Hi there,
First time user on this board. Getting lots of great information but still need help. My husband's daughter, just graduated a silver cord, just got caught smoking heroin. She at first told us she had only tried it a few times and it's not a problem. I went and searched her trash and found over 10+ burnt foils. I think she needs to quit her job and go to rehab. My husband doesn't think so. Please help advise with any personal experiences you may have.
Thank you in advance for any help
hi, first I'm so sorry this is touching our family.
I don't know if I should be giving anyone advice, since I'm still learning so much myself.
But I don't think people can just stop heroin with out support. If your family contacts a rehab/detox center they will do an assessment. They may keep her for a medical detox (detoxing on your own at home is beyond a nightmare; I also know that the severity of detoxing can vary depending on method of use, how long the person was using, and how much the person was using). After detox they would (or at least where my son went this is how they handled it), then they assess the patient and either keep for rehab or assist the patient in setting up an outside treatment program. My son stayed at rehab for 30 days after detox, and had an intensive outpatient program in place before he left in patient rehab.
I hope this was in some way helpful, or maybe just gave you a starting point for research or questions you might ask. All the best to you and your family...
I don't know if I should be giving anyone advice, since I'm still learning so much myself.
But I don't think people can just stop heroin with out support. If your family contacts a rehab/detox center they will do an assessment. They may keep her for a medical detox (detoxing on your own at home is beyond a nightmare; I also know that the severity of detoxing can vary depending on method of use, how long the person was using, and how much the person was using). After detox they would (or at least where my son went this is how they handled it), then they assess the patient and either keep for rehab or assist the patient in setting up an outside treatment program. My son stayed at rehab for 30 days after detox, and had an intensive outpatient program in place before he left in patient rehab.
I hope this was in some way helpful, or maybe just gave you a starting point for research or questions you might ask. All the best to you and your family...
Thank you so much for the information. Just trying to get as much input as I can. She just graduated high school with a 4.29 and has so much potential but has absolutely no self esteem.
Hello,
I feel for you & your family. My daughter does heroin. Two years of opiates, 2 1/2 moths of heroin (smoking). I am disgusted, fed up, at my wit's end. My daughter too, is very smart 4.3 gps, and yet she all but destroyed her future. She is a sinking ship. She's doing her meetings, but there are panic attacks, self absorption, etc. She cares about no one but herself. I've turned my back to her, for now. If she comes around, I'll be there, but she chooses to keep company with only people that do drugs. She turns her back on all of us. I can't take much more. She's a master manipulator & always turns it around so that she can blame us for all the wrongs in her life. We went home to PA (we live in WV), to see family last night and today. Well, she was off the charts. The whole visit was bad from start to finish. My dad said she looked sick like she had the flu & she got upset. Well, she does look sick. She's battling addiction. No one knows that but our kids, myself & my husband & a close cousin that lost her son to Heroin. I wonder why I'm trying to protect her image. They all know something's wrong with her. It's all too obvious.
Not to ramble about myself. Sorry 'bout that. Just please know, you're not alone. I couldn't wait to get to my computer. I feel ill. Nothing helps. I tried to enjoy my family, but she had to come unhinged at every turn. It just sucks. You know. Nothing is the same, nor will it ever be for us.
I hope things get better for you & your daughter. Neither of us are alone. I'll watch for your posts.
Take care & stay strong.
love,
Dee
I feel for you & your family. My daughter does heroin. Two years of opiates, 2 1/2 moths of heroin (smoking). I am disgusted, fed up, at my wit's end. My daughter too, is very smart 4.3 gps, and yet she all but destroyed her future. She is a sinking ship. She's doing her meetings, but there are panic attacks, self absorption, etc. She cares about no one but herself. I've turned my back to her, for now. If she comes around, I'll be there, but she chooses to keep company with only people that do drugs. She turns her back on all of us. I can't take much more. She's a master manipulator & always turns it around so that she can blame us for all the wrongs in her life. We went home to PA (we live in WV), to see family last night and today. Well, she was off the charts. The whole visit was bad from start to finish. My dad said she looked sick like she had the flu & she got upset. Well, she does look sick. She's battling addiction. No one knows that but our kids, myself & my husband & a close cousin that lost her son to Heroin. I wonder why I'm trying to protect her image. They all know something's wrong with her. It's all too obvious.
Not to ramble about myself. Sorry 'bout that. Just please know, you're not alone. I couldn't wait to get to my computer. I feel ill. Nothing helps. I tried to enjoy my family, but she had to come unhinged at every turn. It just sucks. You know. Nothing is the same, nor will it ever be for us.
I hope things get better for you & your daughter. Neither of us are alone. I'll watch for your posts.
