Kev, thanks for the shout out on the other thread.
How's yourself, dear kev? How's your lady doing? Hoping you're feeling alot better about your well everything ya worry about. I have faith in ya Kev.
Me? Angry. Mad as hell. PO'd. Irate I'd say. My daughter. A few weeks things were going alright. She's in a good mood. Answers her phone. Called a few times. However lies her tail off. Was in an apaprtment with 4 people. Then it's one. Lies about the location. Lies she's going to the beach. Chages plans constantly. Then ya have it. Won't answer the phone. MIA.
Basically now I am angry for myself. I don't deserve that. I raised her better. I may have been a heroin addict, but not for her first 8 years. I was a good mother. Disses my own mom and won't even send a card to my grandmom. Lousey to my brothers. Took money from the one and now don't answer him.
I'm not mad for them anymore. How she treats them. I'm mad for ME. One more person asks me where she is or what is wrong? How the he*l do I know? Some people are just ingrates and I have to face that. Even Tres and I were talking and we both said together we didn't lie as much as this kid and we were on heroin. Who knows? I just have to carry on. Do me. That mother's love thing though I so hate to say it. I ain't feeling it. At all. It'slike I wouldn't allow a man to do that to me. Why, why for almost two years now am I allowing this? Reacting to it? Crying, distraught, worried, sick. I could be a lousey no good POS and get better treatment. I ain't doin it no more.
I can't.
Ain't ya glad ya asked, Kev? LOL Sorry. It felt good to get that out.
Bryn....just a hello and a big hug for you...real big....got nothing to ease your sorrow but keeping you and your daughter....even though your fed up with her..:)in my thoughts...:) :)
K
K
Bryn- I am sorry your daughter is being so mean to you and your family. It seems to me that young people have a tendency to think the world owes them everything and that is their right to treat people badly.
Hopefully she will someday grow up and realize she has a wonderful family and without your family you really have nothing. Husbands, friends, whoever when push comes to shove who will always be there, your family.
I know it hurts and that is your daughter but hang in there, keep the door open and one day you will see, it will be better. She obviously is suffering and you are her punching bag to take out her frustrations, you can love her but you need not let her treat you like crap...
Maybe you need to find a young or teenager that needs some adult guidance and a friend to talk to and be there for them, you obviously have alot of love and wisdom to share, might help ease that breaking heart right now?
Why are you not posting on the family board? I miss your wit, have a great day, sherri
Hopefully she will someday grow up and realize she has a wonderful family and without your family you really have nothing. Husbands, friends, whoever when push comes to shove who will always be there, your family.
I know it hurts and that is your daughter but hang in there, keep the door open and one day you will see, it will be better. She obviously is suffering and you are her punching bag to take out her frustrations, you can love her but you need not let her treat you like crap...
Maybe you need to find a young or teenager that needs some adult guidance and a friend to talk to and be there for them, you obviously have alot of love and wisdom to share, might help ease that breaking heart right now?
Why are you not posting on the family board? I miss your wit, have a great day, sherri
Well, Bryn, sounds like the stages of grief, doesn't it? I know what you mean, I'm kind of in the same place myself. I realized awhile back that while my daughter is capable of love, affection, and caring gestures, they do not come easily from her. Whether clean or not she is lazy and self-indulgent, makes excuses for herself and acts like the owrld owes her something. The kind man who helped her into detox has said he sees her and treats her as he would a 15 year old...he's a smart guy...she acts like she's 15.
I've given some serious thought to this and believe that she will do anything for attention...any kind of attention. When the focus for once was on her sister she found a way to turn the spotlight on herself. I know I am being cynical here, but it's what I've thought for awhile now. She has an entitlement mentality and a big poor-me complex that is getting old and wearing thin. I have honestly never met anyone with such an underdeveloped gratitude bone...and she has much to be grateful for...it's tiresome.
I had some advice from a friend who was in a similar situation and she said things didn't change until she really let it all hang out and told her daughter F2F exactly how she felt - the anger, disappointment, resentment, and lack. I am still a little afraid of the depth of those feelings in myself to voice them...and she's still too newly clean and spoiling for a fight. I'm giving the whole thing until October 1st and if things don't improve she's got to go...she doesn't want to be here anyway...just has nowhere else to go.
It's not all bad, but it's not as good as it could be either...and I deserve better...and so do you. I'm glad you're thinking more about yourself, it's time for you, Bryn.
