Just had it kept green for me. I think it's Jack says that in a way that hits home for me. Someone here does. Pretty sure it's our Jack.
Anyway, it came to my mind reading Lali's post something I did when I was using. We all know the depths of the horrendous things we do using, and this one thing just came to my mind because she mentioned her husband took the kids Play-Station and their games.
Unfortunately my child was sick, and tired of having her money stolen by her own mother. She's always been a saver, and responsible even very young in regards to money like gifts for holidays she's given, and all. Well, that or she's just plain cheap, and knew anything she wanted my parents would get it for her or other relatives. LOL So yeah let's say thrifty too. LOL
Someone purchased her this cute little gadget. It's a box where kids can hide things like say a diary or whatever. Electronic. It is voice activated, and would only open to the voice, and phrase of the owner. Well, I made it my mission to listen when she opened it to the phrase. Mind you it was plastic, and on a really bad day I'd have probably just got a screw driver, and pried it open or jumped on it, and broke it, but ya know us sneaky addicts we want to act like
"Huh? What? Money out of a what? Don't know what you're talking about"
Thus keeping it intact was important.
Ready for this? The secret code was "GIRLS RULE". Cute little phrase of which a little girl would think cool. "GIRLS RULE". One morning she left for school, and I'm right in her room looking for this box. BINGO. I find it. I'm getting dope sick, and I need that money. So here's a full grown adult talking into a box going "GIRLS RULE", and I'm whispering it so nobody else home can hear me.
The box ain't opening. It's talking to me saying "INVALID ENTRY TRY AGAIN"
Now this is a toy. I'm freaking out now. I keep changing my voice going "GIRLS RULE". I went from a high pitched voice to a reall low barritone. I must have said this "GIRLS RULE" twenty times. On, and on. Here I am sitting amongst dollies, and stuffed animals, and doing this crazy, evil, rotten thing.
Today my friend, and I almost cry because of guilt, but then we'll laugh, and she'll say "I mean how bad were we the time you kept trying to get that voice activated bank open?" I'm like "Not as bad as the time we took your son's cute little mini-fridge he kept in his room cause it was cool". Oh yeah. It was so heavy, and we just picked it up, and went out the door, and put it in the trunk, and couldn't close the trunk. Who cared? We actually drove, and drove to places to see if anyone would give us ten bucks for a $200 little fridge.
Sorry I always write a novel, but it's important we do not ever forget how bad it was on the heroin, and the length we went to for money or the insanity of stealing from one's own child. Today I can say "GIRLS RULE" for sure, and I rule, and I'm cool. LOL BTW I finally took the thing with me, and in my friends car I pryed that thing open with a butter knife. What it did to my child I don't ever want to have her go through EVER AGAIN.
Bryn hello
I dont know if we have spoken before i am usually on the coke board.
I have read both of your post one serious one and one o/t.
I trhink you have a great sence of humour when you explain things.
Emily
I dont know if we have spoken before i am usually on the coke board.
I have read both of your post one serious one and one o/t.
I trhink you have a great sence of humour when you explain things.
Emily
Bryn, I know what you mean. I somtimes rember when i would wake up sick in the morning and i had to be at school and after school all day i would have to be at work so i would not go to school untill i got somthing and usally i could count on it out of my brother's room.
He was dealing oxycotin's and he would keep them in his room and he would seep on the couch.
It wouls be so early in the morning that he would be sleeping so i went in his room, and usualy i would find something.
I knew that he knew i was stealing from him cause every day they would be hidden in a diffrent spot.
I think anybody else would give up but not me!! No matter where he put them i would find them. The craziest spots too! But i thought like him ya know?
If he didn't have any i would get in my car like i was going to school but i wouldnt go. I would track down my boyfriend and make him give me some.
This one time he was staying at this motel so i had a key and i went in and he wouldn't wake up so i took my stuff and we ended up fighting cause he wouldn't wake up for 2 min before i had to leave so i slamed the door and i hit the window to the room and it shattered all over the sidewalk so i juped in my car and left next thing you know he's calling my cell phone freaking out.
I can laugh about this stuff today cause i didn't realize how out of control i was.
