Elvis,
Happy Easter. Just wanted to say hi and see how you're doing this morning. I'm not in a real good place. Are you on pain pills as well as benzos? I having been trying to quit these pain pills for several weeks now without success. A freind called yesterday and coaxed me into going to a doctor in Houston ( it wasn't hard to twist my arm) She was buying. I feel sick all the time when I'm not using or even if I really cut back. I'm not even taking as much as some of the folks here. I've already taken 3 10mg lortabs this morning and a soma. I'm having pain in my side below my ribs and lower back. Are my kidneys and liver going out? I'm pretty scared right now and ashamed. After what I've been through and know now about addiction and recovery- it's been a ten year study now; I should know better. I guess by asking people questions here, I just want someone to make me feel better. I just want people to say it's going to be alright when I know it's not. I'm not taking zanax or getting drunk so I'm functioning- but nothing feels right. I have no sense of well being. You know what I mean? I feel like I've been put in a strangle hold. Sorry to unload on you. I'm just scared. If anyone has anything to say, please feel free.
Hope y'alls morning is going better than mine. I don't have kids running around looking for easter eggs, I'm staying at my parents waiting for my house to sell
and haven't dated anyone in months. I'm 37 and feel like I just want it to be over.
I'm very depressed and tired. I know it could be so much worse. But for me if it get's much worse, I know I'll go off the deep end.( as is this isn't the deep end)
Sorry to be so morose on such a special day.Please help.
hey renee im so sorry to hear ur feeling so bad. hey i can relate to the depression!! but when it gets really really bad for me i think of the people i love and (my nan and pa mostly) and how me not being here would hurt them so much, and then i end up calling them and having a chat! i do take some pain pills renee, for migraine headaches, in australia they are called Mersyndol Forte, they contain paracetamol, codeine and doxelamiene succinate...which is a small relaxant, for example if u have a migraine it helps relax the muscles in ur head....thats the only pain pill i take, and they only make me a bit sleepy not high or anything. Lortab and soma's u see the difficulty of us being in different countries is unfortunately i dont really know these drugs......um ive heard somas are a relaxant i think and pretty powerful if im right?! renee i get pain too and sometimes wonder in that area if its my kidneys or liver cuz of all the pills over the years and then i think to myself well, i cant turn back the clock i can only change the future, so i only take the pain pills when i really have a terrible migraine now.
i really feel for u and how low ur feeling cuz ive been there and sometimes am still there, im not even sure how i get through it sometimes......but i do have a doctor i can talk to, cuz life hasnt been easy lately not just the taper but at home either, ive gotten alot tuffer inside over the last few months also, and dont bottle things up renee, can u talk to anyone, if u dont want professional help, just an understanding friend sometimes does the trick! perhaps not the 'friend' that twisted ur arm in taking u to the doctor to shout u pills....how is she really helping u?! shes not.... another great release for me is actually comedy movies, i know it sounds a bit odd but when im feeling crap i put on something to make me laugh!
renee im not sure what else to say luv, i will send lots of prayers ur way and post to me anytime, i dont mind!! u take care and whenever u feel like popping a pill for no reason or whatever dont, send a post to me instead!!! :)) lots of luv from oz xooxooxo
p.s renee i havent dated anyone in a few months either, i have actually found it to be more stress free :)) haha
i really feel for u and how low ur feeling cuz ive been there and sometimes am still there, im not even sure how i get through it sometimes......but i do have a doctor i can talk to, cuz life hasnt been easy lately not just the taper but at home either, ive gotten alot tuffer inside over the last few months also, and dont bottle things up renee, can u talk to anyone, if u dont want professional help, just an understanding friend sometimes does the trick! perhaps not the 'friend' that twisted ur arm in taking u to the doctor to shout u pills....how is she really helping u?! shes not.... another great release for me is actually comedy movies, i know it sounds a bit odd but when im feeling crap i put on something to make me laugh!
renee im not sure what else to say luv, i will send lots of prayers ur way and post to me anytime, i dont mind!! u take care and whenever u feel like popping a pill for no reason or whatever dont, send a post to me instead!!! :)) lots of luv from oz xooxooxo
p.s renee i havent dated anyone in a few months either, i have actually found it to be more stress free :)) haha
Renee,
I just read your post. I've been there and it is very depressing - it is also VERY dangerous. You say you had already taken 3 10mg lortabs by noon. Lortabs also have alot of tylenol in them - some have 500mg, some have 650 or 750 - multiply that times 3 plus whatever youve taken the rest of the day. I dont mean to scare you, but yes, all that tylenol can harm your liver. I know, like I said, I have been there. I was up to taking over 20-25 10mg percs daily. I was lucky when I had blood work done, that my liver enzymes were "slightly" elevated and had gone back to normal when I stopped overdosing on the pills. You need to stop now. Have you considered talking to your dr. or counseling? I know it may be the hardest thing you feel you have ever done, but it may save your life.
