this will be my first sober Christmas (God willing) and I just wondered how you all handle the holidays and Christmas and all the associated stress now that you're in recovery. Any tips would be welcome.
Christmas is at my place this year and I've already made a committment to myself that I'm not going to expect too much of myself - easier said than done of course!!
Good Topic Idg....hadn't thought about this one in a while.
At Christmas last year, I only had a couple of months sober time. It sucked Jingle balls to have to be sober! LOL....I found myself pissed off at everyone around me because they were able to have the Nog and Buttered Rums. I never even liked either of those Holiday cocktails before I got sober. When we did have people over they all tried to be nice and ask if it was okay if they had wine or whatever. Of course I said it was...but deep down I was mad. I was only mad at myself but I was really good at projecting it on everyone else. I also didn't go to any Holiday parties on purpose. Just too tempting.
Do the people coming to your home drink much? If they don't then tell them you want your party to be alcohol free. If they know you and love you they will understand.
O/T
Also....isn't it summer there? Does Santa wear a different outfit in Australia other than that hot wool red suit and black boots? If not the children must think he got kicked in the head by the dunny emus!! LOL..I kid I tell ya! :) Idg I know I didn't get that right but that is what I remember of it. Perhaps you could write it back so I know the correct way to say it! LMAO
Back on topic: My advice to you is take steps and precautions well in advance so everyone knows what your situation is.If not trust me you will have an anxiety ridden holiday. Your sobriety should not be at risk just so other people can drink and have fun. They can drink when they get home.
Your Pal Vally
At Christmas last year, I only had a couple of months sober time. It sucked Jingle balls to have to be sober! LOL....I found myself pissed off at everyone around me because they were able to have the Nog and Buttered Rums. I never even liked either of those Holiday cocktails before I got sober. When we did have people over they all tried to be nice and ask if it was okay if they had wine or whatever. Of course I said it was...but deep down I was mad. I was only mad at myself but I was really good at projecting it on everyone else. I also didn't go to any Holiday parties on purpose. Just too tempting.
Do the people coming to your home drink much? If they don't then tell them you want your party to be alcohol free. If they know you and love you they will understand.
O/T
Also....isn't it summer there? Does Santa wear a different outfit in Australia other than that hot wool red suit and black boots? If not the children must think he got kicked in the head by the dunny emus!! LOL..I kid I tell ya! :) Idg I know I didn't get that right but that is what I remember of it. Perhaps you could write it back so I know the correct way to say it! LMAO
Back on topic: My advice to you is take steps and precautions well in advance so everyone knows what your situation is.If not trust me you will have an anxiety ridden holiday. Your sobriety should not be at risk just so other people can drink and have fun. They can drink when they get home.
Your Pal Vally
Hi Vally
My last christmas was good in so many ways except I don't remember about 3 hours of the afternoon - blah!!!
My parents are coming to stay and yes they drink quite a bit. Well, daily but not huge quantities. But generally more at Christmas which they see as party time. However, they are a long way from alkies.
They will be here for quite a few days. I'm not having a "party" at home just the Christmas day thing. I'm not sure how to handle it yet.
My main thing is to try and avoid stress as that is a trigger for me. Meanwhile I'll just work on building up my sobriety NOW and let Christmas take care of itself.
My last christmas was good in so many ways except I don't remember about 3 hours of the afternoon - blah!!!
My parents are coming to stay and yes they drink quite a bit. Well, daily but not huge quantities. But generally more at Christmas which they see as party time. However, they are a long way from alkies.
They will be here for quite a few days. I'm not having a "party" at home just the Christmas day thing. I'm not sure how to handle it yet.
My main thing is to try and avoid stress as that is a trigger for me. Meanwhile I'll just work on building up my sobriety NOW and let Christmas take care of itself.
Idg,
The good thing about all of this is that you have already been thinking about it and are trying to come up with a plan. I would seriously have one in place. When we are caught unprepared is when all hell breaks loose!
