A dress for the dog? Ah, okaaay. Yes Tim, it would require a partner. Is it getting to be that time?
Lisa quotes-Is it getting to be that time?
yes and I feel pity for whoever it is.LOL
I think we got off topic.
yes and I feel pity for whoever it is.LOL
I think we got off topic.
Way off but hey what ever gets ya through the night otherwise you end up with Cob Webs....
LOL Ok, back to topic.
cob webs, Molly? As in CWC? LMAO.
You are cracking me up, and I love it.
One thing,,,,,, the disease is cunning, baffling, and powerful.......... and trickey as #*L, don't forget that
Thanks guys...I really mean it...its great to see and hear so many varied opinions about this..it really has me going lately...one thing is for sure, it is a cunning baffling problem.
I am just thrilled that I am able to feel alright and move forward like I am. When I quit c/t June 21st this past summer....I was so very very sick for so very very long...easily a good 4 weeks...I was still feeling the w/d, not as strong and not all the time...but yeah it was brutal...I also had a miserable flu for the longest time as well....even after the physical lifted many weeks later...the mental crap was unbearable...I mean up until I relapsed over 3 months later....it was kicking my butt still...I was so very scared that I had really screwed things up. I did a ton of research and then began to understand exactly what it was that I did to my brain chemistry....so being the impatient person I am.....instead of working it out....I gave up and told myself a couple pills here and there won't hurt....uhhh yeah ok.....
Anyway...with the sub I feel like I felt before I started pills....thats what it feels like...no depression...anyway I am healing...I am also aware of the fact that I am on a powerful med and need to come off it...I truly believe with a great taper plan...I will be ok...because the weird thing is you actually dont want increase your dose....it just never even enters your mind.
I am gonna work the plan my doctor has set out and see how it goes...he got real upset when I talked about when I will come off it. He told me in no uncertain terms that he is the doc and I do what he says...he will help me get better...so I am trusting him.
I just know in my heart I am not an alcoholic....and am not sure if I am addict...I know for sure I was terribly addicted to pain pills in every way..but I am not sure yet if that means I should walk with the label
Thanks again....very enlightening and encouraging...nice to see we all getting along tonite!!
I am just thrilled that I am able to feel alright and move forward like I am. When I quit c/t June 21st this past summer....I was so very very sick for so very very long...easily a good 4 weeks...I was still feeling the w/d, not as strong and not all the time...but yeah it was brutal...I also had a miserable flu for the longest time as well....even after the physical lifted many weeks later...the mental crap was unbearable...I mean up until I relapsed over 3 months later....it was kicking my butt still...I was so very scared that I had really screwed things up. I did a ton of research and then began to understand exactly what it was that I did to my brain chemistry....so being the impatient person I am.....instead of working it out....I gave up and told myself a couple pills here and there won't hurt....uhhh yeah ok.....
Anyway...with the sub I feel like I felt before I started pills....thats what it feels like...no depression...anyway I am healing...I am also aware of the fact that I am on a powerful med and need to come off it...I truly believe with a great taper plan...I will be ok...because the weird thing is you actually dont want increase your dose....it just never even enters your mind.
I am gonna work the plan my doctor has set out and see how it goes...he got real upset when I talked about when I will come off it. He told me in no uncertain terms that he is the doc and I do what he says...he will help me get better...so I am trusting him.
I just know in my heart I am not an alcoholic....and am not sure if I am addict...I know for sure I was terribly addicted to pain pills in every way..but I am not sure yet if that means I should walk with the label
Thanks again....very enlightening and encouraging...nice to see we all getting along tonite!!
Label? LABEL???? Did someone say the word LABEL?????????
OH OH ..don even get me started again..,lol..sorry keeKee if i got all serious in my first post to you on this thread...but if you want my opinion,,,,,you are NOT an alcoholic nd should not ADMIT to being one just to please your Dr.,.,i think...oh forget what i think..i covered it all at the begininng of his thread..lolol
Walk with your head help high beautiful KeeKee.,....never buy into other peoples labels....
