Today I had huge alcohol cravings. Haven't had it so bad in quite some time, it was really awful. Basically, the guy who I had started seeing ignored me all last week. Fine really because I don't want to continue a 'relationship' with him, but I do like to keep friends, and so I text him a couple of times just saying that it's cool for us to carry on as friends isn't it. Bear in mind I know this man from long ago so of course we should carry on being friends because we were back then. He has ignored my texts. I have tried to be cool but the rejection is there and it hit me full force today. I have been comforting myself with food lately but the self destruct button was really asking to be hit today and I was completely overwhelmed with cravings for alcohol.
I was out with the dog at the time and just sat in the middle of the field and in desperation asked the greater intelligence to please release me from the destruction of my self. I don't really know what happened, but with my head in my hands I just somehow kind of came into the moment and the intensity of the craving lifted. I did feel a very brief feeling of peace. I was then able to rationalise it through and figure that the drink I had craved would only lead me to an even darker and more desperate place than I was already in. Soon I was able to get up and carry on with my walk. OK, so I wasn't laughing and skipping along but the craving had gone. I made sure to say thankyou to whatever it was that helped me out of that dark hole of self hate and self destruction.
I definatley received help from another source today. It felt different to the help I give myself. It was one of those things that you don't forget because it was an experience beyond this realm. Hard to explain but vivid in experience.
That's wonderful Lacey....absolutely wonderful.
My own experience is that incredible strength, wisdom and love for is there for us whenever we want it and even when we're too busy to notice.
It sounds like you consciously opened a door today, a door to gifts of love and strength and to a future brighter than you could imagine.
Whenever I tell myself - often out loud - that I want to keep that door open and make space in my heart and mind I can feel that wonderful strength and love flow through me. It fills me with incredible joy.....and as time goes on it seems to flow more and more easily, whether I seek it or not.....sometimes coming when I need it most and have completely forgotten it exists......
Please don't ask me how I can possibly forget such a thing....I have no idea. I'm just grateful "it" never forgets me......
I'm so happy for you!
That's my ESH.
My own experience is that incredible strength, wisdom and love for is there for us whenever we want it and even when we're too busy to notice.
It sounds like you consciously opened a door today, a door to gifts of love and strength and to a future brighter than you could imagine.
Whenever I tell myself - often out loud - that I want to keep that door open and make space in my heart and mind I can feel that wonderful strength and love flow through me. It fills me with incredible joy.....and as time goes on it seems to flow more and more easily, whether I seek it or not.....sometimes coming when I need it most and have completely forgotten it exists......
Please don't ask me how I can possibly forget such a thing....I have no idea. I'm just grateful "it" never forgets me......
I'm so happy for you!
That's my ESH.
thanks for sharing Lacey - you have reminded me that all we have is a daily reprieve.
Idgie
Idgie
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful intimate experience with us. Isn't it a relief to know that we are never truly "alone" and that some greater source of love is unlimited and unconditional? And yes, I believe this source is ever-present. The problem for me, personally, is that I forget this and try to do it on my own. Historically, only relying on self-will and self-knowledge gets me into trouble.
Glad you tapped into this source and that it gave you a moment of repreive and that the compulsion to drink was lifted.
I will relfect on your experience in my times of weakness to remind myself that there truly is some divine intelligence that has the capacity to remove the obsession to drink.
Glad you tapped into this source and that it gave you a moment of repreive and that the compulsion to drink was lifted.
I will relfect on your experience in my times of weakness to remind myself that there truly is some divine intelligence that has the capacity to remove the obsession to drink.
Gidday Lacey
Thanks for sharing your spiritual awakening and miracle with us:)
I used to expect a blinding flash and someone to hand down the rules and everything is okay instead i get a daily reprieve as has been said and if i ever want an example of a miracle it is in front of me everyday i look in the mirror sober.
My higher power is 24/7 on call and also sends things my way when i sometimes miss the obvious clues.
Lacey thanks again for your E.S.H because it helps this alky stay grateful and focussed
light and love Zac
Thanks for sharing your spiritual awakening and miracle with us:)
I used to expect a blinding flash and someone to hand down the rules and everything is okay instead i get a daily reprieve as has been said and if i ever want an example of a miracle it is in front of me everyday i look in the mirror sober.
My higher power is 24/7 on call and also sends things my way when i sometimes miss the obvious clues.
Lacey thanks again for your E.S.H because it helps this alky stay grateful and focussed
light and love Zac
Gosh, yes Zac, it was a miracle. I will never forget it.