Do you parents know of your struggle with alcohol? If they do then you should just ban it from the house. Remember that they can go back to their regular lives and continue on as if nothing is wrong while if you relapse you are left to pick up the pieces. Perhaps you could talk to your H about a plan of a positive, happy, sober holiday time???? Is that possible at all? Holidays are really hard my friend. You can get through it though. If I can do it anyone can. I went from having to get up and take a shot to function and not be sick, to cold turkey. Even though I was off of it for a couple of months the cravings were huge at Christmas. New Year's Eve was a really boring night at home. But when I woke up on January 1st and wasn't hung over I was soo happy! Good luck to you!
P.S. Helloooooo???? What of it with the Australian Santa attire. Remember today is a day that mice will play! LOLOL ....
Vally
The good thing about all of this is that you have already been thinking about it and are trying to come up with a plan. I would seriously have one in place. When we are caught unprepared is when all hell breaks loose!
Do you parents know of your struggle with alcohol? If they do then you should just ban it from the house. Remember that they can go back to their regular lives and continue on as if nothing is wrong while if you relapse you are left to pick up the pieces. Perhaps you could talk to your H about a plan of a positive, happy, sober holiday time???? Is that possible at all? Holidays are really hard my friend. You can get through it though. If I can do it anyone can. I went from having to get up and take a shot to function and not be sick, to cold turkey. Even though I was off of it for a couple of months the cravings were huge at Christmas. New Year's Eve was a really boring night at home. But when I woke up on January 1st and wasn't hung over I was soo happy! Good luck to you!
P.S. Helloooooo???? What of it with the Australian Santa attire. Remember today is a day that mice will play! LOLOL ....
Vally
Hi Idgie...Good topic...I remember my first Thanksgiving sober...it was ROUGH...we always went to my aunt's house and drinking was a part of the holiday...me and my cousins were in our late teens (19) to mid twenties...I didn't want to "ruin" their holiday by asking them not to drink...but when they started the vodka tonics (my fav drink) I thought I was going to die...I went into another room...
Christmas wasn't too bad but there were other reasons for that...I had found out I was pregnant...Yeah Merry Christmas Mom and Dad (I was 19, 4 months sober, and dating my future husband for 3 months---yeah I know didn't listen to that particular suggestion)...so the focus wasn't really on drinking it was on how Gina was screwing up her life once again!
As time has gone by...being around people drinking doesn't bother me at all anymore...only if they are sloppy or an angry drunk...
It took time to get there though...In the beginning you are so raw and "delicate" so I did try to avoid being around alcohol as much as possible at the same time people drink and I had to adjust and learn to say no or I don't drink...
You are planning...You are aware...take it a moment at a time...set up some boundaries or rules...and take care of you...Remember H A L T: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired...warning signals to relapse...
Do you go to AA? If you do go to as many meetings as you can...pick up the phone...have phone numbers ready to call...call your sponser...
Or have support from friends and family who understand...And of course you have us...
Love Gina
Christmas wasn't too bad but there were other reasons for that...I had found out I was pregnant...Yeah Merry Christmas Mom and Dad (I was 19, 4 months sober, and dating my future husband for 3 months---yeah I know didn't listen to that particular suggestion)...so the focus wasn't really on drinking it was on how Gina was screwing up her life once again!
As time has gone by...being around people drinking doesn't bother me at all anymore...only if they are sloppy or an angry drunk...
It took time to get there though...In the beginning you are so raw and "delicate" so I did try to avoid being around alcohol as much as possible at the same time people drink and I had to adjust and learn to say no or I don't drink...
You are planning...You are aware...take it a moment at a time...set up some boundaries or rules...and take care of you...Remember H A L T: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired...warning signals to relapse...
Do you go to AA? If you do go to as many meetings as you can...pick up the phone...have phone numbers ready to call...call your sponser...
Or have support from friends and family who understand...And of course you have us...
Love Gina
Hi Gina
thanks for sharing your experience. Yes I do go to AA, but if I talk to my sponsor about christmas right now she will slap me upside my head (and probably rightly so), for already fretting about something that is almost 2 months away LOL.