Somtime i would be so high on the way to school i would have to slap my face! And it would only be 9 am! and i'm allready noding out i had absolutly no self control.if i had it i couldnt stop using it.
I couldnt imagine the amount of money in drugs i stole from my brother. One time i found somthing like 300 oc 80's and i took 30 of them at one time. Thats alot of money!!!
The most important thing to rember is that we are NOT the people we were when we were using because the power of herion was controling us and that is one powerfull drug!
He was dealing oxycotin's and he would keep them in his room and he would seep on the couch.
It wouls be so early in the morning that he would be sleeping so i went in his room, and usualy i would find something.
I knew that he knew i was stealing from him cause every day they would be hidden in a diffrent spot.
I think anybody else would give up but not me!! No matter where he put them i would find them. The craziest spots too! But i thought like him ya know?
If he didn't have any i would get in my car like i was going to school but i wouldnt go. I would track down my boyfriend and make him give me some.
This one time he was staying at this motel so i had a key and i went in and he wouldn't wake up so i took my stuff and we ended up fighting cause he wouldn't wake up for 2 min before i had to leave so i slamed the door and i hit the window to the room and it shattered all over the sidewalk so i juped in my car and left next thing you know he's calling my cell phone freaking out.
I can laugh about this stuff today cause i didn't realize how out of control i was.
Somtime i would be so high on the way to school i would have to slap my face! And it would only be 9 am! and i'm allready noding out i had absolutly no self control.if i had it i couldnt stop using it.
I couldnt imagine the amount of money in drugs i stole from my brother. One time i found somthing like 300 oc 80's and i took 30 of them at one time. Thats alot of money!!!
The most important thing to rember is that we are NOT the people we were when we were using because the power of herion was controling us and that is one powerfull drug!
They say bad things come in 3's...You all have proven that wrong! Great posts!
hee-hee--yes it is sick, but funny in a sick way :0....we had the one, that if you didn't say it right, it would start saying INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!
INTRUDER ALERT!.
INTRUDER ALERT!.
..Bryn..
..The brown use to make us do the craziest things to get it..and even dipping into our kids money..wherever it was.?..would be no exception...when we were sick..we would take wot money we needed even when we felt the guilt boiling up inside..Robbie..
..The brown use to make us do the craziest things to get it..and even dipping into our kids money..wherever it was.?..would be no exception...when we were sick..we would take wot money we needed even when we felt the guilt boiling up inside..Robbie..
Bryn, I can't count the crappy things I've done to get high. Thanks for sharing your story. It's odd how when were in it "addiction" nothing seems to be to low. I fully belive it makes you nuts. I remember standing on highway exits with a gas can waving it yelling I ran outta gas. My nose running, sweating, chills, chest hurting. I stood with a can on mothers day. I've got 30-40 dollars in a few hours doing that. I also got change tossed at me words cursed at me but, I was too sick to care. I had 80 in a savings account for my daughters 6th bithday I used it all on dope. Then I felt so bad I pawned my computer for 50 dollars to my grandmother "granny would only give me cash if I gave her something of value" then got high on that to, burrored 50 form a guy I knew to get the computer back then I gave to computer away for 2 grams of coke!. The things we do lol.
Ahhhhh.....thanks Emily....I know you on here....I read all your stuff too, and you are so compassionate, and giving....my way of explaining things was prior to dope....through dope, and after dope....LOL...once we had to write a paper in psych class...our autobiography....and this was BEFORE I did drugs.
The professor calls me over after class....he says "You're writing is very much in the style of SYLVIA PLATH".....WTF...LOL....that poor lady lived under a porch for some time....then he goes...your life has been interesting...pfffffffff.
To say the LEAST....plus it was an ABNORMAL PSYCH CLASS...LOL....so I guess writing for me is easier than talking....but thanks.
Oh, Mia your brother didn't have them things on his person....silly boy...LOL...I would have had them somehwere on my body ya'd have to have turned me upside down...LOL....right...you thought like him....ONLY you were the one taking them....it is nuts....when I'd cop in the mornings there'd be kids in the alley like your age with book bags....squatting over...vomitting...eyes tearing...and of course our FAVORITE....THE BIG YAWN....how many times can a human being yawn or sneeze....didn't we....you stay away from that brother of yours at all costs, and just don't go near that room, chicki.
