OMG...ok first off...I have to calm down a second and breath.....
I just received an email from the Funeral Home in Canada that handled my X son in law's mom's funeral service. It was in a huge font like 23 or something and bright red. Apparently there is an outstanding balance on the account how much I don't know..but I do know we have paid them close to 3500 dollars...apparently nobody had any money for her funeral.
I told them we would help with what we could...they chose the service..the viewing the casket...all the stuff that goes with that. We did not attend...we wrote them a cheque. I had no idea that there was any money outstanding nor do I feel we are responsible.
After the funeral....the family including a sister that flew out there for the funeral from Nova Scotia (Eastern Canada) all flew back there for some kind of wake...my daughter and kearra went as well....they had a fairly lavish goodbye for her...on a yatch and the parties were non stop for a week. I heard over and over again about how much money the family had.
Darleane (the deceased) and I did not speak for several years...she didn't know Kearra except for the last few months of her life...its complicated...for one she assaulted my daughter on Kearras 1st Birthday...and they fought for years...I basically stayed out of it.....but was drawn back shortly before she passed. Long story short...nobody had any money and her surviving kids...all adults had no money so we helped.
I have not spoken with the family since we moved here...not even Kearra's Dad...except for a few occasions when we called him...I know that the Funeral Home got my email from them because I have sent pictures of Kearra....can you believe this....
The Funeral Home is talking about sending the account to collections...blah blah blah...we didn't sign anything....anyway I am appalled at this...I am composing a letter to them but need to calm down a bit first.
Am I over reacting? Why would no one in her family take up for her...not even her own kids...or her sister? Any input before type a few nasty emails...breath breath breath
Thanks...Kee
If you didn't sign anything, yuo are not responsible, flat out. Run a credit report on yourself too in addition to the letter and certify the mail and copy her kids.
Certified letters are a good idea (and don't lose the card they send back in case you need it in the future.) I certainly don't think you owe them anything from what you've said. As you've said, they chose all the stuff knowing that there was no money to pay for it, so it's up to them to deal with the collections people.
I cant see why you have any responsibility for this bill. The others are correct. Send your response certified mail and simply state that you have no responsibility over this debt. Why would they even think that?
Kee Kee:
Sorry this is happening. It is too tragic, huh? Adult children who can party on yachts, yet not pay their bills for their mothers funeral???
Where is the father? She had no husband?
Anyway, yuck! Hey, make sure who you are angry with before you send any letters. Are you angry with the funeral home...or the surviving children???
Was there a life insurance policy? In the states, usually, the funeral home bills the policy...with your approval of course. Here anyway, they just waited for that amount of money to come from the Life Insurance company...this policy was a burial policy specifically.
Kee Kee: If they (the funeral home) has your email from family members, then maybe you could forward their email (the family members) to the funeral home. Or better yet, take your name, email, etc. off the email from the funeral home and forward it to the family members??
I hope this all works out...and I think it is very admirable that you paid anything at all, since you were not liable in any way.
Breath, yeah....don't forget! If you aren't liable, you aren't liable...you can just let it go!
Peace to you Kee Kee,
Sarah
Sorry this is happening. It is too tragic, huh? Adult children who can party on yachts, yet not pay their bills for their mothers funeral???
Where is the father? She had no husband?
Anyway, yuck! Hey, make sure who you are angry with before you send any letters. Are you angry with the funeral home...or the surviving children???
Was there a life insurance policy? In the states, usually, the funeral home bills the policy...with your approval of course. Here anyway, they just waited for that amount of money to come from the Life Insurance company...this policy was a burial policy specifically.
Kee Kee: If they (the funeral home) has your email from family members, then maybe you could forward their email (the family members) to the funeral home. Or better yet, take your name, email, etc. off the email from the funeral home and forward it to the family members??
I hope this all works out...and I think it is very admirable that you paid anything at all, since you were not liable in any way.
Breath, yeah....don't forget! If you aren't liable, you aren't liable...you can just let it go!
