Well, I hit rock bottom. Never thought I would. I could really use someone to talk to if anyone doesn't mind giving me their phone number. I thought that the slight slip up that I posted would be enough for me but I failed miserably. I am a professional, never had any record, no speeding ticket, not even a parking ticket. Well, I spent the night Saturday night from 5:30pm until 3:30am in the county jail. I was charged with public intoxication.. Staying home today... Having alot of guilt, shame, depression and feel just horrible about what happened. Although it was a misdemeanor offense, I didn't have to wear the jail jump suit, it was humiliating and embarrasing. It all started when I left my home due to my husband and my problems, decided what the heck, went to a local bar had a few drinks, decided call a friend on my cell long distance. I went and parked my car behind a local shoping center where I noticed an old man going thru the dumpster scrounging for food. I decided to go and talk to him. My friend was on the phone with me the entire time. I offered to help him, take him to buy him something to eat. It was interesting and sad to see how people can be so despirate. I looked in the dumpster with him which was behind a local mexican restaurant as he was pulling out chicken, donuts hot dogs etc. He told me he was getting it for his animals. I felt so bad for him. It started raining and he left. I stayed parked and still talking to my friend when a mexican guy approached my car and started yelling at me asking me why me and the old man , which was gone now, had gone thru his dumpster. He was yelling calling me horrible names. It was clear he didn't speak any english. The way he approached me, cursing me etc. got me very riled up. I got out of my car, followed him in the back door of the restaurant and because I was 9'foot tall and bullet proof and madder than anyone could possibly imagine, I gave him a piece of my mind.
I asked to see his green card which he said he didn't have one. I proceeded to tell him, if he is illigal he needs to go back where he came from. I went back to my car and the cops were there and arested me for public intoxication. The cops told me that they did understand what I did and that even they weren't allowed to even ask for a green card not alone go into the back door of a public establishment without a warrant. One officer told me that he totally understood but because I obviously had been drinking, I was under arrest. I spent the next 10 hours in jail. The old man came back and told the officers that I was only trying to help him and they told him that It didn;t matter. I was under arrest.
Sure could use some of my buddies here's phone numbers to actually talk to .
I am having a horrible time today.
Tremor
Awww, tremor, I used to do all kinds of embarassing things when I was drunk. I found that the best way to not get embarassed is to not drink. Not one. If I don't drink one, then I won't get drunk. Easy, huh? I'm not here to preach, I hope it doesn't sound that way. I want you to know I know how you feel and that you aren't alone. Have you given AA any thought? I see you keep ignoring my posts about it and I take that as you aren't interested so I won't mention it again but I'll tell ya, if it wasn't for AA I'd probably still be trying to drink like other people and failing miserably. Life isn't so bad without booze. I find I like it a whole lot better. Hang in there. Don't let things get you down. You haven't done anything that someone else hasn't done. I hope you mean it when you say this is your bottom. That helps us stay sober. So just for today, don't take a drink, ok?
Thanks 12 Stepper,
Yes I have noticed your constant bringing up of AA. And yes, I knew you were probably thinking I was ignoring you but I wasn't . I live in a small town and had tried to call AA a while back when I knew I needed help. No-one at that time could even tell me where and when a meeting was in this town. I did however, much to your surprise I'm sure , called again yesterday afternoon and actually talked to someone. She told me they had re-vamped their meeting information and it was so nice to be able to talk to someone who actually knew where I was, going and had come from. The meetings however are only at night, which is ok on a normal day ( as I work during the week). The lady I talked to was very nice. This is hard for me because I am a professional, always (at least I thought was in control of my life). I used to drink on a daily basis but never or rarely got drunk, now I have a sick child, ( no excuse for drinking.. although it's always seemed to help calm me), a marriage that is in trouble..( stayed sober for about 2 weeks, once 30days and found that when the fog cleared, he still wasn't there fore me. I wrapped my life around my husband at the expense of my child ( this is my second marriage) this is not my childs father. Guilt big time for that... He has a child of his own who is a real problem. My husband is someone who burries his head in the sand and doesn;t see what's right there in front of his face with his child. The school counselors have even told him the child is a problem. He does ( I think out of spite) everything he can to spoil the crap out of him. No one can stand to be around this child, he is sooo spoiled.
