Hey fellow addict,
OMG by the time I got through reading this thread this morning and then went to respond I was a crazy person. I am sorry I got lost somewhere as to who husband was smoking what. Listen to what Littlebeach said she is right. I'll tell you this because I know there are alot of good men out there and the s***ty ones should be put in the trash. Thank God I have one of the good guys thats the reason I am supporting him into his new life without pills.
Stay strong .........
Tina
I feel I have to speak on the part of the male species, we're all not like that. Some of us are actually sensitive and treat women with respect. Sounds like you girls are married to insensitive aholes (sorry if I offended anyone). You deserve better than that.
JohnDee
JohnDee
John Dee,
Sensitive men are very hard to come by. If I were to get married again, it would definitely be to a man who is sensitive, caring, thoughtful....a real gentleman! I was in too much of a hurry to get married (I got married at 20)!
Keep up that image!
Susan
Sensitive men are very hard to come by. If I were to get married again, it would definitely be to a man who is sensitive, caring, thoughtful....a real gentleman! I was in too much of a hurry to get married (I got married at 20)!
Keep up that image!
Susan
Mistyeyes, I'd let you rip at my husband if I thought it would do any good. He is sooo stubborn. Its not so much the money that he doesn't trust me with. Its the fact that I left him for 30 days to get clean and he had to take care of the kids. Although my mom and sister helped out alot it was like I was torturing him. I not only have a full time job but have to be the full time mom, housekeeper, take care of all the bills, and what ever else it is that he thinks a wife should be. Its almost like he is livingin the old days when the women stayed home and did nothing but cook, clean and pop out the babies. Don;t take me wrong there is nothing wrong with staying home and being a full time mom, but that is just not me. I literally am the breadwinner in the house and he hates that I make more $ than him. But he expects me to do that and also be 100% Housewife and mom. I just cant do it. I've asked him time and time again to help out with the house and kids but so far nothing. Now he expects me to pick up overtime. I know one of the reasons I used was to deal with him. I love him but yet there are days that I hate him. He is not making my recovery easy but he can't see that. I'm trying to cope and I really need to have a serious talk with him. thanks for listening Ann
I had to bring this back, how am i ever supposed to stay off of drugs when my husband trats me like crap, and have slipped because of it, ahhhhh...
please help me!!
please help me!!
Jasmine...
Did you slip today? What happened...what did you take? Let me know.
Did you slip today? What happened...what did you take? Let me know.
no, i slipped a week ago and was using for a week like alot, to ashamed to tell anyone and i used pain killers because i just couldnt take life anymore:(
my 6 month chip all a waste!!
my 6 month chip all a waste!!
Jasmine...I am so sorry. You were clean 6 months? Don't be ashamed to admit you messed up...especially here. I think this is the best place to admit it....I think we can all relate. You don't know how many times I tried to stop the pills. Can you start over? Ditch the pills you have and start over. Easier said than done, I know,,,,,but I can at least try to give you some advice.
Take care of yourself and stay in touch...please.
Take care of yourself and stay in touch...please.
see thats the problem , is that i dont have any pills and can not get any and i am scared to feel that withdrawl!! what do I do?/
Jasmine,
Your 6 month chip was not a waste at all!!! I understand you are mad at yourself for slipping but slipping isn't the end. There is always the chance to do it again and not slip. And you are worth this. So take what you can learn from the experience and move forward. Like you said because your hubby doesn't support you you slipped. Okay, that's something to look at. How do you build support without him? Do you stay with him??? How can it be better?? Ultimately, how do you now take care of yourself in this situation. It's never a waste honey. You have more information to work on so one day when you get that chip you will not be plugged in and slip again. It's a learning life. Hang in there.
Love,
PM
Your 6 month chip was not a waste at all!!! I understand you are mad at yourself for slipping but slipping isn't the end. There is always the chance to do it again and not slip. And you are worth this. So take what you can learn from the experience and move forward. Like you said because your hubby doesn't support you you slipped. Okay, that's something to look at. How do you build support without him? Do you stay with him??? How can it be better?? Ultimately, how do you now take care of yourself in this situation. It's never a waste honey. You have more information to work on so one day when you get that chip you will not be plugged in and slip again. It's a learning life. Hang in there.
