Hi, I need some advice in understanding my very new boyfriend. We started a whirlwind romance for three weeks before he told me about his pain killer addiction. He told me he wanted me to know because he wants me in his life and thought I should know. He is presently on Rivea (spell?) and goes to sessions three times a week. His treatment should be complete in November. After he told about his addiction and me saying I accept him as he is, he got the flu shortly thereafter. He was advised to go off the Rivea, once better and once back on the counteractive drug he became a different person. A once loving attentive guy became removed and distant. After a week I confronted him and he said it was the drug, after two weeks we talked about staying connected. I told him he let me in and i accepted him now he shut me out..I thought we resolved this, but his distance resumed after we had a beautiful weekend out of town. I reacted to his lack of calling which resulted in a conversation that lead to him saying we need to take a week off. I am very confused if this behavior is side effect of the withdraw. I am very unfamiliar with pain killer addictions and how to understand. I don;t think he wants to deal with his realy behavior which i am anticipating will cause him to terminate our relationship for the wrong reasons. I adore him, but am unsure if about his behavior. Please help...at this point we have not talked in several days...and i wonder what;s going on in his head...he seems to be very defensive..Help
Lisa im so sorry that you are having problems. If it were me i would be thinking as its a new relationship could and should i do better? would i want to spend the rest of my life wondering if he were taking etc its never easy hun life is sometimes cruel it can also be the case that after a long term relationship someone starts to take things what im trying ot say here sweet is maybe you should just look out for you and your happiness just a thought best wishes jackie xx
thanks Jacky. I hear what you are saying loud and clear and I guess I know in my heart this is a reality. I know it's a blessing that we havn't been together too long, but there are still many feelings there. It's confusing why he would say that he is not effected. Is this normal to act this way? Please I need more help understanding that this is not ending because of something I have done.
Mind altering drugs of any sort are that mind altering hun i know when i was taking i was so moody one min up then down and up again people around me must of had a hard time trying to guess this is why so many addicts lose friends im no expert hun just an expert on me can i suggest you maybe re-read some posts and gather information that way it might help you understand that a drug addict has to want to quit in order to take any steps closer to recovery for some it may take many many attempts untill they find the right help for them its hard hun but best of luck to you, im sorry if ive not been of much help here jackie xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hey..I am going through almost the exact same thing as you. My relationship is fairly new too and he has been very honest with me about his addiction. It's not easy. One week is perfect and the next week they need another break. I will tell you now...you will feel very alone at times because he has so much going on in his head...he may be very emotionally unavailable to you. Don't take it personally because in the beginning I did. Also, don't lose yourself in the process of being there for him all the time. I support my boyfriend 100% and back him and I am there for him but sometimes it's easy to get so involved that you forget about what you need. Just keep things balanced and if you love him just know it will be hard but you two can get through it. Keep us updated! I will keep you in my prayers:)
