I had 9 months of no drinking and my life improved. 3 months ago, I fell off and began drinking again. Usually beer or wine. If its beer, its not1 or 2, its 5,6,7 or 8. If its wine its a whole bottle, sometimes more. I have two kids, 5 and 6 years old. I want sooo badly to raise them well. I think the biggest problem I have is my neighbors across the street from us. Their 2 kids are the same age as my two kids. They go to school togther, play together but their frequent parties or "BBQs' with other local neighbors are quite tempting. But I feel terrible the next day when most of the time I don't even remember coming home. Which means that I was an irresponsible Mom. And I want better than that. Plus I'm on celexa(antianxiety medication which works well but alcohol interferes with its efficiency). I become irritable, very impatient, anf find myself yelling a lot like my alcoholic mom who is now deseased. I told my hubby the other night I have a drinking problem and he didn't seem to think so. Well, I know so. I acn't stop when I start. Please someone have any tips? The AA meetings around here are all in the evening at 7pm but my hubby isn't home from work until 8:30 or so. And we are watching our bucks with babysitting and don't have a regular one I trust anyway. please help... Thanks for listening. Diane T.
Dear Diane,
You sound like me ten years ago. It was the whole picture, neighbours, kids are friends etc.
To make a long story short, I decided that I wasn't going to let them tell me when they were older, "If you weren't such a drunk when I was growing up....", or, "I'm like this because you were always drinking", or, "my life sucks because you were never there for me". Or, (this is a good one for the older child to rub in your face,) "What are you talking about, I was the one who raised little Jimmy cause you were always drunk!".
Its just that I thought ahead, way ahead, and I didn't like what I saw.
In every senerio that I thought of, where alchol was involved with me, just didn't look good.
Yes, I am an alcoholic.
Every night. all my money. And I thought I was having a good time.
I was living in a town house, and all the backyards were together. It was late and I was at the neighbours in the end unit. While I was drunk, there came my little daughter with her younger brother in tow to come and get me to come home, as she had done many times before.
"Mommy come home now"
"Yes sweetheart, I will in a few minutes"
"Mommy come home now"
"Allllright, I will in a couple of minutes".
And that went on for a little while longer. Then,
"MOMMY COME HOME NOW".
Somehow, this time it was different. I woke up to the whole situation right then and there. I got up, said good night to all, and took my children home.
For the next little while I did alot of soul searching. I stayed away from the party crowd, and kept busy. I felt pretty down.
I became stronger. When I could finally go out to the backyard, I always made sure I had a can of pop with me because I knew they would try to get me to drink (which they did), but I stayed strong.
In two years I saved enough money to put a small deposit on a tiny home.
We moved.
The mistake I made when I stopped drinking, was that I replaced the alcohol with tylonols. Just don't make that mistake o'kay?
(The drug use was easy to hide and became a problem. I am fighting it to this day.)
Now I have 3 children. My oldest is 22. We talk. And when the subject comes up, they tell me they are grateful and thankful that they didn't have to endure a drunken parent like many of there friends did.
It was the one of the best, and most important decisions I had ever made, and I'm so glad I did.
I always said to myself that if I ever wanted to drink again that I could, but I would have to wait until the children were all grown up.
I hope you will be able to take something from this and use it for yourself.
What ever it takes for you to sober up, do it. You won't regret it, I promise you that. My e-mail is: phar3@hotmail.com if you like.
Stay strong,
Nancy
You sound like me ten years ago. It was the whole picture, neighbours, kids are friends etc.
To make a long story short, I decided that I wasn't going to let them tell me when they were older, "If you weren't such a drunk when I was growing up....", or, "I'm like this because you were always drinking", or, "my life sucks because you were never there for me". Or, (this is a good one for the older child to rub in your face,) "What are you talking about, I was the one who raised little Jimmy cause you were always drunk!".
Its just that I thought ahead, way ahead, and I didn't like what I saw.
In every senerio that I thought of, where alchol was involved with me, just didn't look good.
Yes, I am an alcoholic.
Every night. all my money. And I thought I was having a good time.
I was living in a town house, and all the backyards were together. It was late and I was at the neighbours in the end unit. While I was drunk, there came my little daughter with her younger brother in tow to come and get me to come home, as she had done many times before.
"Mommy come home now"
"Yes sweetheart, I will in a few minutes"
"Mommy come home now"
"Allllright, I will in a couple of minutes".
And that went on for a little while longer. Then,
"MOMMY COME HOME NOW".
Somehow, this time it was different. I woke up to the whole situation right then and there. I got up, said good night to all, and took my children home.
