Oh I see.I know myself & I know I could NEVER have that here within reach.Though Im on Sub & stuff I know how I can get thats why if ever(so far not)need anything more than the Sub for pain control I have safety measures in place.Like my mom lives down the street from me & Id give them to her so there not here.
I learned the hard way after my last surgery.In recovery I tried so hard NOT to take the morphine because I knew it would open a flood gate,but the pain was for me WAY too much.So ok fine I thought I needed it,Then I let the Dr give me a script for Ultram thinking...well Im stronger now/....LOL yeah right!
I ended up relapsing BIG TIME & basically went on a major drug binge.Thankfully I had friends & support where I pulled myself together & I learned a valuable lesson about PPs & myself....
I knew addiction was a life long battle & Ill be fighting it until my dying day,but like a fool I talked myself into thinking...Oh I got the Sub,Im stronger now yada yada yada...I paid a price but like I said I dont regret it ONLY because I learned from it
molly
Tim, you posted: "Going to my meeting and seeking everyones permission to take the meds, which I got.I'm a consumate actor."
That's dead on. I can't say that I ever did that -- I went straight to non-disclosure. lol But I've said before that I think that often happens on this Board, i.e., describing "unbearable" pain symptoms to get others permission -- even encouragement -- to use pain meds. It's impossible to distinguish real from exaggerated descriptions -- we're not ominiscient. It's also dangerous to try to do so, I've found. So I guess it's a "Be true to yourself" kind of thing.
This is what I know about myself: I I'd already obtained, then filled, a 100-ic script on my own, it would be all over but the crying. My addict brain would already be off and running. I agree with Tim that the only way I can take pain meds in a controlled manner is if someone else was dispensing them, and even then only for a very short period of time. It's the nature of my addiction. I've challenged that truth repeatedly, and repeatedly failed . . . sometiomes slowly, sometimes quickly, but always failed.
That's dead on. I can't say that I ever did that -- I went straight to non-disclosure. lol But I've said before that I think that often happens on this Board, i.e., describing "unbearable" pain symptoms to get others permission -- even encouragement -- to use pain meds. It's impossible to distinguish real from exaggerated descriptions -- we're not ominiscient. It's also dangerous to try to do so, I've found. So I guess it's a "Be true to yourself" kind of thing.
This is what I know about myself: I I'd already obtained, then filled, a 100-ic script on my own, it would be all over but the crying. My addict brain would already be off and running. I agree with Tim that the only way I can take pain meds in a controlled manner is if someone else was dispensing them, and even then only for a very short period of time. It's the nature of my addiction. I've challenged that truth repeatedly, and repeatedly failed . . . sometiomes slowly, sometimes quickly, but always failed.
OMG If I had 100 vics in my hot little hands it would be, of course I will only take them as prescribed, then, I think I better take two because I hurt a little extra today, then, oh my, those two didn't quite take the pain away, I better take 2 more. Then, oh dear, it's only been 10 minutes but I think my pain will be worse in an hour so I better take 4. And let's not forget, I have to go to the store and I certainly don't want to hurt then so I better pop 5 or so to get me thru. And the circle begins. But...that's just me.
posted by None4Me
Ah yes, I also did that. I graduated summa cumm laude from the "Gollem School of Life Management...."
I sneakses .......
I also ended up curiously looking somewhat like him......
I did not want to lose my Precioussssssssss
| QUOTE |
I can't say that I ever did that -- I went straight to non-disclosure. |
Ah yes, I also did that. I graduated summa cumm laude from the "Gollem School of Life Management...."
I sneakses .......
I also ended up curiously looking somewhat like him......
I did not want to lose my Precioussssssssss
Let's face it folks.We had to be good con artist to be drug addicts.I did it for so many years the truth was an esoteric concept.
I still find myself lying.The only difference is today I can't live with it and be comfortable.I'm grateful to have people in my life that will call me on my BS.I may get pissed but I can swallow my pride......after a couple of hours.LOL
I love this line by Kid Rock.
"I was born at night,but not last night baby."
I still find myself lying.The only difference is today I can't live with it and be comfortable.I'm grateful to have people in my life that will call me on my BS.I may get pissed but I can swallow my pride......after a couple of hours.LOL
I love this line by Kid Rock.
"I was born at night,but not last night baby."
| QUOTE |
| I'm grateful to have people in my life that will call me on my BS.I may get pissed but I can swallow my pride......after a couple of hours.LOL |
I hear ya...and that is why God put Kat in my life...I maybe able to pull off the I'm okay with some people but that woman sure can read through the lines...oh, and also has no problem telling me the truth and there are times when it is painful but I have to hear it if I want to keep what I have....lol....and sometimes it takes a bit more than a couple of hours <smile>...
MJ...just to clarify, you were not handed 100 vicoden. Your dr knows you are an addict. Your family knows you are an addict. You had accountiblity. A little different story there. You're comparing apples to oranges. Of course people should take pain meds for severe pain. No one, not even an addict should suffer. My own case in point. However, addicts don't have the luxurery of ever being able to decide this for ourselves or by ourselves. Unless we are totally honest with those around us, we're screwed. If an addict is telling you that they only took one pill out of 100 and no one knows that person is an addict and has no accountablity, that addict is lying. You know it and I know it. It just doesn't work that way. It's not the addicts fault, it's the disease and I have nothing but compassion for that person.
There are alot of people here, addicts who've been there, suggest flushing pills when you can't be trusted with them. There are other options, like telling the truth, then give the pills to someone else and ask the dr for 10.
Have a great day
Lisa
PS...Tim, I couldn't agree more.
