Hello, I haven't read the posts for a couple days and it took me an hour to catch up.. I have been dealing with my mothers addiction to drugs, my sons ADHD, and I am waiting for the emotional breakdown to hit at any moment. I take Effexor now for anxiety and I don't know if it's working but, I am not about to stop taking it in case it is. I am always stressed out to the point of no return. I do not take anything narcotic because I will start the insane thinking all over again. I actually ran over my friends foot just for the pain meds. I go insane as soon as the drug is consumed. NOTHING im my life can compare to the insane person I become. I have had 3 years w/out opiets but, do not think that I haven't had all the using behaviors even w/out the drug. I have switched addictions, made all the same promises, and carry all the guilt that any using addict does. Like I said I am a mess.......
You ran over your friend's foot? lmao, sorry but that was funny. There just has to be a story behind that one. Love, Kat
Jaclyn;
Do you have any kind of f2f support? NA or AA, or a counselor, a good friend, etc. Someone and/or someplace where you can vent? There's no need to go thru any of this alone.
Jim
Do you have any kind of f2f support? NA or AA, or a counselor, a good friend, etc. Someone and/or someplace where you can vent? There's no need to go thru any of this alone.
Jim
I do have many people that care, that I can talk to. I am just so tired of singing the same tune. I was very involved in NA, I just don't go anymore. I think I keep talking to people that I know will justify my behaviors. I know what I need to do. I am just faking my happiness so that I can maybe start feeling happy. I am sounding crazy but I really have myself convinced that I have to stay in this pain and I am losing hope for the drive to do anything about it. I have had so much focus on everyone but myself. and now I am feeling pretty awful
Hey, Jim! I haven't seen you post in a while. Not that I get the chance to read everyone's! How are you doing?
Love,
Susan
Love,
Susan
Hello....and welcome.
I am with you on the mess thing....things got insane after I got clean...and my behaviors aren't exactly helping any.
Maybe you can find a tough sponsor (but a good person that you can relate to, but won't cosign you madness for you) that can help you in depth with the steps. You might find some relief there.
Or, check into some cognitive behavioral changes. You can google it on the web, or find a couselor that specializes in this type of therapy.
Sometimes the madness is just old survivial mechanisms that we need to change, but need to be shown how.
Then you can give me the answer *wink wink*
I have an adhd son also. That type of parenting is a whole new world...it can make you nuts. I know. So try not to beat yourself up. That will try Mother Teresa.
Kerry
I am with you on the mess thing....things got insane after I got clean...and my behaviors aren't exactly helping any.
Maybe you can find a tough sponsor (but a good person that you can relate to, but won't cosign you madness for you) that can help you in depth with the steps. You might find some relief there.
Or, check into some cognitive behavioral changes. You can google it on the web, or find a couselor that specializes in this type of therapy.
Sometimes the madness is just old survivial mechanisms that we need to change, but need to be shown how.
Then you can give me the answer *wink wink*
I have an adhd son also. That type of parenting is a whole new world...it can make you nuts. I know. So try not to beat yourself up. That will try Mother Teresa.
Kerry
Maybe you need to go back to NA? Or maybe Alanon. It doesn't sound like you're doing too well on your own. We don't graduate from AA/NA. We have to keep going or the insanity and unmanageability begins again. If you know what to do like you say you do, why aren't you doing it? You have the solutions. Staying involved in AA saves me on a daily basis. I am afraid to venture out in life without my support. Come on back, honey. We're waiting for you.
