I have been dating this guy for like four months and he used to smoke a tona weed in 7th and 8th grade but then he quit because he took extacy and then smoked weed, and somthing went wrong in his brain so he thinks if he ever smokes weed again taht his heart will go too fast and he'll die. So ever scince we have been dateing he hasn't smoked weed, he hasn't for a year now but he drinks and does other drugs. The drinking isn't that bad, but i was told it was really bad before we started going out. He pops/snorts; vicodin, perkacet, morphine, valium, and klonopins. its not like he does this every day, and it used to be like once a month some vicodin, but my parents hate him, for no reason at all. Now the stress of not being allowed to see eachother is becomeing too much for both of us. Whenever he gets depressed about not seeing me or can't see me over the weekend he does pills or alcohol. In school he has lost complete interest and complains to me about how school has no meaning, he thinks his life is boring and the same thing everyday, hes not suicidal in like emotions but hes killing himself with pills and alcohol. His newest thing is morphine, thats highly addictive and he has taken it alot lately... everyday for the last three days and multiple times over the last month . Its kinda at the point where two nights ago he called me drunk and said he was thinking about breaking up with me, but he "couldn't do it because he loves me so much". That night i took advantage of his intoxication and tried to get him to open up more about his life, his parents are divorced and his mom has cancer that was treated a year ago but might come back, he's 16 almost 17 and is kinda throwing his life away, resently he expressed to me that he wants to get help. He doesn't have anyone to go to though. The last time he told his doctor he did X his doctor told his mom and she had a fit so he doens't trust his doctor. his mom has been through a nighmare divorce and he feels like if he told her and asked for help it would kill her. he can't talk to school coucelers becasue he "doesn't want to get the school involved". I don't know what to do! i need to help him, i love him so much and hes gotten to the point where hes not only scareing me but i can tell hes scareing himself. his friends don't like me becasue i kinda changed him and slowed him down with the alcohol and partying all the time, but hes still always in that atmosphere and i care about him so i can't just walkt away and leave him in this life he doesn't like.I don't know how to get him help, or who to talk to, or what to do at all please.... if anyone has any ideas im open to anything
Narcotics Anonymous
telephone 1-818-7730700 they will direct you to a group near you
..........but,it's up to him.You can't do anything but educate yourself.There exist a group called Naranon that is for friends and family's of drug addicts.The number I gave you should help.
also check this out:
My Webpage
telephone 1-818-7730700 they will direct you to a group near you
..........but,it's up to him.You can't do anything but educate yourself.There exist a group called Naranon that is for friends and family's of drug addicts.The number I gave you should help.
also check this out:
My Webpage
You are in a very bad situation. But, you can make it immediately better if you choose the courage (note I said CHOOSE, for you do have it) to do the right thing..
IT WILL BE HARD TO LISTEN TO WHAT IM GOING TO SAY. But, the advice I am giving you will immediately lead to the road of sanity.
First of all- it is time for you to be totaly honest with yourself. He is getting some kind of pleasure from your worry & concern. Kind of a mother thing. He's letting you know what a 'bad boy' he is, and how much it hurts.
But if you really care about him-- you can't play into this. Believe it or not, it is one of the facits of his addiction. More on this later, for this is not the important thing.
You must realize HE IS LYING TO YOU (& HIMSELF). He has no one to go to--maybe so in my early addiction days, many moons ago. Not so today.
It is very unlikely that his family Dr. told his mother without his consent. It is also probably against the law. WHat Im saying is it probably didnt happen.
If he wanted to find somewhere to go for help, he would. He doesnt. Not now. Soon I hope. Now he just wants to tell you he does.
But here is the best thing you could do for you. You are in a very unhealthy relationship----YOU CAN NOT SAVE HIM. BUT HE CAN AND WILL PULL YOU UNDER.
You say your parents hate him for no reason. OK. Maybe, cause parents can be jerks some times. But they must think they have a few reasons. Do you know what the things aree that they think are wrong with him? If not, ask them in a non confronntational way. Say something like- Mom/Dad, I know u think he's a bad guy. Maybe I am missing something. Just what are the things that are bad about him. What do you worry about.
Your parents love you and are trying to protect you. What are they afraid of.
Finally, maybe you think im juuust some old jack as$, who used too many drugs, and his brain rotted away. Well, u probably got something there, but--
I think you need a little time to clear youur own head up.