Val
well they don't know I'm alcoholic, they do know I've been "cutting back" on my drinking. I have lived a long distance from them since I was 18 and so have been able to hide it from them. Once it gets a bit closer I will talk with my sponsor about what the options are.
Well as you know my H drinks - I have no idea what Christmas will bring as far as him and drinking...meanwhile I'll just get back to focussing on today.
Yes we have Santa and he does wear a red suit...
thanks for sharing your experience. Yes I do go to AA, but if I talk to my sponsor about christmas right now she will slap me upside my head (and probably rightly so), for already fretting about something that is almost 2 months away LOL.
Val
well they don't know I'm alcoholic, they do know I've been "cutting back" on my drinking. I have lived a long distance from them since I was 18 and so have been able to hide it from them. Once it gets a bit closer I will talk with my sponsor about what the options are.
Well as you know my H drinks - I have no idea what Christmas will bring as far as him and drinking...meanwhile I'll just get back to focussing on today.
Yes we have Santa and he does wear a red suit...
Hey Idg,
I meant does your Santa wear the hot wool suit in the summer over there? Sounds strange to me.
IMHO your sponsor shouldn't get mad because you are trying to have a plan way ahead of time. Keep in mind I don't go to AA so I am not familiar with the teachings. It just doesn't make sense to me not to have a plan. Talk with your sponsor though for sure so you and she can come up with something.
As for the family situation. Now I understand. I didn't realize that they didn't know completely. You will be able to handle it pal. I believe in you!
I meant does your Santa wear the hot wool suit in the summer over there? Sounds strange to me.
IMHO your sponsor shouldn't get mad because you are trying to have a plan way ahead of time. Keep in mind I don't go to AA so I am not familiar with the teachings. It just doesn't make sense to me not to have a plan. Talk with your sponsor though for sure so you and she can come up with something.
As for the family situation. Now I understand. I didn't realize that they didn't know completely. You will be able to handle it pal. I believe in you!
Hi Idgie...Yes I am sure your sponser will tell you to keep in the day...don't project...but telling her how you feel now might relieve some anxiety and will make her aware of your fear...And she might have some of her own suggestions...Love Gina
thks Gina and Val
Yes I'll talk to my sponsor, probably see her tuesday night.
Vally - you silly they wear the whole get up - I don't think its wool though, probably synthetic these days LOL. But not a fun job in the heat!!
Poor santa, he's not even allowed to be fat these days, too politically incorrect.
Yes I'll talk to my sponsor, probably see her tuesday night.
Vally - you silly they wear the whole get up - I don't think its wool though, probably synthetic these days LOL. But not a fun job in the heat!!
Poor santa, he's not even allowed to be fat these days, too politically incorrect.
There's my Idgie....LOLOL...I guess you can't call him fat you have to call him weight challenged? ROTFLMAO Political correctness is getting out of control.
Chat at your sponsor and see what she thinks. Perhaps you should talk about all the other stuff too. Good idea. If not you will have it rolling around in your head and you might get a headache from all that rattling. My God if any of us could have wine I would offer up some with all of this cheese I've been serving up today! LOLLOL.. I know I know...I'm a cornball!
Love, Vally
Chat at your sponsor and see what she thinks. Perhaps you should talk about all the other stuff too. Good idea. If not you will have it rolling around in your head and you might get a headache from all that rattling. My God if any of us could have wine I would offer up some with all of this cheese I've been serving up today! LOLLOL.. I know I know...I'm a cornball!
Love, Vally
Hey Idgie you old worrier you God can i relate to that
It's ok to plan ahead for contacts and safe options BUT try not to worry ahead about the what ifs and the unknown and this is where i have to rely on my higher power and gratitude to help me through any situations IF they happen and Our house can be full of pissed people and sober as well all through the Christmas period and if i need time out i just take time or if my partner is getting pissed and lippy i am the one with the good memory now and can remind her.
Sometimes i used to get the piss taken out of me a bit too much for the s***e i used to get up to and i still have the odd person who comes up with a beer and says go on have a drink and depending on how drunk they are depends on the answer they get and i go to people the next day if they pee me off to much.