Love,
PM
wow, that was really sweet, I JUST WANNA BE NORMAL!!! THANKS ALL!!
I AM HAVING A ANXIETY ATTACK, thanks for all of your support, i luv u all...
I AM HAVING A ANXIETY ATTACK, thanks for all of your support, i luv u all...
Zannie-Had to respond to your post. Yep- Some men (and ya, some women) are like that. They simply don't understand what you are going through. Now, if you love him, have that talk. If he is a jerk about it, then you know. You have what is known as a "disease". (So do I btw). If you came home and told your hubby you had cancer, would he be this way? Of course not. He needs education. And if he loves you, he'll get that education. This site (and a number of others) are really good for info. Or, he could talk to an addiction specialist to help him understand. Let me tell ya, my Mom was an alcoholic for 40 years, until she died. I never understood it. NEVER. It was like "why can't she just put down the bottle". You don't understand unless it either happens to you OR you become educated on what is REALLY going on. Guess what? I'm in the same boat my Mom was. Only, I'm determined to row this boat ashore.
Jasmine....don't have an anxiety attack....my husband is controlling too, but he is very loving as well and I know he cares about me...that is why he is so controlling. He knows I can't be trusted with certain things and he has accepted that. Sometimes I think he likes it that way.....being controlling, etc...
Are you going to try to get clean again? I'm sure with the weekend here you might want to think about that on Monday???Keep in touch. Don't feel bad about yourself....Im just worried....I'm a mom and stuff...
Kat
Are you going to try to get clean again? I'm sure with the weekend here you might want to think about that on Monday???Keep in touch. Don't feel bad about yourself....Im just worried....I'm a mom and stuff...
Kat
Jaz- If you did it once, you certainly can do it again. You GO girl..and no chip is a waste. It meant a lot when you got it, I'm sure. Take it in your hand, hold it, and know you can do it again, but this time you are going for a year!!!!!!!
Hey KAT!!! I'm a DAD and I have 5 kids..(don't know what I was thinking.hehe love 'em all so much)
Danny....5 KIDS....that is a lot....I only have two and they exhaust me. There is always something going on....Have a good weekend.
Kat
Kat
Hi Fellow Addict,
Your husband sounds a lot like my first husband. Only difference is he used drugs and alcohol too. He was very abusive, verbally and physically. You don't sound happy at all in your marriage. I wasn't either. All I want to say is that you can't go on living like that, especially with children in the house. They know you're not happy, even if you don't think they see. Also if your husband is verbally abusive then your children also hear that. You need to make a plan on getting out of that situation eventually. But, before you can do that you need to get and stay clean. I know it's hard but if he gets spiteful as my first husband was, he will go for custody and the fact you're using can be held against you. You need to figure out how you can get independent. Once I told my ex husband I wanted a divorce all hell broke loose. He closed the bank accounts. I had no money of my own. He too controlled the money all through the marriage, just as you have to answer to your husband about why you need money, I had to get my husbands permission to buy myself some clothes that I needed. I never had money in my pockets. You really need to plan things out thoroughly if you do decide to leave. You may not see it now but the way your husband and you get along really has an affect on the kids. Perhaps he would agree to marriage counseling? If you don't find a way to change the situation your in then chances are you will always relapse. I couldn't stay clean with my ex husband. I wanted to blank everything out. I hope you can figure out a way to get on your own feet. I know it is hard with small children, can't afford child care or anything. Single mothers do it somehow though. I see it all the time. They manage to work and take care of their children alone. You really need to find a way to either live with your husband happily, if that is possible or you need to find a safe way out. I don't post much on here anymore. Just what you have been saying about your husband reminded me so much of my first husband. Good luck to you.