Zero, sweetie that broke my heart....the name calling....if someone does that to us clean we'd either be offended or kick their azzzzz.....high who the heck cared....you are fortunate, and Blessed some freak didn't kill you out there, and best of all here you are with us...don't ever go back out there....plus, girl you were like a mad rushing circle...take this, and replace tha, and get that back, and then sell it.....oh, we all been there....right.....it's nuts.
The one day....and it's ironic...I'd been clean for about two months....so was the crazy nut=nut who turned me on to dope, but he'd been clean of the crack....so that in itself was amazing....he worked under the table doing whatever...and he had money...I said hand it over....YOU put my jewelry in that pawn shop, and you're getting it out....we go to the pawn shop....the guy looks all weird at us...gets the stuff....we walk out, and there is my DAD....my father in a ghetto neighborhood.....sitting in his old patrol car with another cop...I almost poopied my pants, and the coward creep runs....people OH YES...they DO check those pawn slips....and you have to show ID....so my dad's friend the cop was going through them....sees my MARRIED name...calls my dad who'd just retired, and yes they were right there....they pulled me in every pawn shop this side of Philly, and you can ask Tina/Misty....there are many....I was marched like a prisoner of war as they flashed their GOLD shield....which is Detectives....and obviously I saw it carried some clout....see this girl...nod....NEVER EVER EVER take anything from her or your azzz will be locked up....nice huh?
May as well have been Jesse James....put me in the klinker please.
Thanks you all...for just listening and sharing I need to be reminded.
Sub-User.....INVALID ENTRY...LOL....it is funny...it is.
The professor calls me over after class....he says "You're writing is very much in the style of SYLVIA PLATH".....WTF...LOL....that poor lady lived under a porch for some time....then he goes...your life has been interesting...pfffffffff.
To say the LEAST....plus it was an ABNORMAL PSYCH CLASS...LOL....so I guess writing for me is easier than talking....but thanks.
Oh, Mia your brother didn't have them things on his person....silly boy...LOL...I would have had them somehwere on my body ya'd have to have turned me upside down...LOL....right...you thought like him....ONLY you were the one taking them....it is nuts....when I'd cop in the mornings there'd be kids in the alley like your age with book bags....squatting over...vomitting...eyes tearing...and of course our FAVORITE....THE BIG YAWN....how many times can a human being yawn or sneeze....didn't we....you stay away from that brother of yours at all costs, and just don't go near that room, chicki.
Zero, sweetie that broke my heart....the name calling....if someone does that to us clean we'd either be offended or kick their azzzzz.....high who the heck cared....you are fortunate, and Blessed some freak didn't kill you out there, and best of all here you are with us...don't ever go back out there....plus, girl you were like a mad rushing circle...take this, and replace tha, and get that back, and then sell it.....oh, we all been there....right.....it's nuts.
The one day....and it's ironic...I'd been clean for about two months....so was the crazy nut=nut who turned me on to dope, but he'd been clean of the crack....so that in itself was amazing....he worked under the table doing whatever...and he had money...I said hand it over....YOU put my jewelry in that pawn shop, and you're getting it out....we go to the pawn shop....the guy looks all weird at us...gets the stuff....we walk out, and there is my DAD....my father in a ghetto neighborhood.....sitting in his old patrol car with another cop...I almost poopied my pants, and the coward creep runs....people OH YES...they DO check those pawn slips....and you have to show ID....so my dad's friend the cop was going through them....sees my MARRIED name...calls my dad who'd just retired, and yes they were right there....they pulled me in every pawn shop this side of Philly, and you can ask Tina/Misty....there are many....I was marched like a prisoner of war as they flashed their GOLD shield....which is Detectives....and obviously I saw it carried some clout....see this girl...nod....NEVER EVER EVER take anything from her or your azzz will be locked up....nice huh?
May as well have been Jesse James....put me in the klinker please.
Thanks you all...for just listening and sharing I need to be reminded.
Sub-User.....INVALID ENTRY...LOL....it is funny...it is.
