So i'm sure this has been talked about numerous times on this board (and i'm new here), but I figured it would be a good idea to get what i'm thinking out and have people to talk to about it.
I've been using heroin for about 5 years now... every other day or every day. I'm trying to finally quit because I just don't have the money anymore to supply a habit, and at the same time deep down inside, I know I want to quit... I've just kind of quieted that voice for awhile.
I'm in day four of withdrawals, I'm still having some physical symptoms, but all in all, I feel better mentally... I know I won't always have days like this- but it was nice to get up today and actually clean my apartment... (which hasn't been done in quite some time).
I guess my issues are, when my boyfriend gets paid this week, trying to resist going out and buying stuff. It's hard living with someone who is also an addict, because when he's up, i'm down, and vice versa, and we feed into each others moods. There are a lot of issues in our relationship, starting with the fact that he's the one who got me hooked on drugs. But I also feel guilt in not being there for him and supporting him, because when he overdosed in the past, I called 911 and he got a charge that will affect the rest of his life. I also am going to miss the confidence and happiness I felt while being high... it was like, this is what normal people feel like! There are just a lot of things in my life right now that I don't want to face, and by being sober I'm going to be reminded of them. Sorry for the sob story!
Hi Elsie welcome! Im glad you are trying to make a change in your life. This will be hard and 4 days is amazing. I can understand the conflict of payday. Is there someone you trust to keep the money for you? Do you have a support group like NA? Meetings are free and really helpful face to face interaction with other addicts who can relate to how you feel. You will have to want to be clean more then you are willing to be sick. You must go to any length possiable to do this. Keep posting and letting us know how your doing it. Hugs
Jessica
Jessica
