Gidday Everyone
I have found lately that when i am out doing things on my to do list for the day, that as soon as i go into my mind negatively and allow the bulls#it to take over, i am forgetting to do jobs, ring people, complete tasks and not remembering if i shut gates or locked doors etc, etc
I can spend an enormous amount of time preplanning my existance or outcomes instead of just getting on with life one day at a time and 10 times out of 10 if i just get on with things they work out.
I was brought up to see the negative in everything and everyone and i can fall back into that modus operatus real easy if i allow the negative thinking head space and worry time.
Every time i am doing this lately i am trying to remember what the negative is that is absorbing my mind and it is usually resentment, fear, desire each time these come up i am asking for gods help and handing it over which in a day can be guite a few times as i tend to grab things back now and again.
The thing is if i allow this negativety to stay with me i wont drink on it BUT my wife and kids will usually suffer for it by me doing what i do best when in a negative frame and hurting the people i know i can hurt easily.
This is why i love recovery because i dont have to drink over it, i just have to hand over it to god and believe in his wisdom and have faith in his process.
Gratitude, gratitude and more gratitude every day i am sober is a miracle.
light and love zac
Hey Zac.
Free will's a b****, ain't it?
I was sitting in the meeting yesterday, silently judging the next sharer, not really listening 'cause I had something else on my mind, and some biker-dude said something to the effect of, "I gotta keep it simple or I'll get all over myself. As long as I remember to say 'Please' in the morning and 'Thank-you' at night, I can keep life in front of me."
Well. Damn.
Free will's a b****, ain't it?
I was sitting in the meeting yesterday, silently judging the next sharer, not really listening 'cause I had something else on my mind, and some biker-dude said something to the effect of, "I gotta keep it simple or I'll get all over myself. As long as I remember to say 'Please' in the morning and 'Thank-you' at night, I can keep life in front of me."
Well. Damn.
Hey, thanks Zac, your post reminded me to make a phonecall I had forgotten to make cos I was so busy entertaining myself in my own head!!
Hi everybody & thanks for the topic, Zac...
Letting go has become one of the biggest freedoms I have found in recovery. I try to hand it all over to God in the morning to take so it free's me up to do his will, not mine during the day and when I stay on track and don't try to run the show, manipulate things that I don't like or don't go my way, when I don't plan the results and just step back and let things happen, things always turn out way better than I could have planned....but, I am an alcoholic and there are days when I take back the reins and things start just going to crap and I start to get that irritable, discontent feeling going on, most of the time, I can stop and realize where I took the wrong turn, pray to my HP, God to take it over again and start my day all over....
I have learned that not only do I have to let go of my thinking, I have to also let go of the people around me and let them live their lives and walk their journeys, let them find their HP and in doing this, it free's me to work on myself....
Gratitude is an action word....I try to remember to always keep gratitude in my heart and no matter what, to practice gratitude in every day...I love when I am connected with God, feeling that connection and living in the NOW...it's better than any drink or drug out there....
Thanks for the topic, again....I needed this one right now...that's another way my HP works in my life...when I am open, willing and teachable, things are put right in front of me....
Enjoy your day, all!!!
xoxo
Stacey
Letting go has become one of the biggest freedoms I have found in recovery. I try to hand it all over to God in the morning to take so it free's me up to do his will, not mine during the day and when I stay on track and don't try to run the show, manipulate things that I don't like or don't go my way, when I don't plan the results and just step back and let things happen, things always turn out way better than I could have planned....but, I am an alcoholic and there are days when I take back the reins and things start just going to crap and I start to get that irritable, discontent feeling going on, most of the time, I can stop and realize where I took the wrong turn, pray to my HP, God to take it over again and start my day all over....
I have learned that not only do I have to let go of my thinking, I have to also let go of the people around me and let them live their lives and walk their journeys, let them find their HP and in doing this, it free's me to work on myself....
Gratitude is an action word....I try to remember to always keep gratitude in my heart and no matter what, to practice gratitude in every day...I love when I am connected with God, feeling that connection and living in the NOW...it's better than any drink or drug out there....
Thanks for the topic, again....I needed this one right now...that's another way my HP works in my life...when I am open, willing and teachable, things are put right in front of me....
Enjoy your day, all!!!
xoxo
Stacey
Ah, letting go absolutely, trusting the process, third step prayer, seventh step prayer....my day goes so much better when I get out of my own way....my Sponsor reminds me to do that often, because I have a tendency to forget! Can anyone relate to that? LOL!
Gidday everyone and thanks for the replies
Isnt it great how once you post something on the boards or talk to someone about a topic, well the next time i found myself straying into my negative or fantasy mind i stopped myself from going further into the negative daydream and instead of realizing id missed the turnoff like i usually do i actual got my list done plus some and my wife is away on buisness again so me and the kids are surviving fine and i was only mr grumpy once, it works if i work at it.
Hey Skg is that my free will or gods free will as you see i get a bit confused and sometimes i can talk myself into a storm of sh#t by stretching the boundaries of free will that exist in my mind sometimes.
gods will for me and because i dont know what that is, thats what makes recovery even better.
Stace gratitude is my saviour or if you like my higher power comfy that i can carry around with me and store for the days when the mind goes insane, totally off the subject but why is it insane?.....sane.....insane.... shouldnt it be outsane, just goes to show if i say some words or things in my mind long enough they can get all stuffed up.....again my mind flips to a scene from blackadder and the dude was in a dungeon and he was called mad gerald, you have to see the skit to understand why i liked his insanity.....
Humour and gratitude thanks for the monty python clip Skg.
Sometimes i actually laugh at how stupid my mind thinks at times like putting the cofee into the sugar bowl instead of the cup and thank christ i dont do the ironing.