Love and a hug
Ali.
OH OH ..don even get me started again..,lol..sorry keeKee if i got all serious in my first post to you on this thread...but if you want my opinion,,,,,you are NOT an alcoholic nd should not ADMIT to being one just to please your Dr.,.,i think...oh forget what i think..i covered it all at the begininng of his thread..lolol
Walk with your head help high beautiful KeeKee.,....never buy into other peoples labels....
Love and a hug
Ali.
LOL...thanks Ali...I detest labels too!! I think the real reason he wants me to admit it is...he wants me in the 12 step program....AA
He prefers it over NA...just because on the Island here he feels that I will connect more with the "demographic" in AA...true perhaps...but whatever..a drug is a drug is a drug...
Anyway..to me its like "court ordered" programs they don't work period...however with that said...I did agree to go to the meeting with an open mind because I am so ready to put this behind me and what could it hurt? I just don't like it that it is a requirement I guess...anyway don't know what I am trying to say...but I will attend and really try to get something out of them and maybe meet some good people...but I don't like it when people try to fit a square peg into a round hole....does this make sense? LOL
Your up late tonight...its early evening here and its been a day....I painted my living room today....that was a chore...its a dark color so I will need a second coat...made some cookies..took Kearra to the beach then made ravioli for diner...the Chef boy R D....can visit my kitchen anytime....its so quiet...except for Kearra..she is sleeping next to me..in my bed of course...she is snoring....little snore mind you! Blockbuster delivered some DVD's...so I ordered this really old spooky movie with George C Scott..the Changling...1978...its quite scary for its time!!! Thinking about painting my nails...and making some natchos...what I should really do is go to bed...I have to work in the AM
I just really cherish this time to myself....ok..now I am digressing!!
How' did your day go? whatcha doing up so late!!!!
He prefers it over NA...just because on the Island here he feels that I will connect more with the "demographic" in AA...true perhaps...but whatever..a drug is a drug is a drug...
Anyway..to me its like "court ordered" programs they don't work period...however with that said...I did agree to go to the meeting with an open mind because I am so ready to put this behind me and what could it hurt? I just don't like it that it is a requirement I guess...anyway don't know what I am trying to say...but I will attend and really try to get something out of them and maybe meet some good people...but I don't like it when people try to fit a square peg into a round hole....does this make sense? LOL
Your up late tonight...its early evening here and its been a day....I painted my living room today....that was a chore...its a dark color so I will need a second coat...made some cookies..took Kearra to the beach then made ravioli for diner...the Chef boy R D....can visit my kitchen anytime....its so quiet...except for Kearra..she is sleeping next to me..in my bed of course...she is snoring....little snore mind you! Blockbuster delivered some DVD's...so I ordered this really old spooky movie with George C Scott..the Changling...1978...its quite scary for its time!!! Thinking about painting my nails...and making some natchos...what I should really do is go to bed...I have to work in the AM
I just really cherish this time to myself....ok..now I am digressing!!
How' did your day go? whatcha doing up so late!!!!
1.Did you feel omnipotent
2.Did you finnaly feel less fearful and able to be social
3.Felt like you could accomplish anything?
4.Did you feel you finnaly found something you had been looking for your whole life
5.Did you have an unusual obsession with your DOC?Like how can I get more?
How can I make sure I don't run out.How much time did you think about your DOC?
Okay, I know I can answer yes...but I know that I have been an addict all my life.
However, back to your question, NO, if you were addicted to pain meds, that doesn't always mean that you are an addict/alchy. These are powerful narcotics that build tolerance, and eventually dependence. But that doesn't mean that you are an alcy. I think that you yourself know if you are....I have always been aware of my different thougth patterns regarding drugs...
My friends never obsessed the way I did about getting high; I made it a sport in my mind. I thought about it day and night; they could care less most of the time.
2.Did you finnaly feel less fearful and able to be social
3.Felt like you could accomplish anything?
4.Did you feel you finnaly found something you had been looking for your whole life
5.Did you have an unusual obsession with your DOC?Like how can I get more?