Gidday Lacey
I see that your friend left beers and bags etc, sometimes our old drinking mates prefer the drinker or stoner as they need someone to look down on so they arent looking at themselves but maybe im off the mark and your reply to Idgie just made me think of what some of the old crew done when i stopped drinking LOL they ran a sweepstake at the pub to see how long i would last off the booze and they only new the pissed me and not the insane pissed me......bloody hell all the more reason to stay sober, thanks Lacey
light and love Zac
I see that your friend left beers and bags etc, sometimes our old drinking mates prefer the drinker or stoner as they need someone to look down on so they arent looking at themselves but maybe im off the mark and your reply to Idgie just made me think of what some of the old crew done when i stopped drinking LOL they ran a sweepstake at the pub to see how long i would last off the booze and they only new the pissed me and not the insane pissed me......bloody hell all the more reason to stay sober, thanks Lacey
light and love Zac
Hi Lacey,
I to am so glad that you were helped by an HP who was there in your time of need. Like Zak said it's 24/7 were surrounded by this perfect intelligenge - love at all times. We just need to reach for him, it. Whatever you concieve yours to be.
Like Martin said you talked your way thru not out.
I'm concerned about you choosing friendship with the wrong people. People who are using. I'm sorry I'm a mother and a friend. I know it's your business. Perhaps your higher intelligence is working behind the scenes and there is reason this relationship hasn't worked out.
Zak again couldn't have said it better if I were to be in a pissed off mood and to drink it would be like a tornado hit the house. I now find more reasons to remain sober than to get drunk.
Thank You, for reminding me that if I pray - ask to do the next right thing, then this to shall pass. All any of us have is today! For I know God allows u- turns.
I to am so glad that you were helped by an HP who was there in your time of need. Like Zak said it's 24/7 were surrounded by this perfect intelligenge - love at all times. We just need to reach for him, it. Whatever you concieve yours to be.
Like Martin said you talked your way thru not out.
I'm concerned about you choosing friendship with the wrong people. People who are using. I'm sorry I'm a mother and a friend. I know it's your business. Perhaps your higher intelligence is working behind the scenes and there is reason this relationship hasn't worked out.
Zak again couldn't have said it better if I were to be in a pissed off mood and to drink it would be like a tornado hit the house. I now find more reasons to remain sober than to get drunk.
Thank You, for reminding me that if I pray - ask to do the next right thing, then this to shall pass. All any of us have is today! For I know God allows u- turns.
| QUOTE |
| ...old drinking mates prefer the drinker or stoner |
LOL
~snicker~
He said "Stoner." Gawd, I haven't heard that in years. In a previous life I'd sit around getting high, drinkin' and smokin,' and we'd call the dude that went out first, the 'stoner-dude.' Couldn't handle the buzz.
ROTFLMAO!!
...
...
..wait for it...
I don't EVER remember being called a Stoner Dude.
I remember being called a stoner in my teens and well I can't remember. Side effect of MJ. I do remember giving it up as alcohol provided a better punch. Tried mixing the two and can you say merry go round at high speeds. Feeling it is horrible. Praying to porcelain God, well it did provide some relief. Oh those headaches. More memorabilies to keep me sober. I'll save it for a rainy day.
I shudder at the thought of smokin the weed now. In my last days of it, it produced such a dramatic effect in my body it was scary - really fast heartbeat and I could feel all the blood rushing around. Not good.
Chris, I know you are right. I have got to pull my socks up with the company I am keeping. I truly didn't realise though that this guy was going to turn up and start doing coke, and continue to disrespect my sobriety throughout the weekend. We were supposed to be going on a 'date' that we had arranged several weeks before. Cocaine was the last thing I thought would be coming too!!
My homoeopath said today that when you have been in a culture - whether it be a drug culture, or anything else it can be very difficult to move out of that into some other group. How true.
So how do those guys and gals in the bar see you now Zac, years and years down the road of sobriety?!!! It is funny how other people just don't get it!
Chris, I know you are right. I have got to pull my socks up with the company I am keeping. I truly didn't realise though that this guy was going to turn up and start doing coke, and continue to disrespect my sobriety throughout the weekend. We were supposed to be going on a 'date' that we had arranged several weeks before. Cocaine was the last thing I thought would be coming too!!
My homoeopath said today that when you have been in a culture - whether it be a drug culture, or anything else it can be very difficult to move out of that into some other group. How true.
So how do those guys and gals in the bar see you now Zac, years and years down the road of sobriety?!!! It is funny how other people just don't get it!