Do you know, there is free or cheap counseling a lot of good places. Catholic Charities, Jewish family services, etc. It does not mean u r nuts if u talk to these people. Honest. And they wont tell your parents.
UUd be surprised how understanding and cool they can be for adults. They would be able to help you sort things out.
You have a beautiful life in front ooof youu (yes you do) and many many boyfriends to follow. Please give yourself the love you deserve
IT WILL BE HARD TO LISTEN TO WHAT IM GOING TO SAY. But, the advice I am giving you will immediately lead to the road of sanity.
First of all- it is time for you to be totaly honest with yourself. He is getting some kind of pleasure from your worry & concern. Kind of a mother thing. He's letting you know what a 'bad boy' he is, and how much it hurts.
But if you really care about him-- you can't play into this. Believe it or not, it is one of the facits of his addiction. More on this later, for this is not the important thing.
You must realize HE IS LYING TO YOU (& HIMSELF). He has no one to go to--maybe so in my early addiction days, many moons ago. Not so today.
It is very unlikely that his family Dr. told his mother without his consent. It is also probably against the law. WHat Im saying is it probably didnt happen.
If he wanted to find somewhere to go for help, he would. He doesnt. Not now. Soon I hope. Now he just wants to tell you he does.
But here is the best thing you could do for you. You are in a very unhealthy relationship----YOU CAN NOT SAVE HIM. BUT HE CAN AND WILL PULL YOU UNDER.
You say your parents hate him for no reason. OK. Maybe, cause parents can be jerks some times. But they must think they have a few reasons. Do you know what the things aree that they think are wrong with him? If not, ask them in a non confronntational way. Say something like- Mom/Dad, I know u think he's a bad guy. Maybe I am missing something. Just what are the things that are bad about him. What do you worry about.
Your parents love you and are trying to protect you. What are they afraid of.
Finally, maybe you think im juuust some old jack as$, who used too many drugs, and his brain rotted away. Well, u probably got something there, but--
I think you need a little time to clear youur own head up.
Do you know, there is free or cheap counseling a lot of good places. Catholic Charities, Jewish family services, etc. It does not mean u r nuts if u talk to these people. Honest. And they wont tell your parents.
UUd be surprised how understanding and cool they can be for adults. They would be able to help you sort things out.
You have a beautiful life in front ooof youu (yes you do) and many many boyfriends to follow. Please give yourself the love you deserve
Browndog,i couldtn have said it better.
Tkae the advice given,you will find a way out of this.It takes time,and youve got plenty of that.Things will work out,if you foloow browndogs advice.Speak to your parents.
Your BF needs to be more open with his parents,dr,etc....thats the ONLY way things are going to get better.Good luck~KIM
Tkae the advice given,you will find a way out of this.It takes time,and youve got plenty of that.Things will work out,if you foloow browndogs advice.Speak to your parents.
Your BF needs to be more open with his parents,dr,etc....thats the ONLY way things are going to get better.Good luck~KIM
very well said browndog.
always always remember this, you cannot make it better for him, he has to want to do it for himself, if you decide to try and be the person to make it all better than you are being co-dependant. google the word co-dependancy you will be shocked to find that they are describing you and me. i lost so much of my life being a co-dependant, i people pleased and literally was a door mat.
if he is willing to do something about his addiction than go for it, support him, remember the word support only! otherwise honey believe me you will be in for a miserable ride living with someone who is in active addiction. it can be treated but not cured. i sadly wish i had someone to tell me what i am telling you, i am in a miserable 27 yr marriage with an alcoholic/porn addict BUT i finally did something about my addiction and things look a lot different for me today. one day at a time i am taking babysteps. i have been clean 8 mos!
this is a disease that will have to be dealt with til the day we die! but it can be a good life. jewels
always always remember this, you cannot make it better for him, he has to want to do it for himself, if you decide to try and be the person to make it all better than you are being co-dependant. google the word co-dependancy you will be shocked to find that they are describing you and me. i lost so much of my life being a co-dependant, i people pleased and literally was a door mat.
if he is willing to do something about his addiction than go for it, support him, remember the word support only! otherwise honey believe me you will be in for a miserable ride living with someone who is in active addiction. it can be treated but not cured. i sadly wish i had someone to tell me what i am telling you, i am in a miserable 27 yr marriage with an alcoholic/porn addict BUT i finally did something about my addiction and things look a lot different for me today. one day at a time i am taking babysteps. i have been clean 8 mos!
this is a disease that will have to be dealt with til the day we die! but it can be a good life. jewels
