I started dating the most amazing and loving man in this whole world about 3 years ago. We met in New York and moved to Florida together to start a life. I did not know of his addiction when we moved our lives to Florida. When we moved to Florida he started injecting heroine and thats when I lost him. My man, My love, my life was gone. It was def love at first sight and I knew I was going to marry him. well, he put me through a lot. His addiction ruined everything. The lies, the stealing, the cheating. None of that mattered as I kept him close to me. He became my addiction. I tried to help him but I failed many times. He was mean, cranky and not fun to be around. We even broke up a few times but than got back.
Well after a few months, his addiction really took a toll on us so I made him go to rehab in Florida. He went. He was doing so well and I stayed. I waited. I did not leave. He seemed to be doing well and he kept promising that everything would be okay. and I was the love of his life. After a few months he relapsed. It was bad. He checked himself back into rehab on his own after. Again, I waited.. I did not leave. I had hope. I had faith. I forgot ALL the verbal and mental abuse he caused me while he was using. Who helped him while he was throwing up from withdrawls? me. Who gave him money when needed? me. Who paid the bills? me. Who held us together? me. After going back to rehab after the relapse he met a girl who is 8 years younger than him. The both of them relapsed together in rehab. This was last March.
Well, after their relapse the addiction got worse and now he was really lost. The both of them slept in cars, hotels, she prostituted for money for them. They were on the run. THE WHOLE TIME, he still kept in touch with me, told me things would be okay. Told me to wait. So I did. I never left his side. He needed me I was there. Why? Because I love him. I know the real him. But this girl changed him. She showed him new drugs, they slept in parking lots. Instead of coming home to a beautiful home and to me, he chose her, he chose that lifestyle and he chose sleeping in a car being homeless. Well last summer he moved, he started to date her and he moved out of our house. He moved 35 minutes away from me WITH HER. Instead of getting professional help they fought and have been fighting the illness on their own. We stopped communication for many months. We did not talk. He seemed to be "in love" with her. This girl controls him. She says jump, he says how high? She is his drug, I think?
About 2 months ago we spoke for a little. Again and as always he was nasty. He told me the girl is pregnant and they are both sober for 4 months and healthy and stable. To me, that is a lie. To me that is bulls***. I am very educated on addiction after all of this and 2 people who relapse over each other and 2 people who are so toxic cannot be stable after 4 months of clean time from heroine. Heroine is very powerful. It will always come first. My ex bf used since he was 13. He is now 29. His brain is not right. It is off. God did not intend for him to live a life like this with another drug addict who brings him down. He cannot even pay a freaking bill of $85 let alone care for a child. I believe this is not real love and I believe the relationship is fake. I am sitting here months later scratching my head, saying where did my boyfriend go? Heroine changed him and it's a damn shame. Before we moved to Florida together we even picked out an engagement ring! Our relationship was not fake. I know the real him. But he is lost. A stupid drug ruined this. It ruined our life and dreams. What happened here? Is this okay to happen? An educated teacher like myself lost this amazing man to a controlling girl who is someone to use with. I am stable. Why not me? Was I not enough? He promised the world and I did not get it. I did EVERYTHING for him and look how he has been treating me. Like s***. I finally realized I need to walk away.. Addiction is a very hard battle and it ruins a lot. One day I will love again but right now my heart is completely damaged. I pray for him every day. Maybe he will come back?
Thoughts? Advice?
I'm so sorry your going through this. Please take no disrespect by what I'm going to tell you. You Blame this other woman? He has 100% made his own choices. She is just taking the ride with him. The drug is his mistress. Not this other woman. And you can't take it personal. Unfortunately the drug takes control. it may be the hardest thing for you to do but you need to walk away. Maybe it's just for now. Maybe things will change. But you need to move in with your life and walk away for now. Xo
"I am very educated on addiction after all of this"
You need an education on your addiction to the addict.
The Nar-Anon and Al-Anon oldtimers could help you get your life back if you attended their meetings.
All the best.
Bob R
You need an education on your addiction to the addict.
The Nar-Anon and Al-Anon oldtimers could help you get your life back if you attended their meetings.
All the best.
Bob R
EXACTLY what Papa said.....your behavior and continued contact with this guy is as irrational as the addicts at this point.
Yes you are right. It's still hard to think like that after loving an addict so much. It's shame he chose a foolish life. He's better than that. Heroine ruined him. Thanks y'all!
Just remember that you don't choose this foolish life right along with him!
