Hi all,
Just asking for your thoughts....I'm going through detox from methadone myself and working on me. However to do this I had to leave my boyfriend of 5 years. I feel guilty as hell. Since the time we met he always drank...alot...i joined him...didnt think it was a problem. He's gotten 4 DUI's and didnt go to court for 3 of them, ended up in jail. He's never really worked, i've always paid the bills, he's lied and cheated on me twice (that I know of) Anyways, when I left him last week (he begged me to stay) he is in a mandatory outpatient treatment, he's on a state funded program. I just turned off the phone and cable that was in my name and called the landlord to tell him I wanted my name off the lease. Even thought he's not been the best partner in the past 5 years I still feel guilty. Did I do the right thing? Will this help him to get help?
Hurting-
hurting, you are doing the right thing for you and for him. it may well help him to get help.
Thx Bob...I sure hope so. I still blame all the crap he's done on the alcohol. my family tells me i need to blame him not the alcohol.
the alcohol is simply a benign substance. it's what he chose to do with the alcohol and what he choses to do with the alcohol that makes the difference.
Hi girl, I bet you didn't think you'd see me posting down here (I normally talk to this lady on the heroin board)! I sometimes read the posts here coz my ex is also a drinker. You have to be prepared for him to get worse before or if he gets better. Since splitting with my b/f he's got worse, but the difference is I won't be around to see it any more, and it's his life. That's what you have to remember my dear. It's his life to f*** up if he so chooses. I've realised there's nothing I can do. I've tried going on at him, but even I get tired of my continual complaining in his direction. The only thing you can do is leave him to it. Don't feel guilty. Like me, you got your own s*** to sort out, and you can't be dealing with his s*** at the same time. Give yourself a break, OK babe?
love
diff
xox
love
diff
xox
hi there, you definitely have done the right thing, i have been very vocal about my ex in my posts and his drinking and believe me i speak from the heart that you have done the right thing, as long as he is drinking or drugging it will only pull you down, i had such high hopes for my ex, got out off prison for the third time ready to start a fresh life and within months he is homeless, completly his choice. he states how he loves to drink even though he throws up blood, i believe he is in a into criminality again also. prison, programs, nothing has helped him and he is 40 and i have to face the reality that he may not make it, since i am in recovery for a pill addiction, it is necessary to detach completly at this time. you have to take care of your life and break away from the misery this lifestyle brings. i was right in the middle of the drama and although i do hope he is ok , he has to make the choice, whether he wants to live or die.
take care
carol
take care
carol