So, I have to live with this too. What a nightmare. I feel so unloved... Not just right now but have for soo long. I asked my H to take me out somewhere for dinner.. " I just took you out the other night".. Well, the other night was last January. I was wearing my winter coat. My husband doesn't remember anything unless it is convenient. But if it's his child that wants something, anything, he gets it.. If he wants to go out to dinner.. well, he gets that too.
My husband says I'm just jealous. well, I think not, I am married to a man who is married to his child. My husband rarely, even asks about how my son is doing with his chemo. I had to take him to Childrens Hospital out of town a while back for chemo, ( not the most recent one which is once a week now),
my husband thought I had just left him, but I hadn't . Had to take care of my child. If he was anywhere in the ballpark of being a communicative husband, I would have told him,, I don't exist... It's all about his child ( who has so many issues he just ignores).. Sorry to ramble on.. Just wanted you to know.. Life is hell for me these days and NO I haven't ignored you. I know I should give AA a try but still feel I'll be chastized (spelling), riticuled and made to look like a total looser.
Tremor
Yes I have noticed your constant bringing up of AA. And yes, I knew you were probably thinking I was ignoring you but I wasn't . I live in a small town and had tried to call AA a while back when I knew I needed help. No-one at that time could even tell me where and when a meeting was in this town. I did however, much to your surprise I'm sure , called again yesterday afternoon and actually talked to someone. She told me they had re-vamped their meeting information and it was so nice to be able to talk to someone who actually knew where I was, going and had come from. The meetings however are only at night, which is ok on a normal day ( as I work during the week). The lady I talked to was very nice. This is hard for me because I am a professional, always (at least I thought was in control of my life). I used to drink on a daily basis but never or rarely got drunk, now I have a sick child, ( no excuse for drinking.. although it's always seemed to help calm me), a marriage that is in trouble..( stayed sober for about 2 weeks, once 30days and found that when the fog cleared, he still wasn't there fore me. I wrapped my life around my husband at the expense of my child ( this is my second marriage) this is not my childs father. Guilt big time for that... He has a child of his own who is a real problem. My husband is someone who burries his head in the sand and doesn;t see what's right there in front of his face with his child. The school counselors have even told him the child is a problem. He does ( I think out of spite) everything he can to spoil the crap out of him. No one can stand to be around this child, he is sooo spoiled.
So, I have to live with this too. What a nightmare. I feel so unloved... Not just right now but have for soo long. I asked my H to take me out somewhere for dinner.. " I just took you out the other night".. Well, the other night was last January. I was wearing my winter coat. My husband doesn't remember anything unless it is convenient. But if it's his child that wants something, anything, he gets it.. If he wants to go out to dinner.. well, he gets that too.
My husband says I'm just jealous. well, I think not, I am married to a man who is married to his child. My husband rarely, even asks about how my son is doing with his chemo. I had to take him to Childrens Hospital out of town a while back for chemo, ( not the most recent one which is once a week now),
my husband thought I had just left him, but I hadn't . Had to take care of my child. If he was anywhere in the ballpark of being a communicative husband, I would have told him,, I don't exist... It's all about his child ( who has so many issues he just ignores).. Sorry to ramble on.. Just wanted you to know.. Life is hell for me these days and NO I haven't ignored you. I know I should give AA a try but still feel I'll be chastized (spelling), riticuled and made to look like a total looser.
Tremor
Hey sweet Tremor.....
Remember me? We started our days of counting together. I am from the painpill forum...
Honey.....I have read your posts.....and I feel for you tremendously.
