hey there just a question that i already am pretty sure i know the answer to but just want to know how bad it is. my boyfriend has been smoking pot for about 5 years now (hes 18).....when we met he told me he dosent smoke as much now as he used to however he still smokes A HELL of al lot. he smokes every day (at least 6+ joints and probably a few bongs) and when we are out with friends or at our local bar its a heck of alot more. he asked me last night if i thought he had a problem with it and i told him that if he didnt think he could stop, and indeed couldnt stop, then yes he had a problem with it. he then said that he does think he has a problem but dosent particularly want to stop. we have only been seeing each other 5 weeks yet we r very close but i still dont think its my place to tell him what to do. i wanted to know just how excessive u all think his use is and from my point of view is there anything i could do at this point to make him understand just how bad his habit is (by the way he spends ALOT of his money on the stuff and quite a bit of time making sure he gets it). any help appreciated x
Hi
Your boyfriend is addicted to pot. Pot is addictive and he will have a very difficult time to stop. I don't know if you can help him in any way but I would advise you not to get too attached to him and involved. You have been going out with him for 5 weeks only. It is a very short time and in my own opinion you should break up this relationship before it is too late.
(mom of a teenager who could not stop smoking pot on his own)
Your boyfriend is addicted to pot. Pot is addictive and he will have a very difficult time to stop. I don't know if you can help him in any way but I would advise you not to get too attached to him and involved. You have been going out with him for 5 weeks only. It is a very short time and in my own opinion you should break up this relationship before it is too late.
(mom of a teenager who could not stop smoking pot on his own)
6+ joints a day plus bong hits is a lot of marijuana use on a daily basis. If he says he doesn't smoke as much now as he did before then I can't even begin to imagine what he was doing before. From what I am reading he does have a problem but it sounds like he doesn't want to quit. If he doesn't think he has a problem look at it this way. I equate say 1 joint with like a 6 pack. If he's smoking 6+ joints a day to me that would be like 36 beers a day. If someone told you they drank 36 beers in a day (every day), wouldn't you think they had a problem? I agree with Barb, I would not get too attached to this individual. You will just be dragged into his mess and stuck caring for someone who obviously doesn't care about himself if he chooses to do this. There is nothing worse. Good luck in whatever you decide.
Move on. You deserve better. I suspect you already know the answer.
When I first met my husband.....two weeks into the relationship I clued in...... I told him I wanted to break up because he was a drug addict. He was highly offended by that remark and denied it. We argued a bit. I said, "ok" and we have been together seventeen years. I didn't have enough self-esteem, instead I compromised and told myself it could be worse.....it could be booze. I believed in the lie that he would grow out of it. I went against everything I knew and felt deep down. Don't make the same mistake.
There are men and then there are boys.
When I first met my husband.....two weeks into the relationship I clued in...... I told him I wanted to break up because he was a drug addict. He was highly offended by that remark and denied it. We argued a bit. I said, "ok" and we have been together seventeen years. I didn't have enough self-esteem, instead I compromised and told myself it could be worse.....it could be booze. I believed in the lie that he would grow out of it. I went against everything I knew and felt deep down. Don't make the same mistake.
There are men and then there are boys.
thanx for ur replys......u have made me think about this loads and it just so happens that ive had another conversation with him about this on the phone since my last post....the interesting thing is that i live in northern ireland and in the town i live in there is ALOT of sectarian trouble going on at the minute meaning that there is a huge police presence....as a result he has been unable to get any smoke for the past two days now and it is unlikley that any will be available at least over the next few more days as the dealers arent even risking dealing coz trust me if there was some available he would already have it by now. it is interesting to see how he handles the next few days because since i have been with him he has smoked every day like i already said. (im 21 by the way) and ave delt with alot of addiction problems with my own mother which at the present time involves dihydrocodiene and alcohol and thats y i know already that hes in way too deep for me to do anything about it, but he is very insightful and a hell of alot more mature than me despite the age difference which is why im hoping that a few days of being off the smoke and seeing that he can life his life just the same without it might change his outlook a wee bit....ill keep in touch in the meantime if its ok.....thanks again x
"but he is very insightful and a hell of alot more mature than me despite the age difference which is why im hoping that a few days of being off the smoke and seeing that he can life his life just the same without it might change his outlook a wee bit"
I am sorry to destroy your optimism but people can stop for a few days and go back to the same use as before in no time. From what you say, your boyfriend has not shown any desire to stop.
You have delt with addiction in your family and you know that it is very difficult to stop once you are addicted to a substance.
No matter how smart, mature your BF is, as Wonderwoman says, you deserve better. Run ... It seems very cruel but living with or loving someone who is addicted is a source of sorrow; every parent, BF. GF, husband, wife will tell you this. Read posts on the family/partners board, it might help you.
I am sorry to destroy your optimism but people can stop for a few days and go back to the same use as before in no time. From what you say, your boyfriend has not shown any desire to stop.
You have delt with addiction in your family and you know that it is very difficult to stop once you are addicted to a substance.
No matter how smart, mature your BF is, as Wonderwoman says, you deserve better. Run ... It seems very cruel but living with or loving someone who is addicted is a source of sorrow; every parent, BF. GF, husband, wife will tell you this. Read posts on the family/partners board, it might help you.
