Hey again, wondering if there are any health professionals in recovery out there?
yup,
here I am.....former nurse...( about to be again....) now a paralegal....clean 4 years..... previous post said isolated site...where are you from..?
Teresa...
here I am.....former nurse...( about to be again....) now a paralegal....clean 4 years..... previous post said isolated site...where are you from..?
Teresa...
Yes there are many HCP's who struggle with addiction--I am an RN and have been since 1987-----have not worked in the field for a year now---was focusing on my recovery after D/C for 28 day program last September----have been in relapse for past 6 months---also was taking care of my dad--he died on Tuesday------my nursind license has never been in jeopardy but it sure should and could of been--i know for a fact I cannot do any nursing that would put my in contact with controlled substances because i do not trust myslef and do not want to get busted and loss my licnse and face criminal charges-----good luck on your recovery wish I had words of wisdom to offer but right now I am a MESS
There's several Nurses that frequent this board, me, Rus, PregnantMom just to name a few. How can we help you?
Thanks Sharon for posting to this thead.....Yes we are everywhere! And many Nurses and other HCW frequent the 12 step rooms as well........People think that we should know better........many of us do!. For those of us who have found recovery it has provided the tools needed to continue in our careers. But for some the temptation is too strong.....These people need to focus on positions in healthcare that does not involve the distribution of medications/narcotics. There are so many other choices out there for nursing alone so that a recoverying addict can still work in a heathcare setting........
God Bless, Russell
God Bless, Russell
Thankx to all who replied as health professionals......Yes, I am a nurse in recovery. (new).......while in program had the oportunity to be part of a HCP component and CADUCEUS CLUB Group.Found this comfortable to share work/professional impact.Returning to work is not a priority right now however, will need to face this in the future.?? how long I will need before ready to return????
Yes, the shame of should have known better is big! Also realize that we all must be carefull to protect our licence etc so am not sure that this format is best for any detailed stuff. Sounds like a trust issue.(mine) HUH?? I live in "small town "Ontario Canada.
thanks again, jftgirl
Yes, the shame of should have known better is big! Also realize that we all must be carefull to protect our licence etc so am not sure that this format is best for any detailed stuff. Sounds like a trust issue.(mine) HUH?? I live in "small town "Ontario Canada.
thanks again, jftgirl
yes, i too was a health care worker in a hospital pharmacy (pharmacy tech) but
recently lost my job because of my addiction to vicodin. I tried and tried to stop but the temptation was too great and they finally found out I was stealing the pills from the dispensing machines. I have yet to find out my fate as to criminal charges, I wish the waiting for that would be over. But I consider losing my job a blessing because i finally was able to get free of being around the pills and tell my family. I will turn fifty years old this week and consider it a chance for a new start in this life. Since losing my job, I miss the people I worked with very much
and feel so bad about the way I betrayed them all, but also feel like I'm stronger
now than I have ever been because of this. I read this message board a lot but don't post, but hold each and everyone of you who comes here as a soul-mate
who has been affected by this disease of addiction- Whether recovering, relapsed or just curious-and pray that God would help each of you in the way only He knows best. Thanks for listening.
recently lost my job because of my addiction to vicodin. I tried and tried to stop but the temptation was too great and they finally found out I was stealing the pills from the dispensing machines. I have yet to find out my fate as to criminal charges, I wish the waiting for that would be over. But I consider losing my job a blessing because i finally was able to get free of being around the pills and tell my family. I will turn fifty years old this week and consider it a chance for a new start in this life. Since losing my job, I miss the people I worked with very much
and feel so bad about the way I betrayed them all, but also feel like I'm stronger
now than I have ever been because of this. I read this message board a lot but don't post, but hold each and everyone of you who comes here as a soul-mate
who has been affected by this disease of addiction- Whether recovering, relapsed or just curious-and pray that God would help each of you in the way only He knows best. Thanks for listening.
That was a good read thank you Hiawatha.
Im another long time reader here and today is my 1st day at not abusing morphine pills after abusing them for the last 8 years,I was laying down feeling sorry for myself and I thought blow this,get up and go and have a read and see that other people can make it through this.
