I have been trying to research different sites to find ways to not just quit but change the behavior in the first place. I keep trying to remember why I quit I know I was forgetting things, I would make up reasons why I wanted to stay in the house so I wouldn't miss my pill time but I still did quite a few things in the house while on them so it wasn't as if I was laying on the couch. In the summer I am outside all the time in fact everyone in then neighborhood hangs out here. But I was feeling nauseous and I was not getting "high" anymore but I still kept taking them. I feel like so much was wrapped in taking them and so much (convoluted) happiness was attributed to having those damn little pills that I think how will I stay off. What will get me "off" if not the pills, and why does my brain work this way. nothing serious happened to me I had a good childhood after my parents divorced and I now have a great life so why why I ask am I so worried that I won't have that good feeling about anything anymore. It is these questions that keep me up at night wondering if I will relapse. I know all the answers I write them to others but I still can't get over the pull these pills have on me. Part of me wants to say hey I am not that bad I function on the pills no one would even imagine I had a problem. The other part says do you want to raise your boys all the while on drugs. God I am so confused. So as to the start of this topic I went online to find alternatives which would help me to learn ways to get rid of the mental stuff the rewiring of my brain I mean hey I can quit for a few months but I also go back. So I started reading about this ibogaine and found that it puts you into a psychedelic trip and shows you things and that people come out of it with a 90 percent recovery rate. Of course it is not legal in the States but there are clinics in other places and I wondered if anyone has any info on them.
Thanks
Roxy
HELLO FRIENDS......Link for info on IBOGAINE
Healing Transitions Institute for Addiction
((((((((((((((roxy)))))))))))))))))))
you are in my prayers.........
love
thumper
Healing Transitions Institute for Addiction
((((((((((((((roxy)))))))))))))))))))
you are in my prayers.........
love
thumper
Roxy,
Its whats commonly referred to as a "functioning addict"..your addicted to something but function quite well and are not having the problems that many addicts do that their world is falling apart, losing jobs, relationships etc...
I have to say that i was much the same as you..and there is a problem with that because you can 'get away" with making excuses to yourself...
The one thing that really kept me on the path to getting off of them was i kept thinking that i wanted to be able to be totally independent...the show survivor was just starting i believe, or i just started watching it, and i kept thinking, Gosh, i couldnt even do that, cus theres no pharmacy on the freakin island...
I hated that thought...the thought that i felt i couldnt '"survive" without them...it pissed me right off in fact...and that anger helped keep my eye on my goal..
My pain had also totally slowed down in frequency, which was something i had prayed for for so long that i felt really ungrateful to keep using them...
Don't forget honey, that you wouldnt be human NOT to like the feeling of increased endorphins, and theres many people that believe that those who have a hard time putting the bottle of pills away AFTER they have recovered from their pain, are those that do not have enough natural serotonin...so for them, feeling "good" was really feeling normal for the first time in a long time..
Thats where an Rx of a good anti depressant ( serotonin ) comes in beneficial
This is not referring to those with all around addictions of alcohol, drugs in general but to those that took the pills for a specific reason but unlike most that would put them away, would want to keep taking them..
Don't know if its true, just saying that there are those that believe it is possible,.
theres a book about it called The Mood Cure, and if nothing else its an amazing read..showing the things we crave are the things our bodies are trying to compensate for not having...including, chocolate..and even dirt....some people crave dirt because of a lack of minerals....really interesting book...There is a quiz in it that you fill out and they ask what type of things you crave..or are addicted to...things tat relax..benzos...or things that give you energy..pain pills...etc....you have to write down the type of diet that you are on, what you take and then they give you an idea of amino acids or minerals or vitamins etc...that you may be deficient in, or may have ALWAYS been deficient in...
You wondered why you stopped taking them?
Write a list of the pros and cons..i can assure you the cons are much much bigger then the pros....and as you said yourself, after a while you weren't even get that nice buzz, so whats the point of taking them, and why do we keep taking them if they dont work anyway? its the epitome of insanity..to keep doing the same thing over and over again and expecting or hoping for different results....like hitting your head over and over again, thinking maybe it wont hurt the next whack...lol
You should also peruse this site, and read the success thread section....there you will find post after post to remind you why life is SO much better when we gain back our freedom of CHOICE...
Hope that helps
Hugs
Ali
Its whats commonly referred to as a "functioning addict"..your addicted to something but function quite well and are not having the problems that many addicts do that their world is falling apart, losing jobs, relationships etc...
I have to say that i was much the same as you..and there is a problem with that because you can 'get away" with making excuses to yourself...
The one thing that really kept me on the path to getting off of them was i kept thinking that i wanted to be able to be totally independent...the show survivor was just starting i believe, or i just started watching it, and i kept thinking, Gosh, i couldnt even do that, cus theres no pharmacy on the freakin island...
I hated that thought...the thought that i felt i couldnt '"survive" without them...it pissed me right off in fact...and that anger helped keep my eye on my goal..
My pain had also totally slowed down in frequency, which was something i had prayed for for so long that i felt really ungrateful to keep using them...
Don't forget honey, that you wouldnt be human NOT to like the feeling of increased endorphins, and theres many people that believe that those who have a hard time putting the bottle of pills away AFTER they have recovered from their pain, are those that do not have enough natural serotonin...so for them, feeling "good" was really feeling normal for the first time in a long time..
Thats where an Rx of a good anti depressant ( serotonin ) comes in beneficial
This is not referring to those with all around addictions of alcohol, drugs in general but to those that took the pills for a specific reason but unlike most that would put them away, would want to keep taking them..
Don't know if its true, just saying that there are those that believe it is possible,.
theres a book about it called The Mood Cure, and if nothing else its an amazing read..showing the things we crave are the things our bodies are trying to compensate for not having...including, chocolate..and even dirt....some people crave dirt because of a lack of minerals....really interesting book...There is a quiz in it that you fill out and they ask what type of things you crave..or are addicted to...things tat relax..benzos...or things that give you energy..pain pills...etc....you have to write down the type of diet that you are on, what you take and then they give you an idea of amino acids or minerals or vitamins etc...that you may be deficient in, or may have ALWAYS been deficient in...
You wondered why you stopped taking them?
Write a list of the pros and cons..i can assure you the cons are much much bigger then the pros....and as you said yourself, after a while you weren't even get that nice buzz, so whats the point of taking them, and why do we keep taking them if they dont work anyway? its the epitome of insanity..to keep doing the same thing over and over again and expecting or hoping for different results....like hitting your head over and over again, thinking maybe it wont hurt the next whack...lol
You should also peruse this site, and read the success thread section....there you will find post after post to remind you why life is SO much better when we gain back our freedom of CHOICE...
Hope that helps
Hugs
Ali
