House is Evil - People Places Things - Triggers
I am starting a new post from my comment on a different topic.
* * * * * * ** ** * * * * * *
You are so right about your home and you (mom and dad) are triggers!
I always forget that one.
Just like the rooms in the house hold haunting memories for you, they do for them too. The party memories and the bad memories - there isnt a good room in the house!!
It is in their best interest that they do not come home. Too easy to slip into the same old habits.
I wish there was a good solution to their housing problems - maybe it is the halfway house. They just need to get their brain to the point where they understand that putting up with the rules is worth staying clean and stepping stone to getting their life back.
lol - letting them come back home is as sick as making an alcoholic tend bar. yet we think it is our obligation to let them live at home, and that we are failing them if we ask them to leave!
We have to remember to put a better spin on it --- This is for your own good, and list the reasons. Keeping them at home is almost like keeping them from growing.
wow
NY...good call...I could never stay at parents house any longer than a few days without using...staying in my old room would trigger me instantly. ..the emotional complexities and the family dynamics.no matter how supportive...would find me using...or looking to use...I would end up in junkie mode no matter how hard I tried not to...hell...even the silverware in the kitchen would trigger...for me...it was the fastest way to OD if I was going to....sometimes I think we try to alienate the most important people in our lives the hardest because they are the ones that can make us feel the most...
So true..... you are on to something.. alienate the ones closest to us (them) because they are part of the trigger, even though they (mom and dad) are trying to help. I can see it as subconscious that they need to leave home (family support) for their own survival.
As it is in nature, the cubs are on their own after a short time. Some make it and some dont. That's what the family has to understand.
From this statement I can see that they (the addict) can not hit bottom and make their own decision to get clean if the family is holding them up like a life preserver. Their brain cant hit that spot that says "I can climb out of this". If the family keeps helping. It is demonstrating that they are not capable of climbing out of this, (the addict) needs my help. It is sabotage.
A friends daughter who was not an addict but going through some stuff, told her mom "this house is suicidal". hurtful and shocking for the mom to hear. the mom's perspective is that the house is filled with love and support. from the child's perspective it is not.
my daughter one time said "I cant stand the way you (mom and dad) look at me." she could not stand to be in the same room. even if nothing was said, and no looks were given, the memories, good and bad, linger all over the house.
The bad memories trigger guilt and the good memories trigger guilt. Its a no win situation.
As it is in nature, the cubs are on their own after a short time. Some make it and some dont. That's what the family has to understand.
From this statement I can see that they (the addict) can not hit bottom and make their own decision to get clean if the family is holding them up like a life preserver. Their brain cant hit that spot that says "I can climb out of this". If the family keeps helping. It is demonstrating that they are not capable of climbing out of this, (the addict) needs my help. It is sabotage.
A friends daughter who was not an addict but going through some stuff, told her mom "this house is suicidal". hurtful and shocking for the mom to hear. the mom's perspective is that the house is filled with love and support. from the child's perspective it is not.
my daughter one time said "I cant stand the way you (mom and dad) look at me." she could not stand to be in the same room. even if nothing was said, and no looks were given, the memories, good and bad, linger all over the house.
The bad memories trigger guilt and the good memories trigger guilt. Its a no win situation.
