I need help. I have been addictied to pain meds for about 16 years. The lengths I have gone to to score my pills makes me sick when I recall what I have done. I feel horribly alone & am scared I will die and leave my baby without her mother. I want to quit so desperatly bad, but I can't handle the pain with my day to day life. What can I do to ease my withdrawls so I can still funtion on my day to day basis?
Snowflake,
you came to the right place honey. I would like to help you, but would you mind sharing a few more details..........like what you drug of choice was and how much, that will help us understand more!
hang in there, it is duable, and your daughter needs her mommy!!
Pants
you came to the right place honey. I would like to help you, but would you mind sharing a few more details..........like what you drug of choice was and how much, that will help us understand more!
hang in there, it is duable, and your daughter needs her mommy!!
Pants
I started off with Lortab, Darvocet, anything that had codeine in it. My doctor gave me ultram so I could not get addicted and 5 years later I am taking about 25 a day. I ran out today and went to every hospital and clinic in town to score. I hate myself for what I am doing, but I cant quit. The pain is so horrible. I don't want my daughter to have a drug addict for a mom but I don't know what to do. I cant go to rehab my parents would take her away. But I can't handle the withdrwawls and still funtion
Is there anyone out there who knows of some great withrawl tricks to help not feel so awful?
ok well honey first of all! just because you are a addict it doesnt make you a bad person.........it like cancer or anything else is a disease. And if you will stick around here you will see what amazing people come to the place of recovory, i think that they are more amazing than someone from the outside looking in is perfect. There is something about humbleness and humility that is a beautifull thing................
I understand that rehab isnt a option for most, but i for one got clean with out it, the pain of w/d not doubt are horrible, i couldnt even begin to write briefly how they effected me , but i do understand that what ever way it happes, sobriety and recovory is better than using.
Dont feel bad about going to the hospital, you would be amazied and probably disgusted if you knew half the things that addicts have done for their fix, including myself. Do you think that you could go to a doctor and ask for his opinion and suggestions? I know family is hard, it is part of my life that i wish i could change, but even more so, your life is so important!!! and i think they would know that, but i dont have kids,so i hope you hang around and let some of the parents post to you who have kids.
How much does it take you to function everyday, some people taper, i couldnt but some people here have............. how do you start going into W/D what are your first symptoms, and how old is your child if that is ok?can i ask how old you are?
Pants
I understand that rehab isnt a option for most, but i for one got clean with out it, the pain of w/d not doubt are horrible, i couldnt even begin to write briefly how they effected me , but i do understand that what ever way it happes, sobriety and recovory is better than using.
Dont feel bad about going to the hospital, you would be amazied and probably disgusted if you knew half the things that addicts have done for their fix, including myself. Do you think that you could go to a doctor and ask for his opinion and suggestions? I know family is hard, it is part of my life that i wish i could change, but even more so, your life is so important!!! and i think they would know that, but i dont have kids,so i hope you hang around and let some of the parents post to you who have kids.
How much does it take you to function everyday, some people taper, i couldnt but some people here have............. how do you start going into W/D what are your first symptoms, and how old is your child if that is ok?can i ask how old you are?
Pants
Welcome to the board Snowflake. I would suggest talking to your dr for help with w/d...that and telling your drs that you are an addict, the only way to stop using pills is to stop using pills. If you leave the avenues open with the drs you have been getting drugs from it will make it so much harder for you to stop. You have to cut off all of your supplies so that your disease doesn't try to trick you into thinking you can take one more pill.
What is the reason that you have been getting pain pills? Do you have chronic pain?
What is the reason that you have been getting pain pills? Do you have chronic pain?
I am 29 started using at 15. My daughter is 6. I went through the worst withrdrawls of my life (Lortab) then found out I was carring her. I didn't touch anything for about 2years, and well that obviously did not last. Since I began using again I haven't been more than 2 days without. My withdrawls usually start with my tummy. I have this horrible burning sensation that makes me not be able to sit still. It always reminds me of that feeling you get when you think something awful is going to happen. I can't sleep, my legs have shocks running through them, my head is on the verge of explosion, can't get out of the bathroom, can't eat. I dream of pills. They are constanly on my mind. I used to get them from doctors, then the street now bolth. I always thought of myself as a very strong person. I have raised a beautiful little girl with no help from her father, but I can't seem to finally stop. I want to so bad, but it hurts so much. I'm scared I will never be able to stop. My liver is probably shot my kidneys are more than likely black and totally non functional. My fear is that I will never be able to do this and die from the damage I have done. I don't know what to do.
Sno,
You need a plan. Take all the suggestions from the board a formulate a plan.
Pick a date for cold turkey. See your doctor and fess up. Tell a trusted freind or family member so they can help with your child while you get over the worst of it.