How can I make sure I don't run out.How much time did you think about your DOC?
Okay, I know I can answer yes...but I know that I have been an addict all my life.
However, back to your question, NO, if you were addicted to pain meds, that doesn't always mean that you are an addict/alchy. These are powerful narcotics that build tolerance, and eventually dependence. But that doesn't mean that you are an alcy. I think that you yourself know if you are....I have always been aware of my different thougth patterns regarding drugs...
My friends never obsessed the way I did about getting high; I made it a sport in my mind. I thought about it day and night; they could care less most of the time.
| QUOTE |
| 1.Did you feel omnipotent 2.Did you finnaly feel less fearful and able to be social 3.Felt like you could accomplish anything? 4.Did you feel you finnaly found something you had been looking for your whole life 5.Did you have an unusual obsession with your DOC?Like how can I get more? |
Kerry- I can honestly say no to the above questions. Yet I was addicted. What does that make me?
sorry, meant to post on another thread.
To Thine Ownself Be True.
I know in my heart I have always been an addict waiting to happen.It's robbed me of a lot of years trying to prove otherwise.I've also lived long enough to realize that not everything is black and white.
I have a girlfriend in South Dakota who was in rehab with me for Cocaine.We both were active in AA for about 5 years in Houston.After 4 years of sobriety,she decided she could drink and smoke a little herb.All her friends in the program dropped her like a hot potato.I was freaked out too but we remained close.
6 years later........She went to get her masters at a college in SD,has a steady relationship with a dude that's 20 years younger,she is a knockout 40+ lady and will be here for the Christmas holidays.I love her.
She hasn't has one problem with abuse?
........but that's her,not me
Alcohol was never my drug of choice but it is a drug.If I couldn't get my hands on "the poison du jour",don't think I couldn't knock down a fifth of Jim Beam real fast.
I have too much life experience to know what will and will not work for me.
It's pretty simple.......any substance that alters my mood or perception would be like a slow death.I don't have any reservations.
Everyone needs to find their own truth.I'm not going to put a label on anyone.I've been wrong too many times.
I am really grateful today I don't need or want anything to alter my mood anyway,regardless if I don't think I would have a problem.
There are also people who actually enjoy good wines and appreciate the whole Epicurean experience surrounding them.Some of the wine connoisseurs can even tell you the county or province where the grapes came from .....................that wasn't me.I was not very sophisticated.The only thing I could do is suck down a litre and identify the county jail I was going to be visiting that night.
KeeKee,I think if listen closely you will figure it out.
How is the weather on the big island?
I know in my heart I have always been an addict waiting to happen.It's robbed me of a lot of years trying to prove otherwise.I've also lived long enough to realize that not everything is black and white.
I have a girlfriend in South Dakota who was in rehab with me for Cocaine.We both were active in AA for about 5 years in Houston.After 4 years of sobriety,she decided she could drink and smoke a little herb.All her friends in the program dropped her like a hot potato.I was freaked out too but we remained close.
6 years later........She went to get her masters at a college in SD,has a steady relationship with a dude that's 20 years younger,she is a knockout 40+ lady and will be here for the Christmas holidays.I love her.
She hasn't has one problem with abuse?
........but that's her,not me
Alcohol was never my drug of choice but it is a drug.If I couldn't get my hands on "the poison du jour",don't think I couldn't knock down a fifth of Jim Beam real fast.
I have too much life experience to know what will and will not work for me.
It's pretty simple.......any substance that alters my mood or perception would be like a slow death.I don't have any reservations.
Everyone needs to find their own truth.I'm not going to put a label on anyone.I've been wrong too many times.
I am really grateful today I don't need or want anything to alter my mood anyway,regardless if I don't think I would have a problem.
There are also people who actually enjoy good wines and appreciate the whole Epicurean experience surrounding them.Some of the wine connoisseurs can even tell you the county or province where the grapes came from .....................that wasn't me.I was not very sophisticated.The only thing I could do is suck down a litre and identify the county jail I was going to be visiting that night.