For the next little while I did alot of soul searching. I stayed away from the party crowd, and kept busy. I felt pretty down.
I became stronger. When I could finally go out to the backyard, I always made sure I had a can of pop with me because I knew they would try to get me to drink (which they did), but I stayed strong.
In two years I saved enough money to put a small deposit on a tiny home.
We moved.
The mistake I made when I stopped drinking, was that I replaced the alcohol with tylonols. Just don't make that mistake o'kay?
(The drug use was easy to hide and became a problem. I am fighting it to this day.)
Now I have 3 children. My oldest is 22. We talk. And when the subject comes up, they tell me they are grateful and thankful that they didn't have to endure a drunken parent like many of there friends did.
It was the one of the best, and most important decisions I had ever made, and I'm so glad I did.
I always said to myself that if I ever wanted to drink again that I could, but I would have to wait until the children were all grown up.
I hope you will be able to take something from this and use it for yourself.
What ever it takes for you to sober up, do it. You won't regret it, I promise you that. My e-mail is: phar3@hotmail.com if you like.
Stay strong,
Nancy
I found this site by accident this morning and want to put my hand out there. I have stopped drinking 18 days ago and I was the bottle/bottle and a half of wine an evening. And of course the BBQ's would beer me up pretty good. I have been taking my Mother to her day program for bing drinking for the past two weeks and that is what opened my eyes. I too have a husband who still isn't sure Im an alcoholic. It doesn't matter what they call us we know we can be better. Im still uncomfortable thinking about having fun sober but I hear it comes with time. I have two kids myself and want to lead by example. I just want to be proud and know I did everything in my power to be a wonderful Mom.
My name is rosy - i am a recovering alcoholic have been for some years now - my husband died through alcohol addiction - i was not aware of addiction at the time -
firstly if you know your an alcoholic then that is a great step - sometimes people who are not alcoholic do not want to acknowlegde that their loved ones are - sort of the same as an alcoholic doesnt want to admit it either
But this is a warning for all who have managed to stay of the alcohol - be very wary - you are an addict for life - do not do what i have done - i have now become a drug addict - through getting addicted to pain pills prescribed to me by my doctor - their was a substance in the pain pill that is adictive called codiene - I asked my doctor at the time if they were addictive and he said yes but we would sort that problem out later after the pain problem was sorted - well the problem was never sorted and the codiene became like the alcohol - my friend - enabling me to get through the day etc etc - i have scince graduated to a higher addictive tablet containing codiene and have increased my intake - now the battle is on for me to get away from this nightmare i am in again.
I am just warning alcoholics to be aware that there is substances in many things such as mouthwash, cough mixtures etc that you can become addicted to - you need to be like the person whos body cannot withstand wheat, yeast or whatever - make sure you read the labels - ask the doctor (and if he tells you it is addictive and still gives it to you - reach him back the script and say that you have more scence than that - and he should know the danger he is putting you in).
Lots of luck to everyone in recovery and lots of luck to those who have just seen the light (ie know they have an addiction problem)
lol rosy
firstly if you know your an alcoholic then that is a great step - sometimes people who are not alcoholic do not want to acknowlegde that their loved ones are - sort of the same as an alcoholic doesnt want to admit it either
But this is a warning for all who have managed to stay of the alcohol - be very wary - you are an addict for life - do not do what i have done - i have now become a drug addict - through getting addicted to pain pills prescribed to me by my doctor - their was a substance in the pain pill that is adictive called codiene - I asked my doctor at the time if they were addictive and he said yes but we would sort that problem out later after the pain problem was sorted - well the problem was never sorted and the codiene became like the alcohol - my friend - enabling me to get through the day etc etc - i have scince graduated to a higher addictive tablet containing codiene and have increased my intake - now the battle is on for me to get away from this nightmare i am in again.
I am just warning alcoholics to be aware that there is substances in many things such as mouthwash, cough mixtures etc that you can become addicted to - you need to be like the person whos body cannot withstand wheat, yeast or whatever - make sure you read the labels - ask the doctor (and if he tells you it is addictive and still gives it to you - reach him back the script and say that you have more scence than that - and he should know the danger he is putting you in).
