We just found out that a family member is on heroin. She is shooting up everyday and selling. Our problem is we don't know what to do next. She has only told two other people about this, she is going into the city everyday to buy it, which is not very safe. Also she said that she was wanting to quit and get her life on track and was going to the city to buy "soboxyn" to help with the withdrawals. Has anyone ever heard of this drug? I am so scared that she is not going to a doctor to get this and buying it off the streets. There are only four people who know about her using. But she only has actually told 2 of the four. We want to get her grandfather involved. They used to be very close and if she does decide to get real help and go into a rehab facility he will have to be the one to provide the funds for that. But if we tell him, he is going to be very upset and obviously confront her and we are scared that will make it worse, and she will not speak to any of us. Any suggestions? Also, I keep reading about rehab clinics and methadone being used and sometimes that is worse than being on heroin. I am scared that she will get hurt using but then also scared if she gets help it will hurt her too? The family is all new to this so we have no idea which way to go next, hound her over and over or leave her be until she decides to get help? Any info that can be provided either from family memebers or current/present users would be helpful!! Thanks
i,m sorry to have to say this but u or her grampa or anyone else for that matter putting her into rehab or detox will not work.She has to be the one to make that choice and only when she is good and ready or you will be throwing good money away.I totally understand you wanting to help her but as i,ve said it has to be her decision.Suboxone or subutex are widely used drugs for coming off but its better if she goes down this road with clinical supervision.You will have to talk with her and try and understand what it is she really wants as it can be a long drawn out heartbreaking time for people who care,just have a look at the families board..eck
Aw, Eckie, that was perfect. I responded on the Family board.
Hun,
Ecks right YOU can't decide what to do next about their addiction because it isn't your decision. You can only be there when they decide.
k
Ecks right YOU can't decide what to do next about their addiction because it isn't your decision. You can only be there when they decide.
k
Hey big sis, yeah she needs to do it for herself, i know you mean well, but try not to pressurise her into doing anything, as the help might get thrown back in your face. Just be there. What i know is when i was ready, really ready, my family were there for me. Take care, Kev
I am the other sis to BigSis2 and want to thank her for doing this posting...I love you very much sis and also want to thank each of you who have replied. We have read a lot of info on Heroin over the last couple weeks since finding out and every story seems filled with pain and sorrow. Every story seems filled with detox, relapse...detox, relapse. Does the vicious cycle ever stop??? In addition to being so scared for her and so lost on what to do, we are also concerned with how we got to this point, or more important, how she got to this point? Do we focus on the addiction first, or the depression and mental and emotional struggles she has?
She talks as though she is lost inside her own mind (those are her words)...how does one help with that? How do family members who love so much and want to help so much just sit back and watch?
She talks as though she is lost inside her own mind (those are her words)...how does one help with that? How do family members who love so much and want to help so much just sit back and watch?
It isn't easy...it sucks, actually...can be very painful. Not for nothing do they say addiction is a family disease. My daughter is also depressive with a very long history...diagnosed with severe recurring depression at the age of 12...and they turned out to be right. I believe the drug use was an attempt to self-medicate...she has said that the only time she feels "like everyone else" is when she's using, but she doesn't want that life.
I also believe that while it is possible to stop using without treating the depression, meaningful recovery can only be attained once the underlying disorder is treated as well. The whole thing becomes sort of a chicken-or-egg thing...which came first? Which needs treatment first? I will tell you that a little clean time does help them to see that there's stuff they need to deal with.
As for how and why she/you got there...no family is immune to addiction. If you look at some of the picture threads on this site you will see some of the loveliest, best educated, funniest, smartest people you'll ever hope to meet. All it takes is for that one experiment in a badly wired brain and BAM! An addict is born.
Andf yes, the cycle does stop sometimes...we have many recovering addicts who post here on the heroin board, but here's the good news - they're too busy living and loving life to post at the moment! Davey, GYAC, jackofhartz, Dee4life, Zekk...all working a strong recovery, all beacons in the darkness.
