My son lives out of state and when I talk to him during the day he sounds as sharp as a tack...yet in the evenings he's slow of speech and slurs his words. He's also having a hard time holding down a job.
I know he struggles with alcohol and pain killers.
When I talk to him on the phone in the evenings I've been confronting him on how he sounds like he's high on something and we come close to arguing because he swears he's fine, just tired.
I'm not buying it, but am not sure how exactly to handle things...call him out when we're on the phone? Put up with his phone calls and call him out during the day when he's sober?
Is it a good/bad thing to call someone out when their drunk?
Other opinions on how to handle him?
Thanks!
I'm not qualified to give advice on this but if he is drunk he might be ashamed of it. That's why he gets defensive.
Absolutely no point at all speaking to him when he's been drinking. Suggest mailing him some literature on AA (call the AA hot line they will be able to help you).
If you send him literature, at least then he may read it when he's feeling guilty and ashamed one morning after drinking. Of course he may just throw it in the trash too if he's not ready to face his problem.
If you start getting angry or upset with him or challenge him about his drinking/drugs he will most likely just get angry.
Can i suggest you also post on the family board - they may be able to give you some support.
If you send him literature, at least then he may read it when he's feeling guilty and ashamed one morning after drinking. Of course he may just throw it in the trash too if he's not ready to face his problem.
If you start getting angry or upset with him or challenge him about his drinking/drugs he will most likely just get angry.
Can i suggest you also post on the family board - they may be able to give you some support.
When I was called out on my drinking I would use that as an excuse to drink more and to justify my drinking. You cannot bring someone to recovery unless they are willing to walk with you. Next time you talk to him sober you can calmly express your concern and tactfully offer your help and support if he ever feels the need to seek help . Accusing him, making demands , backing him in a corner is not going to get him to admit there is a problem or come clean about an addiction if he do indeed have one. Alcoholism is a disease that tells us we dont have a disease . All you can do is offer to a be a support if he seeks help other than that you cannot force someone who doesnt want to be in recovery . When I was a patient in a treatment center a grandmother brought her grandson there.. he left before a week was up. That is just an example of trying to force recovery. I understand your frustration because I have been on both sides of the fence....Hope you will find a solution. Please check in again....
Thanks everyone for your kind responses.
Yeah, I agree with the old saying...you're not an alcoholic until you admit you're and alcoholic.
It's frustrating though to see this happening yet knowing the best thing to help him is nothing at all and letting him fall.
Yeah, I agree with the old saying...you're not an alcoholic until you admit you're and alcoholic.
It's frustrating though to see this happening yet knowing the best thing to help him is nothing at all and letting him fall.
