Help Me With This

I still have about 2 weeks until I go to treatment, and the last two days have been a living hell. I can't sleep at all, I either cry all the time or feel like i want to cry all the time. I can't stand to be around anyone, they get on my nerves so bad, I just want to rip their head off. I feel like I'm sinking in such a deep depression, that i'll never get out, and now i'm beginning to wonder if treatment will even help me. Is this the devil trying to convince me to stay on the pills, or what the hell is going on. I really feel like i'm losing my mind. Can somebody help me out, and tell me why my world feels like it's caving in on me all of the sudden. It kind of feels like i'm surrounded by death, or death is knocking at my door. I don't know, it's so hard to explain. I just wish I could figure it out, it's about to drive me crazy.
I hven't been following your thread (if you've ever posted). Are you on an antidepressant? If not, it sounds like you need one badly (or a different one if you are already on one.) They can make all the difference in your outlook on life. Perhaps you could call your doctor's office and tell him/her how you feel and that you need something to help you over the next few weeks.

Of course you're going to feel differently. Your body is used to having its fix and doesn't like doing without and is telling you that. On the other hand, it sounds like you have weighed the cost and know how much more healthy you will be without the devils. Depression is a super hard thing to deal with, especially alone. You might find it helpful to keep a journal and write down what you are experiencing. Somehow, the writing and telling helps many....sort of a cheap psychiatrist. Keep in mind that although your appointment is a long time to wait, you only have to do it a day at a time. Try not to think of it as so far away....just one day, then the next and the next.

My daughter, who is pill dependent for pain, experienced what you are going through and cried all or a great portion of the day for a long period. She finally was put on another antidepressan and it has made a great deal of difference, so don't give up.

((((((Hugs))))))) and prayers. There are many who care here.
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I don't know, it's so hard to explain. I just wish I could figure it out, it's about to drive me crazy


You don't have to explain it.Everyone here understands exactly where you are coming from.It's the psychological and physical torture from withdrawls.
Are you completely off all oxy's now or are you tapering down before treatment?
It's going to get better.........you are not going mad.

One thing I suggest you do is find a Narcotics Anonymous meeting where you live.Go there and share what you are going through.Someone will reach out to you.There is no reason to sit here and go through this alone.

I'll post a number to help you locate a meeting.

1-818-773-9999
sweetheart............we know what you mean...........

please please get out of the house and go for a walk...

make yourself.........

make sure your drinking a few glasses of water everyday.........

PRAY.........
you have power over your thoughts and keep telling yourself that......

we understand every word in your post.....
so i just said a prayer for you my dear........

please follow the advice that Tim gave you about meetings........

go and take your life back.....
it will help you to be around other people.........
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love
thumper

addicted2oxy:
YES! it is the devil trying to tell you treatment will not work! oxy's are hard to withdraw off of, is there anyway you can get into treatment any sooner? i would call the place you are planning to go to and tell them how miserabe you feel.
treament is the answer honey, you may not feel that now cuz you are so miserable, you shouldnt have to suffer this 2 week window period with nothing!
i found that when i was going the cold turkey route, it spawned some awful panic and anxiety issues, i was helped by taking a short term dose of klonipin.julie/jewels
Thanks guys for all your love and support, it means so much to me. I'm still taking the oxy's till I go in for medical detox a few days before i go to treatment. I'm going to go to a NA meeting tomorrow night. I am on a antidepressant and a mood stabilizer, but I can't tell if they're helping or not, maybe cause i've been on them so many years. I really appreciate all your alls love and support, I can't tell you how much it means to me. I feel so alone out here and it really sucks sometimes. I live with a house full of people, but they don't seem to understand what I'm going through. My prayers are with you all also. God Bless!
well....we understand honey........

and we pray for you to have a wonderful sober life in recovery....

please keep posting...........

God bless you to.........

thumper
I spoke with my daughter yesterday. The drug that made the breakthrough in the crying was Zyprexa. It does have other negative things going for it, but for her it was just what she needed to break the cycle of daily tears. Hope the time passes quickly for you. Love and prayers.