Ive managed to get a little methadone and it is helping,but God I feel so lousy,the methadone will be finished tomorrow or the next day at the latest,Ive deliberately not got much,hopefully it will get me through the worst of the withdrawels and then it will be up to me,Im pretty determined,Ive tried 4 times in the last 6 months to stop using,god this is only my 1st day and Im allready being hit with emotions that I had forgotten about,just getting hit with all of these waves of emotions,its nearly enough to blow my mind it feels like and then I get all of these pictures of my family and old friends who Ive cut myself off from,I dont want to be an addict,I dont blasted like it,I can see what being an addict is doing to me and I dont want it,Im losing everybody that is important to me.,you know I got an email from my ex wife a couple of weeks ago and she said to me,I know you can beat this and become the man i.e. husband father friend that you were to the people in your life.
Anyway Hiawatha and all of the others who come here,thank you for a lot of different things that you do for me.
Im another long time reader here and today is my 1st day at not abusing morphine pills after abusing them for the last 8 years,I was laying down feeling sorry for myself and I thought blow this,get up and go and have a read and see that other people can make it through this.
Ive managed to get a little methadone and it is helping,but God I feel so lousy,the methadone will be finished tomorrow or the next day at the latest,Ive deliberately not got much,hopefully it will get me through the worst of the withdrawels and then it will be up to me,Im pretty determined,Ive tried 4 times in the last 6 months to stop using,god this is only my 1st day and Im allready being hit with emotions that I had forgotten about,just getting hit with all of these waves of emotions,its nearly enough to blow my mind it feels like and then I get all of these pictures of my family and old friends who Ive cut myself off from,I dont want to be an addict,I dont blasted like it,I can see what being an addict is doing to me and I dont want it,Im losing everybody that is important to me.,you know I got an email from my ex wife a couple of weeks ago and she said to me,I know you can beat this and become the man i.e. husband father friend that you were to the people in your life.
Anyway Hiawatha and all of the others who come here,thank you for a lot of different things that you do for me.
Well it is now over 36 hours since I turned a morphine pill into heroin and injected myself,I had a preety rough night but managed to make it through and I havent had any more methadone this morning,I really want to make it this time,I love the thought of being free from using,this is a big test for me,I sort of feel if I dont make it this time I may as well give up and be a addict for the rest of my life,I cant keep putting myself through this punishment,it is taking its toll on me,Im just sitting here looking at my hands and arms and the damage done from my using and looking at the damage done is helping me.
We have a beautiful sunny day here in nz today so Im going to go and have a shower and try and get the energy to go for a walk around the block.
Later all and good thoughts to everyone else fighting their adiction.
We have a beautiful sunny day here in nz today so Im going to go and have a shower and try and get the energy to go for a walk around the block.
Later all and good thoughts to everyone else fighting their adiction.
Oh, there are alot of health-related people who are here. I am a nurse and did the unthinkable, taking narcotics meant for others. I hated it, knowing what I was doing, But you know how our addictions are. I finally got caught, and knew I had to go to rehab and end this nightmare. I lost my job, of course, plus later, I was sued by the family of a patient. Talk about a BIG wake-up call!! Anyway, it shook me up so much that I am completely out of nursing now. I don't ever want to go through all that ever again. God was gracious, somehow the charges against me were dropped and I still have my license, but am letting it lapse, as I am through with nursing. But, nurses and doctors, etc, are human too, and make awful choices like everyone else. I have been clean for 2 yrs now and feel blessed, Hang in there--the withdrawal will end and you will be whole again. God bless,
Hey Chad,
I can relate to your emotions. In the addictions program I discovered that my crazy emotions are actually my addict/cravings wanting me to use big time..this is just as bad or worse than the physical s*** of withdrawl..... I just today started a reccomended medication to help me with this. Time will tell how it works. I see that you posted during the nite, this IS a lonely time for sure.
Take good care of youself Chad. R
I can relate to your emotions. In the addictions program I discovered that my crazy emotions are actually my addict/cravings wanting me to use big time..this is just as bad or worse than the physical s*** of withdrawl..... I just today started a reccomended medication to help me with this. Time will tell how it works. I see that you posted during the nite, this IS a lonely time for sure.
