Hello all... such courage it takes all of us to talk about the hopelessness of addiction. I would appreciate any input on how to respond to my 8 year old grand daughter who states" I guess my dad just got tired of being my dad". I don't want to scare or overwhelm her, but simply telling her that her dad is sick seems like another line of b.s.....like she has gotten from my son for the past several years. Thanks for any thoughts!
Hi Libby, I had one of my grand daughters little friends over to play at my house about a month ago. It was the first time she had been over as she's new to my GD class but a sweet little girl. She proudly announced to me " I live with my dad because my mommy s a drug addict" she is ten years old. Whether behind closed doors she gets upset about it. I don't know. There are so many of these abandoned kids nowadays. My grand daughter is one of them and lives with my husband and i. She sees her mom quite often but her dad she's lucky if she sees him once every 4 month. I just got sick of the making of excuses saying they were sick all the time. Why the hell should our little ones worry over their addict parents being sick when their not. I was done having her feeling sad or worried about mommy and daddy not being well. When they didn't care enough about her to get sober and make a life for her? We told my grand daughter one night as gently as we could and she was sad but she always knew something wasn't right with her parents because of how they would act. She said she thought they were drunk. So now she knows. It's easier to talk to her about drugs now and why she shouldn't take them. Only you know your grand daughter well enough to know when to tell her. I've had my grand daughter for 7-8 years now, she is 10 yrs old. She is very settled and this is the only home or life she remembers...thank God! Good luck Libby, it's sad for the kids and I guess we'll never know how this will affect them until their adults themselves. All we can do is give them (the grandkids) a life so filled with love and security that hopefully they'll never feel they lost out not having a mom and dad around growing up. My grand daughter never expects anything from her parents anymore and doesn't have the big let downs now either. She knows what's going on. I still think it's sad she's had to live this kind of life but she is as happy and well adjusted as the day is long. There's so many kids just like them. Take care. Mary.
Libby...i don't know if your son sees her or not. I'm definitly no expert as im a recovering addict myself. I was always in my sons life but there was a period when his dad was gone and had to make excuses as well. (same, he's gone/sick etc) Maybe try saying "your dad loves you but doesn't know how to be a good dad right now..when he sees you he wants to be a good dad" maybe she will ask questions and things will sort of unfold. Tough age...though any is. She's getting more of a understanding..kids are so much smarter then we realize sometimes. Much strength to you for trying to do and say what's best..and most importantly being there for her....that's for you too Mary
P.s. Mary didn't mean to steal your sunflower..lol
Libby,
I think kids are a lot smarter and more in tune than we give them credit for. I think you can be honest and age appropriate at the same time. I think you could say her daddy is sick because of drugs. And then if she has any questions you could answer them as she asks them. I think the unknown is scarier for little kids than knowing.
Michelle
I think kids are a lot smarter and more in tune than we give them credit for. I think you can be honest and age appropriate at the same time. I think you could say her daddy is sick because of drugs. And then if she has any questions you could answer them as she asks them. I think the unknown is scarier for little kids than knowing.
Michelle
lol Marykat, Here you can have one too! Mary.
Libby when i was 7 my parents divorced and I am their only child so everybody from parents to grandparents wanted me to live with them so judge asked me what I want and I said what ... I was brought up by my father parents and had absolutely marvelous upbringing then I moved between my mum and dad but by then i was already 14 ! My father explained to me everything about divorce when I was 7 year old and why it came to that , he talked to me like I am grown up of course I dont remember everything but some bits i do and dont forget today kids are much more advanced then we were back then . .. Marykat gave you great advice about what to tell her. I wouldnt say cold truth simply because she is still young to know all the cold facts in time yes but not yet so you will have to be very careful not to lie but not to tell how it is..sorry, my heart goes to her
