Thank you. I just don't have the willpower, anymore. I have tried the meetings, and the recovery programs. Nothing seems to work for me.
Why do you think that AA did not work for you?
How long have you been able to quit in the past?
Cailyn
How long have you been able to quit in the past?
Cailyn
I was just like you...it took me 20 years to "get it" ~ this time I was and am willing to go to anything length for sobriety, because I now know w/o my sobriety I may lose everything. I have to completey surrender and work the Steps in my daily life (as suggested by AA).
I too struggled for 20 years in and out of AA meetings. I just could not stay sober. Then, by the grace of god, I ran into a doctor that diagnosed me with A personality disorder called "borderline personality disorder" I take medication for it and believe it or not sobriety has come easy these past three years. Not saying that this is the fix all answer but sometimes it takes more than AA.
I am sponsoring a young woman who has BPD and stayed sober by working a 12 step program. However, her Pyschiatrist recently changed her meds and she relapsed and is now having trouble staying sober; I'm wondering if the change in meds has anything to do with it?
I would think so. the way I think today is SOOO different while I am on my meds. I take olanzapine and it has made all the difference in a totally Fu**** up life.
Thanks Michael. She had about 19 months of sobriety and now can't manage to put more than one day together.
VW girl
Before I found the help for my BPD I just could not win. 20 years of meetings and less and less sobriety. The older I got the less time I could put together. I was truly knocking on heavens door. Then I moved to The UK and this doctor walked in and asked me a few questions and told me to take this little pill and things might get better. I woke the next morning with a whole new outlook on life. Since that day three years ago I changed from an angry, mean, tormented human to a soft gentle man full of hope and dreams. Life is good for the first time in 50 years.
Before I found the help for my BPD I just could not win. 20 years of meetings and less and less sobriety. The older I got the less time I could put together. I was truly knocking on heavens door. Then I moved to The UK and this doctor walked in and asked me a few questions and told me to take this little pill and things might get better. I woke the next morning with a whole new outlook on life. Since that day three years ago I changed from an angry, mean, tormented human to a soft gentle man full of hope and dreams. Life is good for the first time in 50 years.
Wow Michael...I'm glad you are finally finding peace, serenity and happiness. They say it takes what it takes...and it took me until I was 44 years old to completely surrender. In years past, my Program was run by me! Life is so much easier today ~ no real drama, chaos and best yet no depression. The little gal that I was sponsoring, well I released her with love yesterday. She really doesn't want to stay sober ~ so I told if she puts a few days together she can call me...she is very tormented just as you described in your post. Also, I knew more than anyone knew at age 25 (that's how old she is)...so we'll see what happens. Hope she makes it back.
