... don't it?
Mom was transported back to the hospital and admitted last night. They say she has some kind of blockage. Rob's friends mom passed away a few days ago. She had bone cancer. He went to her funeral yesterday. Made me think a lot about if my mom died. I'm "not" super close to my mom she's made a lot of stupid choices "who has'nt"?. I can always count on her to be on my side. I hope she pulls thru this thing. When I was younger my grandmother told me no one needs to live forever it would be to hard to bury everyone you knew. Damn i've seen a lot of people go i'm only 29 by the time i'm 60 i'll be ready to check out granny was right. When it rains it pours.... don't it?
Pours? You got a monsoon going on.
I'm sorry about your mom, ZG.......back at the hospital.
Good saying by your Grandmom........that's wise.......she was right.
I'm sorry about your mom, ZG.......back at the hospital.
Good saying by your Grandmom........that's wise.......she was right.