I don't know if this is the right advice or not......(and 12 stepper is very strong and usually RIGHT on with her words.....so stick with her and listen.....God is sending you an angel.....)
but I must say......SLOW DOWN babe.....slow down. Breath and just do one thing today.....and that is try not to take a drink. Everything you posted is heady stuff...hard stuff, and you cannot do it all in one day....Dismiss it for today. Just today...try not to take a drink...then tomorrow....something new....but today...be gentle and kind to yourself...You are coming to the right place for help...here, and you are reaching out in your community for some more help......be consoled that you are doing the right things...even though everything isn't smooth.....it is okay....hang in there and stick with 12 stepper....
Sending you much love...and peace.
not feeling clever
Remember me? We started our days of counting together. I am from the painpill forum...
Honey.....I have read your posts.....and I feel for you tremendously.
I don't know if this is the right advice or not......(and 12 stepper is very strong and usually RIGHT on with her words.....so stick with her and listen.....God is sending you an angel.....)
but I must say......SLOW DOWN babe.....slow down. Breath and just do one thing today.....and that is try not to take a drink. Everything you posted is heady stuff...hard stuff, and you cannot do it all in one day....Dismiss it for today. Just today...try not to take a drink...then tomorrow....something new....but today...be gentle and kind to yourself...You are coming to the right place for help...here, and you are reaching out in your community for some more help......be consoled that you are doing the right things...even though everything isn't smooth.....it is okay....hang in there and stick with 12 stepper....
Sending you much love...and peace.
not feeling clever
Hello Tremor, I'm taking today off because I have Dr's appts today, but feel free to email me at vwgeri@verizon.net First off, just as 12 Stepper suggested I too, am suggesting you attend a meeting; no one will ridicule, judge you, or chastise you. I was told a long time ago it's not my business what anyone thinks of me...also, there's a seat waiting for you there with people who will love you until you can love yourself...you never have to feel this way again. Like I've posted before there is hope and there is a solution. Be assured you do not have to do this thing alone. Are you in the US? You may be court ordered to attend AA anyways...and I bet you'll find someone there just like yourself...with a similar story! I am bumping up a couple of posts for you.
Tremor:
The disease of addiction knows no boundaries. Whether we are a professional or not does not matter. One thing I know for sure, it always gets worse and it never gets better if we continue using.
My life had become absolutely unmanageable. I had to do things differently. I go to AA because I could not do this deal on my own. I could not think myself sober or think myself into right action. I had to get into action and do the necessary footwork to change my life. You are doing great by reaching out and calling AA and posting on this forum. Maybe it would be a good idea to go to a meeting today.
Rachel
The disease of addiction knows no boundaries. Whether we are a professional or not does not matter. One thing I know for sure, it always gets worse and it never gets better if we continue using.
My life had become absolutely unmanageable. I had to do things differently. I go to AA because I could not do this deal on my own. I could not think myself sober or think myself into right action. I had to get into action and do the necessary footwork to change my life. You are doing great by reaching out and calling AA and posting on this forum. Maybe it would be a good idea to go to a meeting today.
Rachel
Tremor
The people at the meetings are all there because they are drunks too. How or why would they ridicule you. Honey, no one is there because it's a social club. We go to learn how to live life without booze. We're all in the same boat. What you'll find there is the love and support you need and want. I am proud of you for calling again. That's a big step.
And, tremor, if no one has told you today that they love you, I do. Email me any time you need to talk.
lovin ya
The people at the meetings are all there because they are drunks too. How or why would they ridicule you. Honey, no one is there because it's a social club. We go to learn how to live life without booze. We're all in the same boat. What you'll find there is the love and support you need and want. I am proud of you for calling again. That's a big step.
