Hi,
I don't know what to do anymore. I love my fiance to death but his addiction isn't getting as ny better, just worse. He pawns everything in our house to get crack. He has stollen my checks, took my kids things and my friends stuff. Then he just mentally abuses me all the time saying its my fault he is like this. He has also gotten violent with me when he is coming down and wanting more. I don't know what to do. I don't even feel good about myself anymore. someone please just give me some advice.freakbaby_nc@yahoo.com
Hi Amy,
My hubby is a recovering crack addict. The tales you relate are not uncommon. Addicts will do just about anything to get their next high. They will steal , cheat, lie, and break your heart in the process. You said he was your fiance. Addiction and its recovery is going to be a life long process. Quitting is not enough. Both of you need to be in a program. Him for his addiction and you to vent out all your angers, fears, guilts and frustrations. Here are several links for both of you:-
Cocaine Anonymous (for the addict)
http://www.ca.org/
Narcotics Anonymous (for the addict)
http://www.na.org/
Alcoholics Anonymous
http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/
Al-Anon (for the spouse friend or family of )
http://www.al-anon-alateen.org/
Nar-Anon (for the spouse, friend or family of)
http://www.naranon.com/about/whatis.html
All of these links are to the official sites. Once there you can find meetings in your area. Without some kind of support your are going to have a rough time. What you are going through right now could possibly be a life long problem. A program will give you both some hope and strength. That is one alternative. Another is to pack up and leave before you make a committment.Or the third choice is to do nothing and suffer. Only you know your situation and can decide what you want to do. Recovery has helped us both but we have been married for 29 years. I don't know how much you have invested in this relationship. Is it worth saving? Or is it time to move on? Your call. Time to sit down and face reality with some really hard facts. If you choose to stay I hope you get to a meeting to keep your sanity and find some serenity. I wish you both well on your paths to recovery.
Good luck and God Bless,
lildee
My hubby is a recovering crack addict. The tales you relate are not uncommon. Addicts will do just about anything to get their next high. They will steal , cheat, lie, and break your heart in the process. You said he was your fiance. Addiction and its recovery is going to be a life long process. Quitting is not enough. Both of you need to be in a program. Him for his addiction and you to vent out all your angers, fears, guilts and frustrations. Here are several links for both of you:-
Cocaine Anonymous (for the addict)
http://www.ca.org/
Narcotics Anonymous (for the addict)
http://www.na.org/
Alcoholics Anonymous
http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/
Al-Anon (for the spouse friend or family of )
http://www.al-anon-alateen.org/
Nar-Anon (for the spouse, friend or family of)
http://www.naranon.com/about/whatis.html
All of these links are to the official sites. Once there you can find meetings in your area. Without some kind of support your are going to have a rough time. What you are going through right now could possibly be a life long problem. A program will give you both some hope and strength. That is one alternative. Another is to pack up and leave before you make a committment.Or the third choice is to do nothing and suffer. Only you know your situation and can decide what you want to do. Recovery has helped us both but we have been married for 29 years. I don't know how much you have invested in this relationship. Is it worth saving? Or is it time to move on? Your call. Time to sit down and face reality with some really hard facts. If you choose to stay I hope you get to a meeting to keep your sanity and find some serenity. I wish you both well on your paths to recovery.
Good luck and God Bless,
lildee
The above posts said it all.....Do what you have to do to keep yourself safe. We cannot help the addict that doesn't want help. You are only helping him stay in addiction. Have you considered trying Al- anon or Nar-anon? We get so caught up in others addiction that we forget about ourselves. My two children had to walk away from me completely before I could wrapped my head around what I had done to myself, my family, my friends...... As addicts as long as we get away with it, we never learn the consquences of our actions and we will never stop. Detach with Love and kindness. Take care of yourself. God Bless.
The above posts ARE so true. My husband is a recovering heroin addict and now he is using coke. He tells me does not have a problem with coke but, I know better. When we were engaged he told me he had a small problem with heroin. He went to rehab and was sober for 4 years until I went into the hospital on bed rest with our second child. I was there for 40 days on bed rest. We had a lot of support from family and friends so he should have been able to get through it but he could not and started to use again. He was high on the birth of our second child. After my c-section he said he was sick to my mother and could not be near the baby. I knew what he was really doing. He was going to get high. I knew because of the weight lose and his attitude change. Well my whole point is I should have left when I had the chance. I thought he would be sober forever yes 4 years is great but, not long enough. That is something you will have to worry about for your future. You have to really think if he ever does get it together do you want to always wonder if he is using again. I would hope not. We make choices in life. Please just make the right one. I promise you will have a better life without the drug abuse. Good Luck.
Lily
Lily
I have a 15yr. old pregnant troubled teen with no where else to go come December and she wants to live with my family . She's been in trouble with the law since the age of 12 and drugs and trouble have been a part of her life for 3 years now. Her mother is an addict also and gives the girl no sence of direction whatsoever. I feel committed to helping her but refuse to be manipulated by her. I wonder how sincere her promise to change her life around is. She has been placed in a program to help her start her change. I feel like I could give this girl a stable loving enviroment providing she wants to change.. Her lifestlye has been unstable with no male figure and a mother whos always strung out. Her choice of drugs have been myth,crack, ecstacy. Any advice? 'Cuz I need it.