Peace to you Kee Kee,
Sarah
They're gonna try to get the money from whomever they can and they had your info so they gave you a shot. Give the funeral home the info for the family and tell them to get the money from them. Your not responsible for it.
exackly john dee...........
kee kee........
that is just nuts, they are trying to get money form anyone at this point,
just like john dee said...........
the childern are responsible for the bill........not you.......
and it was very kind of you to help in the first place..........
love you
it will all work out........
thumper
kee kee........
that is just nuts, they are trying to get money form anyone at this point,
just like john dee said...........
the childern are responsible for the bill........not you.......
and it was very kind of you to help in the first place..........
love you
it will all work out........
thumper
You are not responsible for it especially if you didn't sign anything. JD is right; it isn't your problem.
I think that is very generous of you in the first place, and the family should be sent the remaining bill.
they don't have your info, right? So how could they send you to collections? I highly doubt they can do that, they just seem to be fishing.
How awful. It does show your kind soul for helping in the first place.
We have got to catch up; I always loved that magic sands beach. Amazing, isn't it?
Have you taken the trip to Hilo yet? There are some beautiful hot springs out there, and Vacationland is just georgeous. Four Miles (right in Hilo...right off of Banyan Drive) has a great spot to swim among the lava...with sand on the bottom. Just beautiful....maybe it IS time to revisit the Big Island...lol.
I think that is very generous of you in the first place, and the family should be sent the remaining bill.
they don't have your info, right? So how could they send you to collections? I highly doubt they can do that, they just seem to be fishing.
How awful. It does show your kind soul for helping in the first place.
We have got to catch up; I always loved that magic sands beach. Amazing, isn't it?
Have you taken the trip to Hilo yet? There are some beautiful hot springs out there, and Vacationland is just georgeous. Four Miles (right in Hilo...right off of Banyan Drive) has a great spot to swim among the lava...with sand on the bottom. Just beautiful....maybe it IS time to revisit the Big Island...lol.
KeeKee-First of all......chill.Don't write a letter from being pissed.I've made that mistake many times with very deletrious consequences.
These people are coming after the one they have records of.
I would actually call them and explain the situation and then give them the family's phone numbers and addresses.You are not stuck with the bill.
Good Luck
These people are coming after the one they have records of.
I would actually call them and explain the situation and then give them the family's phone numbers and addresses.You are not stuck with the bill.
Good Luck
One of my many jobs of the past included working at a cemetary, and we worked closely with local funeral homes. They had sales people who sold pre-need services and also time-of-need services. Sometimes the pre-need plans were not paid in full at the time of death.
One thing I saw over and over and over again.....When money was past due they would try to collect it from anyone they could. I swear they sent letters to 4th cousins-in-laws that lived across the country. I mean anyone they could get an address for whether they were responsible or not. They tried to guilt people into paying, and they also tried to use scare tactics on people who had zero responsibility.
Every funeral that takes place has a signed contract. Somebody sat down with a funeral director, entered into a legally binding contract and agreed to pay a certain sum of money. Whoever did that is the only person(s) they can sue or send to collections. If you and your husband are not the ones who entered into this contract, forget about it.
I would call them and send a certified letter. I would remind them that you did not ever agree to pay for anything, and to not contact you about it again. If they try to say otherwise, ask for a copy of the contract. Be sure they know that you donated money out of respect for the family and the deceased, not because you were obligated to.
One thing I saw over and over and over again.....When money was past due they would try to collect it from anyone they could. I swear they sent letters to 4th cousins-in-laws that lived across the country. I mean anyone they could get an address for whether they were responsible or not. They tried to guilt people into paying, and they also tried to use scare tactics on people who had zero responsibility.
Every funeral that takes place has a signed contract. Somebody sat down with a funeral director, entered into a legally binding contract and agreed to pay a certain sum of money. Whoever did that is the only person(s) they can sue or send to collections. If you and your husband are not the ones who entered into this contract, forget about it.