Peace~M&M
I've given some serious thought to this and believe that she will do anything for attention...any kind of attention. When the focus for once was on her sister she found a way to turn the spotlight on herself. I know I am being cynical here, but it's what I've thought for awhile now. She has an entitlement mentality and a big poor-me complex that is getting old and wearing thin. I have honestly never met anyone with such an underdeveloped gratitude bone...and she has much to be grateful for...it's tiresome.
I had some advice from a friend who was in a similar situation and she said things didn't change until she really let it all hang out and told her daughter F2F exactly how she felt - the anger, disappointment, resentment, and lack. I am still a little afraid of the depth of those feelings in myself to voice them...and she's still too newly clean and spoiling for a fight. I'm giving the whole thing until October 1st and if things don't improve she's got to go...she doesn't want to be here anyway...just has nowhere else to go.
It's not all bad, but it's not as good as it could be either...and I deserve better...and so do you. I'm glad you're thinking more about yourself, it's time for you, Bryn.
Peace~M&M
no words for that one--cant say something nic so i wont say nothing...this has gone on too long....
ithink you are justified, and i doubt you really will stop worrying and stressing completely, but i sure am glad that happening somewhat, you deserve to "do you" haha for awhile, oh bryn, if you only knew how cool you are....well i guess then you just be pompous, but whatever, yeah i know im not making much sense, but really busy lately and so i am sleep derived at the moment, sleep is an odd thing--too much and your depressed and irritable not enough and you get all loopy, but its so hard to get an even amount
ithink you are justified, and i doubt you really will stop worrying and stressing completely, but i sure am glad that happening somewhat, you deserve to "do you" haha for awhile, oh bryn, if you only knew how cool you are....well i guess then you just be pompous, but whatever, yeah i know im not making much sense, but really busy lately and so i am sleep derived at the moment, sleep is an odd thing--too much and your depressed and irritable not enough and you get all loopy, but its so hard to get an even amount
"UNDERDEVELOPED GRATITUDE BONE"
Now that's what I'm talking about, M&M.
Thank you all for your kind replies and I appreciate all the times you all have let me vent and moan.
M&M's friend is wise if ya ask me................and I did the whole "nice mommy, supportive mommy, tough love mommy, counseling, therapy"...........did it ALL..........and ya know what.................finally I'm like "Enough. I am mad, and beyond angry and I am saying it and then some"...............took two days of not touching food or sleep or even speaking to anyone and now...........I surrender.........I give it all up...................I'm out................there's no inbetween..............I want nothing to do with her, or anyone else who is going to treat me nasty and like s*it.............I don't deserve that.............and M&M like you said "She don't wanna be here"..............that about killed me........they are my mom's words as well....................guess what...............GOOD.......save me the aggrevation..
I was kind of feeling like "Well it's a mother's duty no matter to blah blah blah".........no it's my duty as a human being to get on with my bad self and knock this crap off and the only way it's like heroin.
No little bit.................no now and again.................no every once in awhile...........I quit..................I'm getting clean and I ain't picking up..........just like I did with heroin......................I wasted alot of time.
Thank you again my dear ones................I appreciate you all...........oh because I have gratitude...............and I want to be here...............heck my life is quiet...............saves me the drama..............thanks again.
Now that's what I'm talking about, M&M.
Thank you all for your kind replies and I appreciate all the times you all have let me vent and moan.
M&M's friend is wise if ya ask me................and I did the whole "nice mommy, supportive mommy, tough love mommy, counseling, therapy"...........did it ALL..........and ya know what.................finally I'm like "Enough. I am mad, and beyond angry and I am saying it and then some"...............took two days of not touching food or sleep or even speaking to anyone and now...........I surrender.........I give it all up...................I'm out................there's no inbetween..............I want nothing to do with her, or anyone else who is going to treat me nasty and like s*it.............I don't deserve that.............and M&M like you said "She don't wanna be here"..............that about killed me........they are my mom's words as well....................guess what...............GOOD.......save me the aggrevation..
I was kind of feeling like "Well it's a mother's duty no matter to blah blah blah".........no it's my duty as a human being to get on with my bad self and knock this crap off and the only way it's like heroin.
No little bit.................no now and again.................no every once in awhile...........I quit..................I'm getting clean and I ain't picking up..........just like I did with heroin......................I wasted alot of time.
Thank you again my dear ones................I appreciate you all...........oh because I have gratitude...............and I want to be here...............heck my life is quiet...............saves me the drama..............thanks again.
