Help With Oxy W/d

Pain Pills
1
I just wrote this letter on the "success" part of this message board...didn't realize it and that would be way to optimistic! I'm at day 7...of a 200mg oxycontin habit. For a little over 3 years. Plus 10/500 lortab, for breakthrough. ALways crushed it, abused from waking til bed. Every 4 hours, 40 mg's. Of course I would come close to running out, but managed to cut down the last week. Until 6 months ago. SInce then I've run out 4 times...the 1st going a full week before I could refill. Whoa! Didn't know a body could be so sick. Happened the last 3 months which lets me know I absolutely no control over it. I mean, if the w/d won't make you save a little, nothing will. This time I went to my doc on day 4, told him I decided to quit and had flushed the script down the tiolet. A lie I know, but he didn't know I was abusing. I had slept about 8 hours in 5 full days. Asked for something to sleep which he gave me. So now I have cut off the source. The only place I know to buy drugs is a drugstore. I'm coming out of the very bowels of hell...but doing better. I'm not naive enough to think it's over, but would love to hear from some recovered heavy oxy users so I can know somewhat to expect. SOmeone please help me. God bless you all. I so know the hopeless feeling of facing that 1st week, of watching the hands spin on the clock day and night, night and day. All the while pretending to your kids you have the flu. Today, the symptoms have subsided somewhat, but Iknow that after 3 years of heavy use, I'm in for quite a ride. But I also know I'll never have to face this last week again. (Although my Doc offered to resubscribe if I wanted, but no way! Please help anyone. God Bless you all.
2
intoodeep,
I had a relationship with hydro not oxy so I can not give you any specific intput on that but I can offer support. I have only been clean for 11 days--but I feel f***ing fantastic. God has given me a new life. I know what you are going throught right now--like you said---watching the clock for every hour to pass. But you are no different than all of the other people that have beaten this demon. You are not weaker. You are just as strong. NO, stronger. You will live through this hell and come out on the other side with a new improved life. peace.
3
Hey intoodeep,

I was not a Oxycontin user. I was a oxycodone/percocet user and anything else I can get my hands on that will give me a similar high. My heart goes out to you and I am pulling for you. If you are at day 7 then you should be doing much better soon. I am impressed that you have 7 days. Keep up the good work.

Love,
Lou
4
How wonderful for you to respond to quickly. My computer is down at home so am doing this at work. I knew the w/d would be tough...but han NO notion what it would entail. But I do feel hope! It's so cool. I've been obsesssed with being an addict for a very long time. I've always been sure I couldn't do it on my own. Now I feel hope...and it is nectar from God. A week ago today I wanted to die. Had I not had children, I would have. Thank you for your kind words for a hurting soul. You make me better!
5
My drug of choice is/was oxycodone 5/325 -up to 30 a day. I "quit" every 5 weeks or so, but went CT just yesterday on Easter Sunday. I know from past experience that it gets better everyday...the physical stuff anyway. It's the mental/emotional long term stuff that I have trouble with. Hang in there. We are all in the same boat, just different drug.
6
Good luck to you KL63. I know that being able to sleep for a few hours made the difference for me. Hope...what a beautiful thing. The anxiety I experienced last weekend knowing I'd run out...and having that behind me...I can't express my gratitude. Of course it was enforced due to my running out. But I could have gotten new scripts when I saw the doc. Instead I told him no more. No deep depression yet, however a lot of easy tears and absolutely no energy.
7
toodeep.......you are doing great! just hang in there and do not give in! Things will get better day by day. My doc was hydro, and I went c/t, too. you can kick this thing, and if you have kids, it is the best thing you could do for them. Good luck. Keep posing and reading. There are many on this board who quit Oxy and here today feeling great!
8
intodeep

I have withdrawn from oxy and I can relate to your hell, it will get better, but it takes time. Be proud of your 7 days and don't pick back up, each time I relapsed, it was always a harder withdrawl.

Stay strong

Redd
9
Well said, Redd
10
Thanks for all your encouragement and kind words. I know it just gets more difficult every time...spent 4 out of the last 6 months struggling with it. Only a couple of days twice...1 week and then this episode. I knew...have known all along I would have to kill it at the source as I get it from a doc. Took a deep breath and said no more instead of can I get my scripts for this month? He was very surprised. I was so very tired from 5 days no sleep. You guys give me hope. Still unsure what to expect. Have heard many terrible things on other sites. 3 months long, suicidal, etc. Right now I'm grateful! Thank you everyone. Keep pullin' for me. I am a single mom and have a very difficult job, recently divorced. Oxy brings nothing but sorrow and shame!
11
In too -

All I can say is I think you are doing GREAT!!!! Seven days off of oxy is one great accomplishment - you are a very strong person. Dont ever look back. It will just get better from here. You should be so proud of yourself. Give yourself a pat on the back and be kind to yourself.

God bless you. You are definately a true inspiration to this board. Keep us posted on your progress. Again, WAY TO GO!!!!

Love,
Marie