KeeKee,I think if listen closely you will figure it out.
How is the weather on the big island?
Bullwinkle-It may just have meant you became addicted to your pain meds?
It doesn't make you an addict.
What was your history before?
One more thing KeeKee-
You can't make someone go to AA/NA.I am in big disagreement with courts who do that.It goes against everything the program teaches.
It's a program of attraction,not promotion.
One of the reasons it may be pushed around here is because it's a free source and generally located everywhere.What else are you going to tell people who have no money or insurance?
It doesn't make you an addict.
What was your history before?
One more thing KeeKee-
You can't make someone go to AA/NA.I am in big disagreement with courts who do that.It goes against everything the program teaches.
It's a program of attraction,not promotion.
One of the reasons it may be pushed around here is because it's a free source and generally located everywhere.What else are you going to tell people who have no money or insurance?
Tim, I was also at one time (not at the same time as pain meds..much earlier) addicted to Xanax (which was prescribed) but I never increased my dose or took more than prescribed or obsessed or anything like that.
BW-You know man, I'm certainly not qualified to tell anyone they are an addict or an alcoholic.It can get confusing.
I am fairly clear about one thing,
An addict always abuses their meds.They take more than prescribed.They lie about their use.They think and obsess about getting more and do they have enough? Their inner thoughts are consumed with drug usage.They block out feelings and take drugs/alcohol to enhance certain feelings.They can't stand to be in their own skin.
It's not so much about what and how much you are taking.It's all about how does it change your personality?
Normal people do not drink or use drugs in this fashion.It's more like this."Hey guy,We are going out for a few beers,would you like to join us?"
Sure,Why not?"...........It's more of a spontaneous aftert thought.It wasn't planned all day and you were not sitting at work sweating until 5:00pm came around and you could finnally get some relief by getting twisted because you hated your job and sure as hell didn't want to have to deal with that witch at home.LOL
If you are being honest with me,I would say no....It doesn't sound like you think like an addict...but,I'm not qualified to assume anything.
I hope that helps or makes sense.
I am fairly clear about one thing,
An addict always abuses their meds.They take more than prescribed.They lie about their use.They think and obsess about getting more and do they have enough? Their inner thoughts are consumed with drug usage.They block out feelings and take drugs/alcohol to enhance certain feelings.They can't stand to be in their own skin.
It's not so much about what and how much you are taking.It's all about how does it change your personality?
Normal people do not drink or use drugs in this fashion.It's more like this."Hey guy,We are going out for a few beers,would you like to join us?"
Sure,Why not?"...........It's more of a spontaneous aftert thought.It wasn't planned all day and you were not sitting at work sweating until 5:00pm came around and you could finnally get some relief by getting twisted because you hated your job and sure as hell didn't want to have to deal with that witch at home.LOL
If you are being honest with me,I would say no....It doesn't sound like you think like an addict...but,I'm not qualified to assume anything.
I hope that helps or makes sense.
You all, NO one tell tell another person they are or are not an alcoholic or addict....... The Big Book covers this in great detail how to find out for yourself....... I work with homeless people on the streets and take meetings to them....... Iam careful to never tell them they are an alcoholic. But I don't tell them they are not....... its simple..... as the big book says...... got try some controlled drinking and see how it goes or try some controlled pill taking and see how it goes...... We have to worry about ourselves and our problems .....
I don't know your whole story but have read parts of it.....
It might help you understand this a little better. In my opinion, we never recover....... we always have the disease.... it is progressive. I don't know how old you are but I promise you it does. Go to this web site and read this it might help you understand things better....... worth a try its not tha long of a read.
http://www.medical-online.com/addict.htm
read that in detail and tell me what you think....... think about it....... we have to retrain how we react to things. We have to have a different belief system.......