BRYN-BRYN-BRYN,,i,d be a liar if i said i knew what u were going through,I DINNAE KEN,"like that mom"anyway i think i,m off on my travel,s again,nothing exotic,just a tour of scotland,loch lomond up to loch ness,up the west coast to the Orkney and Shetland isles,WHERE MEN R MEN AND SHEEP R SCARED,my luck the noo,i,ll end up wi one wi glasses or a f***in gimp,anyway from there off the boat at Aberdeen,quick tour round there,down the east coast to Dundee,St Andrew,s,Edinburgh and quick tour round there and that,s me to my knowledge,finito.The reason i,ve jumped in between all of u adorable female,s IS,that i will most probably be taking them to some of the woolen mill,s and if u described one of those scarve,s 2e i could most probably shoplift one,JOKE,u describe it honey and i will get u one bcoz i don,t really think u know your true worth to everyone on this site,u maybe don,t believe this but i personally think of u even when i,m nowhere near a computer,don,t know why i just do,so please get your boney a** back on b4 tuesday and describe what u want and i,ll get it for u as a wee thank-you token from everyone for being OUR BRYN,u dont need an address we can sort something out ,a P.O box or whatever the f*** u call them.i also think everyone feel,s along the same line,s as me about u.i also seen a few week,s ago about u askin bout old posters,one by the name of ginny,if she is scottish her sis is married to my brother-in-law and she is a drug worker doing fab,get back to me Brynn and i,ll get u a scarf,don,t ask for any jacobite tartan,s though,i.e ,bonnie prince chalie,e.t.c,or me and Davy will be at it again,but sweetcheeks your wish is my command,might,even c if i can get picture of myself with a highland cow,let u decide which one the cow is,i,ll be the one with the horn,s most likely.t,will be spanish and ,or,portugese tourist,s i,ll most probably have.catch ye all soon,,have a nice day..eckiefcukindee...xxxx
Eckie, we do miss ya...but you're more than a little whack...I mean that in the nicest possible way =)
Hope you're feeling well, your brother is feeling well, and you're keeping it all together one day at a time.
Peace~MomNMore
Hope you're feeling well, your brother is feeling well, and you're keeping it all together one day at a time.
Peace~MomNMore
Bryn, having a kid is not an all or nothing event...you can't just get clean from the little turds...don't we wish. You are ready to move on and when you do, things will change with her...later maybe than sooner, but they will change. Someone once drew this analogy for me when I was in for the first time with Ryan...
You just got to a party and everyone keeps coming up to you saying, "Have you had anything to eat? Have you been to the buffet? You should have something to eat?" etc,etc... You think all eyes are on you so you decline to eat, saying you're not hungry, no thanks, etc. Once you are no longer the new person in the room and realize evreyone is not, in fact, looking at you, then you'll mosey on over and try a few small bites. When you realize it's really very good, you'll have some more until the next thing you know you're holding a plate like everyone else and having a fine old time.
Maybe your girl's not biting cause everyone's waiting and watching, or at least she thinks so...once you turn your attention to other things, well who knows what might happen? I do know you'll feel better...I sure do. Even though I've been thinking about R lots lately, I still know that I'm done with feeling like shi+ because of her problems and attitudes.
Good to see you feeling you deserve better...you SO do.
Peace~M&M
You just got to a party and everyone keeps coming up to you saying, "Have you had anything to eat? Have you been to the buffet? You should have something to eat?" etc,etc... You think all eyes are on you so you decline to eat, saying you're not hungry, no thanks, etc. Once you are no longer the new person in the room and realize evreyone is not, in fact, looking at you, then you'll mosey on over and try a few small bites. When you realize it's really very good, you'll have some more until the next thing you know you're holding a plate like everyone else and having a fine old time.
Maybe your girl's not biting cause everyone's waiting and watching, or at least she thinks so...once you turn your attention to other things, well who knows what might happen? I do know you'll feel better...I sure do. Even though I've been thinking about R lots lately, I still know that I'm done with feeling like shi+ because of her problems and attitudes.
Good to see you feeling you deserve better...you SO do.
Peace~M&M
Hi Bryn! I sure hate to see that things are still going bad with your daughter. I don't have any advice for ya as I am going through heck w/ my son. Although, he is just going to be 13 in a couple of weeks and by no means what you are going through I am still about ready to strangle him.
