Hello all, this is my first post on the Alcohol cat. but I've been reading for several months. I'm entering my 4th year of sobriety and have a problem that I am unsure as to the correct path. Last night I was contacted by a fellow who I was temporary sponser to about 7 or 8 months ago. He called from the local detox facility and related to me his trials and tribulations lost his job, lost his girl, lost his home, etc. He also finally agreed that he was powerless over alcohol and admitted himself to the detox center. He asked if I would rent him a room ( I am married and live in a small 2 bedroom hse). I know that the Big Book references helping our fellow drunks out but I do not want to enable someone that isn't absolutely done. He called me today and asked if I would bring him some Marlboros to the treatment center (I said yes and my wife bought him a pack). I didn't want to lecture him too much but I quit smoking 1 month before my 1 year birthday and I will not buy my wife cigarettes (shes trying to quit). Hopefully God's will and not mine will be done
Hi
I'd take him some smokes but I think I'd set him up in a halfway house before I'd bring him home. Maybe a night or two but I'd keep it very short. Things aren't like they were when Bill and Dr Bob were around. There are halfway houses everywhere these days. But I'm a woman and may look at it differently than men do. Good luck with your decision.
I'd take him some smokes but I think I'd set him up in a halfway house before I'd bring him home. Maybe a night or two but I'd keep it very short. Things aren't like they were when Bill and Dr Bob were around. There are halfway houses everywhere these days. But I'm a woman and may look at it differently than men do. Good luck with your decision.
I agree with 12 Stepper on this one, it's not like when Bill W & Dr Bob were carrying the message back in the day...there are plenty of sober living homes around here where I live, in fact, I helped my Sponsee get settled into one just down the road from me...one or two nights like 12 S suggested at your home and only if your wife is comfortable with that...some of the facilities are provided at little cost for those who have lost everything.
Many thanks to 12
Stepper and VW girl, I'm going to the 9am detox meeting tommorrow morning and meet with my young friend and with your suggestions I'll try to help with arrangements for a sober living facility or half-way house. This is my second time in AA in the last 10 years and by doing what I'm supposed to I know I'll have at least another 24 hours. My sponser taught me the basics don't drink go to meetings, pray, work the steps and work with other alcoholics.
Stepper and VW girl, I'm going to the 9am detox meeting tommorrow morning and meet with my young friend and with your suggestions I'll try to help with arrangements for a sober living facility or half-way house. This is my second time in AA in the last 10 years and by doing what I'm supposed to I know I'll have at least another 24 hours. My sponser taught me the basics don't drink go to meetings, pray, work the steps and work with other alcoholics.
Yep, that's exactly the formula, don't drink, go to meetings, work with other alcoholics, get into action (Step work) and have a conscious contact with my Higher Power (prayer)...we're doing it one day at a time, thanks for breaking it down for me. Easy does it!
I gotta agree with the ladies on this one .
My sponsor would say that you have to do what is best and safe for YOU FIRST.
Welcome to the board, we are glad you are here :)
Carolyn
My sponsor would say that you have to do what is best and safe for YOU FIRST.
Welcome to the board, we are glad you are here :)
Carolyn
Hey Wildonetwo welcome to the board and ditto to what VW and 12stepper said trust what your instinct is saying on this one and not your gratitude for AA, if your sponsee doesn't like it then you made the right decision and if he goes to a half way house then no problem.
Light and love Zac
Light and love Zac
Thanks again for the offers of support and the most sensible answer. I went to that 9:45 am detox AA meeting and met with "Mike". He was very grateful for the pack of smokes and I was rewarded with a wonderful meeting for me that brought back memories of my own 10 day detox. There was a bunch of pained and drained folks with an almost equal number of AA's to provide support and fellowship. I truly love this program because it saved my life.
WO2, I had a day almost just like yours...went to a meeting with my Sponsee (she got her 30 day chip), took her to lunch, then read the 12 X 12 & BB with her, gave assignments to her and sent her on her way...just got back from a walk by the beach and am feeling very grateful too, just like you AA saved my life.
