Elim states-"I don't even want that cure"
............and that's what it all comes down to.Thanks Elim.
I can understand why the question comes up.I had it for years when I first started going to meetings.I would hear some members in the group say how they don't miss drinking or drugs and I would think to myself.."Man,are they in denial".......or another of my favorites......"Well,if she/he would have a drink we would all be happier".LOL
I went around with this thought in my head constantly......"There has got to be a day I can get a little high without all these nasty consequences.I love those big Margaritas they serve in those fishbowls at Tilas,oh yeah the Mexican food is awesome,too."
And in all honesty,if it is on your mind and you are not getting any peace then I say....."Go for it" and I'm not be sarcastic.I'm dead serious.Go try some controlled drinking.It may work for you.Im not from the school of AA where I believe everyone that comes through the doors of AA/NA are addicts and alcoholics.I think that's hogwash....no offense to any program people.
Life is not black and white.You will not find any serenity until you have that answer.
I've paid my dues and I have all the answers I can handle for one lifetime about addiction.I know that year in 1994-95 when I finished working the twelve steps with my sponsor,something shifted.I don't know when it happened but for the first time in my life I felt a sense of freedom I have never known.
I did not want to get high.It held no attraction whatsoever.I was finally comfortable in my own skin.I did not want to change my feelings...good or bad.
And if someone came up to me tomorrow and offered a pill that would allow me to drink and use again.....the answer would be no,and I'm not bullsh*tting.
We talked a little bit about this in my meeting on Wed. Controlled drinking. I never thought of myself as an alcoholic until I started recovery. As I've said before, if I didn't abuse the pills, then it probably would have been the alcohol. The only way to find that out is to start drinking and see how I would do. But why would I do that? Why would I risk the possiblity of turning my life upside down again? Why would I want that insanity? Why drink? It doesn't taste that good, I like coffee better. It makes you puke, now that's a load of fun...and it gives me migraines. Naw, think I'll stick to just being me as I am. I don't need substances to make myself feel better anymore.
Tim...
Even though we've yet to meet f2f, I think what really attracts me to your posts is that you can say what I am thinking...Us addicts have an uncanny sense of thinking the same thoughts and when we go on to recovery and work a program, that spiritual connection only strengthens....
You said what I think, dead on...
""I don't know when it happened but for the first time in my life I felt a sense of freedom I have never known.
I did not want to get high.It held no attraction whatsoever.I was finally comfortable in my own skin.I did not want to change my feelings...good or bad.
And if someone came up to me tomorrow and offered a pill that would allow me to drink and use again.....the answer would be no,and I'm not bullsh*tting.""
Thank you Tim and I second that....
xoxo
Stacey
Even though we've yet to meet f2f, I think what really attracts me to your posts is that you can say what I am thinking...Us addicts have an uncanny sense of thinking the same thoughts and when we go on to recovery and work a program, that spiritual connection only strengthens....
You said what I think, dead on...
""I don't know when it happened but for the first time in my life I felt a sense of freedom I have never known.
I did not want to get high.It held no attraction whatsoever.I was finally comfortable in my own skin.I did not want to change my feelings...good or bad.
And if someone came up to me tomorrow and offered a pill that would allow me to drink and use again.....the answer would be no,and I'm not bullsh*tting.""
Thank you Tim and I second that....
xoxo
Stacey
tHIS IS SOMETHING THAT (oops sorry)about 1 year ago I would of NEVER admitted.I never since I was about 17(when I almost died from it)thought I had a problem drinking.I never drank(after my girls came)everyday or even every week.
But in this past year the couple times I did try to sit & have a beer or two I couldnt stop.The first time I ended up slugging vodka the 2nd Southern Comfort THAT made me realize that I cannot CANNOT risk my health or my recovery.Do I wish on a hot summers day I could sit & have 1-2 beers...YES but for the sake of my life & what I need to do I no longer ytouch ANYTHING
Thanks for letting me put my input
But in this past year the couple times I did try to sit & have a beer or two I couldnt stop.The first time I ended up slugging vodka the 2nd Southern Comfort THAT made me realize that I cannot CANNOT risk my health or my recovery.Do I wish on a hot summers day I could sit & have 1-2 beers...YES but for the sake of my life & what I need to do I no longer ytouch ANYTHING
Thanks for letting me put my input
Yes, I've always been an addict/alcoholic and no, I will never be cured ~ just in remission.
