Well my husband and I told our 19 year old son to leave our home tonight. The last straw that broke us especially me was I found out he tried to cash one of my checks (that he stole) and forged my name the bank did not cash it signature didn't match I found this out because my husband was going through his phone (we pay for his phone) and found a picture of my check with my account # and routing # he was trying to transfer money into his account on top of trying to cash the check. I now have to go to the bank Monday and have my account # changed because i'm not sure if he has the info stored somewhere else. I also could not get into my account online password was not accepted then when I tried to re register it said my personal info did not match the account # I went on his computer and saw that last night he was logged on to my bank (he also has account at same bank) so thought nothing at first then saw he was opening account at a different bank this must be why he had photos of my accounts. I could be broke by Monday, I know I can call the police and have him arrested for fraud but I can't do it. just praying he has no access to my account
Moms Hell, I know its hard and well done for taking the strength to do this. I too am doing the same thing with my daughter, 19. NOt easy for a mom I know. But its a step forward towards him realising the consequences for his use. And that will push him closer to asking for help. In the meantime you have to look after yourself. Please try to find something to do, wether its gardening, reading, seeing friends! whatever helps! I go for a drive, see a friend, and spend a lot of time outside in my garden. MY daughter has also done something similar. SHe got hold of our accounts and transferred a few hundred into her account. THis was over 6 months ago. We made the mistake of believing her when she said she would go to rehab, what we should of done was to ask her to leave. So here we are still living this nightmare. ANother advice given to me was to remind him you love him, and inform other people of your situation, to local police, friends, doctors etc..So that he has a safety plan and that they are aware. I live in a small town so that suits me as more eyes out there for her if need be. And if he wants to come back, make it clear that only on the condition that he will call to book in for rehab right away and if he doesn't do not let him in. You take care of yourself. And remember your doing the right thing. If he refuses to change, well at least you've taken control and are making the changes :)
Mom
It's the worst thing , the feeling of losing to the drug addiction. I have been lied to, my credit card stolen. My home broken into. Emotional blackmail , had the begging crying. No one cares no one loves me. I am not an addict I have bi polar. I've heard it all done it all. My son is 35 and finally have had enough. He has gotten thousands of dollars of everyone. He has done the 12 steps a dozen times just because he was told to. He has hit bottom where it would of broken a normal person but keeps on going. He is missing now. Been a month, while it's been peaceful on my phone and emails. I am struggling sleeping. I am so afraid he will die and I won't know about it. You have done the right thing. Believe me until he walks himself in a rehab and stays more than 6 months and then transition back into life slowly he will never quit. He will always find a way to manipulate the system.
Take care of yourself. your husband and family. .xxxx
Sue
It's the worst thing , the feeling of losing to the drug addiction. I have been lied to, my credit card stolen. My home broken into. Emotional blackmail , had the begging crying. No one cares no one loves me. I am not an addict I have bi polar. I've heard it all done it all. My son is 35 and finally have had enough. He has gotten thousands of dollars of everyone. He has done the 12 steps a dozen times just because he was told to. He has hit bottom where it would of broken a normal person but keeps on going. He is missing now. Been a month, while it's been peaceful on my phone and emails. I am struggling sleeping. I am so afraid he will die and I won't know about it. You have done the right thing. Believe me until he walks himself in a rehab and stays more than 6 months and then transition back into life slowly he will never quit. He will always find a way to manipulate the system.
Take care of yourself. your husband and family. .xxxx
Sue
DEAR MOM'S HELL,
I AM RECOVERINGMAMMY.YOU SENT A POST TO MY LETTER.NOW I AM RETURNING A POST TO YOUR LETTER.I AM SO SO VERY SORRY FOR YOUR PAIN,SUFFERING AND HURT.I KNOW THE ANGUISH AND THE FEAR THAT THE DISEASE WILL KILL YOUR CHILD AND ALSO THE PAIN OF THE LIES AND BETRAYAL THAT COMES WITH ADDICTION.THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED TO ME WAS GOING TO ALANON TO GET HELP FOR MYSELF.TO RESTORE ME TO SANITY.TO TEACH ME HOW TO NOT ENABLE AND TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.IT TAUGHT ME TO HATE THE DISEASE WHILE LOVING MY SICK CHILD.WHILE OUR CHILDREN ARE STILL IN THEIR DISEASE,THEY ARE STILL RESPONSIBLE FOR THE BAD CHOICES THEY ARE MAKING.I WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU.WE ARE POWERLESS OVER ADDICTION.DIDN'T CAUSE IT,CAN'T CONTROL IT OR CURE IT BUT WE CAN PRAY AND i DO AND I WILL FOR YOU AND FOR US ALL.
TAKE GOOD CARE MY DEAR.
RECOVERING MAMMY.