Lots of luck to everyone in recovery and lots of luck to those who have just seen the light (ie know they have an addiction problem)
lol rosy
Dear Lynn, Nancy and Rosy, Thank each and everyone of you for your feedback. Rosy, I am sorry to hear about the codiene addiction. I was there also, after a knee surgery. I was taking 7-10 vicodin a day. Finally I had to stop but I had a few days of withdrawls and very rstless sleep. Good luck with you getting and staying off. Diane
Dear Lynn, My hats off to you girl! You got 18 days, thats awsome! And having been there before it does geteasier to have fun especially if you are hanging around other friends who are sober. The reason (or one of them ) I am choosing to get sober after 3 months of binging is because I'm not comfortable with what I'm doing. Its not me anymore, Ive cleaned up my act so much that this just feels so not right. Keep up the good work. Diane
Hi everybody,
I am the one who wrote scary hospital stay. I am in the same boat as all of you. I read an amazing book called Rational Recovery. Everytime I used to think about quitting drinking I would become anxious. I would think in my head "Well maybe I'll have a drink at so and so's wedding" and the list of drinking oppertunities went on.Sometimes I was able to have just a few drinks but I would sooner or later push the limit. I now consider myself a non-drinker. I do not keep track of how many days I have been sober because I plan on never drinking again - so why bother keeping track.I don't go to AA only because I find we have nothing in common other than drinking, and I don't find sitting around talking about old drinking stories helpful for me. I do not want to think about my drinking problem everyday.So I have taken up rock climbing. I am training to run a half marathon, and I hang around people who do not drink. It's funny because when I drank I thought everyone drank. I now notice there are alot of people who are fun who choose not to drink. It is my choice to pick up that drink, there is no disease out there that can force us pick up a drink and bring it to our mouth. It is all about controlling our minds.I wish everyone the best. Please do not think I am knocking AA or do not believe in alcholism. I am just providing a new way of looking at the situation.One that has helped me.
I am the one who wrote scary hospital stay. I am in the same boat as all of you. I read an amazing book called Rational Recovery. Everytime I used to think about quitting drinking I would become anxious. I would think in my head "Well maybe I'll have a drink at so and so's wedding" and the list of drinking oppertunities went on.Sometimes I was able to have just a few drinks but I would sooner or later push the limit. I now consider myself a non-drinker. I do not keep track of how many days I have been sober because I plan on never drinking again - so why bother keeping track.I don't go to AA only because I find we have nothing in common other than drinking, and I don't find sitting around talking about old drinking stories helpful for me. I do not want to think about my drinking problem everyday.So I have taken up rock climbing. I am training to run a half marathon, and I hang around people who do not drink. It's funny because when I drank I thought everyone drank. I now notice there are alot of people who are fun who choose not to drink. It is my choice to pick up that drink, there is no disease out there that can force us pick up a drink and bring it to our mouth. It is all about controlling our minds.I wish everyone the best. Please do not think I am knocking AA or do not believe in alcholism. I am just providing a new way of looking at the situation.One that has helped me.
Hi
Im 27 years old live by myself, own my home and have a good job. I also have an alcohol and ecstacy abuse problems. I say abuse problems rather than addiction as I can go for say 2 weeks without either and feel no physical impact. I have social anxiety disorder which means I drink or take drugs to overcome the anxiety I feel in social situations. At first I thought I only had a problem with ecstacy abuse, but after reading some of your responses I can see I really do have an alcohol problem also. I start off just having a drink with dinner one night, a few drinks with friends another day, and then binges in nightclubs where I've done things Im so ashamed of. I always think I can stop at that one drink with dinner, but I cant control it. This is only my first week in, but I plan to cut out all alcohol and ecstacy.
Fingers Crossed
Donna
Im 27 years old live by myself, own my home and have a good job. I also have an alcohol and ecstacy abuse problems. I say abuse problems rather than addiction as I can go for say 2 weeks without either and feel no physical impact. I have social anxiety disorder which means I drink or take drugs to overcome the anxiety I feel in social situations. At first I thought I only had a problem with ecstacy abuse, but after reading some of your responses I can see I really do have an alcohol problem also. I start off just having a drink with dinner one night, a few drinks with friends another day, and then binges in nightclubs where I've done things Im so ashamed of. I always think I can stop at that one drink with dinner, but I cant control it. This is only my first week in, but I plan to cut out all alcohol and ecstacy.
Fingers Crossed
Donna
Hi Diane,
I am a recovering alcoholic and have been trying to use the twelve steps of A.A. for the past 7 years. I have remained dry for 7 years now but maybe not always sober. I feel I need the help of other people in addiction on a constant basis to stay away from a drink a day at a time. From my own experience alcoholism is a disease and my medication is going to meetings and talking to others who can help me. My children have definately benifited from my recovery and I feel I am a mam who is there today for them. They saved my life and gave me the courage to stay away from a drink . I have no desire to drink today and enjoy being sober for myself. It is a miricle I am alive today, and I enjoy life to the full. There is hope for you and you do not have to do this on your own.
