I am new on this site, it seems there are alot of people out there in the same boat as me. I don't think I am an alcoholic, but everytime I try to stop I can't. I enjoy the feeling of inebriation, but not the reprucussions, the way I act after. I hate the morning after, every morning where I try to think how stupid I acted lasted night, did I feed the kids? You know, all the stuff you try to remember but can't.....I am the mother of three, and feel so overwhelmed with everything I use this as an escape, the only thing is I can finish a bottle of wine, a bottle of vodka in 2 days, where my tolerance in unbelievable now. I think my liver is shot, but I am not sure since I refuse to go to the doctor, I know he will judge me. I am a good person with a bad habit. I have been progressively getting worse, 8 years on the go........ Any thoughts, anybody?
Newbie, no one can tell you whether or not you are an alcoholic. I will suggest that your note reflects a number of tell-tell warning signs of alcoholism: remorse for ones behavior, difficulty remembering the events that occurred while drinking, increased tolerance to alcohol, difficulty in keeping promises to oneself to cut back or quit and potentially, alcohol related health problems.
One way to gather information as to whether or not you are an alcoholic is to go to a meeting of AA, and when they ask if there are any guests or visitors, raise your hand and state that you are not sure whether you are an alcoholic or whether you belong in AA. Then sit back and listen. This is exactly as I did it many years ago (except I added that I was not interested in getting religion) and I was amazed at what I heard. I concluded that the people in that room who talked knew a lot more about me than just about anybody else did, and I had never met any of them before! Moreover, it was amazing to me that many of them appeared to be contented, fun loving people who really enjoyed their lives.
I decided to stick around and that was the turning point in my life. You have nothing to lose by giving a meeting a try, and you just may find that the folks there have something to offer. Good luck.
August , a recovering alcoholic sober since 2/27/90
One way to gather information as to whether or not you are an alcoholic is to go to a meeting of AA, and when they ask if there are any guests or visitors, raise your hand and state that you are not sure whether you are an alcoholic or whether you belong in AA. Then sit back and listen. This is exactly as I did it many years ago (except I added that I was not interested in getting religion) and I was amazed at what I heard. I concluded that the people in that room who talked knew a lot more about me than just about anybody else did, and I had never met any of them before! Moreover, it was amazing to me that many of them appeared to be contented, fun loving people who really enjoyed their lives.
I decided to stick around and that was the turning point in my life. You have nothing to lose by giving a meeting a try, and you just may find that the folks there have something to offer. Good luck.
August , a recovering alcoholic sober since 2/27/90
Thanks August for replying to my question, I do have a drinking problem, I wouldn't be visiting sites like these looking for help, but I think this site is different in the respect that like AA people can talk to one another about their problems, and the difference of actually sitting in a meeting your identity is protected, you don't have to be face to face, and also religion doesn't have to play a role. Again, I am new to this site but tonight as I sit here and type for the first time in a while, I am sober. Thanks to everybody for opening up and sharing their struggles, I am going to continue to take a day at a time and want everybody out there to know you can't change the past but only YOU have control of your future. It's up to you, if you want to stop this madness only YOU can do it, nobody can do it for you.
Newbie, glad you are sober this evening. Taking it one day at a time is a good idea. I tend to come off preachy sometimes so take what you need and leave the rest.
I want to put in a plug for going to meetings. The net is fine, but for the very reasons you mentioned, it will be of little help if (and by "if" I mean "when") you hit a crisis point in your efforts to stop. At that point, it will take everything you can muster, and then some, to stay on the wagon. Believe me, I have been there. The face to face aspect of AA, hearing the suggestions for a full hour, committing to getting up and going there, meeting people and having that sense of accountability, and lest I omit it, working the steps with a sponsor , all come into play as we learn how to live sober.
It is easy enough to stay sober when things are going along smoothly but life throws curve balls from time to time. One example is that I got diagnosed with cancer a year ago. The first thing I got when I started my treatments was an unlimited supply of pain pills. As I endured a year of treatments, it would have been easy to over use those pills to cope with the fear of the cancer, the fear of loss of life, the fear of destruction of my career, as well as the isolation that comes with being sick on a nearly continuous basis. The people whom I worked with in meetings helped give me support and when the time came, they were there to help me let go of the pills (they can become a safety cushion if you let them). The point of all of this is that life gets tough sometimes, and the coping skills learned by a long term commitment to sober living are what have always gotten me through the crisis points and allowed me to thrive in my chosen endeavors.
As an aside, I was recently pronounced in remission so it is up to me to go out and start living a decent, good life again. I just do not think I would have been able to handle this last year as easily as I did without the 12 Step work under my belt.
Newbie, life often consists of an easy way to do things and a harder, albeit better way. The choice is yours as to how you want to proceed. If I can be of help, let me know.
August
I want to put in a plug for going to meetings. The net is fine, but for the very reasons you mentioned, it will be of little help if (and by "if" I mean "when") you hit a crisis point in your efforts to stop. At that point, it will take everything you can muster, and then some, to stay on the wagon. Believe me, I have been there. The face to face aspect of AA, hearing the suggestions for a full hour, committing to getting up and going there, meeting people and having that sense of accountability, and lest I omit it, working the steps with a sponsor , all come into play as we learn how to live sober.