I would call them and send a certified letter. I would remind them that you did not ever agree to pay for anything, and to not contact you about it again. If they try to say otherwise, ask for a copy of the contract. Be sure they know that you donated money out of respect for the family and the deceased, not because you were obligated to.
When Jana's husband died it had to be paid in full before burial, now I'm thinking because she was so young and didn't have a good credit history(?)
We opened an account and asked for donations and things worked out.
I wouldn't think you are in the least bit responsible for the rest of the expenses. I agree with the others, give them the information for the family members. Maybe tell them that any future actions should be discussed through your attorney.
Best of luck to you.
We opened an account and asked for donations and things worked out.
I wouldn't think you are in the least bit responsible for the rest of the expenses. I agree with the others, give them the information for the family members. Maybe tell them that any future actions should be discussed through your attorney.
Best of luck to you.
Thanks guys...I am way calmer....I know that you are all right and I thank you for your input....I guess I am never surprised at how horrible these guys are...I mean I am not one to judge class....I am just not....and I don't want to disrespect the dead.......but I swear to you when my daughter was looking for a bf...she was turning rocks upside down in the dump to see what would slither out....this is a notorious crime family....lol..that sound so sick...mostly pimps and hoes..drug dealers you know your regular run of mill pond scum....Jarvais was not communicating with his family for the longest time and he really was doing so good...I know I know ....again sounds sick...but true....his sisters now have there clutches in him...he is not doing very good.....for some reason and this is not being embelished...when he is around his family...he drinks and bad things happen to him. I find it sick that the family were all there to move into this womens house to "pick her bones" so to speak...but when it comes to paying for her funeral...no one in sight....
I told you that I cornered that market on drama....lol...
The most ironic thing about this is...that out of the worst possible situation has come Kearra...talk about an oxymorone...anyway....
I have sent the guy an email explaining that the money was a gift and that any other money owing should be collected from the surviving family....and to knock it off with the threats......lol
We didn't sign any contract...I believe that was Jarvais.. we were there at that meeting. I just can't believe that Jarvais would not take care of this....he has sunk so far since all this has happened...most heartbreaking is that he dosen't call his little girl...she adores him...so sad....I know he is drinking again and is most definately headed to jail....that is where he always ends up.
Regardless...I am praying for them all....I do wish nothing but the best for them...thanks for letting me vent!!
I told you that I cornered that market on drama....lol...
The most ironic thing about this is...that out of the worst possible situation has come Kearra...talk about an oxymorone...anyway....
I have sent the guy an email explaining that the money was a gift and that any other money owing should be collected from the surviving family....and to knock it off with the threats......lol
We didn't sign any contract...I believe that was Jarvais.. we were there at that meeting. I just can't believe that Jarvais would not take care of this....he has sunk so far since all this has happened...most heartbreaking is that he dosen't call his little girl...she adores him...so sad....I know he is drinking again and is most definately headed to jail....that is where he always ends up.
Regardless...I am praying for them all....I do wish nothing but the best for them...thanks for letting me vent!!
Kee kee I crashed last night. Saw your question
Danny asked the magical question did you sign anything.
PUCK THEM--That was very generous gift.
LOL--I watched the first 19 series of 6 feet under--KEE KEE if you have not seen it? check it out--well done series about the funeral business.
When it comes to $$ people's pretty side tends to shine--
Have a good afternoon -back to work--Jeff
Danny asked the magical question did you sign anything.
PUCK THEM--That was very generous gift.
LOL--I watched the first 19 series of 6 feet under--KEE KEE if you have not seen it? check it out--well done series about the funeral business.
When it comes to $$ people's pretty side tends to shine--
Have a good afternoon -back to work--Jeff
Danny (and several others) are correct about the fact that you are not legally responsible for the overdue balance unless you signed a contract with the funeral home, which you did not. Like Tim recommended, take a breath, write a return letter tomorrow or the next explaining that you never assumed responsibility for payment nor signed any contract with the home. past payments by you were simply to help the family out.
Request that they send any further payment demands to the individual who legally assumed responsibility for payment -- presumably the individual who signed the burial services contract.