I hope to hear from you soon ,
you have a choice today but alcohol will take it away.
Ann
I am a recovering alcoholic and have been trying to use the twelve steps of A.A. for the past 7 years. I have remained dry for 7 years now but maybe not always sober. I feel I need the help of other people in addiction on a constant basis to stay away from a drink a day at a time. From my own experience alcoholism is a disease and my medication is going to meetings and talking to others who can help me. My children have definately benifited from my recovery and I feel I am a mam who is there today for them. They saved my life and gave me the courage to stay away from a drink . I have no desire to drink today and enjoy being sober for myself. It is a miricle I am alive today, and I enjoy life to the full. There is hope for you and you do not have to do this on your own.
I hope to hear from you soon ,
you have a choice today but alcohol will take it away.
Ann
I am 22 years old now and have tried for the last couple of years to remain alcohol free. I drank heavily before the age of 19. I started out with beer, then went to liqour. The more I drank, the better I felt. But in the end I realized that it was not helping me. So I asked myself what was I even drinking for. So I made a vow to try and stop drinking. Since then I have only drank a few times. But each time that I do drink I am reminded of some of the mistakes that I have made.The worse part of drinking that I could have done was to marry an alcoholic. I have been seperated from my husband since April of 2003. He was the type that did not want to work, and became more dependent on alcohol. I was determined not to end up like him. He eventually left my home and lived on the streets of the town I am from. A few months after he left my home he was picked up by the police for shop lifting. And of course you can guess that he was picked up for shop lifting a bottle of beer. He was taken to jail and was released a few months later, after he had served his time. But was back in just after 1 week ! This time for a violation of probation : drinking ! I have often seen that stress plays a big factor in someone going back to drinking. But it is okay to make mistakes. No one is perfect. The first step in our recovery is admitting that we are not perfect, we made a mistake and we are willing to work on correcting our mistakes and that we as humans need/deserve another chance.
I recently slipped up and had a couple of shots of rum myself. I felt bad about it nad sought help. I know that this may seem like something minor compared to some of the things that everyone else is going through, but if I could slip up and take a few shots of liquor, what else could it lead to ? So after taking those shots I realized that my body was craving the alcohol. I will tell you that the cravins are enough alone to drive anybody crazy. I sought help and I am on the road to a long and I'm sure to be a meaningful recovery. I am fortunate to have a better half that understands (he has been there himself and knows what it is like to go through my current situation), and the good Lord above. We as addicts are not alone. I hope that each and everyone of us can recover to our fullest potential. May God bless you all.
I recently slipped up and had a couple of shots of rum myself. I felt bad about it nad sought help. I know that this may seem like something minor compared to some of the things that everyone else is going through, but if I could slip up and take a few shots of liquor, what else could it lead to ? So after taking those shots I realized that my body was craving the alcohol. I will tell you that the cravins are enough alone to drive anybody crazy. I sought help and I am on the road to a long and I'm sure to be a meaningful recovery. I am fortunate to have a better half that understands (he has been there himself and knows what it is like to go through my current situation), and the good Lord above. We as addicts are not alone. I hope that each and everyone of us can recover to our fullest potential. May God bless you all.
Hi,
I am a mother of four and my husband is self-employed, very had worker, but not compassionate to people who abuse...Like myself, I drink not to feel the pain of loneliness, the fustration of the kids,(i.e I want that, why can't I have that, and the ungratefullness of everything I do for them including my husband) I guess I feel a little self pitty. My mother, brother, and father are also drinkers. They suffer from depression too. I am the happiest of the crowd. When I can be myself and feel the joy I give people I am alright. But when the complaining starts I head for the bottle....I can't stop now...but want too...
I am a mother of four and my husband is self-employed, very had worker, but not compassionate to people who abuse...Like myself, I drink not to feel the pain of loneliness, the fustration of the kids,(i.e I want that, why can't I have that, and the ungratefullness of everything I do for them including my husband) I guess I feel a little self pitty. My mother, brother, and father are also drinkers. They suffer from depression too. I am the happiest of the crowd. When I can be myself and feel the joy I give people I am alright. But when the complaining starts I head for the bottle....I can't stop now...but want too...
rbell12@cogeco.ca
I ended 40yrs. of alcohol abuse and all the cravings and insanity that went along with it in one week at www.lenair-alcohol.com. Check it out!!
I ended 40yrs. of alcohol abuse and all the cravings and insanity that went along with it in one week at www.lenair-alcohol.com. Check it out!!