Alcoholism and addiction will try to trick you to not believe your are only so it can destroy you later........ just from experience.
hey guys
very interesting post, loved the chocolate lab on the passenger side of your car tim, how funny..
i will give my opinion and i am only speaking for myself and my experience.
julie is an addict, she admits it 3 times a week when i go to NA meetings, "hi my name is julie and i am an addict," to see the people and my sponsor who's been clean 9 yrs because of following the NA program makes me believe in the program and i want the life these people enjoy from following the program. na turned my sponsors life around she always says that na took a w**** and turned her into a house wife, she had gotton so bad in her disease that she was in labor in the freezing cold in an abandoned car doing drugs! i admire her for what she has accomplished, today she is a mother to her 5 kids, goes to college, is good to her husband and they are both advocates for na she is guiding me thru step one now.
i look at how much better these peoples lives are when i listen to them share at meetings,
i never wanted to buy into any of the na principles and i relapsed, this time God, Na and suboxone has kept me clean since july 10th!
the basic text of Na states that there is no known cure for addiction. i will fight this disease for the rest of my life.
opiates too, changed my ability to control drugs, before- i used pot for 30 yrs and dabbled in other drugs as well. never did any of those drugs put a hold on me like opiates.
my doctor too says i need to be on sub UNTIL i am strong enough in my program which i am taking very seriously now. sub makes me see life differently, i feel like living again, it is such a relief not to have to play the "how am i gonna get drugs today ?" game.
i dont mind saying i am an addict to anyone, i will tell anyone even my church that I AM AN ADDICT, i am proud to say that because it shows people how strong i am and improves my charactor when they see how hard i am working and trying to better my life.
i was getting some pre holiday triggers and i asked my sponsor about something i was contemplating..... i told her that since pot never got a hold on me like vics did and i dont drink, that i wanted to smoke one joint and have my annual glass of champagne on new years eve.
NO WAY she said, you will release your addiction all over again and it will change your brain chemistry back to how it was before i did rehab and sub, thats all i needed to hear cuz i went thru pure misery and h*ll when i was detoxing and pray to God that i NEVER EVER have to go thru that again,
i feel for the new posters on here who are just starting their detox.
i have SO much more to learn i just had a nervous breakdown i forgot about detachment, and setting boundaries, but i DIDN"T USE! it was awful what i went thru, i couldnt function, couldnt do my job, was crying, shaking like a leaf and crying at work and at home and after a baby shower i attended. i couldnt stop pacing back and forth cuz the anxiety was so high, it started affecting my physical health as well, that is when my sub/addiction doctor precribed some short term anti anxiety medication. i could not calm down no matter how much i tried to breathe and do the calming exercises, i couldnt even focus.
today i am stable, God has helped me thru this and strengthens me thru each trial. k-9/jewlsander1021
ps just got a call from work and i dont have to go in cuz the weather is so nasty and the snow is getting sooooo deep, theu close early today. yeah! i get to stay
home, better go start the snow blower!
very interesting post, loved the chocolate lab on the passenger side of your car tim, how funny..
i will give my opinion and i am only speaking for myself and my experience.
julie is an addict, she admits it 3 times a week when i go to NA meetings, "hi my name is julie and i am an addict," to see the people and my sponsor who's been clean 9 yrs because of following the NA program makes me believe in the program and i want the life these people enjoy from following the program. na turned my sponsors life around she always says that na took a w**** and turned her into a house wife, she had gotton so bad in her disease that she was in labor in the freezing cold in an abandoned car doing drugs! i admire her for what she has accomplished, today she is a mother to her 5 kids, goes to college, is good to her husband and they are both advocates for na she is guiding me thru step one now.
i look at how much better these peoples lives are when i listen to them share at meetings,
i never wanted to buy into any of the na principles and i relapsed, this time God, Na and suboxone has kept me clean since july 10th!
the basic text of Na states that there is no known cure for addiction. i will fight this disease for the rest of my life.
opiates too, changed my ability to control drugs, before- i used pot for 30 yrs and dabbled in other drugs as well. never did any of those drugs put a hold on me like opiates.
my doctor too says i need to be on sub UNTIL i am strong enough in my program which i am taking very seriously now. sub makes me see life differently, i feel like living again, it is such a relief not to have to play the "how am i gonna get drugs today ?" game.
i dont mind saying i am an addict to anyone, i will tell anyone even my church that I AM AN ADDICT, i am proud to say that because it shows people how strong i am and improves my charactor when they see how hard i am working and trying to better my life.
i was getting some pre holiday triggers and i asked my sponsor about something i was contemplating..... i told her that since pot never got a hold on me like vics did and i dont drink, that i wanted to smoke one joint and have my annual glass of champagne on new years eve.