This thing is in its infancy in your family, but seeking information is an excellent start..forewarned is forearmed and knowledge is power. Get to an AlAnon meeting...you don't have to say a word...just listen. Hang in there.
Peace~MomNMore
I also believe that while it is possible to stop using without treating the depression, meaningful recovery can only be attained once the underlying disorder is treated as well. The whole thing becomes sort of a chicken-or-egg thing...which came first? Which needs treatment first? I will tell you that a little clean time does help them to see that there's stuff they need to deal with.
As for how and why she/you got there...no family is immune to addiction. If you look at some of the picture threads on this site you will see some of the loveliest, best educated, funniest, smartest people you'll ever hope to meet. All it takes is for that one experiment in a badly wired brain and BAM! An addict is born.
Andf yes, the cycle does stop sometimes...we have many recovering addicts who post here on the heroin board, but here's the good news - they're too busy living and loving life to post at the moment! Davey, GYAC, jackofhartz, Dee4life, Zekk...all working a strong recovery, all beacons in the darkness.
This thing is in its infancy in your family, but seeking information is an excellent start..forewarned is forearmed and knowledge is power. Get to an AlAnon meeting...you don't have to say a word...just listen. Hang in there.
Peace~MomNMore
An update...
We found out she got arrested Saturday night. The boyfriend I mentioned earlier got out of jail, came to her house and OD. She called 911, they came, searched her too, found stuff in her purse. They took him to hospital and took her to jail. He is now at the jail also. I had her mom come iver yesterday and we talked about it, and called her grandpa as well. Now everyone knows. Her bond is $30,000.00 so she needs $3,000.00 to get out. This may sound cruel but we have all agreed that she needs to stay in jail for the time being. The only one that has the money to get her out anyways is her grandpa and he is very hurt right now as he has bailed her out in other situations in the past. Now, we are all scared though that she will be in jail for 30 days like the boyfriend, get out, use again and OD. There is no easy answer with this I am learning.
We found out she got arrested Saturday night. The boyfriend I mentioned earlier got out of jail, came to her house and OD. She called 911, they came, searched her too, found stuff in her purse. They took him to hospital and took her to jail. He is now at the jail also. I had her mom come iver yesterday and we talked about it, and called her grandpa as well. Now everyone knows. Her bond is $30,000.00 so she needs $3,000.00 to get out. This may sound cruel but we have all agreed that she needs to stay in jail for the time being. The only one that has the money to get her out anyways is her grandpa and he is very hurt right now as he has bailed her out in other situations in the past. Now, we are all scared though that she will be in jail for 30 days like the boyfriend, get out, use again and OD. There is no easy answer with this I am learning.
Just can't believe that we officially found out just over a month ago and already she is in jail. We all agree that it is great, in a sick way, that for the next 30 days we at least know where she is at and that she is for the most part safe. We know she will be angry at us and try to play the guilt trip on leaving her there, however, it is the start of getting her clean. Our brother mentioned that if she had been arrested for almost anything else, he would have found any way possible to get the money together to get her out...I have to say, I agree.
We have learned so much in the past two days...many things that we could not have even imagined. What a life she has lived without us knowing. We are hopeful that this will be the start of her wanting real help....fingers crossed, yet prepared that this is just one of several roller coaster rides.
We are so glad about all the success stories and look forward to adding our sisters story to the list!!!
We have learned so much in the past two days...many things that we could not have even imagined. What a life she has lived without us knowing. We are hopeful that this will be the start of her wanting real help....fingers crossed, yet prepared that this is just one of several roller coaster rides.
We are so glad about all the success stories and look forward to adding our sisters story to the list!!!
My mum used to say to me ....." at least when you were in the jail, i knew where you were every night"...
Maybe this is a good thing for her, will she get detoxed in the jail??