And, tremor, if no one has told you today that they love you, I do. Email me any time you need to talk.
lovin ya
Tremor, I wanted to add that my sister is Rachel, and she is a professional woman too...I work in Corporate America and in the Aerospace industry. Alcoholism does not discrimate whether you live in Beverly Hills here in California or Skid Row down on Mission Street here in downtown Los Angeles...if you are an alcoholic like I am, I can relate to your story and so can many others from all walks of life. Whether you are caucasian, african american, hispanic, native american, whatever, again the disease does not know boundaries. I too wanted to say good job on calling AA...people are available 24/7, pick up the phone before you pick up a drink!
Hi Tremor! I am so sorry you are having a tough time....we've all been there. Just think, it could've been much worse. You could've been driving when the cops came. Then you would've gotten a DUI. That would not have been good at all.
I'm sorry i don't have alot of advice aside from the wonderful people who have already posted, but the first thing i would do is not pick up another drink and start from there. I think it would be a good idea to go to an AA meeting. You would be amazed at the love and support you would find there. Once you have walked through that door for the first time, you will see what we are all talking about, and you'll feel right at home.
Good luck and keep posting;)
Hugs ;)
I'm sorry i don't have alot of advice aside from the wonderful people who have already posted, but the first thing i would do is not pick up another drink and start from there. I think it would be a good idea to go to an AA meeting. You would be amazed at the love and support you would find there. Once you have walked through that door for the first time, you will see what we are all talking about, and you'll feel right at home.
Good luck and keep posting;)
Hugs ;)
Thanks to you all,
Not Feeling Clever, I SOO admire you that you are doing well today. Thanks for the post..I pray that you will have a great day today. Thanks for your encouraging words. Sometimes/ ( well that's what I originally typed here, went back to erase it and deciced well, what the hell.. it's what I feel, no need to erase).. Anyway, Sometimes... well now I guess most if not all of the time, I just feel alone and unloved. Not to have a pitty party here but.. feel SOOO alone. Thanks so much for your post again, I wish sometimes I could die..
I have always been the strong one.. Now when I need someone,( which is very hard to admit..as I have always and I mean ALWAYS been the one to help. I have volunteered my time at local food banks, been fundraiser for the Childrens Mirical Network, ) part of Childrens Hospital.. Great foundation, it really helps children who are in critical life conditions.
VW.. You said "you don't have to do this thing alone" Well, I have always been the "strong" one. I did things alone... Fixed everyone else's problems. Or at least attempted to. Been there for everyone and hardly anyone has been there for me... Because I do NOT show my feelings.,I am headstrong in alot of ways.. yes that is not a great virtue but have found it to be a great asset. I always have tried to stand up for what was right and just. While I was in jail, i looked back and thought how pathetic it was that I was there. I only try to help people and even animal ( my greatest love.. Ceobella, can probably relate.LOL ceobella).
I still need you all. Please do not give up on me as much as I am giving up on myself now. So humiliated, unloved and alone here..Could use someone to actually really talk to who has been following my struggles.
Tremor
Not Feeling Clever, I SOO admire you that you are doing well today. Thanks for the post..I pray that you will have a great day today. Thanks for your encouraging words. Sometimes/ ( well that's what I originally typed here, went back to erase it and deciced well, what the hell.. it's what I feel, no need to erase).. Anyway, Sometimes... well now I guess most if not all of the time, I just feel alone and unloved. Not to have a pitty party here but.. feel SOOO alone. Thanks so much for your post again, I wish sometimes I could die..
I have always been the strong one.. Now when I need someone,( which is very hard to admit..as I have always and I mean ALWAYS been the one to help. I have volunteered my time at local food banks, been fundraiser for the Childrens Mirical Network, ) part of Childrens Hospital.. Great foundation, it really helps children who are in critical life conditions.
VW.. You said "you don't have to do this thing alone" Well, I have always been the "strong" one. I did things alone... Fixed everyone else's problems. Or at least attempted to. Been there for everyone and hardly anyone has been there for me... Because I do NOT show my feelings.,I am headstrong in alot of ways.. yes that is not a great virtue but have found it to be a great asset. I always have tried to stand up for what was right and just. While I was in jail, i looked back and thought how pathetic it was that I was there. I only try to help people and even animal ( my greatest love.. Ceobella, can probably relate.LOL ceobella).