Take good care of youself Chad. R
Hey Karen,
Thks for sharing your story. We are not alone as HCP in addictions. Clean for two years is wonderfull girl. Im just beginning and clean since July/04. Had to start somwhere huh?? I know that I will end up Dead one way or anouther if I fail at this.................. Im told to ease up on the all or nothing s*** but that is my reality. It helps to here from all who can relate to me. R
Thks for sharing your story. We are not alone as HCP in addictions. Clean for two years is wonderfull girl. Im just beginning and clean since July/04. Had to start somwhere huh?? I know that I will end up Dead one way or anouther if I fail at this.................. Im told to ease up on the all or nothing s*** but that is my reality. It helps to here from all who can relate to me. R
Hey thank you jftgirl for the reply and the good wishes,its neat thinking that someone else knows what Im going through.
Im sitting here with tears flowing at the moment,I just received an email from a mate of mine,Im going to post it and it just bought instant tears,just before I got it,I was really thinking of giving in,but after reading it,I feel strong as again.
Yes you are right about the lonely part,I am doing this by myself,there is no one else here,but you know what,Ive made it like this,Ive cut myself off from so many people.
Hey good one mate.....I am really behind you here on this one so hang in there and make it happen, I know this s*** aint easy but look to the future bro and all the things that you can get into and make your life a blast....like campin out and fishing, raising horses and potential horse businesses, going to rugby and cricket games again, hangin out with ya mates, getting back into the workforce and getting some money to play with and all that stuff........me and #### are thinkin of ya heaps and all I can say is beat this goddam b****** and if you need me to come up or anything even come up for a yak over the next couple of weeks just let me know and I will be there, cause you are my mate and always will be ......see ya soon Rod
Im sitting here with tears flowing at the moment,I just received an email from a mate of mine,Im going to post it and it just bought instant tears,just before I got it,I was really thinking of giving in,but after reading it,I feel strong as again.
Yes you are right about the lonely part,I am doing this by myself,there is no one else here,but you know what,Ive made it like this,Ive cut myself off from so many people.
Hey good one mate.....I am really behind you here on this one so hang in there and make it happen, I know this s*** aint easy but look to the future bro and all the things that you can get into and make your life a blast....like campin out and fishing, raising horses and potential horse businesses, going to rugby and cricket games again, hangin out with ya mates, getting back into the workforce and getting some money to play with and all that stuff........me and #### are thinkin of ya heaps and all I can say is beat this goddam b****** and if you need me to come up or anything even come up for a yak over the next couple of weeks just let me know and I will be there, cause you are my mate and always will be ......see ya soon Rod
I too am a RN in recovery. I belong to a health care professional recovery group as well as AA. Currently I am not working as I am recovering from a major depressive episode but I have been in nursing for 30 years mainly in critical care and a cardiac cath lab setting. I know quite a few MDs in recovery as well.
Hiawatha,
Just wanted to wish you a happy birthday, full of all of the love and hapiness that you so deserve. Happy Birthday to you...........Much love,,,,,,,,,Briar
Just wanted to wish you a happy birthday, full of all of the love and hapiness that you so deserve. Happy Birthday to you...........Much love,,,,,,,,,Briar
Hey Jftgirl,
Yep, one right here, I work for Kaiser, been there 25 years Aug 13. Its a great place to work, heard lots of good and of course some bad too, but I think that is any hospital or HMO you belong too. Kaiser has been good to me during my rehab and recovery.
