I watched a movie last night called "In her shoes" about 2 sisters one of whom is an alcoholic.
Good movie - a bit hollywoody in parts but what struck a chord for me was two things.
1. the havoc caused on the family by the alcoholic
2. the effect of dishonesty on the family - the whole family became dishonest as a result of their co-dependency - not just the alcoholic who was really dishonest.
But it really made me think - all the levels of dishonesty that were in play in the movie - and it wasn't until the characters started getting honest that they were able to start healing.
Only a movie but it was what I needed to see and hear about last night.
The dishonesty of an alcoholic is chronic and for me I have so far still to go in understanding my own dishonesty. There are so many layers to it and some of them are very subtle. I think it will be a long time before I sort through it all. But I can do one thing for myself - by staying sober I can not create MORE situations of dishonesty.
When I was drinking I didn't care that I was being dishonesty - it seemed insignificant in relation to my need to drink. Now I am starting to care and the thought of that helps me to not pick up that first drink, cause I know if I did I'd be tempted to lie about it - to my husband, to people in AA - and then boom the whole cycle will start again.
I am a firm believer in this equation: Actions + Time = TRUST
Hi Idgie,
I'd like to have seen that movie...I was raised in an alcoholic family and I didn't even really see the dysfunction or dishonesty until I got clean & sober. I can look back now and see how being in a codependent/alcoholic family how my perception on things have been altered and I can see it now in my family. I do know today, as time goes on and I work on me and my recovery, how my children and husband are also healing from the insanity.
I know, for me, when I am honest, open and willing, when I'm reaching out for that conscious contact with my HP, God, he speaks to me through so many different channels. I hear or see the message in all different shapes and forms and I thank him on a daily basis. The miracles are all around us on a daily basis and when I'm spritually fit, I see them in abundance....
Thanks for sharing!
Love ya,
Stacey
I'd like to have seen that movie...I was raised in an alcoholic family and I didn't even really see the dysfunction or dishonesty until I got clean & sober. I can look back now and see how being in a codependent/alcoholic family how my perception on things have been altered and I can see it now in my family. I do know today, as time goes on and I work on me and my recovery, how my children and husband are also healing from the insanity.
| QUOTE |
| Only a movie but it was what I needed to see and hear about last night. |
I know, for me, when I am honest, open and willing, when I'm reaching out for that conscious contact with my HP, God, he speaks to me through so many different channels. I hear or see the message in all different shapes and forms and I thank him on a daily basis. The miracles are all around us on a daily basis and when I'm spritually fit, I see them in abundance....
Thanks for sharing!
Love ya,
Stacey
Idg,
That movie is fantastic. I saw it when it came out and I saw myself in Cameron's character. It's all fun and games until we sober up huh? All the things that she was doing was crushing her sister and she didn't give it a second thought. We have all been there and done that.
After about 2 years into my sobriety one of my family members brought up some stuff I did like 10 years ago. I was shocked because I had apologized for it and thought they accepted my apology. Turns out they were still holding on to some resentment about my behavior. I never imagined how I had hurt my family and friends. I thought making amends makes it all better. Sometimes you can do all the right things and time can pass but people still hold onto it.
Nothing I can do about it though. I am sober now and that is all that matters.
Good thread pal! :-)
That movie is fantastic. I saw it when it came out and I saw myself in Cameron's character. It's all fun and games until we sober up huh? All the things that she was doing was crushing her sister and she didn't give it a second thought. We have all been there and done that.
After about 2 years into my sobriety one of my family members brought up some stuff I did like 10 years ago. I was shocked because I had apologized for it and thought they accepted my apology. Turns out they were still holding on to some resentment about my behavior. I never imagined how I had hurt my family and friends. I thought making amends makes it all better. Sometimes you can do all the right things and time can pass but people still hold onto it.
Nothing I can do about it though. I am sober now and that is all that matters.
Good thread pal! :-)
Hi Vally and Stacey!!! and Lineman!
Yup it is a good movie - cameron diaz played the drunk sister really well I thought.
Stacey it's a mainstream film you can probably find it on DVD without much trouble.
Yeah honesty is a funny thing - it kind of grows on you though.
Yup it is a good movie - cameron diaz played the drunk sister really well I thought.
Stacey it's a mainstream film you can probably find it on DVD without much trouble.
Yeah honesty is a funny thing - it kind of grows on you though.