There are alot of people here, addicts who've been there, suggest flushing pills when you can't be trusted with them. There are other options, like telling the truth, then give the pills to someone else and ask the dr for 10.
Have a great day
Lisa
PS...Tim, I couldn't agree more.
Another reason I didn't want to be accountable is that when I relapsed on my pain medication,I could always blame the doctor for giving them to me.
When we make ourselves accountable,relapse just becomes harder.
When we make ourselves accountable,relapse just becomes harder.
Look Lisa Im AM NOT going back & forth on this.If you read what I wrote I wrote
Stay Accountable & have someone hold then for you.
Nice to see your feeling better.Now as far as Im concerned I said what I felt was right You said what you felt.
Cant we please keep this post on Gina?
Please reread what I wrote & Im sure youll see what I said was the right thing.
Have a good day & rest Im sure you have alot of hoilday things comming up youll need to deal with
take carew
mj
Stay Accountable & have someone hold then for you.
Nice to see your feeling better.Now as far as Im concerned I said what I felt was right You said what you felt.
Cant we please keep this post on Gina?
Please reread what I wrote & Im sure youll see what I said was the right thing.
Have a good day & rest Im sure you have alot of hoilday things comming up youll need to deal with
take carew
mj
People keep bringing up the point that Gina has 100 Vicodin...
All I have read in this post is that she was in pain and took 1
pill for relief...
Doug
All I have read in this post is that she was in pain and took 1
pill for relief...
Doug
And the point for having 100 Vicodin in the house if she only needs a few is.....
It would be no different than an alcoholic whose favorite liquor was brandy having some of the finest cognac around. No point. It doesn't matter whether there is a "medical overlay " on top or not. This is unwise behavior. Not to mention not telling one's doctor about any addiction history.
Or even throwing the remaining out when done. Forget the "just in case". The just in case is...for...as much emotional pain as physical.
Would we think it OK for a cocaine addict having coke around? (Coke is used as a topical anesthetic in dental work). Proooobably not.
But hey, if there will be a problem, there will be, if not, not. But one will not be able to say, "How did that happen?" They will know very well how it happened. To admit that though, painful.....very painful.
It would be no different than an alcoholic whose favorite liquor was brandy having some of the finest cognac around. No point. It doesn't matter whether there is a "medical overlay " on top or not. This is unwise behavior. Not to mention not telling one's doctor about any addiction history.
Or even throwing the remaining out when done. Forget the "just in case". The just in case is...for...as much emotional pain as physical.
Would we think it OK for a cocaine addict having coke around? (Coke is used as a topical anesthetic in dental work). Proooobably not.
But hey, if there will be a problem, there will be, if not, not. But one will not be able to say, "How did that happen?" They will know very well how it happened. To admit that though, painful.....very painful.
100 vicoden in the house of an addict is pure stupidity unless they are dying. If a spouse or loved one, who knows the situation, is in charge of meds and caring for that person, you've got a fighting chance of doing it right. Telling the dr in the first place probably would have elimanted it to begin with.
What's done is done. She gave the meds to her husband, she takes them for legit pain, she's not doing anything wrong. I'm so relieved to hear that you are recovering Gina. Hopefully you'll feel more comfortable telling your dr the truth in the future so that you don't jepordize your recovery.
What's done is done. She gave the meds to her husband, she takes them for legit pain, she's not doing anything wrong. I'm so relieved to hear that you are recovering Gina. Hopefully you'll feel more comfortable telling your dr the truth in the future so that you don't jepordize your recovery.
So as you can see Lisa what I said was the right thing.
And THANK you for bring this post BACK to Gina as I feel she needs support not silly bantering
Peace
molly
And THANK you for bring this post BACK to Gina as I feel she needs support not silly bantering
Peace
molly
I'm glad you feel so validated.
Lisa YGM I told you I am NOT doing this here NOW PLEASE respect this board & the membbers PLEASE
molly
molly
No disrespect, but you need to do the same MJ....
The bait & hook game is getting old on this board and it is a difficult time for those using or early in recovery so it for me, if I don't have something nice to say to people, I have to walk away and remember, the most important person here is the newcomer and not my ego....
Thanks for letting me share....
Stacey
The bait & hook game is getting old on this board and it is a difficult time for those using or early in recovery so it for me, if I don't have something nice to say to people, I have to walk away and remember, the most important person here is the newcomer and not my ego....
Thanks for letting me share....
Stacey
Stacey Look Ive written more than oneletter to her.Im sick of this
Nevermind
Believe me I realize Im no angel but Im so tired of her games Im done
Ya know what Stacey I have no beef with you & Ive said I was sorry more than once to this board...Has she?She doesnt even have the respect for this board to take it to email like Ive asked
Im done & thank you Stacey I hope your hoilday is a good one
\I happen to be one of those that NEED the support at this time of year & everyone Ive ever touched or reach counts for nothing,
If she had any respect shed do this through email as Ive asked over & over.
Ive had her unblocked for weeks now...Ya know what?It doesnt freakin matter Ive tried,Ive said I was sorry & it means NOTHING
Nevermind
Believe me I realize Im no angel but Im so tired of her games Im done
Ya know what Stacey I have no beef with you & Ive said I was sorry more than once to this board...Has she?She doesnt even have the respect for this board to take it to email like Ive asked
Im done & thank you Stacey I hope your hoilday is a good one
\I happen to be one of those that NEED the support at this time of year & everyone Ive ever touched or reach counts for nothing,
If she had any respect shed do this through email as Ive asked over & over.
Ive had her unblocked for weeks now...Ya know what?It doesnt freakin matter Ive tried,Ive said I was sorry & it means NOTHING
the bait and hook is getting old, Stacey. Tell your friend to knock it off.