I still need you all. Please do not give up on me as much as I am giving up on myself now. So humiliated, unloved and alone here..Could use someone to actually really talk to who has been following my struggles.
Tremor
Dear Tremor,
We all love and care for you, we are here for you. You're not alone and i, for one, will NEVER give up on you, because i've been there, am still there, and struggle on a daily basis too. We are all in this together!
My email is dakota1@merr.com if you'd like to talk;)
We all love and care for you, we are here for you. You're not alone and i, for one, will NEVER give up on you, because i've been there, am still there, and struggle on a daily basis too. We are all in this together!
My email is dakota1@merr.com if you'd like to talk;)
Tremor...
Awww honey.....listen, I know exactly what you mean about ALWAYS being the one right there for others when they need something. Sweet, as hard as this is to say......I did that for my OWN gratification....because I NEEDED to feel good about myself......I mean, I have done alot to help others in life, but in a clear mind I realize, I did it for myself......and then, when we do for others.....we should just let it go....like a pure act of love, but sometimes I would have these expectations of others......and well, expectations of others is a roadmap for disappointment. EVERY SINGLE TIME......
Right now, maybe you could just say......"I have had an awful weekend, full of messes"....I need to let it go......because all this pain will not serve me.....Tremor, if you can get some help through a meeting today, you will be stronger tomorrow and better able to deal with some of this stuff........and you are loved....you know you are......YOUR CHILD LOVES YOU....and if you can get to a meeting.....you will be instantly assured of the reflection of love and caring you obviously have given so many others....
Sometimes we have a picture in our minds of how life should be.....that we did this thing for the good of humanity and therefore this should happen. I believe we do get repaid in life for the love we show the world.......I just think it is rarely in the form we picture in our minds......Try sweetie to get up and go to a meeting....let someone hold your hand today......just let them in and thank God you are strong enough to do that, because I know it isn't easy. I know about building the wall around ourselves because we fear the pain that closeness can bring.....but hell, we are in pain anyway, aren't we.....?
I am praying for you Tremor.....
One step, one day.....God Bless You.
not feeling clever
Awww honey.....listen, I know exactly what you mean about ALWAYS being the one right there for others when they need something. Sweet, as hard as this is to say......I did that for my OWN gratification....because I NEEDED to feel good about myself......I mean, I have done alot to help others in life, but in a clear mind I realize, I did it for myself......and then, when we do for others.....we should just let it go....like a pure act of love, but sometimes I would have these expectations of others......and well, expectations of others is a roadmap for disappointment. EVERY SINGLE TIME......
Right now, maybe you could just say......"I have had an awful weekend, full of messes"....I need to let it go......because all this pain will not serve me.....Tremor, if you can get some help through a meeting today, you will be stronger tomorrow and better able to deal with some of this stuff........and you are loved....you know you are......YOUR CHILD LOVES YOU....and if you can get to a meeting.....you will be instantly assured of the reflection of love and caring you obviously have given so many others....
Sometimes we have a picture in our minds of how life should be.....that we did this thing for the good of humanity and therefore this should happen. I believe we do get repaid in life for the love we show the world.......I just think it is rarely in the form we picture in our minds......Try sweetie to get up and go to a meeting....let someone hold your hand today......just let them in and thank God you are strong enough to do that, because I know it isn't easy. I know about building the wall around ourselves because we fear the pain that closeness can bring.....but hell, we are in pain anyway, aren't we.....?
I am praying for you Tremor.....