You might also add that U.S. law forbids creditors from making the types of false representations and threats that their letter contains -- i.e., falsely representing that you are legally liable for payment, and then threatening you with legal action that they can not, in fact, pursue.
Good luck. Sorry your generosity has been rewarded this way.
Request that they send any further payment demands to the individual who legally assumed responsibility for payment -- presumably the individual who signed the burial services contract.
You might also add that U.S. law forbids creditors from making the types of false representations and threats that their letter contains -- i.e., falsely representing that you are legally liable for payment, and then threatening you with legal action that they can not, in fact, pursue.
Good luck. Sorry your generosity has been rewarded this way.
Yeah...most of you were right this place is so slimy they are just trying to "guilt" us into paying the balance. I did receive an email back this morning after telling him in no uncertain terms to F off.
Anyway he apologized and gave some BS story about how his Funeral Director told him that my husband had asked him to forward the bill to my hubby and that he didn't realize that the money we paid was a gift.... Blah Blah...Blah...
I called him on all of his crap...basically said that It doesn't matter who said what to who about what! I asked him is that how they run there business based on what people say? Or do they have someone sign a contract so that it is clear before services are rendered....he was implying that because we had paid the majority..he assumed we would be looking after the account. Its also clear that the family directed him to us in the first place.
We are not family to this women...in fact I barely knew her...I met her maybe 3 or 4 times.....our only intention was to help....I really let him have it for threatening collection....again...he apologized.....I told him to look at the documents and see who signed....then perhaps contact that person!!!
Thanks for the input..sheeesh life....and people in it...lol.....never ceases to amaze me.....anyway..we won't be hearing from them again. He also asked me for the families information...I mostly blame this business....why they would not have this up front...well its beyond me??? The surviving kids all moved into the mothers house and have been there since the accident at the end of July.
Just goes to show you...even in death....its big business....and some are just better than others...
Jeff...I have seen that show....I get a kick out of it....my hubby thinks its disgusting...big surprise...yet one more thing that we don't see eye to eye on!!!
Anyway he apologized and gave some BS story about how his Funeral Director told him that my husband had asked him to forward the bill to my hubby and that he didn't realize that the money we paid was a gift.... Blah Blah...Blah...
I called him on all of his crap...basically said that It doesn't matter who said what to who about what! I asked him is that how they run there business based on what people say? Or do they have someone sign a contract so that it is clear before services are rendered....he was implying that because we had paid the majority..he assumed we would be looking after the account. Its also clear that the family directed him to us in the first place.
We are not family to this women...in fact I barely knew her...I met her maybe 3 or 4 times.....our only intention was to help....I really let him have it for threatening collection....again...he apologized.....I told him to look at the documents and see who signed....then perhaps contact that person!!!
Thanks for the input..sheeesh life....and people in it...lol.....never ceases to amaze me.....anyway..we won't be hearing from them again. He also asked me for the families information...I mostly blame this business....why they would not have this up front...well its beyond me??? The surviving kids all moved into the mothers house and have been there since the accident at the end of July.
Just goes to show you...even in death....its big business....and some are just better than others...
Jeff...I have seen that show....I get a kick out of it....my hubby thinks its disgusting...big surprise...yet one more thing that we don't see eye to eye on!!!
OMG...this saga continues.....lol...I thought that I would share the email that this shmuck sent me....
Hello Kerri,
Thank you for sending this information so that we can contact the family.
Kerri, there has been obviously some miscommunication in regards to how the account was to be paid. Here at First Memorial as any other funeral home that I have worked for in the past, we have had no issue if a friend, business or other party has made a payment or paid the full account for a family, even if that party has not signed the contract. So if someone asks the account to be sent to that person we assume that that means that person will see it is looked after. We had not received any correspondence from Steve to tell us otherwise, so again an assumption was made that he still wished to follow through with this account.