I AM RECOVERINGMAMMY.YOU SENT A POST TO MY LETTER.NOW I AM RETURNING A POST TO YOUR LETTER.I AM SO SO VERY SORRY FOR YOUR PAIN,SUFFERING AND HURT.I KNOW THE ANGUISH AND THE FEAR THAT THE DISEASE WILL KILL YOUR CHILD AND ALSO THE PAIN OF THE LIES AND BETRAYAL THAT COMES WITH ADDICTION.THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED TO ME WAS GOING TO ALANON TO GET HELP FOR MYSELF.TO RESTORE ME TO SANITY.TO TEACH ME HOW TO NOT ENABLE AND TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.IT TAUGHT ME TO HATE THE DISEASE WHILE LOVING MY SICK CHILD.WHILE OUR CHILDREN ARE STILL IN THEIR DISEASE,THEY ARE STILL RESPONSIBLE FOR THE BAD CHOICES THEY ARE MAKING.I WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU.WE ARE POWERLESS OVER ADDICTION.DIDN'T CAUSE IT,CAN'T CONTROL IT OR CURE IT BUT WE CAN PRAY AND i DO AND I WILL FOR YOU AND FOR US ALL.
TAKE GOOD CARE MY DEAR.
RECOVERING MAMMY.
Tell him if any thing comes up stolen or missing g from ur account t from now on then you will no choice but to have him arrested. If he keeps that up playing with your personal life then you will have him Locked in jail .Because that is just uncalled for !
I know exactly how you feel I have just told my 21 year old son that he cant come home until he goes for treatment and I feel like the worst mom ever. He has been for treatment twice and refuses to go again :( He is crying telling me mom how can you abandon me. Its breaking my heart and Im really not sure I did the right thing
I can relate. Over 18 months ago I called the police and had my daughter charged for taking my bank card and stealing money from me. At that point it was the last straw. She had stolen from her brother, had damaged my house extensively. She ended up being charged and went to a remand centre. From there I made it clear she was not welcome home unless she went to rehab. So she did... her second time.
Unfortunately she relapsed when she got out.
Recently I went to see her as she the lives two provinces away. She is living on the streets and using meth. She told me she doesn't have a home anymore. I cried with her. I hate this disease. Any other disease you can comfort your child and be there with them but with addiction it is enabling
I left her broken to live on the streets because she is not ready to change. I try to live life but I cry daily and the pain is unbelievable. And I try to detatch but it is a constant struggle.
Heartbroken Mom
Unfortunately she relapsed when she got out.
Recently I went to see her as she the lives two provinces away. She is living on the streets and using meth. She told me she doesn't have a home anymore. I cried with her. I hate this disease. Any other disease you can comfort your child and be there with them but with addiction it is enabling
I left her broken to live on the streets because she is not ready to change. I try to live life but I cry daily and the pain is unbelievable. And I try to detatch but it is a constant struggle.
Heartbroken Mom
I feel I'm about to lose mind. I can find no happiness in my life anymore. My 35 yr old son has been a meth addict for nearly 15 yrs now. My husband and I have helped, actually enabled, him for way too long. He's been to rehab 3 times. He has stolen from. Lived on his own and with us depending on his work situation. Well he came back to stay with us on Christmas Eve after being on street. Put him to work at our business. He did okay for the first 3 months or so, but things are declining again. He is seeing a therapist but I don't know how effective that is. He doesn't go to AA meetings even though he said he would. He's not trying to help himself. The lies, not coming home, you know the story. Things are about to come to a head and we will have to ask him to leave. Only this time it has to be final. My husband and I deserve better than this, we deserve some calm in our life. I am pretty certain he will have no where to go and will be on the street again. I'm posting here because I need prayers and suggestions on how to be strong enough to survive this ordeal. I feel befeated. I will always pray for my son and that God will determine what is the best outcome for him.
Evie,
I also have a 35 year addict son. I could tell you great stories unfortunately there are more horror stories.I have learned this from someone on this web site. the 3 C's
1) I didn't cause it
2) I can't control it
3) I can't cure it.
Read stories on here, it helps. There are so many of us parents that have been enabling for so long. Money, tears, heartbreak and to no avail. My son is on the run has a warrant on his head. I won't see him again alive. But I will see him again one day in heaven. And I hope when I do see him he will be drug free and happy like he was as a child. He choose a life I would never of chosen for him. But once he became an adult he made his one choice. I wish we had more help for them once they become 18. I wish our hands weren't tied with the bureaucracy and stupid health insurance problems. I would of lock my son up for years!! Because that is what he needs long term rehab and guidance, something I can't give him. But our society is so money driven with health issues that there is no hope.
Be strong read the stories live your life. He is always in my heart and my dreams, but I won't let my addict son destroy my life with my other children and my husband.
XXX God Bless.
Sue
I also have a 35 year addict son. I could tell you great stories unfortunately there are more horror stories.I have learned this from someone on this web site. the 3 C's
1) I didn't cause it
2) I can't control it
3) I can't cure it.
Read stories on here, it helps. There are so many of us parents that have been enabling for so long. Money, tears, heartbreak and to no avail. My son is on the run has a warrant on his head. I won't see him again alive. But I will see him again one day in heaven. And I hope when I do see him he will be drug free and happy like he was as a child. He choose a life I would never of chosen for him. But once he became an adult he made his one choice. I wish we had more help for them once they become 18. I wish our hands weren't tied with the bureaucracy and stupid health insurance problems. I would of lock my son up for years!! Because that is what he needs long term rehab and guidance, something I can't give him. But our society is so money driven with health issues that there is no hope.
Be strong read the stories live your life. He is always in my heart and my dreams, but I won't let my addict son destroy my life with my other children and my husband.
XXX God Bless.
Sue