Your husband sounds a lot like my first husband. Only difference is he used drugs and alcohol too. He was very abusive, verbally and physically. You don't sound happy at all in your marriage. I wasn't either. All I want to say is that you can't go on living like that, especially with children in the house. They know you're not happy, even if you don't think they see. Also if your husband is verbally abusive then your children also hear that. You need to make a plan on getting out of that situation eventually. But, before you can do that you need to get and stay clean. I know it's hard but if he gets spiteful as my first husband was, he will go for custody and the fact you're using can be held against you. You need to figure out how you can get independent. Once I told my ex husband I wanted a divorce all hell broke loose. He closed the bank accounts. I had no money of my own. He too controlled the money all through the marriage, just as you have to answer to your husband about why you need money, I had to get my husbands permission to buy myself some clothes that I needed. I never had money in my pockets. You really need to plan things out thoroughly if you do decide to leave. You may not see it now but the way your husband and you get along really has an affect on the kids. Perhaps he would agree to marriage counseling? If you don't find a way to change the situation your in then chances are you will always relapse. I couldn't stay clean with my ex husband. I wanted to blank everything out. I hope you can figure out a way to get on your own feet. I know it is hard with small children, can't afford child care or anything. Single mothers do it somehow though. I see it all the time. They manage to work and take care of their children alone. You really need to find a way to either live with your husband happily, if that is possible or you need to find a safe way out. I don't post much on here anymore. Just what you have been saying about your husband reminded me so much of my first husband. Good luck to you.
Wow, u guys really do care, i know that i do not personally know you any of you but I LUV each and everyone of u for all of the support!! tears are rooling down , my face, wow u guys are the BOMB like my 15 year old brother jason says, hee"{{{{{{{{{[[hugs and kisses to all of you}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} this is like a little NA family, i wish we could all meet??!! take care all and i will keep u posted and Chris call me, i need to talk to u! luv you all jasmine...
Hi all,
First this is for Danny 5 kids hopefully not all girls or you are in trouble......and is that alittle yes you have going on in your signature line been driving me crazy wondering. Zannie things will slowly back to normal......I am really confused about these husbands. Yours may be alittle insecure because you are a strong woman. I do understand the trust issues the hubby and I spoke of that tonight. He has no money credit cards or mac card an he is ok with that. It is to easy where he works all day to buy drugs s*** he can go to the neighbor and get anything he wants too. But not trusting is one thing no support is another. Don't get me wrong none of you should be coddled. It is going to be hard but if you are making progress day to day they should be proud! Maybe these guys need to jump on this board and see what it truely going on and how bad it is for you all. This is a terrible disease usually started by a doctor giving what they tout to be the new miracle pill most times for legit pain. I look at the hubby and feel sorry that he is so much pain but I am equally angry that he abused them like an idiot. Now he has to live with the bed he made for himself.
Jasmine hang in there. I am sorry to see that you had a setback. 6 months in is something to be proud of ......so now you will have to pick yourself up and do it all again.......It will be worth it. Don't lose sight of the goal being drug free forever.
Take care all and stay strong......
Tina
First this is for Danny 5 kids hopefully not all girls or you are in trouble......and is that alittle yes you have going on in your signature line been driving me crazy wondering. Zannie things will slowly back to normal......I am really confused about these husbands. Yours may be alittle insecure because you are a strong woman. I do understand the trust issues the hubby and I spoke of that tonight. He has no money credit cards or mac card an he is ok with that. It is to easy where he works all day to buy drugs s*** he can go to the neighbor and get anything he wants too. But not trusting is one thing no support is another. Don't get me wrong none of you should be coddled. It is going to be hard but if you are making progress day to day they should be proud! Maybe these guys need to jump on this board and see what it truely going on and how bad it is for you all. This is a terrible disease usually started by a doctor giving what they tout to be the new miracle pill most times for legit pain. I look at the hubby and feel sorry that he is so much pain but I am equally angry that he abused them like an idiot. Now he has to live with the bed he made for himself.
Jasmine hang in there. I am sorry to see that you had a setback. 6 months in is something to be proud of ......so now you will have to pick yourself up and do it all again.......It will be worth it. Don't lose sight of the goal being drug free forever.
Take care all and stay strong......
Tina
Thank you, much luv to u all, jazzy