We have honoured this contract in the sense that the services and merchandise the family request were provided for the funeral for Ms. Eisnor. I would like to take this opportunity to apologise for misleading you and Steve in to thinking that we were going to hold you responsible for this account. Please note with my first email to you and Steve that I wrote that "We find ourselves in a situation that we will send this account to collections" I did not mention that I was sending you or Steve to collections. I was merely trying to find contacts to find out who was paying the final balance on this account and was just going on what information we were given initially to see if arrangements for payment can be arranged prior to having to deal with a collection agency. This account should have been sent to collections in November at the latest, here at the funeral home the funeral directors try to give the families as much time as possible to clear up their account prior to having to deal with the unpleasantness of a collection agency. In this situation we now know that you and Steve wish NOT to be the responsible party any longer for this family and with you taking the time to kindly send us some contact info for the family we can now carry forth and follow up with the responsible party..
In closing I do again apologise for anything that was misconstrued in the bodies of these emails. I feel that talking in person one can make themselves better understood than sometimes can be done on an email.
Can you believe this...still wreeks of making us feel guilty...and madly trying to recover from the threat of collections.
I sent him one back telling him....that it is unprofessional in any business to assume anything!!!! Look at your contracts!!!!! I also told him that I find it hard to believe that they have no information on the family as it is the same now as it was then...this guy is playing games!!
I must say now that I am bit calmer...it is becoming mildly amusing...man I need a hobby!!!!
Hello Kerri,
Thank you for sending this information so that we can contact the family.
Kerri, there has been obviously some miscommunication in regards to how the account was to be paid. Here at First Memorial as any other funeral home that I have worked for in the past, we have had no issue if a friend, business or other party has made a payment or paid the full account for a family, even if that party has not signed the contract. So if someone asks the account to be sent to that person we assume that that means that person will see it is looked after. We had not received any correspondence from Steve to tell us otherwise, so again an assumption was made that he still wished to follow through with this account.
We have honoured this contract in the sense that the services and merchandise the family request were provided for the funeral for Ms. Eisnor. I would like to take this opportunity to apologise for misleading you and Steve in to thinking that we were going to hold you responsible for this account. Please note with my first email to you and Steve that I wrote that "We find ourselves in a situation that we will send this account to collections" I did not mention that I was sending you or Steve to collections. I was merely trying to find contacts to find out who was paying the final balance on this account and was just going on what information we were given initially to see if arrangements for payment can be arranged prior to having to deal with a collection agency. This account should have been sent to collections in November at the latest, here at the funeral home the funeral directors try to give the families as much time as possible to clear up their account prior to having to deal with the unpleasantness of a collection agency. In this situation we now know that you and Steve wish NOT to be the responsible party any longer for this family and with you taking the time to kindly send us some contact info for the family we can now carry forth and follow up with the responsible party..
In closing I do again apologise for anything that was misconstrued in the bodies of these emails. I feel that talking in person one can make themselves better understood than sometimes can be done on an email.
Can you believe this...still wreeks of making us feel guilty...and madly trying to recover from the threat of collections.
I sent him one back telling him....that it is unprofessional in any business to assume anything!!!! Look at your contracts!!!!! I also told him that I find it hard to believe that they have no information on the family as it is the same now as it was then...this guy is playing games!!
I must say now that I am bit calmer...it is becoming mildly amusing...man I need a hobby!!!!
More disgusting than the funeral home trying to collect from anyone on this expense, is the refusal of the children of this woman to pay for thier mothers funeral. They should be haunted the rest of their lives by her.
Ok KeeKee, you win. You do have the most family drama. lol Amazing.
Lisa...I trust me....we have barely scraped the surface...James Frye...well he has got nothing on me!!! LOL
Donna...how true is that....its all so sad...this women and me...we were are both grammies too Kearra....that is all we had in common....I barely knew her and our relationship was very bad....she resented me so much....we had very harsh words....how ironic is all this...man life is weird.
Donna...how true is that....its all so sad...this women and me...we were are both grammies too Kearra....that is all we had in common....I barely knew her and our relationship was very bad....she resented me so much....we had very harsh words....how ironic is all this...man life is weird.
