I Did The Unthinkable

I was clean for 15 months and then broke my arm. I was put on vic's and its been 2 1/2 months. I am a nurse and I am presently at work now. Prior to getting help 15 months ago, I was taking narc's (anyhing I could get my hands on, but vic's were my drug of choice) from my patients. Well I did it!!!!! Right now I feel like a dog. If it were for my 2 kids I think I would just end my life now. I HATE this!!!!! HELP
Hi Zannie,

Sorry to hear that you're back on the vics...more than a few relapses have started just the same way (i.e., legitimate injury and pain, small script for drug of choice, you know the rest). I can speak from experience on that....

If you're still using, you know where it can, and probably will, lead if unchecked -- especially if you're a health care professional...stealing meds... loss of license, maybe prosecution, child custody issues. It's bleak. I know I'm not telling you anything you don't know, especially if you've put 15 months together in AA/NA before. You and your kids desrve a better life than the one these pills will condemn you to. I can hear the blame and self-loathing in your post. I remember being in that place so well. It is the worst. How can we help turn some of that self-loathing into the type of positive action that helped you stop, and stay stopped, before? Peace, M.
hello, i just saw your post and i have been clean for 6 months and three days, and i am also a nurs , but i worked in the ER , pills, pills, pills all at my access, i got caught & was ordered to go to rehab and so i did & they didn't take my licence and press charges against me, that was good, atleast I am not in troubl w/the law.. thank god they put that new program intervention, so..

i am raising three kids & i have really bad back problems put back on pain pills and released my addiction out all over again, so i understand 100% and then some. please rember this to shall pass!!:0

go to some meetings it will help it did 4-me atleast, please take care your kids need there mommy, as mine do, all the best, fellow addict...
Thank you for your input. I am going to a na meeting tomorrow and I am not going to get a new refillon my script. I know if I don't stop this now, its just going to keep getting harder and harder. I know I can;t do it on my own I need to get back to the program. I ws taking pills before I went into rehab but luckily I never got caught. I knew it was going to happen sooner or later so thats when I knew I really had a problem. I got clean once and dammit I am going to do it again. Thanks again for listening to my problems. And I wish you all the luck w/ you kids. Ann