One step, one day.....God Bless You.
not feeling clever
Tremor, again, I want to point out you are not unique (please note not meant to be harsh here)...we all have felt and come from where you are today...maybe to not the same to degree, but as alcoholics I'm sure most of us will agree that we are over-achievers, well a vast majority of us are...my Sponsor has cautioned me that the one thing that will lead me back to the bottle is my perfectionism...she said life is not perfect and I'm trying to put a square peg in a round hole and it just doesn't work that way. I volunteered too while out there, I was a Girl Scout Leader, active in the PTA, on committees at work; I felt so guilty about my alcoholism that I tried to overcompensate in so many other areas to make it look like I was the "good" girl, now I am not suggesting that's what you are doing, I'm just speaking for myself. If you would like to email me, please feel free to do so. Again, please know that if you are willing to do things differently than you have before you will never have to do this thing alone, never. Maybe, it's time to surrender and throw in the towel...right now you don't need to be strong...allow yourself that...let your feelings flow...again, we will love you until you can love yourself. Also, the wanting to die thing, been there, done that many a time. I posted my email address above...I don't feel comfortable posting my phone # in this forum. The meaning of insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Remember nothing changes if nothing changes.
Dear Tremor, I really can't add anything more, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm here for you as well, and your son and you are in my prayers.
Take care hun,
Big Hugs
lovedove
Take care hun,
Big Hugs
lovedove
Tremor - you had one hell of a weekend, and I can see your need to talk. If you want to talk, e-mail me a chefjake27@yahoo.com. We'll go from there. I wish you the best. Prayer works. I know first hand.
LL
LL
Tremor, I'm so sorry you had a bad weekend, and that things are so rough and stressful for you right now. I do understand, I've been struggling myself, this is my major danger zone timewise. Funny you mentioned wanting to help animals (and mentioned my name), maybe the only thing that kept me from drinking this weekend was my animals, and knowing that if I got drunk I wouldn't end up playing with them. I also don't feel entirely comofrtable posting my phone # or even email on here (I will tell you why sometime, same reason AA is a tough one for me), but if we can find a way I would be more than willing to talk to you. We can all use someone to talk to, right? Honey I hope you will pick yourself up and realize that each day is a new day, and a chance to start over... you have been telling me that for awhile now. Keep posting & getting all the bad stuff out... I will keep checking in to see if you've posted. Love and hugs sweetie...
P.S. VW - would it be all right if I sent you an email? I have a dilemma I think you might be able to help me with due to some of your experience but don't want to post it here as it has to do with someone very close to me. Thank you...
P.S. VW - would it be all right if I sent you an email? I have a dilemma I think you might be able to help me with due to some of your experience but don't want to post it here as it has to do with someone very close to me. Thank you...
Ciaobella, Feel free to email today, I'm off work...will be in and out but will be glad to chat...all of you people mean a lot to me, even though I do not know you personally, however we all share a common bond, no one can help an alcoholic like another alcoholic in my opinion...no one knows the depths of despair this disease takes us to...no one...but an alcoholic themself.
Tremor
wow yo remind me so much of myself in the last few years. I'm sorry you had such an experience but maybe just maybe that experience will be enough for you to get the help you need.
boy I SO related to your post about your hubby and all the difficulties - that sounded like me too. Well I've had a harsh awakening these last few weeks. Guess what? It's not about my husband and his supposed myriad faults - its about ME.
At this point his fault are completely irrelevant. I've got to look at MY faults, and do what I can to fix ME.
I'm realising that drunks (like me) are great at noticing all the faults in other people, we're experts at it. It stops us from having to deal with ourselves. Its a pretty humbling and humiliating thing to realise I'll tell you. And of course I still find myself doing that all the time. But now I'm learning to catch myself up, stop and turn it back on myself.
Oh Tremor just surrender your will to your higher power, surrender this problem, let go of the shovel, stop digging that hole for yourself and start building a ladder instead.
I totally feel your pain, I sincerely hope this can be the end of your old life and the beginning of your new.
take care and keep positing.