NO WAY she said, you will release your addiction all over again and it will change your brain chemistry back to how it was before i did rehab and sub, thats all i needed to hear cuz i went thru pure misery and h*ll when i was detoxing and pray to God that i NEVER EVER have to go thru that again,
i feel for the new posters on here who are just starting their detox.
i have SO much more to learn i just had a nervous breakdown i forgot about detachment, and setting boundaries, but i DIDN"T USE! it was awful what i went thru, i couldnt function, couldnt do my job, was crying, shaking like a leaf and crying at work and at home and after a baby shower i attended. i couldnt stop pacing back and forth cuz the anxiety was so high, it started affecting my physical health as well, that is when my sub/addiction doctor precribed some short term anti anxiety medication. i could not calm down no matter how much i tried to breathe and do the calming exercises, i couldnt even focus.
today i am stable, God has helped me thru this and strengthens me thru each trial. k-9/jewlsander1021
ps just got a call from work and i dont have to go in cuz the weather is so nasty and the snow is getting sooooo deep, theu close early today. yeah! i get to stay
home, better go start the snow blower!
Thanks for all that...very interesting!
Tim I liked what you said about listening....and I will know....thanks man....that makes sense..before drugs, I really used to believe and trust my intuition....while using I was so off base on every decision that I made.
I am feeling that I am feeling again.....and trusting that inner voice!
Thanks for sharing that Jules...you are doing such a fantastic job!!
Tim I liked what you said about listening....and I will know....thanks man....that makes sense..before drugs, I really used to believe and trust my intuition....while using I was so off base on every decision that I made.
I am feeling that I am feeling again.....and trusting that inner voice!
Thanks for sharing that Jules...you are doing such a fantastic job!!
Hmmm...cured???? Exactly what is meant by "cured"?
Does one mean that one can stop taking drugs/alcohol and learn much better ways of coping with life on life's terms and better interaction methods with people. Yeah, I guess there is a "cure"
Does one mean that I can go back and take opiate pills, for pain or fun, doesn't matter, and not risk or go right back into addiction? Not a chance in heck.
I don't even want that cure. If my "cure" is supposed to be me being able to take pain pills, or even other drugs, "normally" again, why bother? That is not what I am signing up for. What I enlisted for is to find ways to develop in toto recovery from my physical, emotional, spiritual, moral/ethical, malaise. Not how to learn how to take drugs "normally" again. Oh yay, take drugs again...goody.
Someone can call themselves whatever they want for all I care, the question I have is: Do they think they can take their DOC again without putting themselves into a very risky..or even certain situation or returning to addiction?
That is the real money question....
Does one mean that one can stop taking drugs/alcohol and learn much better ways of coping with life on life's terms and better interaction methods with people. Yeah, I guess there is a "cure"
Does one mean that I can go back and take opiate pills, for pain or fun, doesn't matter, and not risk or go right back into addiction? Not a chance in heck.
I don't even want that cure. If my "cure" is supposed to be me being able to take pain pills, or even other drugs, "normally" again, why bother? That is not what I am signing up for. What I enlisted for is to find ways to develop in toto recovery from my physical, emotional, spiritual, moral/ethical, malaise. Not how to learn how to take drugs "normally" again. Oh yay, take drugs again...goody.
Someone can call themselves whatever they want for all I care, the question I have is: Do they think they can take their DOC again without putting themselves into a very risky..or even certain situation or returning to addiction?
That is the real money question....
