Help And Support Needed Partner Of Addict

Hi, My love is an opioid addict. He has recently relapse and confessed to me that he has been using. I tried for 2 weeks now to get him to tell me with out causing the kayos and I wasn't sure if I was right. (scared to bring it up so he would lie and drowned it with more pills) You see I have known alot of people and have alot of experience with the signs of addiction and the effects of trying to fight for loved ones to stop it. Well two nights ago he was all scattered and really showing signs and itching hidding from me and the whole works. SO I just popped and mocked his itching and he felt bad in his heart and when he was about to go hid and hit I stopped him with one last comment and one last question. DO you need to tell me something...? I'm using again fell outta his mouth. He says its only been two weeks now. But I'm not positive that is true. The part that sucks is I know this all to well... :'-) My truth is I'm dying inside. I currently have ptsd from damage from a past relationship. I was beaten, lie to, conned, and thousands of dollars milked outta my accounts. I'm afraid now I'm reliving it again. Accept this time: I'm not totally uneducated about all the tricks. I want to just cut my wrist and make it all go away I'm out thousands of dollars due to our relationship. I'm not sure if hes working me or doe truely love me. Because its a short relapse he doesn't want to get help and quit through the two of us but the last 24 hours hes milking everything we can get. How the hell do I stay strong and help him through this? Today he begged me to go with him and stay by his side bc he doesn't want to be alone. (Truth Hes just scarred I'm going to leave and making me baby him) Well he picked up pills from some dirty girl.. I snapped told her if she ever f***ing talks to him or sells him another pill I will report her a** scream in the gas station parking lot she was a pill seller and took her license plate. I've changed all the contacts in his phone and deleted the true numbers that he has been using to get them. Hey he asked me to support him getting off these in my defense. I know he still has them some where but its atleast a stull point for him. I know he will go underground lock his phone and start hiding every thing now. But he atleast he knows I'm ready to fight for him. But now I know he will lie cheat beg barrow and steal if hes truely not ready. So I'm blogging for more supports in what to do next. He will not due rehab or out side help. If I leave him or make him leave he will go full blown out and smother him self with drugs. any help or support out there?
Please even if you know about opioids from a personal perspective. Help tell me what I can do to counter act his addiction!
Ultimately there is nothing you can do to counteract his addiction. all the phone things and threats to this girl is only making your OWN life more stressful/unbearable. You don't deserve/need that. you can support/be strong for him if he GETS clean, but not until then. Saying you 'want' to get clean is said over and over..it's just a broken record until he REALLY wants to, to the point of doing it. if you step aside maybe he will maybe he won't., but if you are by his side the whole time I think it's less likely he will. either way what he does is NOT on you, I KNOW it's not easy but your health and wellbeing should come first. so hopefully he turns his s*** around but until then please stay strong for you... -Mary
Yes, I've been down this road one to many times before. You are so very correct! Personal I turn in to a monster for the fight against opioids and I'm not so nice about it. So venting helps before I pop open n actual life. Thanks for posting back and its helpful. Stressful on my life is so very true.. I do intend on stepping aside just with the nicest most supportive vote for recovery. It does all come down to exactly that.... He has to want to for him self and our child!