How Can I Get Her To See Leaving Kills Me

Im 34 I have the most amazing girl in the world but she literally thinks I just used her so she had me evicted and took everything I own shes loves me so much she used what i told her to do to help as ammo to distance herself from me. IDK what to do I need rehab but no insurance for good rehab i know it is the only option I have but i cant afford it also we just got custody ofd the kids and i feel like shes done all this to take away and undo everything i told her I love her for. If i was a real man i would have told her look i need this we need to figure away for me to get help to bad if i was a real man well we wouldnt be having this conversation... Basically the fightinmg stress and being broke along with she refused to give me what I wanted and thought I needed to quit thats her love I just wanted a simple ansewer you be you i be me please tell me I see signs shes going to be there if i can do it but Im scared if not ill die
Right. Your an addict. ..like me...get a grip...detox...go to an AA or a NA meeting...they're free..and you can find help there....she can't fix you...she shouldn't be trying to...and you fcking know better. ..what...you want her to support your habit..or put her and your kids through hell watching you rattle...fix...and Jones ? You want her to pay for your rehab ? Lol...my spouse of 25 years says...got yourself another habit ?...there's the door...take care of it ...I recommend you do the same...and stop wanting her to do it for you...

Ps...you won't die without her...but sure as hell might with her...just saying
Dude...seriously ? Your header...HOW CAN I GET HER TO SEE LEAVING KILLS ME. Are you really going to emotionally blackmail the girl you say you LOVE? YOU get your s*** together. YOU get better. YOU do whatever it takes to quit using...maybe a BAD rehab...AA, NA, and quit using HER and lack of insurance as an EXCUSE to as WHY you are now apparently gonna die...how did you make it this far? If you want sobriety AND the girl (maybe with it since she's apparently seen through yr bulls***) then DO IT.
iso - stop being a baby. she's not your mama bear. (sorry - is that too harsh?)

you have two choices - ONLY TWO. Stay Clean or Stay Dirty.
If you are clean there is a 50/50 chance your partner will come back to you.
If you are dirty, she will NOT come back to you.

You can spend the next 30 years, one year at a time, make a good life for your family, the people you love - OR spend every day looking for a fix. probably homeless and alone.

It isnt easy, it is slow going, and it is possible. get into all support groups you can. and Keep Doing It.... no matter how bleak it looks. you need a lot of time - stay clean for a year, and then see how different life looks. if one action does not work, try another. therapy, AA, NA, exercise, do it all. find a passion in work or hobby. READ book about recovery, Read on line. Keep reading, keep doing.

do not expect your mama bear to do this for you. by kicking you out, she won her battle over drugs. now it is up to you to win yours.

custody of the kids - sounds like she need to evict you so she would not loose the kids.
It is plain and simple. using drugs comes with a high price tag. if you keep it up there will be a restraining order.