Love Idgie
edited to say: my email is: idgie2529@yahoo.com
CB if its alright with you I can pass your email on to Tremor? If yes, please post. Then tremor can email me and I'll forward your email to her? If not OK just let me know that also.
cheers
I.
wow yo remind me so much of myself in the last few years. I'm sorry you had such an experience but maybe just maybe that experience will be enough for you to get the help you need.
boy I SO related to your post about your hubby and all the difficulties - that sounded like me too. Well I've had a harsh awakening these last few weeks. Guess what? It's not about my husband and his supposed myriad faults - its about ME.
At this point his fault are completely irrelevant. I've got to look at MY faults, and do what I can to fix ME.
I'm realising that drunks (like me) are great at noticing all the faults in other people, we're experts at it. It stops us from having to deal with ourselves. Its a pretty humbling and humiliating thing to realise I'll tell you. And of course I still find myself doing that all the time. But now I'm learning to catch myself up, stop and turn it back on myself.
Oh Tremor just surrender your will to your higher power, surrender this problem, let go of the shovel, stop digging that hole for yourself and start building a ladder instead.
I totally feel your pain, I sincerely hope this can be the end of your old life and the beginning of your new.
take care and keep positing.
Love Idgie
edited to say: my email is: idgie2529@yahoo.com
CB if its alright with you I can pass your email on to Tremor? If yes, please post. Then tremor can email me and I'll forward your email to her? If not OK just let me know that also.
cheers
I.
Tremor,
Awww sweetie...I am so sorry about your bulls*** weekend. It's crazy how we are so tunnel visioned when we are drunk huh? I would have stomped up to that door and probably said probably the same things you did. Probably worse. I was a mean drunk towards the end. All of my self hatred was projected to those I loved and people I had never even met. All of the advice you have been given sounds right on target. I for one didn't go the AA route so I can't give advice about that. It really sounds like those who have suggested it are on to something. It has worked for lots of people. If you want to talk or just vent..e-mail me at valarie@saundersconstruction.net....type tremor in the subject line so I'll know it's you. I can tell you what has worked for me without AA. Not that it is the correct way but it worked for me. Take care of yourself! If you don't who will care for your son? Don't worry this is just a bump in the road. You will make it through this! {{{{{{{{{Tremor}}}}}}}}}}
Your friend,
Valarie
Awww sweetie...I am so sorry about your bulls*** weekend. It's crazy how we are so tunnel visioned when we are drunk huh? I would have stomped up to that door and probably said probably the same things you did. Probably worse. I was a mean drunk towards the end. All of my self hatred was projected to those I loved and people I had never even met. All of the advice you have been given sounds right on target. I for one didn't go the AA route so I can't give advice about that. It really sounds like those who have suggested it are on to something. It has worked for lots of people. If you want to talk or just vent..e-mail me at valarie@saundersconstruction.net....type tremor in the subject line so I'll know it's you. I can tell you what has worked for me without AA. Not that it is the correct way but it worked for me. Take care of yourself! If you don't who will care for your son? Don't worry this is just a bump in the road. You will make it through this! {{{{{{{{{Tremor}}}}}}}}}}
Your friend,
Valarie
Idgie, totally fine to give Tremor my email addy... thanks for offering. That was a great post, too. Hope you're doing well tonight... I've been meaning to email you as well, been thinking about you girl.
Hey Valarie, good to see you here...
Tremor, I hope you're doing OK, please stay in touch. All of us here know how you feel, and VW is right, no one can help an alcoholic better than another alcoholic, I've learned that on these boards - all the people here (including you), whom I don't really "know" have helped and encouraged me more than my closest friends would be able, because they've dealt with the same things. So please stay in touch and keep posting... thinking of you sweetie...
Hey Valarie, good to see you here...
Tremor, I hope you're doing OK, please stay in touch. All of us here know how you feel, and VW is right, no one can help an alcoholic better than another alcoholic, I've learned that on these boards - all the people here (including you), whom I don't really "know" have helped and encouraged me more than my closest friends would be able, because they've dealt with the same things. So please stay in touch and keep posting... thinking of you sweetie...