Also, there is an herb called Milk Thistle, that I take daily. It is supposed to help "detoxify" the liver.
The pains you are having may be warning signs - please let us know how you are doing and what you decide to do. You will find alot of support here. You can also find support (face to face) at N/A or A/A meetings. Good luck to you.
Love,
Marie
I just read your post. I've been there and it is very depressing - it is also VERY dangerous. You say you had already taken 3 10mg lortabs by noon. Lortabs also have alot of tylenol in them - some have 500mg, some have 650 or 750 - multiply that times 3 plus whatever youve taken the rest of the day. I dont mean to scare you, but yes, all that tylenol can harm your liver. I know, like I said, I have been there. I was up to taking over 20-25 10mg percs daily. I was lucky when I had blood work done, that my liver enzymes were "slightly" elevated and had gone back to normal when I stopped overdosing on the pills. You need to stop now. Have you considered talking to your dr. or counseling? I know it may be the hardest thing you feel you have ever done, but it may save your life.
Also, there is an herb called Milk Thistle, that I take daily. It is supposed to help "detoxify" the liver.
The pains you are having may be warning signs - please let us know how you are doing and what you decide to do. You will find alot of support here. You can also find support (face to face) at N/A or A/A meetings. Good luck to you.
Love,
Marie
Hi Renee,
I want to second what Marie said. Please, for your own sake, go see a doctor and at least tell him about the pains in your side. He/she can run some tests, determine the cause, prescribe treatment if necessary. "Hope" is not a method of recovery from Tylenol toxification -- i.e., the "hope" that it isn't too serious. As Marie will attest, it can kill you.
As for the depression, hopelessness, and tiredness, I remember those same feelings at the end of my using. It's terrible being in that limbo, knowing you have to stop, scared to hell of what lies after, not believing you can get clean -- or having tried before, and fallen back. I felt all of those things. I just couldn't keep up the dance any longer.
Once you begin taking positive steps toward abstinence and recovery, though, the depression and hopelessness will lift substantially. You know the kind of steps I'm referring to, I think. No longer trying to do it on your own. Getting clean and getting support. And not waiting weeks or months to do it -- develop a plan, make the calls now.....calls to the addictionologists, counsellors, rehab centers, or the like, and following through. The change in mood will be apparent almost immediately. Can you confide in your parents? There's no reason for you to have to do this alone. You will feel so much better about yourself, and life, once you start the process. I stopped over 10 months ago, so while no expert, I can honestly say that my life -- and my perception of my life -- has improved 200%. Please don't give up. You are so worth recovery, and you CAN defeat this addiction. Keep posting, sharing, and asking questions. So glad you're here.
I want to second what Marie said. Please, for your own sake, go see a doctor and at least tell him about the pains in your side. He/she can run some tests, determine the cause, prescribe treatment if necessary. "Hope" is not a method of recovery from Tylenol toxification -- i.e., the "hope" that it isn't too serious. As Marie will attest, it can kill you.
As for the depression, hopelessness, and tiredness, I remember those same feelings at the end of my using. It's terrible being in that limbo, knowing you have to stop, scared to hell of what lies after, not believing you can get clean -- or having tried before, and fallen back. I felt all of those things. I just couldn't keep up the dance any longer.
Once you begin taking positive steps toward abstinence and recovery, though, the depression and hopelessness will lift substantially. You know the kind of steps I'm referring to, I think. No longer trying to do it on your own. Getting clean and getting support. And not waiting weeks or months to do it -- develop a plan, make the calls now.....calls to the addictionologists, counsellors, rehab centers, or the like, and following through. The change in mood will be apparent almost immediately. Can you confide in your parents? There's no reason for you to have to do this alone. You will feel so much better about yourself, and life, once you start the process. I stopped over 10 months ago, so while no expert, I can honestly say that my life -- and my perception of my life -- has improved 200%. Please don't give up. You are so worth recovery, and you CAN defeat this addiction. Keep posting, sharing, and asking questions. So glad you're here.
Hun: all I can say is we all have these days, I promise. Hanging out here REALLY helps me through them. It makes me realize I am FAR from alone in this. Also, Just as you do, I vent here. I get tons of positve feedback and sometimes a few smartass comments but hey, this is a public forum and there is 'one of those' in every bunch so scroll past idiots. Use your fright to get clean. Use that as a motivation. And most of all, stick around here and post or atleast read and I bet you will find someone that is in your same shoes. We love ya, we want to help ya. Stick around.
hey renee i hope ur feeling a little better today. im sorry, i try to give people good advice when they ask me but im not that good at it.....i guess marie and none did have better advice than what i had to say but im still here for you! :))
i just dont know those drugs very well the lortab and soma's cuz im in australia and ive never heard of them....but as i said post to me anytime, i will always listen and reply to u! keep smiling :)) take care xoxoxo
i just dont know those drugs very well the lortab and soma's cuz im in australia and ive never heard of them....but as i said post to me anytime, i will always listen and reply to u! keep smiling :)) take care xoxoxo