People who are successful at quitting get as much support as they can. Those that do this alone often relapse.
Keep talking. This board saved my life.
Wendy
You need a plan. Take all the suggestions from the board a formulate a plan.
Pick a date for cold turkey. See your doctor and fess up. Tell a trusted freind or family member so they can help with your child while you get over the worst of it.
People who are successful at quitting get as much support as they can. Those that do this alone often relapse.
Keep talking. This board saved my life.
Wendy
Have you thought of trying out an AA or NA meeting? You will get wonderful support from other addicts. You don't have to talk, just listen. Either that or some counseling, but you will be more successful with face to face support.
There are some over the counter meds that will help with wd. I will see if I can locate the post and bump it up for you. You are better off doing this with a drs care though, but sometimes it's not possible. Whatever you do you need to get rid of ALL sources for pills
There are some over the counter meds that will help with wd. I will see if I can locate the post and bump it up for you. You are better off doing this with a drs care though, but sometimes it's not possible. Whatever you do you need to get rid of ALL sources for pills
sorry to steal your thread for a second, but a plan that is a good plan...lol
WENDY!!! how are you how is he wedding coming and the weather!!!?!!!
pants
WENDY!!! how are you how is he wedding coming and the weather!!!?!!!
pants
Ahh yes! That horrible feeling that something bad is going to happen. Holy s***. Yes that part sucks. Doing horrible things for a score you don't know the half of it LOL. I am sure most of us have done things we are not proud of. Me I went to unimaginable lengths and it wound me up in jail. Not to freak you out just to say I understand. These are things most of us have gone through you are not alone. Even with how terrible you are feeling right now. Each of us at times thought we had it the worst! It's an addict mentality. You are among friends here. Friends who would like to help you get better. Stick around read some things and learn more. See the success stories and listen to the posts until you find something that fits you. You can get better and there is a better life out there than planning everything around pills. You will get better if you put forth some effort and say some prayers. Can you go grab a AA big book and start reading or anything recovery related. Just read and pray and post and talk about how you are feeling and there is some great advice around here. WELCOME.
Love,
Jane
Love,
Jane
I like the idea of fessing up to the doc but did that once he tried to help, I threw his help out the window and went and found another source. The current doc....I'm afraid to do that..
My friend told me to ask about sub? She said this makes withdrawls easier. How do I get it? She comes here....
My friend told me to ask about sub? She said this makes withdrawls easier. How do I get it? She comes here....
Sno,
Sub has been a miracle for me but at some point you have to come off it.
Short term during detox seems to be the best option but as you know stopping is the easy part. Staying stopped takes alot of commitment.
While I am on Sub I have no cravings at all and am learning to live my life without chasing pills. But like I said eventually we all have to come off it.
IMO better to pay the piper now than to put it off by going the sub route.
Wendy
Sub has been a miracle for me but at some point you have to come off it.
Short term during detox seems to be the best option but as you know stopping is the easy part. Staying stopped takes alot of commitment.
While I am on Sub I have no cravings at all and am learning to live my life without chasing pills. But like I said eventually we all have to come off it.
IMO better to pay the piper now than to put it off by going the sub route.
Wendy
Snowflake, as others have said, you have come to the right place and taken the first step. After reading through this thread once again, I think you said you doc (drug of choice) was now Ultram, up to maybe 25 per day.
I don't disagree at all with the concept of going cold turkey (I was up to a high number of lortab (hydrocodone w/tylenol) and "jumped off" at 8 per day after tapering some...)
BUT...... I thought I read somewhere that ultram is a little different, with some risk of seizure if you are coming off suddenly.
I don't know if this is correct, but this is just to encourage you to seek some help from a professional - maybe an addiction specialist, or even your local (county) mental health center might have some info - most centers specialize not only in mental health, but in "behavioral" health, which includes drug and alcohol addictions.
I was just concerned about going off all of a sudden from ultram - does anyone else know? I know it (cold turkey) can be done with codeine, hydrocodone, oxycodone, etc. -the w'ds are difficult, but not necessarily life threatening.
However.... ultram... I don't know. Someone on this board was addicted to ultram, and knows a lot more, just can't think who it is right now.
You can DO THIS. You absolutely can, many have gone before you.
We're glad you came here.
Love
Sue/Enester
I don't disagree at all with the concept of going cold turkey (I was up to a high number of lortab (hydrocodone w/tylenol) and "jumped off" at 8 per day after tapering some...)
BUT...... I thought I read somewhere that ultram is a little different, with some risk of seizure if you are coming off suddenly.
I don't know if this is correct, but this is just to encourage you to seek some help from a professional - maybe an addiction specialist, or even your local (county) mental health center might have some info - most centers specialize not only in mental health, but in "behavioral" health, which includes drug and alcohol addictions.