The first thing, i feel, i needed to oncentrate on was my addiction to drugs, once i saw to that everything else i could deal with. If i tried to deal with all the sh*t in my life i usually relapsed. It's not for everybody, but for me, going to NA really helped me stay clean, and it still does to this day....
wishing you all the best, Kev
Maybe this is a good thing for her, will she get detoxed in the jail??
The first thing, i feel, i needed to oncentrate on was my addiction to drugs, once i saw to that everything else i could deal with. If i tried to deal with all the sh*t in my life i usually relapsed. It's not for everybody, but for me, going to NA really helped me stay clean, and it still does to this day....
wishing you all the best, Kev
Kev -
That is exactly how I feel.... I am so glad she is in jail right now becasue I know she is not using or going to the city and possibly get into trouble.
So she has been in jail since Sunday. Her mom saw her on Wednesday and said that she told her she has already gone through the withdrawal process of puking and stomach pains. They said they gave her medication for that.
I hope you don;t mind me asking but is that possible that she went through withdrawals that fast? How long does withdrawals last? Is her system clean now?
That is exactly how I feel.... I am so glad she is in jail right now becasue I know she is not using or going to the city and possibly get into trouble.
So she has been in jail since Sunday. Her mom saw her on Wednesday and said that she told her she has already gone through the withdrawal process of puking and stomach pains. They said they gave her medication for that.
I hope you don;t mind me asking but is that possible that she went through withdrawals that fast? How long does withdrawals last? Is her system clean now?
it cannot be nice 2 find out that a sibling is on heroin.
as everybody says it must b her decision 2 get clean but, she already said she wants help or not??
with ur sister it might b different but
on average (here in england) it takes an addict 10 yrs or so of usin
or 2 b at absolute rockbottom until any detox works..
until that time all the nagging in the world won't help but push her even further away.
all u can give her is love and try (this bein the hardest) 2 stand by her whatever happens.
the amount of people i know where the parents have said " if u use again i want nothin 2 do with u ", if it's meant or not , has put up a barrier and the addict has then been 2 scared 2 go back 2 them 4 help.
( i do not no 1 person that has got clean and then stayed away from heroin)
again , your sister might be strong enuff( with ur help).
people that say methadone is even worse r making excuses as not 2 get off heroin..
used correctly methadone is good.(just make sure she cleans her teeth as its very sugary..lol)
subutex (suboxone) i prefer because it totally clears my head as with methadone one is still slightly sedated.
i've been on heroin 4 about 15 yrs on and off.have detoxed with methadone and subutex.
most of my family didn't help me one bit,it would b a shame if u didn't do all that is poss 4 ur sister,but as afore mentioned u have 2 b in the background,staying strong.
i hope it works out
xxx john
as everybody says it must b her decision 2 get clean but, she already said she wants help or not??
with ur sister it might b different but
on average (here in england) it takes an addict 10 yrs or so of usin
or 2 b at absolute rockbottom until any detox works..
until that time all the nagging in the world won't help but push her even further away.
all u can give her is love and try (this bein the hardest) 2 stand by her whatever happens.
the amount of people i know where the parents have said " if u use again i want nothin 2 do with u ", if it's meant or not , has put up a barrier and the addict has then been 2 scared 2 go back 2 them 4 help.
( i do not no 1 person that has got clean and then stayed away from heroin)
again , your sister might be strong enuff( with ur help).
people that say methadone is even worse r making excuses as not 2 get off heroin..
used correctly methadone is good.(just make sure she cleans her teeth as its very sugary..lol)
subutex (suboxone) i prefer because it totally clears my head as with methadone one is still slightly sedated.
i've been on heroin 4 about 15 yrs on and off.have detoxed with methadone and subutex.
most of my family didn't help me one bit,it would b a shame if u didn't do all that is poss 4 ur sister,but as afore mentioned u have 2 b in the background,staying strong.
i hope it works out
xxx john