Thanks everyone for being there for this alky and i find myself thinking of you all often as i see little keys during the day that remind me of each of you.
light and love zac
Isnt it great how once you post something on the boards or talk to someone about a topic, well the next time i found myself straying into my negative or fantasy mind i stopped myself from going further into the negative daydream and instead of realizing id missed the turnoff like i usually do i actual got my list done plus some and my wife is away on buisness again so me and the kids are surviving fine and i was only mr grumpy once, it works if i work at it.
Hey Skg is that my free will or gods free will as you see i get a bit confused and sometimes i can talk myself into a storm of sh#t by stretching the boundaries of free will that exist in my mind sometimes.
gods will for me and because i dont know what that is, thats what makes recovery even better.
Stace gratitude is my saviour or if you like my higher power comfy that i can carry around with me and store for the days when the mind goes insane, totally off the subject but why is it insane?.....sane.....insane.... shouldnt it be outsane, just goes to show if i say some words or things in my mind long enough they can get all stuffed up.....again my mind flips to a scene from blackadder and the dude was in a dungeon and he was called mad gerald, you have to see the skit to understand why i liked his insanity.....
Humour and gratitude thanks for the monty python clip Skg.
Sometimes i actually laugh at how stupid my mind thinks at times like putting the cofee into the sugar bowl instead of the cup and thank christ i dont do the ironing.
Thanks everyone for being there for this alky and i find myself thinking of you all often as i see little keys during the day that remind me of each of you.
light and love zac
Zac, how I can relate to your post and the way you describe your thinking...I also can relate to the coffee thing....thanks so much for being there for me, this past year, while I was going through my sh*%.
Geri
Geri
I re-read this today 'cause I'm getting a bit wobbly again--haven't been to any meetings since Friday and, while I've been getting along okay, I'm just not as SPIRITUALLY grounded as I've found I need to be. I MISS the calm that is serenity for me and I find myself getting very anxious about things--silly things that really have no bearing on me, but that somehow I bring into my head to verify the fact that I'm BONKERS and can become overwhelmed if I try hard enough!
VWGirl, can you give an update? It's selfish I'm sure, but I was curious as to whether MY HP was helping out. I asked, afterall... :)
I WILL be attending a meeting today--need to get centered again. There was a time that I'd have been seriously horribly hungover AND feeling like this. I'm grateful to MY Higher Power for "allowing" me to find my way to sobriety. It's made all the difference in my life--I just wish I could have listened earlier.
It's funny in a sad way, actually, that I struggled SO DAMNED HARD to prove I didn't need anyone. I still don't need anyone, but I want any one--know what I mean?
I was running today (yep, still) and I've found that it gets me to that peaceness and serenity that I need to start the day. ANYWHO, so I live in the countryside and the farmers are harvesting what's left of their corn crops (severe drought--worst in 100 years) and the deer are out (boys in felt), the bunnies--all of 'em-- in the cool of the morning before it hits the 100s again and I'm thinking, "I wonder how I could have afforded to miss this all these years?"
It's great to be alive, but it's GREAT to be A L I V E, you know what I mean?
VWGirl, can you give an update? It's selfish I'm sure, but I was curious as to whether MY HP was helping out. I asked, afterall... :)
I WILL be attending a meeting today--need to get centered again. There was a time that I'd have been seriously horribly hungover AND feeling like this. I'm grateful to MY Higher Power for "allowing" me to find my way to sobriety. It's made all the difference in my life--I just wish I could have listened earlier.
It's funny in a sad way, actually, that I struggled SO DAMNED HARD to prove I didn't need anyone. I still don't need anyone, but I want any one--know what I mean?
I was running today (yep, still) and I've found that it gets me to that peaceness and serenity that I need to start the day. ANYWHO, so I live in the countryside and the farmers are harvesting what's left of their corn crops (severe drought--worst in 100 years) and the deer are out (boys in felt), the bunnies--all of 'em-- in the cool of the morning before it hits the 100s again and I'm thinking, "I wonder how I could have afforded to miss this all these years?"
It's great to be alive, but it's GREAT to be A L I V E, you know what I mean?
Gidday Skg
Jump on the computor and visit the boards on the weeknd if meetings are a bit scarce as it is pretty quiet on the weekends here.
In the beginning i was scared i would lose my momentum if i missed meetings etc, but at times it cant be helped and gratitude and faith in my higher power kept me going and still keep me going although i dont argue and grab things back as much now with god.
You are doing so well and the wobbly bits will lessen and in reality for me the wobbly bits are just a way of reinforcing what i need to do to stay sober and happy, keep working my recovery and learn from it and then i can put my training wheels up a bit once the wobbles are sorted.
K.I.S.S, dont like using that one as the stupid at the end doesnt seem right but i prefer son or sister, what im babbling about is rely on your gratitude and faith when meetings are scarce and post here:)
light and love Zac
Jump on the computor and visit the boards on the weeknd if meetings are a bit scarce as it is pretty quiet on the weekends here.
In the beginning i was scared i would lose my momentum if i missed meetings etc, but at times it cant be helped and gratitude and faith in my higher power kept me going and still keep me going although i dont argue and grab things back as much now with god.
You are doing so well and the wobbly bits will lessen and in reality for me the wobbly bits are just a way of reinforcing what i need to do to stay sober and happy, keep working my recovery and learn from it and then i can put my training wheels up a bit once the wobbles are sorted.
K.I.S.S, dont like using that one as the stupid at the end doesnt seem right but i prefer son or sister, what im babbling about is rely on your gratitude and faith when meetings are scarce and post here:)
light and love Zac