I was already on disibility due to a back injury, I have 10 months clean as of Sept 8, to make a long story short. I got addicted to Oxycontin. I had been taking numerous pain meds which were prescibed, same story as most on here, this lasted about about 2 years, I have been on alot of meds, but the Oxy really got to me. i took it once and loved it and it was a horrid withdrawl, took it 2 months, ran out (but not even early) I was taking as prescibed, but doc was on vacation went to ER , cause i was sick and didnt know I was in withdrawl, now I know, got more meds 7.5 vicodin and Soma, and a shot of something we still dont know, at any rate I was so out of it from whatever was in the shot I really didnt know what I was doing, my 22 daughter found me not breathing, to make a long story short. In two days I had taken amost 20 7.5 vics and 25 soma, Now everyday is a gift, I got a second chance and I am so grateful. I went straight to rehab out of the hospital into, Out-patient rehab was 14 days of day treatment thru kaiser, this program saved my life, its the worst and the best thing that has ever happened to me if you or anyone can understand that. I still go to meetings and everyday is a gift !! I still have my job, my new husband and my wonderful daughter, I am very lucky I had their support, everyone at work is great too, very supportive. I guess I am one of the lucky ones. I choose tell tell my work, but that is up to you, I have no desire to go back to using, I never want to be that sick ever again,maybe that keeps me clean, it makes me sick to think about what I put my family, and friends thru, and frankly the withdrawl from the pure drugs I was on, was horrid, I had control of nothing, it was pure hell, the throwing up, the diarhea, the sweats, the shakes, not sleeping, it goes on and on. I took lots of showers, lots and drank lots of water and ate healthy to try and repair whatI had put my body thru, I am blessed there was no damage, but thru all this... life does get better, I felt great within about 6-8 weeks. In closing I know I am one of the lucky and bless ones to be in that 4 percent who actually stays clean and I know I always have to leave the door cracked because if I close it, that is when I could relaspe. My love and prayers go out to you.
Go to kaiserpermanente.org, you have to apply over the web site, sumbit your resume. I know alot of the stuff is confidential so don't worry !!
Good luck to all,
poolshae
Yep, one right here, I work for Kaiser, been there 25 years Aug 13. Its a great place to work, heard lots of good and of course some bad too, but I think that is any hospital or HMO you belong too. Kaiser has been good to me during my rehab and recovery.
I was already on disibility due to a back injury, I have 10 months clean as of Sept 8, to make a long story short. I got addicted to Oxycontin. I had been taking numerous pain meds which were prescibed, same story as most on here, this lasted about about 2 years, I have been on alot of meds, but the Oxy really got to me. i took it once and loved it and it was a horrid withdrawl, took it 2 months, ran out (but not even early) I was taking as prescibed, but doc was on vacation went to ER , cause i was sick and didnt know I was in withdrawl, now I know, got more meds 7.5 vicodin and Soma, and a shot of something we still dont know, at any rate I was so out of it from whatever was in the shot I really didnt know what I was doing, my 22 daughter found me not breathing, to make a long story short. In two days I had taken amost 20 7.5 vics and 25 soma, Now everyday is a gift, I got a second chance and I am so grateful. I went straight to rehab out of the hospital into, Out-patient rehab was 14 days of day treatment thru kaiser, this program saved my life, its the worst and the best thing that has ever happened to me if you or anyone can understand that. I still go to meetings and everyday is a gift !! I still have my job, my new husband and my wonderful daughter, I am very lucky I had their support, everyone at work is great too, very supportive. I guess I am one of the lucky ones. I choose tell tell my work, but that is up to you, I have no desire to go back to using, I never want to be that sick ever again,maybe that keeps me clean, it makes me sick to think about what I put my family, and friends thru, and frankly the withdrawl from the pure drugs I was on, was horrid, I had control of nothing, it was pure hell, the throwing up, the diarhea, the sweats, the shakes, not sleeping, it goes on and on. I took lots of showers, lots and drank lots of water and ate healthy to try and repair whatI had put my body thru, I am blessed there was no damage, but thru all this... life does get better, I felt great within about 6-8 weeks. In closing I know I am one of the lucky and bless ones to be in that 4 percent who actually stays clean and I know I always have to leave the door cracked because if I close it, that is when I could relaspe. My love and prayers go out to you.
Go to kaiserpermanente.org, you have to apply over the web site, sumbit your resume. I know alot of the stuff is confidential so don't worry !!
Good luck to all,
poolshae
Hey Chad,
thinking of you and wondering how goes the battle??
You will come out of this a stonger person man. You deserve it!! Recovery as I know it for this brief time is worth it. My addiction took me to places that I hate to think about ya know?. I know that we are not to give advice, however during my five weeks in a treatment program gave me some info n tools that I feel I can pass on. Like, a respected physicion who has been at this for many years said that methadone maintanence treatment has had a bad rap and that it can and is helping individuals who otherwise would remain in the throughs of addiction!! I have no personal experience with this however. Chad, have you thought about getting a Doc and other outside assistance with this??? I did manage to tapper and remain clean since July.This is only the 15% and the other 85% is what I needed to recognize and deal with to help me stay clean..this I did in a inhouse addictions program. My insurance plan paid for this so may not be an option for you....... well worth it though!!...be safe. R
thinking of you and wondering how goes the battle??