At the end of the day I'm the one who can't drink so as long as i don't i'm ok and it does get easier to cope with. I always drink out of a bottle and take it with me as the last thing i want is a spike in the glass and i'm on my a*s, in reality that is my biggest worrie and only when i'm at pubs
Remember Idgie you are the one changing and family and friends usually aren't so don't expect to much and have a list of all the meetings real handy
Light and love Zac
It's ok to plan ahead for contacts and safe options BUT try not to worry ahead about the what ifs and the unknown and this is where i have to rely on my higher power and gratitude to help me through any situations IF they happen and Our house can be full of pissed people and sober as well all through the Christmas period and if i need time out i just take time or if my partner is getting pissed and lippy i am the one with the good memory now and can remind her.
Sometimes i used to get the piss taken out of me a bit too much for the s***e i used to get up to and i still have the odd person who comes up with a beer and says go on have a drink and depending on how drunk they are depends on the answer they get and i go to people the next day if they pee me off to much.
At the end of the day I'm the one who can't drink so as long as i don't i'm ok and it does get easier to cope with. I always drink out of a bottle and take it with me as the last thing i want is a spike in the glass and i'm on my a*s, in reality that is my biggest worrie and only when i'm at pubs
Remember Idgie you are the one changing and family and friends usually aren't so don't expect to much and have a list of all the meetings real handy
Light and love Zac
Hey vally
no one has ever accused me of being PC LOL - you know I sometimes call my H something in fun....a word that begins with N. LOL you know to what I refer.
Idgie
no one has ever accused me of being PC LOL - you know I sometimes call my H something in fun....a word that begins with N. LOL you know to what I refer.
Idgie
Hey Zac
thanks for that - yeah i have to remember it not up to them to change for me - its up to me to change for me.
good post that helped mea lot . Yes its the balanced between having a plan and living it all out in your head 50 times before it happens - that's my weakness - and why I said my sponsor would smack me one LOL.
OK so I'm thrilled about being sober today and I may resurrect this topic closer to the big holiday. Hey on a positive note at least I don't have Thanksgiving to worry about these days LOL
thanks for that - yeah i have to remember it not up to them to change for me - its up to me to change for me.
good post that helped mea lot . Yes its the balanced between having a plan and living it all out in your head 50 times before it happens - that's my weakness - and why I said my sponsor would smack me one LOL.
OK so I'm thrilled about being sober today and I may resurrect this topic closer to the big holiday. Hey on a positive note at least I don't have Thanksgiving to worry about these days LOL
Hey Girl...I would snatch you bald headed if you ever called me that! LOL..Too funny!
My H calls me nightmare too. Except he calls me a Nightmare on Wheels! LOLOL
My H calls me nightmare too. Except he calls me a Nightmare on Wheels! LOLOL
hey vally
you know I never would - and I would do the same if it was anyone else said it LOL.
I only ever say it in fun - never when I'm angry or upset, mostly when I'm being lovey-dovey which is probably kind of weird LOL.
Actually I don't call him that too often cause we have nicknames for each other . ...I won't post them here though - I'll email you later .
you know I never would - and I would do the same if it was anyone else said it LOL.
I only ever say it in fun - never when I'm angry or upset, mostly when I'm being lovey-dovey which is probably kind of weird LOL.
Actually I don't call him that too often cause we have nicknames for each other . ...I won't post them here though - I'll email you later .
hi,
I am yet to make a sober christmas. At an AA meeting i heard a good idea.
A mother who was in AA had christmas at her place. Her daughter made her a glass of sparkling mineral water in a special glass (maybe wine glass, not sure) and she put a srawberry in the bottom so she didnt mix her glass with anyone elses.
All day the daughter made sure that her mothers glass was never empty and gave her many fresh strawberries over the day.
The mother shared this at a meeting and said it really helped her feel like she was in with the holiday spirit.
thanks for the practical suggestion Shark Girl.
I actually makea pretty good (non-alcoholic) punch now that I think about it - I'll definately make that up this year with lots of strawberries in it.
I actually makea pretty good (non-alcoholic) punch now that I think about it - I'll definately make that up this year with lots of strawberries in it.