It is easy enough to stay sober when things are going along smoothly but life throws curve balls from time to time. One example is that I got diagnosed with cancer a year ago. The first thing I got when I started my treatments was an unlimited supply of pain pills. As I endured a year of treatments, it would have been easy to over use those pills to cope with the fear of the cancer, the fear of loss of life, the fear of destruction of my career, as well as the isolation that comes with being sick on a nearly continuous basis. The people whom I worked with in meetings helped give me support and when the time came, they were there to help me let go of the pills (they can become a safety cushion if you let them). The point of all of this is that life gets tough sometimes, and the coping skills learned by a long term commitment to sober living are what have always gotten me through the crisis points and allowed me to thrive in my chosen endeavors.
As an aside, I was recently pronounced in remission so it is up to me to go out and start living a decent, good life again. I just do not think I would have been able to handle this last year as easily as I did without the 12 Step work under my belt.
Newbie, life often consists of an easy way to do things and a harder, albeit better way. The choice is yours as to how you want to proceed. If I can be of help, let me know.
August
Thanks for reaching out August, I am just not the type of person who can sit in a AA meeting, I could never take the chance of running into someone I know, the chance is there, one I can't take.........but I find this type of forum DOES help, I think everyone has their own different types of understandings and ways to deal with things.
I am so angry, god, I am drunk once again, didn't take long, I lasted one frikkin day...............
Newbie, sorry that you did not make it longer. You are locked in a battle with a deadly enemy, alcohol. Forgive me, I am preachy but I am not good a soothing words of comfort in times of relapse. Instead, I urge you to look at what you are dealing with and ask yourself just how far you are willing to go to be freed of the obsesssion to drink. Are you willing to go to any length to get sober, or do you prefer to only do those things that are convenient or within your comfort zone? there is a saying in AA: "Half measures avail us nothing."
Your best thinking got you to where you are at right now. It might be time to get some fresh input as to how to get sober. In my case, I refused to resign myself to meetings until I was so ground down that I had nowhere else to turn. Believe me, I had all the reasons that you offerred me plus dozens more. The rooms of AA were the last stop for me on an express train straight to hell. By the time I got to the point that I was willing to give it a try, I had run out of options, and in the process, I lost valuable time and opportunities that can never be regained. I hope that you can find your way in before you have to start losing all the good things in your life--alcohol has a way of stealing you blind in that way.
Good luck. Sorry if I am being harsh--I don't mean to be--I know from painful personal experience that no one can be tougher with you right now than you are with yourself, but I would rather offer stern guidance than coddle you to an early grave.
Let me know how you are doing.
August
Your best thinking got you to where you are at right now. It might be time to get some fresh input as to how to get sober. In my case, I refused to resign myself to meetings until I was so ground down that I had nowhere else to turn. Believe me, I had all the reasons that you offerred me plus dozens more. The rooms of AA were the last stop for me on an express train straight to hell. By the time I got to the point that I was willing to give it a try, I had run out of options, and in the process, I lost valuable time and opportunities that can never be regained. I hope that you can find your way in before you have to start losing all the good things in your life--alcohol has a way of stealing you blind in that way.
Good luck. Sorry if I am being harsh--I don't mean to be--I know from painful personal experience that no one can be tougher with you right now than you are with yourself, but I would rather offer stern guidance than coddle you to an early grave.
Let me know how you are doing.
August
Well, August, I forgot to mention in my last few responses that I am glad you are doing well and your cancer is in remission. You are an extremely brave person, in my opinion to go through so much and not use those things as an excuse to start drinking again. I wish I had the strength like you do. As you can tell, I guess I am selfish in my thinking and completely made this whole conversation about me. I am selfish also, not to consider the impact I have on people around me when I drink. Last night, I drank and then went for a walk with my family. I slipped down the stairs and am now sitting here with a torn ligament. I also started arguing with my husband in front of the kids. A family moment that was supposed to be quality time ruined again. August, I can't tell you how down I feel about myself, I had no intention to drink last night but did anyways.
Any strength that you might see in my notes is also available to you. All you have to do is show up, ask for help and follow the suggestions offerred. It is by far the greatest gift you can offer your spouse and children, but mostly it is the greatest gift you can offer yourself.
August
August
margaretfindlay@hotmail.com
Newbie,
I hope you are having some success with your struggle. If only you could find a substitute for alcohol. I wish i could too !!
Does your husband have any idea if so what is his opinion ?
I find the worst thing is if you have a vulnerable child they mimic your behaviour.
Would like to hear from you
Magsmargaretfindlay@hotmail.com
Newbie,
I hope you are having some success with your struggle. If only you could find a substitute for alcohol. I wish i could too !!
Does your husband have any idea if so what is his opinion ?
I find the worst thing is if you have a vulnerable child they mimic your behaviour.
Would like to hear from you
Magsmargaretfindlay@hotmail.com
Hi Mags, how are you? My struggle with alcohol is ongoing, and I have my ups and downs. My husband is very supportive of me but he does not know what more he can do besides forcefully make me stop. He has yelled at me, talked to me, done everything he can, it's something I know that noone else can do for me but me. I went to the doctor today and told him of my problem. This is the first time I have actually sought outside help besides this forum. I think it is a matter of time before I do quit, I just need the courage to ask for the help I know I need. I am leaving the country today, and will not be back for several days, and I will be exposed to alcohol there since my relatives do not know of my problem. All I hope is I have the strength to either stay in a controlled state without going overboard or even more wonderful and be able to abstain entirely. I am not sure if you are still fighting the battle yourself, but I wish you luck and again thank you for just wanting to chat. I will check back when I get back from my vacation and maybe will be able to talk then. Take care of yourself. Newbie 71.
Topamax is a medication that can cut your desire to drink.(see addiction medication on top tool bar)
Good luck,
Lucia
Good luck,
Lucia