Such a smarta$$ mouth........backtalking.....saying crap to his dad to try and get me in "trouble" like today he said I hide stuff all the time from his dad. The only thing I've hidden is the fact that my son ran up our cell phone bill to $700.00 and I don't tell him how many movies I buy (I am a movie fanatic and I buy too many)....but that is it. The little ingrate should be grateful for me not telling his dad bout the phone bill, but grateful isn't in his vocabulary.
I haven't told hubby bout phone bill b/c somehow it will become my fault and not my sons.......like it wouldn't have happened if I had not gotten son a phone.......No, it wouldn't have but he should have enough sense to use the phone responsibly. My daughter is younger than him and she has never done that.
Anyway, I don't know what to do with the little brat. Hubby won't do anything and son knows it and plays him against me. I have honestly never heard a child talk to their parent the way my son talks to me. It makes me mad but it hurts my feelings too. I am fed up with him. I love him....but I don't like him very much right now.
Sorry....I got off on a rant. I really hope things get better w/ your daughter. She should realize what a wonderful mom she has and how lucky she is for having you.
<waving> @ MOM!
Such a smarta$$ mouth........backtalking.....saying crap to his dad to try and get me in "trouble" like today he said I hide stuff all the time from his dad. The only thing I've hidden is the fact that my son ran up our cell phone bill to $700.00 and I don't tell him how many movies I buy (I am a movie fanatic and I buy too many)....but that is it. The little ingrate should be grateful for me not telling his dad bout the phone bill, but grateful isn't in his vocabulary.
I haven't told hubby bout phone bill b/c somehow it will become my fault and not my sons.......like it wouldn't have happened if I had not gotten son a phone.......No, it wouldn't have but he should have enough sense to use the phone responsibly. My daughter is younger than him and she has never done that.
Anyway, I don't know what to do with the little brat. Hubby won't do anything and son knows it and plays him against me. I have honestly never heard a child talk to their parent the way my son talks to me. It makes me mad but it hurts my feelings too. I am fed up with him. I love him....but I don't like him very much right now.
Sorry....I got off on a rant. I really hope things get better w/ your daughter. She should realize what a wonderful mom she has and how lucky she is for having you.
<waving> @ MOM!
Rhonda, I hate to know he's hurting your feelings...they don't even think we have feelings the little turds. And gratitude...don't get me started...not much of that around here lately and mine's 21. "Peaks and valleys" my mom always said..."We're just looking for more peaks than valleys when you average it out over a lifetime." But cripes, who wants to wait that long?!
Peace lady~M&M
Peace lady~M&M
Thanks MOM. I appreciate your kind words. I keep thinking that it will get better as he gets older, but judging from Bryn's situation and your 21 yr. old I guess I am just fooling myself. LOL
Good to see ya!
Good to see ya!
hey Bryn, yeah i am glad i asked, wish you werent going through any of that sh*t, but glad you got it off your chest. Why do you still get angry? Why do you still react? Cause you love her....plain and simple, it's a funny old thing love....
Glad you popped on to say hey, you know it'll all get better with time where your daughter is concerned, it might not look that way just now, but you deserve the good things in life...happiness, love, joy. We all do! I have faith in you bryn, this will turn itself around.....
I'm doing ok, not a lot to tell really. Things are fine at the mo, my partner has moved in with me so i'm happy about that. I tweisted my ankle on thur and was off work yest....what a boring day!! it made me realise i need to start looking for a new job as this one is up in oct. That one day in the house was enough.... I've started a kick boxing class so that'll build my confidence up a bit so looking forward to getting into that, but might miss it this week due to ankle. As far as drugs go, things have been ok. Still taking my naltrexone every morning with my coffee, been craving drink reeeeeaaaaaal bad, but managed to steer clear..cheers for the shout be on later as away to work AU REVIOR!!
Glad you popped on to say hey, you know it'll all get better with time where your daughter is concerned, it might not look that way just now, but you deserve the good things in life...happiness, love, joy. We all do! I have faith in you bryn, this will turn itself around.....
I'm doing ok, not a lot to tell really. Things are fine at the mo, my partner has moved in with me so i'm happy about that. I tweisted my ankle on thur and was off work yest....what a boring day!! it made me realise i need to start looking for a new job as this one is up in oct. That one day in the house was enough.... I've started a kick boxing class so that'll build my confidence up a bit so looking forward to getting into that, but might miss it this week due to ankle. As far as drugs go, things have been ok. Still taking my naltrexone every morning with my coffee, been craving drink reeeeeaaaaaal bad, but managed to steer clear..cheers for the shout be on later as away to work AU REVIOR!!
