My best friend of 25 years has been battling cancer for the last few years ,she was 36.
She died tonight.
I spoke to her mother -in-law this evening trying to see if I could get an update on her condition, maybe even talk to her if she was feeling up to it.
Thats when she told me she had passed.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to numb these feelings. Many people would say that this "would be one of those reasons it would be ok to drink".
But thank God I have the program. I need to feel this no matter how bad it feels. Because when you can feel the pain as it happens...you are dealing with it, and walking through the pain and emerging through to the other side of it, is how we get better.
Anyway, If I did drink over this...I'm sure she would find some way to reach beyond the grave and SMACK me :).She was so happy I had gotten into AA...she thought I was a much nicer person sober.
I am sad that I lost my friend...but so relieved that she is at peace with God and not in pain anymore....she was in such pain.
Please keep her family in your thoughts and prayers. Her husband is one of us ....struggling badly with alcoholism...I pray he has the strength to get through this.
I will be leaving either Sun. or Mon for the funeral.
love,
C
Dear "C", I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. She was too young, and I know it must hurt a lot. You're absolutely right, she'd "smack" you if you drank because of this. I am the mother of a recovering Alcoholic/meth addict. If I died tomorrow, I'd die happy cause my daughter is sober. You stay strong and come here and write out your feelings as you go through your grief. I will pray for her husband also. luv corrinne
Hey Avondale Girl:) my love and energy to you at this time. I'm positive your friend will send you a message on your way to the funeral and it will be to do with fun and laughter and remind you of a moment shared with her. You are right she would want you to live on and feel everything sober. And by being sober you can be there for her family as well. As you said she is at peace now and when she is settled back into the spirit realm she can watch over the ones she loves. Again and i know i say this often each letter i type in these instances is filled with light and love and hugs from me to you (no it's not a barney song)LOL keep smiling your beautiful smile:)
I lost a friend 2 years ago and he was only 38 with a wife and 2 kids and yes it hits hard and being sober i can help his wife so much more but if i was drinking i would only be interested in her in other ways (i have no morals when i am drunk).
Take care AG and remember all your emotions will be at the surface these next few weeks allow them to flow as you say. Some people may still only know you as a drinker at the funeral so do what you normally do and walk with your sobriety and god keeping you warm and of course your smile:)
Light and love Zac
I lost a friend 2 years ago and he was only 38 with a wife and 2 kids and yes it hits hard and being sober i can help his wife so much more but if i was drinking i would only be interested in her in other ways (i have no morals when i am drunk).
Take care AG and remember all your emotions will be at the surface these next few weeks allow them to flow as you say. Some people may still only know you as a drinker at the funeral so do what you normally do and walk with your sobriety and god keeping you warm and of course your smile:)
Light and love Zac
God Bless you both for your kind, supportive words.
I'm hopping on a plane tomorrow afternoon. My fiance wanted me to take a low dosage of a xanax to help me sleep and to calm me down.
He means well ...but he is not in AA....he's sober, but not working the 12 steps.
I told him" thank you but no". I have a feeling this won't be the first offer I get for 'a little something for the pain"this week.
With God's help, I'll manage.
Carolyn
I'm hopping on a plane tomorrow afternoon. My fiance wanted me to take a low dosage of a xanax to help me sleep and to calm me down.
He means well ...but he is not in AA....he's sober, but not working the 12 steps.
I told him" thank you but no". I have a feeling this won't be the first offer I get for 'a little something for the pain"this week.
With God's help, I'll manage.
Carolyn
Avondale Girl, Sorry to hear of your loss,
Its sad when some one so young passes away,
Thinking of you,
Keep strong,
Take care Ginge
Its sad when some one so young passes away,
Thinking of you,
Keep strong,
Take care Ginge
AG, So sorry to hear about your friend. I have gone through some ups and downs in my short two plus years of sobriety, but not the death of a close loved one. People that I've met on the Program have died, either because it was their time or they OD'd or took their own lives....and that is painful too, I'm just not as close to the situation. However, for me, it helps me to build a strong foundation to draw from each time I go through a painful process. I believe for you, since you are on the Program, this will be a message you can bring to others that we just stay sober no matter what Because someone most likely will have a very similiar situation that you come in contact with on the Program and you can share your experience, strength and hope with them as it pertains to this...have a safe trip. Feel free to send me an email if you'd like to chat off the boards.
OMG Carolyn,
I am so sorry to hear about your friend! I can't even imagine how that must feel. I haven't really lost anyone real close to me before so I don't have any great words of wisdom for you. You are doing great by staying sober and I just know that your friend will always be near you. I will keep her family and you in my prayers through this horrible time! Keep posting and keep strong my friend!
I am so sorry to hear about your friend! I can't even imagine how that must feel. I haven't really lost anyone real close to me before so I don't have any great words of wisdom for you. You are doing great by staying sober and I just know that your friend will always be near you. I will keep her family and you in my prayers through this horrible time! Keep posting and keep strong my friend!
I'm sorry for your loss. I lost a friend when I was about 7 months sober. I met her in AA but she couldn't stay sober and died from alcohol withdrawal. She was 42. It's hard facing a death but drinking wouldn't solve anything. All it would give you is guilt and remorse. Congratulations for getting thru this sober. It's hard but it would be harder drunk.
xxoo
xxoo
C, I'm so sorry about your friend... I know too well the pain of losing a loved one too soon... my oldest brother died of colon cancer 9 years ago at the age of 37, and I'll never forget the pain he was in, as well as the effect losing him had on me and my family. That was actually when I first started using alcohol and drugs to self medicate. Even after 9 years I miss him as much as ever. But part of me knows he's still out there in the universe, and there are times I feel his presence around me very strongly... I am sure it will be the same with your friend, she is still there and you will feel her presence. Condolences again, and good job to you for staying strong and not letting her passing tempt you away from your sobriety... my thoughts are with you and your friend's family also...
Dear AG, Iam so sorry to hear of your loss, death is never an easy thing to deal with, and even harder when we have an addiction, that is when we are at our weakest moments, I'll be praying for you,and your friends family.
God Bless,
LD xoxo
God Bless,
LD xoxo
Hi AG.
Its sad to hear about your friend. I have also lost Family and friends through cancer, suicide, and accidents. And most of them where alive to see me sober and like your friend they were happy to see me that way.
Being sober has been away of me making amends to some and thanking them for there prayers for me that I would get sober even in their illness. And I know there is nothing that is bad enough or sad enough that will happen to me today that will make me pick up alcohol or drugs that will only happen if I set myself up or do it.
Have a safe journey. My thoughts and prayers are with you; youre friend and her family.
God Bless.
Lionel
Its sad to hear about your friend. I have also lost Family and friends through cancer, suicide, and accidents. And most of them where alive to see me sober and like your friend they were happy to see me that way.
Being sober has been away of me making amends to some and thanking them for there prayers for me that I would get sober even in their illness. And I know there is nothing that is bad enough or sad enough that will happen to me today that will make me pick up alcohol or drugs that will only happen if I set myself up or do it.
Have a safe journey. My thoughts and prayers are with you; youre friend and her family.
God Bless.
Lionel
