My boyfriend and I have been together for over 5 years. Longer than some married couples. We broke up last night. He basically threw me out of the house.
He doesn't see his addiction. I have cried and pleaded with him. I have not seen him sober in almost 6 months. Now he is smoking weed again as well. He will sit down after work and drink a six pack, a bottle of wine and expect me to be ok with it because it makes him "relax" after a long day of physical labor. He becomes nasty after hard liquor. Thank god he was able to see that and then stopped that. I just found out from his doctor that he is borderline diabetic. He is upset about and doesn't understand because he doesn't have a sweet tooth (like myself). I try to explain to him it's the beer. Fine....now he drinks almost 2 bottles of red wine every weekend night and a bottle every work night. He is also smoking weed a couple times a week on top of the booze.
We had an awesome sex life. Now it's awful. It effects his manhood and he says I'm not into it. How can I be into it if "it" is almost non existent or lasts 5 minutes.
I remember when we were together in the beginning. He would do sweet things like buy me flowers for no reason or we would dance around the living room. We would go to football games and basketball games. Now we don't do that.
It is not effecting his finances because he has a high paying job. And the job is not effected...yet. He doesn't see how worried I am and how much I want the man I fell in love with back....can I make him see? He broke my heart, I'm out in the cold while he is getting high and drunk. Help me.....
hi Jennifer, your boyfriend is in denial, if alcohol is causing him to alter his behaviour to that extent then he has a problem with it, sorry to say this does not help you- in addiction the addict will always put the drink/drugs before everything else in their lives- i too have done this, i am an alcoholic, i am not proud to say i know how this works. until your boyfriend realises and admits to himself that he has a problem he will not change. this decision will be his alone to make and no matter how much you want to help or to try and change his behaviour only he can make that decision- it is the harsh reality of being in the relationship with someone who is abusing alcohol-
their is an organisation called al-anon for relatives of people who are dealing with your situation you might benefit from giving them a call- there you will find people in similar circumstances-
you must decide whether you want to put your own well being first- this is not a quick fix problem- whether or not your boyfriend decides to get help- this problem will be a part of your relationship always, with all that this entails- if your boyfriend does get sober there is always going to be the possibility of him relapsing - this is likely no matter what he says or truly believes at any given time- the fact is very few make the transition to sobriety without relapsing - i am sorry i cannot be more optimistic on your behalf but the reality is you may be better walking away now and enduring the pain rather than embarking on a life time of living with a person with an addiction and all that this will entail- i truly hope you make the right decision for YOU and i wish you good luck -
their is an organisation called al-anon for relatives of people who are dealing with your situation you might benefit from giving them a call- there you will find people in similar circumstances-
you must decide whether you want to put your own well being first- this is not a quick fix problem- whether or not your boyfriend decides to get help- this problem will be a part of your relationship always, with all that this entails- if your boyfriend does get sober there is always going to be the possibility of him relapsing - this is likely no matter what he says or truly believes at any given time- the fact is very few make the transition to sobriety without relapsing - i am sorry i cannot be more optimistic on your behalf but the reality is you may be better walking away now and enduring the pain rather than embarking on a life time of living with a person with an addiction and all that this will entail- i truly hope you make the right decision for YOU and i wish you good luck -
Jennifer, I can totally relate to you on the sex life part, mine drinks so much there is no way he's capable of it at night but expects me to be OK with a quickie every morning, less than 5 mins. So frustrating, it makes me wonder what's wrong with me that he would choose alcohol over sex with me!
be there for him, accusing and yelling is only going to cause a bigger and harder battle. you should sit down and have a one on one long conversation about what is going on and how to change things together.