You will come out of this a stonger person man. You deserve it!! Recovery as I know it for this brief time is worth it. My addiction took me to places that I hate to think about ya know?. I know that we are not to give advice, however during my five weeks in a treatment program gave me some info n tools that I feel I can pass on. Like, a respected physicion who has been at this for many years said that methadone maintanence treatment has had a bad rap and that it can and is helping individuals who otherwise would remain in the throughs of addiction!! I have no personal experience with this however. Chad, have you thought about getting a Doc and other outside assistance with this??? I did manage to tapper and remain clean since July.This is only the 15% and the other 85% is what I needed to recognize and deal with to help me stay clean..this I did in a inhouse addictions program. My insurance plan paid for this so may not be an option for you....... well worth it though!!...be safe. R
hey poolshae,
I also became addicted to oxycontin while taking same for a chronic back problem... too bad as while doin as prescribed it afforded a quality of life that was good. And think that those people who don't have an addictive personality do and can benifit from pain managment.
Im not that person however!!! Not sure how I will manage work without somthing for this pain... THAT is secondary to my recovery at the moment however do think about it lots... may be my addict talkin to me too.... head games are bigtime these days..Was also in treatment (in pt ) for 5 weeks to work on the 85% behavior life changes needed to stay clean. R
I also became addicted to oxycontin while taking same for a chronic back problem... too bad as while doin as prescribed it afforded a quality of life that was good. And think that those people who don't have an addictive personality do and can benifit from pain managment.
Im not that person however!!! Not sure how I will manage work without somthing for this pain... THAT is secondary to my recovery at the moment however do think about it lots... may be my addict talkin to me too.... head games are bigtime these days..Was also in treatment (in pt ) for 5 weeks to work on the 85% behavior life changes needed to stay clean. R
By the way, jftgirl posted the other messages that identified as a guest!!
You little beauty,Im now on day 3 of being free from using,JFTGIRL thank you again for thinking of me,Im in New Zealand and getting help for a morphine problem is practically impossible,about 5 months ago I went along to my local Alcohol and Drug clinic and made an appointment to see a counsellor,well since then Ive completed an assessment and had a meeting with a methadone coordinator and I was assessed as suitable for the methadone program,but get this,in the area Im in there is an 18 month waiting list,yet just up the island a bit,another place has 40 spaces available and because they are different areas,funded separetly,they can not transfer the places available and its impossible for me to pack up and move.
Anyway the truth of the matter is,I dont want to go on the methadone program unless I really have too,I want to be clean.
Ive been lucky I think,that I was able to score about 120m of methadone to help me over the first 3 days of withdrawing,it definitly helped,but from here on in,it is going to be up to me,Im still way off from feeling good,but each day is going to get better.
Finding this site about 3 months ago has really helped me,Ive been coming here since then to have a read daily and sometimes more then once a day,
Well it is just after 9am here thursday and it is another really lovely day,Im going to hit the shower and take in some of the suns rays and try and feel good about it.
Hey everybody that is fighting addiction,please hang in there and remember life can be good without drugs,think about what we have lost through our drug addiction and think about a future,its never too late as Im finding out,peace and love to you all.
Anyway the truth of the matter is,I dont want to go on the methadone program unless I really have too,I want to be clean.
Ive been lucky I think,that I was able to score about 120m of methadone to help me over the first 3 days of withdrawing,it definitly helped,but from here on in,it is going to be up to me,Im still way off from feeling good,but each day is going to get better.
Finding this site about 3 months ago has really helped me,Ive been coming here since then to have a read daily and sometimes more then once a day,
Well it is just after 9am here thursday and it is another really lovely day,Im going to hit the shower and take in some of the suns rays and try and feel good about it.
Hey everybody that is fighting addiction,please hang in there and remember life can be good without drugs,think about what we have lost through our drug addiction and think about a future,its never too late as Im finding out,peace and love to you all.