Take care & stay strong.
love,
Dee
Hi Grammy and Dee, Best thing you can do is you need to lay down the law, quit your drinking or quit the drugs now! Get clean and sober or your out! Their adults I take it? They know right from wrong so tell them to sink or start swimming! Grammy... your right your husbands daughter needs help now. That's a lot of foils you found. Dee...Your girls have no right to treat you, your husband and your home like this. Tell your parents what's going on because if the one who likes the heroin goes over their house their valuables better be locked up and yours too! No money should be given or anything that has cash value. Drugs are expensive and sooner or later she's going to run out of money because heroin is an expensive habit. I am in your shoes too. Been there for 17 yrs listening to the excuses, the bullying, the mood swings etc. I'm sick of it too! So learn from me I have a grandchild of 9-10 I'm raising. Our daughters when on drugs don't care,their brains are now wired differently and the only thing that makes them happy is dope. She will be wanting heroin when she doesn't have it, and that's the mood swings! When you see her semi normal,then she's high! I feel awful for you. God help you. But now is the time to play hard ball. I know it's scary throwing her out but drug addicts always have friends to take them in. Plus once she doesn't have her creature comforts after a day or so she'll want to get better. My daughter was 17 yrs old when I found the foil, spoon etc in her book bag for school. I wish I had thrown her out then. But I never let her go back to school after that and she got a GED instead. My life has been in limbo for years because I couldn't fix her. I'm always reading on here looking for answers. Show them the website www.Mugs to Drugs.com or something like that. If she cares about her looks let her see what her face will look like after using awhile. Not pretty at all. My daughters hair has thinned and she's aged quicker than her years. She use to be beautiful! Now she looks terrible, it's so sad! I don't wish this on anyone so best advice I can give you is what I said, throw her out if she won't go to detox/rehab. Watch the one who likes to get drunk too incase shes using the booze to get her away from drugs. Finally ..This is not your fault! I blamed myself for years. Nothing any of you did caused this. It's all on them. Their decisions, their choices, following their peers. Drugs are now an epidemic and no one realizes this until it hits your own family. God bless and we're all on this website to help and support you. I hope things get better for you all. Mary.
Thank you Mary and Dee! So appreciate your in put. My husband comes home tonight and I am going to show him your thoughts snd experiences. I truly believe that she needs rehab. I believe we have one good chance to help her at the beginning of this nightmare. I think my husband is having a hard time believing that this is a problem. So sorry both of you have had to go through this nightmare. Thank you for your help.
Hello,
Thank you for your replies. It is so helpful. I'm learning by reading on-line, here, & listening to stories of addicts' addictions. It helps. I feel better informed, even if i don't like what I learn.
Had my older daughter (drinker & bipolar) take her sister (addict & depression) to her doctor appointment. She made us feel like we were acting terribly towards her younger sister. So we turned her over to her. See if she likes it. The stress is enormous as you guys know.
My brother who lives with my dad, said our dad is wondering what's going on with our youngest. Told my brother the whole gory story & will fill my dad in later. We were trying to respect her privacy, but with how she acted, it is impossible & I don't feel bad anymore telling them. She can't expect us to hide her secrets any longer. Daughter that's an addict tries to blame us for everything so it will be nothing new having her mad at us. She says we are "mean". Ha.
I am so sick of all this. I read & know I'll be in for the long haul & that this may always be a struggle....ha, 'maybe'. I'm grateful for all who write. It helps so much. I wanted my dad to see her, because she overdosed & died for a few minutes, and I wanted to make sure he saw her, i case something bad happened to her again. My daughter got offended when he said what was wrong with her & did she have the flu . She looks bad, sunken eyes, Our extended family, dad, brothers, etc....all live a couple hours away so we only visit about once a month.They see changes we might not. My family saw first hand & were shocked by what I deal with on a daily bases...the extreme verbal fights between the girls, extreme panic attacks (over make-up gone wrong), etc....You get the idea ...
Oh well, I could whine all day...but the good Lord knows I need to vent & I'm SO VERY appreciative of all the insight.
God bless you both~.
love,
Dee
Thank you for your replies. It is so helpful. I'm learning by reading on-line, here, & listening to stories of addicts' addictions. It helps. I feel better informed, even if i don't like what I learn.
Had my older daughter (drinker & bipolar) take her sister (addict & depression) to her doctor appointment. She made us feel like we were acting terribly towards her younger sister. So we turned her over to her. See if she likes it. The stress is enormous as you guys know.
My brother who lives with my dad, said our dad is wondering what's going on with our youngest. Told my brother the whole gory story & will fill my dad in later. We were trying to respect her privacy, but with how she acted, it is impossible & I don't feel bad anymore telling them. She can't expect us to hide her secrets any longer. Daughter that's an addict tries to blame us for everything so it will be nothing new having her mad at us. She says we are "mean". Ha.
I am so sick of all this. I read & know I'll be in for the long haul & that this may always be a struggle....ha, 'maybe'. I'm grateful for all who write. It helps so much. I wanted my dad to see her, because she overdosed & died for a few minutes, and I wanted to make sure he saw her, i case something bad happened to her again. My daughter got offended when he said what was wrong with her & did she have the flu . She looks bad, sunken eyes, Our extended family, dad, brothers, etc....all live a couple hours away so we only visit about once a month.They see changes we might not. My family saw first hand & were shocked by what I deal with on a daily bases...the extreme verbal fights between the girls, extreme panic attacks (over make-up gone wrong), etc....You get the idea ...
Oh well, I could whine all day...but the good Lord knows I need to vent & I'm SO VERY appreciative of all the insight.
God bless you both~.
love,
Dee
She chose the addicted boyfriend over rehab. Now lives with him and his parents. She now has no car or phone. Hopefully this won't last too long. My husband is just devastated. Thank you for all your help!