I was just concerned about going off all of a sudden from ultram - does anyone else know? I know it (cold turkey) can be done with codeine, hydrocodone, oxycodone, etc. -the w'ds are difficult, but not necessarily life threatening.
However.... ultram... I don't know. Someone on this board was addicted to ultram, and knows a lot more, just can't think who it is right now.
You can DO THIS. You absolutely can, many have gone before you.
We're glad you came here.
Love
Sue/Enester
I'm sure that MJ will post when she sees this, if I'm on in the morning I will bring her attention to it. She had a problem with Ultram.
Welcome Snowflake,
There is hope and and answer. I doctor shopped and was taking 20 to 30 pills a day. I know all about geting getting pills from every souce out there.
It's ok to ask for help. Your daughter WILL NOT be taken away from you. Addiction is a desease, the medial community knows it.
There is more help out there than you can imagine. You do need a plan. Start with contacting your local hospital and talk to them about what detox options are available. There are detox plans that don't require a hospital stay. I know because I did it. Call your insurance company and see what you are covered for. Call NA/AA and talk to them, ask what it's all about. No one is going to ask you your name, don't worry about that. Get as much information as you can.
You need some tangible information before you can formulate a plan. You are 99% there because you want to stop. How to go about it is the tough part. Once you know that there is help and support you will free of the pills in no time.
Call a "hot line" now that you can find in your phone book. You will get a lot of help and information. I called a hot line and it changed my life.
Your not alone in this. You can do this.
Catherine
There is hope and and answer. I doctor shopped and was taking 20 to 30 pills a day. I know all about geting getting pills from every souce out there.
It's ok to ask for help. Your daughter WILL NOT be taken away from you. Addiction is a desease, the medial community knows it.
There is more help out there than you can imagine. You do need a plan. Start with contacting your local hospital and talk to them about what detox options are available. There are detox plans that don't require a hospital stay. I know because I did it. Call your insurance company and see what you are covered for. Call NA/AA and talk to them, ask what it's all about. No one is going to ask you your name, don't worry about that. Get as much information as you can.
You need some tangible information before you can formulate a plan. You are 99% there because you want to stop. How to go about it is the tough part. Once you know that there is help and support you will free of the pills in no time.
Call a "hot line" now that you can find in your phone book. You will get a lot of help and information. I called a hot line and it changed my life.
Your not alone in this. You can do this.
Catherine
Snowflake,
I also took suboxone. Click on this, you can read about it. There is also information on addiction that is helpfull.
http://www.buprenorphine.samhsa.gov/about.html
This site is great as well.
http://www.ncadd.org/
Catherine
I also took suboxone. Click on this, you can read about it. There is also information on addiction that is helpfull.
http://www.buprenorphine.samhsa.gov/about.html
This site is great as well.
http://www.ncadd.org/
Catherine
hiya snowflake ~
it appears by what you posted that your daughter already has a mom who is addicted to drugs. additionally, the drugs you are abusing can be dangerous coming off of without a medically supervised detox.
we understand far to well the lengths you will go to get those drugs. my question to you is what length are you willing to go for your recovery?
hugs and much encouragement to you. you matter!
namaste' ~
sammy
it appears by what you posted that your daughter already has a mom who is addicted to drugs. additionally, the drugs you are abusing can be dangerous coming off of without a medically supervised detox.
we understand far to well the lengths you will go to get those drugs. my question to you is what length are you willing to go for your recovery?
hugs and much encouragement to you. you matter!
namaste' ~
sammy
bump
I have heard that ultram can cause seizures when you stop cold turkey, but does anyone have a website that I can go to and read up?
In regards to the sub, I think that is prescription only? Which would mean coming clean to the doc. Scary thought. Once you get on the sub is there withdrawls from that as well?
Yesterday I was disgusted with myself today not disgusted, still wanting to stop, but still taking pills. I keep telling myself after Christmas, I just don't want to deal with the withdrawls over the holidays.
My daughter does have a drug addict for a mom, but at this point she also has a drug addict for a mom that has a huge desire to no longer be a drug addict.
Everyone here has been so supportive. It helps just to know that there are people out there who know how I feel and to know that someone is listening.
Thanks
In regards to the sub, I think that is prescription only? Which would mean coming clean to the doc. Scary thought. Once you get on the sub is there withdrawls from that as well?
Yesterday I was disgusted with myself today not disgusted, still wanting to stop, but still taking pills. I keep telling myself after Christmas, I just don't want to deal with the withdrawls over the holidays.
My daughter does have a drug addict for a mom, but at this point she also has a drug addict for a mom that has a huge desire to no longer be a drug addict.
Everyone here has been so supportive. It helps just to know that there are people out there who know how I feel and to know that someone is listening.
Thanks
