My boyfriend was previously a heroine user. He has been on methadone for the last two years. We have been dating for the last six months and it has been a challenge. His old ways of lying and passing blame on everyone but himself have been difficult. I an not a drug user and never have been. I has been really hard for me to understand and sympathize with what he's going through. since being with me he has decided to get off methadone. He was at 85mg and has gone down 5mg every week. He is currently at 8mg and is really starting to feel the effects. he can't sleep, headaches, creepy crawlies.....
I hate to see him suffer and would like to know if there is anyway to help him. Im also wondering if I should ask him to slow down. He is primarily getting off of it because of me and as much as I would like him to be done with it, I don't want him to relapse. Any advice will be very much appreciated.
Thanks,
Vanessa
Dear Venessa,
I am the father of a lovely young woman - so I will be more blunt with you than other posts.
I would think very, very seriously about this relationship. You are powerless over someone else's addiction. The best thing you can do is be on firm footing yourself, and you can begin your own recovery in Family Support programs such as Al Anon or NAR Anon. Your boyfriend is the addict; you are the codependent because you care about him.
Based on your post, I suspect your boyfriend is not working a recovery program. It sounds like he is trying to manage his addiction on his own. This is what addicts face as a good start of recovery: Attendance at AA or NA meetings every day for at least 90 days. Getting a sponsor, working the steps, performing service work, more meetings -- rinse and repeat. I strongly discourage any recoverying addict from building a romantic relationship until they have achieved 1 year of continous sobriety, as well as being able to take care of a house plant and a pet.
So, in 1 year, if these things are achieved, then you can explore how to enrich each. Until then, you are in a dangerous spot.
There are real good people on this message board. I hope you find the encouragement you need.
Good luck
Flyboy
I am the father of a lovely young woman - so I will be more blunt with you than other posts.
I would think very, very seriously about this relationship. You are powerless over someone else's addiction. The best thing you can do is be on firm footing yourself, and you can begin your own recovery in Family Support programs such as Al Anon or NAR Anon. Your boyfriend is the addict; you are the codependent because you care about him.
Based on your post, I suspect your boyfriend is not working a recovery program. It sounds like he is trying to manage his addiction on his own. This is what addicts face as a good start of recovery: Attendance at AA or NA meetings every day for at least 90 days. Getting a sponsor, working the steps, performing service work, more meetings -- rinse and repeat. I strongly discourage any recoverying addict from building a romantic relationship until they have achieved 1 year of continous sobriety, as well as being able to take care of a house plant and a pet.
So, in 1 year, if these things are achieved, then you can explore how to enrich each. Until then, you are in a dangerous spot.
There are real good people on this message board. I hope you find the encouragement you need.
Good luck
Flyboy
