I am a 29 yr. old woman living in a small city in southern Ontario. I live in a 2 bdrm. apt. with my partner of 10yrs. No kids, not married, but we do have 3 cats.
Over the past 10 yrs. my partner and I have build a nice co-dependant relationship filled with drinking and lots of mj. It seems fair to include that our 10 yrs together have been spent watching my mom die in April 2001 from cancer and other various things. Since my mom's passing we've been to 6 funerals mostly my family.
I've always known that I have addictive tendencies, both my parents we're alcoholic's. The day I became an addict was when my mom died. Since then I've steadly deterioated from a health concious giving,loving person, to someone who misses work and workouts, aviods all contact with friends and family, not to mention all the smoking of dope I do and have done. I smoke dope like cigg.'s. Something I quit long ago but fill "the act of smoking" with dope.
I am really not the dope smoking, careless, selfish person that I've become. Everything is at a standstill in my life. I'm at a dead end job, I want to move somewhere closer to a big college so I can re-attend school. My partner needs to change his job desperately also, but the motivation isn't here when we smoke.
I really am past the point where I can control myself around dope, and I've had simillar problems with alcohol. It really scares me though because about a month ago my doctor put me on pills for IBS. I hate taking pills for anything, but the stomach cramps and extreem bloating I was experiencing bended this rule. I have other symptoms such as blood where there shouldn't be any, something I've been reffered to a specialist for.
After reasearching IBS for a while I have come to realize that I really need to clean up my act. Diet is a big part of it, something I excel at when sober and destroy when smoking. ( 30 plus lbs. to show for it on my 5' 8" frame). That means no alcohol, smoking, sugar, wheat, dairy. <---Which seems daunting at first. But the biggest part of treating IBS is to reduce stress, something I have a lot of.
I feel a calling to workout more and deepen my yoga practice, to meditate again, and connect with my friends, THEN something blocks me from allowing myself to relax and get comfortable in my own skin, enjoying my friends and life.
I know that it all comes down to fear of getting hurt and of being left alone. I haven't fully healed since my mom's passing. It's a very heavy suitcase I carry around with me wherever I go. Perhaps it's why I stay in so much?!?!!
God help me, please help us all heal from our addictions. I want to feel free from all this numbness.
Thanks for listening :) !!!
Athena
Hi Athena,
Welcome to the board, I encourage you to read thru ALL the posts as there is a ton of great information. You have alot of great goals, that is incredible ! You can do it ! Some do this quitting thing cold turkey, some taper.
Meanwhile, here is a recipe for recovery that has worked for me. Of course giving yourself permission to attempt only one thing at a time is a good idea. Changing your lifestyle is a slow but steady process. Something as small as just eating breakfast changes you.
I stopped smoking weed in September of 2005, had a slip around the the 6 month mark but have been sober since. I also stopped drinking at the time, lost a few friends and I see a nutritionist regularily due to chrohns' disease. It works !!! Diet absolutely works !!!!! Plus I've managed to lose 15 lbs so far. I also recommend getting bloodwork done, as I found out I was very close to anemic, due to the blood loss. Yoga is awesome, too !!!
I go to meetings at a womens' shelter, where I'm working on self-esteem issues. My husband and I are in marriage counselling trying to figure out why he's such an a** towards me when I'm in desperate need of some emotional tending to as most women are.
My husband still smokes pot daily which sucks, but I have no control over him, only management over me. I gave his problem to the universe to handle. :-)
I'm 39 and live with 3 kids, 19, 15 and 10, a cornsnake, a bird and a gecko and I live in Alberta.
Love and light,
Diana
RECIPE FOR RECOVERY
1.) Minimum half hour of sunshine daily (melatonin fights against seasonal depression)
2.) Eat protein every 2 to 3 hours (keeps blood sugars level) Examples of protein are fish, beef, eggs, nuts, cheese, milk.
3.) Do at least 3 fun things in a week. (laughter releases endorphins)
4.) Stop smoking - it'll eliminate cravings of any addictive substance because of the hand-to-mouth action triggers
5.) Drink water - cleans the system out and go look at the original water post
6.) Exercise - again with the endorphins. :-)
7.) Sleep - don't use drug of choice in your bedroom. Your brain needs to know the bedroom is for sleeping and sex only !!!
Welcome to the board, I encourage you to read thru ALL the posts as there is a ton of great information. You have alot of great goals, that is incredible ! You can do it ! Some do this quitting thing cold turkey, some taper.
Meanwhile, here is a recipe for recovery that has worked for me. Of course giving yourself permission to attempt only one thing at a time is a good idea. Changing your lifestyle is a slow but steady process. Something as small as just eating breakfast changes you.
I stopped smoking weed in September of 2005, had a slip around the the 6 month mark but have been sober since. I also stopped drinking at the time, lost a few friends and I see a nutritionist regularily due to chrohns' disease. It works !!! Diet absolutely works !!!!! Plus I've managed to lose 15 lbs so far. I also recommend getting bloodwork done, as I found out I was very close to anemic, due to the blood loss. Yoga is awesome, too !!!
I go to meetings at a womens' shelter, where I'm working on self-esteem issues. My husband and I are in marriage counselling trying to figure out why he's such an a** towards me when I'm in desperate need of some emotional tending to as most women are.
My husband still smokes pot daily which sucks, but I have no control over him, only management over me. I gave his problem to the universe to handle. :-)
I'm 39 and live with 3 kids, 19, 15 and 10, a cornsnake, a bird and a gecko and I live in Alberta.
Love and light,
Diana
RECIPE FOR RECOVERY
1.) Minimum half hour of sunshine daily (melatonin fights against seasonal depression)
2.) Eat protein every 2 to 3 hours (keeps blood sugars level) Examples of protein are fish, beef, eggs, nuts, cheese, milk.
3.) Do at least 3 fun things in a week. (laughter releases endorphins)
4.) Stop smoking - it'll eliminate cravings of any addictive substance because of the hand-to-mouth action triggers
5.) Drink water - cleans the system out and go look at the original water post
6.) Exercise - again with the endorphins. :-)
7.) Sleep - don't use drug of choice in your bedroom. Your brain needs to know the bedroom is for sleeping and sex only !!!
hello athena
welcome to our cyberspace. good to see some fresh names on the board. i completely agree with every thing wonderwomen said. she is always spreading good, positive vibes here. i think the first step for quiting is to decide that you really want to. it is tough at first, but gets easier faster than you might think.my husband and i quit 158 days ago.we had been heavy, chronic smokers for about 20 years. cold turkey was the way for us. but everyone is different. a really big part of early recovery is staying busy. you will have to find some thing to occupy the time you used to spend smoking.wish you the best of luck. keep posting and reading. the board was a big help to us in the early days.
welcome to our cyberspace. good to see some fresh names on the board. i completely agree with every thing wonderwomen said. she is always spreading good, positive vibes here. i think the first step for quiting is to decide that you really want to. it is tough at first, but gets easier faster than you might think.my husband and i quit 158 days ago.we had been heavy, chronic smokers for about 20 years. cold turkey was the way for us. but everyone is different. a really big part of early recovery is staying busy. you will have to find some thing to occupy the time you used to spend smoking.wish you the best of luck. keep posting and reading. the board was a big help to us in the early days.
